The Single Girl's To-Do List (15 page)

‘Four,’ he nodded. ‘You look beautiful by the way. I wasn’t sure it was you at first.’

‘Same.’ I wasn’t quite sure what to do. The last time we’d spoken, it was with raised voices. And then there was the terrible Monster Munch hate crime. Still felt bad about that. ‘So.’

‘So,’ he took my arm in his. ‘Walk?’

This was the second time in two days I was positive someone was going to kill me. When I had a boyfriend, I could go weeks without fear of homicide, months even. I really hoped this was just teething trouble and not a regular part of singledom. We walked out of the gallery in silence, up a sweeping staircase and stopped once we reached a grand balcony, overlooking the ballroom. Phew, witnesses. I spotted Emelie in her red dress right away. I was so proud of her; she looked as if she was having the time of her life.

‘Should we be up here?’ I looked around nervously. I was pathologically terrified of Getting into Trouble and the balcony was all but pitch-black, only lit by the dance floor below. Didn’t seem like somewhere we should be.

‘Should you be here at all?’ Dan asked. Thankfully I could hear the hint of a smile in his voice. ‘Don’t actually remember seeing your name on the guest list.’

‘I’m Em’s date,’ I reminded him. ‘I was on there, just under my other name, plus one.’

‘So you’ll go gay to get into parties just to see me, but you can’t be arsed to stick around and finish a job?’

I took that to assume he wasn’t mad at me any more.

‘I want to say sorry for Monday.’ Deep breath, genuine-sounding apology, beg him to take me to Sydney with him, go and get more champagne. You can do this, Summers. ‘Everything went a bit blank. She opened her mouth and I just saw red.’

‘So I see.’ He responded by taking a strand of my hair and running his fingers along to the end. As it dropped back onto my neck, a shiver ran down my spine and all the way back up again. ‘Did the red hair make you crazy or did the crazy lead to the hair?’

‘The list led to the hair.’ I mentally slapped myself around the face. Dan Fraser did not make me tingly. Dan Fraser made models and morons tingly and I was neither. Most of the time. ‘As you’ve probably noticed, I can’t be trusted to take care of myself, so Em and Matthew have made me this list to … oh god, it sounds so stupid saying it out loud.’

He turned around to rest his back on the banister and gave me his best Roger Moore eyebrow. It worked well with the tux.

‘It’s a list of things to do to help me deal with the whole being single thing,’ I confessed before I could stop myself. So that was how James Bond got so many women. It was all in the tux.

‘Explain please.’

This was fine. I would let him take the piss for five minutes and then he would agree to get me on the Sydney job and then it would all be worth it. Dignity was overrated anyway.

‘I’ve never really done the single gal about town thing.’ I examined my rush-job manicure while I spoke and resisted the urge to start peeling. ‘I didn’t really know what to do when Simon, well, when Simon dumped me.’ It was still bloody difficult to say. ‘And I’m always writing lists for whatever and so, the single girl’s to-do list was born.’

‘And what is on this miraculous list?’ he enquired. At least he wasn’t laughing. ‘Apart from drastic hair alterations and getting fired?’

‘Getting fired wasn’t on there actually.’ I pulled the list out of my tiny beaded evening bag. I didn’t imagine for a second I’d need it but my OCD had developed a new symptom that apparently required me to carry it with me everywhere. It was my very small, very delicate, very close to disintegrating blankie. ‘See? Makeover, exercise, bungee jump – or similar, tattoo, date for my dad’s wedding, buy something obscenely expensive and selfish, write a letter to your ex, find your first crush and break the law.’

He took the napkin from my hand and studied it for a moment. A long moment in which my heart almost stopped. Then he handed it back.

‘You’re going to do a bungee jump?’ Dan did not look convinced.

Or die.

‘Or similar.’

I stashed the list safely away, looked back at Bond and prepared to start begging.

‘So I was talking to Veronica and she said you were going to Sydney,’ I began.

‘Yeah, next weekend. It’s really over with Simon? This isn’t just some distraction until you get back together?’ Dan stared ahead into the darkness beyond the balcony.

‘Definitely,’ I confirmed. Talking about just exactly how dumped I was wasn’t aiding me in my plan to be nice to him. ‘Thanks for making sure.’

‘But you’re never single,’ he said quietly. ‘I’ve known you for six years and you’ve never been single.’

Without the light of the ballroom on his face, I couldn’t make out his expression without staring at him. So I did that.

‘First time for everything,’ I replied. ‘You’re the professional bachelor. Maybe I should have come to you for advice? What are your top tips on surviving singledom?’

‘Don’t be single,’ he replied instantly.

Oh. Awk-ward.

‘Maybe I need to be on my own for a bit,’ I replied, feeling ten times more uncomfortable than I had in the bar. ‘Given that I haven’t been before.’

‘I give you a week.’ He turned back to face me, his usual slightly mocking smile back in place. ‘I know you, you’re not the kind of girl who can be on her own.’

‘Thanks for the vote of confidence.’ I rubbed my tattoo with my thumb. ‘I already crashed and burned once tonight and I’m supposed to be finding someone to take to my dad’s wedding, not hiding from the cool kids with you.’

‘We’re not the cool kids?’ he asked, taking my wrist in his hands. ‘I can’t believe you got a tattoo. How far are you down this list anyway?’

‘Hmm, makeover, exercise, tattoo, crush, all ticked off,’ I counted in my head. ‘So four down, six to go.’

‘Crush?’ He traced the pattern of ink along my wrist. There was that shudder again. Oh balls. No, I was not going to have girl feelings for Dan, three glasses of champagne and a little light stroking or not.

‘This boy I went to school with.’ My voice was involuntarily shaky. Stupid ovaries making decisions without me. ‘I found him on Facebook, he lives in Canada now.’

‘Oh, right.’

I turned my attention back to finding Emelie, but she wasn’t on the dance floor. And neither was married-with-children Tim. Not ideal.

‘Didn’t your dad get married last year?’ Dan asked, leaning over the balcony at the side of me. He was so close, I could smell his shampoo. Nice that he’d showered especially. Not that I was thinking about Dan in the shower. ‘Or was it the year before?’

‘Year before.’ Score five points for remembering. ‘It’s a fairly regular thing, a bit like a leap year.’

‘You didn’t think to ask me?’

I smiled and shook my head. ‘I actually did.’

‘But?’ He was so warm. How was he so warm? It was freezing on that balcony.

‘But you’re dating Ana.’

Never in six years had I known Dan to be lost for words. It must have been a full moon. Or a blue moon. Or the apocolypse.

‘I’m dating Ana,’ he repeated eventually. ‘So of course you wouldn’t have asked.’

‘That, and the last time I saw you, you fired me and then I stomped on your Monster Munch.’ I tipped my head to one side. ‘Not a euphemism.’

‘But you would have asked if I wasn’t?’

‘For the want of anyone else to ask, yes.’

‘Fuck off.’ He closed his eyes and smiled to himself. Smug git.

‘You’re such a charmer.’ Down on the dance floor I spotted Emelie twirl back onto the dance floor, thankfully
sans
Married Tim.

‘Leo,’ he held out his hands. ‘Obviously.’

‘Virgo,’ I replied. ‘Obviously.’

‘Most beautiful sign in the zodiac.’ Dan turned to look me straight in the eye for the first time that night. He tucked my hair behind my ear and left his hand resting on my cheek. ‘That colour really does suit you.’

‘Aren’t I the make-up artist?’ I tried to laugh at the cheesiness of his lines but all I could think about was that hand on my cheek. His skin was warm but mine was burning. ‘I’m the one who’s supposed to be worried about colours.’

‘I would have been a great make-up artist.’ He dropped his hand. Hmm, maybe I didn’t want him to move it after all.

‘It’s not like you’re a bad photographer.’ Wasn’t there a point to this conversation when we started it? I was definitely trying to get somewhere and I was certain that the original destination was never into Dan’s pants. ‘But make-up is probably the only other profession that would have given you access to more women.’

He squinted at me through a few unruly curls, smile vanishing. ‘You really do think I’m just a massive slag, don’t you?’

I wanted to say no, because he obviously wanted me to say no. But I really did. Even if I felt terrible about it. Ish.

‘I don’t think you’re a massive slag.’

Diplomacy was, after all, just socially acceptable lying.

‘Just a regular slag?’

‘I think you’ve “dated” a lot of models.’ I made air quotes around dated and got a foul look for my efforts. ‘And I think you have a very flirty attitude with the rest of the models.’

‘Like I said, Leo,’ he leaned forward again. ‘Can’t help that.’

‘I’m fairly certain that you can’t blame your star sign for your behaviour when you’re thirty.’ I tried to lean over the balcony beside him without flashing the entire dance floor below. ‘You are what you are.’

‘And what are you?’ Dan asked. ‘Aside from a borderline OCD totally judgemental cow?’

Right back on track. Awesome.

‘Aside from that?’

‘Aside from that.’

I watched Emelie dancing just a few feet below, laughing as she spun from man to man. It was a mystery to me how she hadn’t been fooled into shackling herself to someone before now. Maybe she really did love being single. Maybe there really was something to it.

‘I don’t know what I am. I’m good at my job. I’m a good peacekeeper, contrary to what’s happening right now. I know all the words to every Destiny’s Child song on record and a couple that aren’t.’ I rubbed my bare arms. Along with the lights, someone had forgotten to turn the heating on up here. ‘I want a family. I want a dog. I’m always cold. I can recite the entire script of
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
when I’ve had more than three whiskeys. What else do you want to know?’

‘
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
is a criminally underrated movie.’ He slipped off his jacket and placed it around my shoulders. ‘Better?’

It might have buried me and it was so warm from where it had been moulded to Dan’s body but, in all honesty, I wasn’t warmed through from the shared body heat so much as the act itself.

‘Better.’ I slid my arms through the sleeves and looked at my fingertips peeping out of the ends, before I let them dangle down. ‘Thanks.’

‘You’re welcome.’

The music that had been so loud downstairs was just an echo up on the balcony, a pulsing beat that counted down the seconds of silence between us.

‘That really is a beautiful picture,’ I said, just to say something. ‘In the gallery.’

‘I love what I do.’ He accepted the compliment with a graceful nod. ‘The magazine stuff pays but that’s what makes me tick.’

‘Yeah, I love doing the editorial stuff,’ I agreed. ‘I’m definitely going to start pursuing more of that side.’

Sydney. I had to convince him to take me to Sydney. ‘Which reminds me, the Sydney job.’

I was fully prepared to launch into all the reasons why he should take me to Australia with him when I felt his hand lightly brush my shoulder. First I looked at the hand, then at his face, back to the hand and again at the face. He wasn’t smiling any more. His lips were slightly parted, eyes trained on mine, as though he was waiting for permission. Not having the words to deal with this situation, I bit my lip and stayed completely still. Taking my silence as assent, his fingers slid down my bare skin until they reached my hand where they curled around mine. My other hand gripped the banister tightly while his other hand found its way onto my cheek. This was too weird. As his head leaned in towards mine, I took a tiny step backwards, breaking his hold on my hand, on my face. He pressed his hands to his sides, looking at the floor.

‘What are you doing?’ I asked once I’d made it a safe distance away.

‘Nothing,’ he replied, taking his own step backwards and banging his fist against the solid oak banister. ‘Just me, isn’t it? Can’t help myself.’

I pulled off his jacket and hurled it in his general direction before I turned and headed for the staircase. I couldn’t be there. I could do this. Whatever it was. Bye-bye Sydney, I thought as I clomped all the way down to the bottom. What an arsehole. And I thought I’d fucked things up by shouting at him. Not even nearly.

‘Hey, there you are,’ a worse-for-wear Emelie greeted me at the bottom of the stairs. Her eyes weren’t quite focused, but best friend telepathy made it quite clear that I wasn’t in the world’s best mood ever. ‘What’s wrong? Do you want to leave?’

‘I’ll tell you later and yes.’ I grabbed one last glass of champagne and sank it in a one-r. ‘I just need to use the loo.’

Em nodded and pointed down the hallway. ‘I’ll call a cab,’ she scrabbled around in her clutch for her phone. ‘We wouldn’t make it off the night bus alive dressed like this.’

‘That or we’d make a lot of money,’ I reasoned, trying to calm down. ‘But I don’t really want to have to put “high-class hooker” on my tax return this year.’

‘So 2009,’ Em agreed.

Promising myself she was joking, I scuttled off to the loo, desperate to be out of my beautiful dress and back in my pyjamas so I could go to bed, wake up tomorrow and pretend the evening had never happened. But, of course, that would have been too easy.

‘Raq – Rachel?’

Ana stared at me from the doorway of the toilets. It was strange to have someone more than a foot taller than you cowering in your presence. She was here? She’d been here the whole time Dan had been doing whatever it was he was doing? He was such a scumbag. As soon as he decides to commit to something, he has to bust a move on the closest single girl he can get his hands on. Actually, that was giving him too much credit; he probably wasn’t too arsed about the single thing.