Authors: Michael Duffy
Ten
E
lizabeth's funeral is at St John's, the old Anglican church in Beecroft, Leila in the front row with her brothers, Chris the lawyer and Pete who is in waste management. On the whole she's glad they live in other cities. Their wives are sitting behind, without the children. Chris wanted to bring his boys, but Pete talked him out of it, the expense of air fares and loss of vital school time. Chris called Leila, hoping she would support him against Pete, but she had no support to give. Since her mother's death last week, she's found it necessary to conserve energy.
She finds herself afflicted by more guilt than she expected. Elizabeth tied the whole thing up into a simple proposition, but it doesn't feel like that now. Stuart, too, always said it would be a good death, and Leila still wants to believe this. But there is so much emotion that at times it is difficult to think or move, and when she is alone she finds herself sitting still for long periods, until the phone rings. This past week, it has rung so much.
The guilt isn't because her mother is gone, or because of the Mexico business, but because she is relieved. That's what no one prepared her for. This past year was the hardest of her life, and although at the time she attributed all sorts of emotional significance to this, now she sees much of it came from mere weariness and tedium. Being a carer was harder than jail. Don't believe what they tell you, not all women are cut out for it. Maybe it destroyed her sense of things. She wonders yet again if the decision to help her mother die was quite as straightforward as it seemed.
âDon't feel bad, it's perfectly natural,' Ben said when she told him something of how she is feeling, as they were standing outside the church just before the service.
Ben Farrell was her mother's GP, and Leila and he had become friendly. He is dark and handsome, divorced and a few years younger than herself, and they went out for dinner two months ago, twice. After the second time they went to bed. Just from the way he looks at her, she is reminded she has breasts and hips, she is still an attractive woman, despite the way she has spent her days lately. It was pleasant, but Leila told him she wanted to wait before they did it again. I am just so tired, she said, not wanting to complain.
I am so tired
. And now here he is at the church, admiring the line of her black Armani suit and obviously wanting to see more of her. She wonders what to do about him.
The last time she seriously broke the law was when she'd been into the drugs, using smack for three years after she graduated. It was a casual thing for the first two years, and she'd been able to keep working as a teacher. Then she'd become a daily user and left her job to concentrate on funding her habit. There'd been no need to commit any crime apart from dealing: she'd found it possible to get enough gear for herself by supplying other addicts, as long as she was organised about it. Some of them weren't the most pleasant people, but once she'd got rid of the boyfriend who'd introduced her to smack and set up a regular arrangement, things settled down. The discipline skills she'd acquired as a teacher proved useful in keeping her clients under control: several were only a few years older than the pupils to whom she'd recently taught history.
She'd ended up in jail for the usual reason. One of her clients, a smelly guy named Rod, was busted, and the cops offered him a cut in his jail time if he gave up his dealer. Leila was always careful to keep only a small quantity in the flat, but that day she'd been holding another dealer's supply, waiting for him to collect it. She'd done it reluctantly, as a favour to her supplier, who'd provided protection from an unruly client a week earlier. When the cops came in the door after Rod they found more than they should have, enough to get her three years at Mulawa once she declined to inform on her supplier.
She'd been a model prisoner, excellent chance of rehabilitation, and was let out after ten months. In those days the prisons of New South Wales were bursting at the seams.
After that, she got a job as an education bureaucrat because they weren't hiring ex-junkies as teachers. She never touched smack again, and never experienced life as intensely again either. It was not that she was depressed, in the way she'd sometimes been at university, but her emotions seemed to exist in a narrow band, without highs or lows. She was like one of those sad people who say school was the happiest time of their life, except with her it wasn't school. And it hadn't been happiness, not exactly.
There were plenty of men. Lewis, of course, and Andrew, less intense but they lived together for years. He'd left three years ago because he'd wanted children and she wasn't ready. She remembers their final argument, when she said, âI just don't want kids yet. What part of that don't you understand?'
âI guess,' he said, âit's the word
yet
.'
So here she is, almost forty and with no one. Sometimes you panic, but it goes away. Then it comes back.
In other ways her life is good, an executive position in the Department of Education, responsible for the history syllabus development and implementation. For the past twelve months she's been on unpaid leave: the public service is helpful that way. Returning to work next week with a strong chance of promotion to look forward to. Thank God for work.
Now she tries to pay attention to the service, listens to the vicar describing her mother in glowing terms. Elizabeth was never religious until six months ago, when Reverend Roberts started calling. A tall, thin man who seemed nervous around her.
âAnd what about you, Leila?' he said one day, clearing his throat. âAre you religious?'
âI'm more a
long, withdrawing roar
type,' she said, throwing a bit of poetry at him.
He took it on the chin, looked around, said, âI love these old houses.'
Leila knew her mother's effort to befriend the man had nothing to do with any religious impulse, it was so her funeral would be done by someone who'd known her. The event started to loom large in their conversation, Elizabeth taking an interest in hymns and spending time on the phone with people she hadn't talked with in years, inviting them to the house for afternoon teas Leila was expected to cater for. You had to respect her mother's determination, but there was a lot of baking involved.
âYou should get her to stop,' Ben said one day, surprised when he turned up unexpectedly and found Elizabeth out of bed and pouring coffee for a small crowd of matrons. âIt's putting a frightful strain on her. And you.'
âI can manage,' Leila said.
His face creased in concern. âCarers always say that, but it's not always true. I can see what this is doing to you.'
âDon't I look good?'
âYou always look good. But you're under a lot of pressure, you need to keep your strength up.'
âFor the end, you mean?'
He smiled: he liked that she was tough about these things, or at least he gave the impression he did. âI see carers who use up every last ounce of strength, hanging on until their loved one dies. Then there's nothing left to help them grieve, and they break down.'
She shrugged politely; she was not like other people.
Towards the end, Elizabeth's bones became brittle like chalk and she could hardly walk, no longer able to bear the touch of another human being because of the pain and the fear a hug might break a rib. The only thing that kept her going was a plan she'd come up with on account of another doctor, Stuart Emery. Her oldest friend, Tami Goddard, had introduced her to Stuart. Really, he'd changed everything. Stuart was English, fair hair and round face, glasses and smooth skin, worked as a GP in Eastwood. Tami started bringing him around, and Elizabeth made it clear to Leila that Stuart and Ben were not to meet.
âAn incident in the past,' she said vaguely. âThey can't stand each other.'
Before long there was a group of regular visitors whom Leila had not met before. A few weeks later, Elizabeth gravely informed her she had decided to take her own life. Some of her new friends were members of a voluntary euthanasia society, and were providing her with support.
Leila's first reaction was not shock but surprise: this was radical, and Elizabeth had never been a radical. She thought about this a lot in the next few weeks. The pain must be extraordinary, to have led her mother to this point. But then, Leila had seen how she'd been affected, and it made sense that she would want not just to cope with the pain but to fight it. After a while it occurred to Leila that, in the circumstances, suicide might be considered a sort of victory.
It was a thought she rejected instinctively. But you had to wonder if this was merely the approved view kicking in, the authorised position. Leila was a public official and read the papers, she knew how you were supposed to feel about these things. Elizabeth and she had many conversations about it, and Leila started to wonder if the way you were supposed to feel was a little too convenient.
As she watched Elizabeth suffer terribly, with Ben and the people from the palliative care service unable to relieve much of her pain, the disconnection between this reality and the law began to press on her. It was not just about pain: her mother had lost much of her mobility, and her bodily functions were breaking down. Leila had read somewhere that the Catholic archbishop, Patrick Walsh, had said about voluntary euthanasia that the dying deserved not death but love. But from her perspective, mopping up her mother's shit, living with the stink and all the hurt of what was happening to her, love did not have much to do with it. Love does not conquer all. People who thought it could, people like Archbishop Walsh, were romantics. Or ideologues.
One day Elizabeth, grown weary of these conversations, said, âYou don't have to agree with me, dear. I just want you to help me.'
It was well put, and Leila accepted what she had to do. Time was running out. In the universities and in the opinion pages, debate went on. But in life, with pain filling the big house, the smells drifting through the long days, decisions had to be made. She told her mother she would help.
Elizabeth looked at her and said, âThank you, dear. Maybe things have worked out after all, don't you think?'
Leila smiled tightly. Her mother had always had the ability to confuse her own interests with those of the cosmos. But that was not the point. The time had come when she could stop thinking and turn her attention to practical arrangements.
One of Elizabeth's new friends was planning to go to Mexico to buy some Nembutal, a barbiturate that Stuart Emery said was the best way of killing yourself. Leila looked into it on the internet, read books, found he was right. The arrangement was that Elizabeth would pay for the trip, and the friend would bring back an extra bottle for her. But the friend died before she could travel, so Elizabeth asked Leila to go.
And she had.
After the service, Leila stands in the bright sunshine accepting condolences. It is ridiculously hot and everyone is uncomfortable, and this seems appropriate for her mother's funeral. Lewis and Wendy are among the first to approach her, Lewis having to get back to work.
âNice church,' he says, hands on hips, squinting up at the brick and slate bulk above them.
He is still good-looking, a big man with strong limbs, a bit of weight around the middle but not too much. His suit with the Prince of Wales pattern is elegant. For a moment she is carried away.
â
The sea of faith
,' she says, quoting the poem they used to recite to each other, â
was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore
â'
â
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled
,' says Wendy.
Leila looks at Wendy, smiles and hugs her. Wendy has that thin pale skin that often goes with red hair and doesn't age well. Lately Leila always wants to get her out of the sun.
âSorry we have to rush,' Lewis says. âI've got my interview this afternoon.' He smiles, and when Leila says nothing adds, âFor the head's job.'
âI know,' she says. âI did mine on Monday.'
âLeila!' He seems surprised. âThat's very resilient of you.'
Well, she thinks as she waves them off and prepares to hug someone else, life goes on.
Some of the members of the group are there, but not Stuart, whose support for voluntary euthanasia is too well known. Ben is approaching, looking distinguished in a dark suit although his tie has too much red in it for the occasion. She can tell he desperately wants to hug her, take her away somewhere and provide consolation. To be honest she would like that, to go back to his house and fuck each other to exhaustion. But it is not going to happen.
âI have to get back,' he says.
Yesterday he raised the possibility of cancelling today's surgery to be with her, was disappointed when she told him not to be ridiculous. She has to let him out of her life more gently.
âIt's all right,' she says. âThank you for everything you've done. I'm so very grateful.'
âI'm glad I could help,' he says, seeking to lay the lightest of burdens on her. âI'll call you tomorrow.'
âMy feelings are very confused at the moment. Let me call you.'
He risks a hand on her arm. âYou loved her very much, didn't you?'
She tries not to flinch. All that matters now is the cremation. There can be no autopsy after that. She hates having to think like a criminal still, but it is almost over.
âThank you again,' she says, pressing his hand, and then he is gone, almost pushed out of the way by the jostling of others behind him in the queue. Leila wonders if old people are always so stimulated by the funeral of someone younger than themselves.
Still, it is a good crowd. Elizabeth would have been pleased.
Eleven
T
he main building of St Thomas' was a massive Victorian pile. Like an unnecessary argument, its elaborate facade reared above the simple propositions of terrace houses that ran up and down the surrounding hills. The three detectives were met in the large lobby by David Saunders. The acting CEO was a tall man somewhere around sixty, his big face handsome and lined. He was wearing pinstripe trousers but no coat, as though the whole hospital was his office. There was an easy authority to his manner, and Troy sensed this was based on solid foundations: here was someone used to making decisions and keeping secrets. His normal job was chief financial officer, and McIver had explained yesterday this covered a lot more ground than in most organisations. Troy wasn't surprised McIver should know this: he'd once said he didn't know everything about Sydney, but usually he knew who to ask.
After the introductions, McIver announced the discovery of Mark Pearson's body. Saunders winced and looked away briefly.
âTragic,' he said. âDoes Emily know?'
âI've got someone calling on her,' said McIver.
âHe was so young. You just . . .' He made the sign of the cross, just a flick of fingers over chest. âAnything more on the pethidine?'
He seemed to have absorbed the fact of Pearson's death quickly.
âNo.'
âI hear you had a witness, a possible witness, but he got away?'
McIver nodded. Saunders was staring at him, not exactly accusing but wanting to make it clear he knew there'd been a stuff-up. Wanting to see how Mac would react. After a few seconds of this he said, âLet's talk in my office.'
The bright white corridors were busy with people, doctors and other staff with stethoscopes and security passes hanging off their clothing at different points, members of the public moving more slowly and clasping bags, magazines and flowers. As they walked, Saunders made small talk, explained that he'd been in the job fifteen years, had seen the hospital double in size.
âWhere do you get the space?' Troy said, thinking about the location of the hospice, almost a kilometre away.
âUpwards and outwards. People leave us money, we have a secret buying program in the neighbourhood. The local real estate agents know, of course. It takes a certain guile, but we don't have much choice.' He smiled at Troy, as though to imply he had no secrets from the detectives.
Saunders' office was big and there were three seating options: a large desk with chairs in front; a table with eight chairs; and a sofa and two armchairs grouped around a rug. He pointed to the table and his secretary took orders for coffee. When they were seated, McIver explained the state of the investigation and asked Saunders to tell them about Mark Pearson's job. Conti took out a digital recorder and turned it on.
Saunders described how the nun who'd run the hospital for decades had retired two years ago. Her replacement, Alan Bellamy, was not a member of a religious order. He wasn't even a Catholic.
âThat decision marked an important turning point for St Thomas',' he said, his eyes switching between the detectives as he spoke. âThe board was sending a clear signal that times had changed. Most of those who ran the place were Catholics who'd known each other, been here a long time. There was a perception by some that they were too close.'
Troy wondered what any of this had to do with Mark Pearson.
âYou're a Catholic yourself?' said McIver.
âThat's right.'
One of Bellamy's initiatives had been to create the position of hospital ombudsman, an independent person to consider complaints from patients and their families.
âIt's a relatively new idea for Australia, an ombudsman in a hospital,' Saunders said, crossing his legs and staring at the cloth of his trousers. âComplaints are a big thing with us; New South Wales is supposed to be the most litigious place in the world for suing hospitals, even worse than America. So we've always had people dealing with that sort of thingânaturally we want to sort it out before it gets to court, if possible.'
âDoesn't the Health Care Complaints Commission deal with serious complaints?' said Conti.
âUsually we're their first port of call, and Bellamy thought we could do better. He thought if the position was more high profile, that was good for everyone, and if it was more independent, people might have more confidence. The HCCC wasn't too happy but Bellamy got the minister's approval.'
âSo did Mark Pearson make a lot of enemies?' McIver said cheerfully.
Saunders recrossed his legs so one ankle rested on the knee of the other leg, and transferred his attention to his shoe.
He said, âThe idea is wonderful in theory. It tells the public we care, and it keeps the staff on their toes. But the hospital performs millions of procedures every year, so the potential for dissatisfaction is considerable.' He shrugged and looked at McIver. âTo cut a long story short, the new position has been overwhelmed by the volume of complaints.'
âHow many?'
âMark started nine months ago, spent three months setting up processes and systems, recruiting a secretary and three investigators, went live six months ago. Basically he advertised for complaints. He's received three hundred and eighty-two so far. It's been a popular initiative, at least with the public. The office has been swamped.' He looked at his watch. âI've asked Mark's deputy, Paula Williams, to join us in a few minutes. She's been talking to Sergeant Rostov, going through the complaints and identifying anyone we think might bear Mark a grudge. There's one in particular she mentioned to me last night, a man called Valdez.' He looked at the door and tapped his left shoe impatiently.
Troy said, âHow many complaints have been dealt with so far?'
âTwo hundred and twenty. They were mainly the easy ones, including over eighty that were rejected out of hand because they don't fit the guidelines.'
âSo there are many people who might be angry with the ombudsman?'
âYep. As far as unhappy patients are concerned, you might say Mark was the hospital's public face.'
âWow,' said McIver.
Saunders grimaced. âIt's been getting worse. It was thought the public would only use the ombudsman for serious matters. Either that was wrong, or their idea of what's serious is different to ours. Now, every week that goes by, the backlog grows.'
Conti said, âSo you need more staff?'
âIt's not going to happen. Mark was under pressure to deal with the complaints more quickly.'
âFrom you?' said McIver.
âFrom Bellamy. He's not happy.'
Saunders was looking at McIver only now, his eyes a little wide, no trace of a smile. Maybe a hint of triumph. Troy wondered if he'd applied for the CEO job himself.
He said, âHow was Mark coping?'
âThe media haven't helped.
A Current Affair
did a segment last month, some of the rejected complainants went to them. Cheryl Hurst has been onto it.' He winced. âThose people can rip your heart out.' Cheryl Hurst was a new star of the city's often-savage talkback radio culture.
âYou reckon Mark was depressed?'
Saunders considered this. âHe seemed all right to me. It's one of the reasons he was hired, he was very mature. Last week he was as keen as ever.'
âKeen?' said McIver.
âYes.' He looked at his trousers and said bleakly, âThe enthusiasm of youth was undiminished.'
There was a knock on the door, which was opened by a stocky woman in her forties. She had short blonde hair and was wearing a brown suit that didn't fit very well. She was clasping a folder to her chest.
âPaula Williams,' said Saunders, âdoing Mark's job for the moment.'
She smiled and shook hands; it was a good smile, but it disappeared when Saunders told her about the discovery of Pearson's body. She pulled out a handkerchief and went to work on her face while the detectives watched with discreet curiosity.
When she was back in control, Troy said, âSo you're the new ombudswoman.'
âOmbudsman,' she said, her voice slightly hoarse. âIt's a Swedish word. Not gender-specific.'
âWe're just wondering,' McIver said, âif you could tell us anything about Mark Pearson's wife?' It was abrupt, and Saunders looked at him with interest.
Williams frowned. âEmily and Mark had a good marriage. They collected paintings. That was their passion. And travel. And work.'
âNo children?'
âNo.'
âActive social life?'
âBusy people, lot of friends, he plays soccer. Goes to lots of galleries, subscribes to the Brandenburg. Every Monday night, he goes to the Matthew Talbot Hostel in Woolloomooloo and helps feed the homeless. He's quite brilliant, but good with people too.' Thought about it, said, âwas.'
âWhat about the pressure he was under from the job, how was he handling that?'
âOkay. I think. He was used to pressure. I mean, being married to Emily . . .'
âI'm sorry?'
âAn ambitious woman. Lots of energy.' It didn't sound as though she liked Emily.
âAny vices?'
She smiled. âSometimes, when things got tough, he'd go out and buy a block of chocolate.'
âOkay,' said Troy.
âI think it was more for the walk than the chocolate. Most of it was eaten by the rest of us.'
McIver rubbed his jaw. âHow bad are things in the office?'
She glanced at Saunders. âThe complaint rate has exploded, up forty-seven per cent in three months. The complainants ring us to see how the complaints are going, we have to log and deal with each of those calls, which clogs things up even more.'
âDid Mark actually
know
how bad it was?'
She opened her mouth to protest, then shut it again. Smart woman, thought Troy. âI'm not sure.' Another glance at Saunders. âHe'd had a good career before he came here, but he hadn't actually been responsible for anything operational, not like this. From one or two little comments, nothing specific, I think he'd started to realise maybe he was going to fail. For the first time in his life. I think his father set high standards for him. And then Emily . . .'
âYes?'
âI shouldn't say. It's speculation, I only met her twice. She's a high flier herself. I think, I mean I'd be guessing, she would have expected high performance from him.'
âWould you say he was depressed?'
âNo. Not at all.'
McIver said, âWe found some pethidine in his bag.'
She looked shocked, her jaw dropping in a way that in other circumstances would have been comical.
âI had no idea.'
âCan you think of how he might have got it?'
She lifted her hands. âThis is not true. Do you understand that? I don't believe it.' She looked indignant at the very idea. âThat sort of thing is kept under lock and key. I did a report on it when I was in audit, before I got this job. The systems are all in place, control is pretty good.' Then, her forehead creasing, âBut this is a hospital.'
âAnd?'
âDrugs go missing all the time. Hospitals attract people who like drugs.'
âWorkers, you mean.'
âIt would have had to come from one of the medical staff. Mark did not have access.' She was flushed, trying to come to terms with it. Troy figured her as conscientious, probably a bit nervous. Loyal.
McIver said, âCan you think of anyone who'd want to hurt him?'
âMark didn't work on individual complaints, but he signed all the letters and attended mediation sessions. So everyone we reject would have his name.' She nodded, as if to herself. âSome of them are pretty angry people, but there's only one who's ever threatened to harm us.'
âValdez?'
âOur star complainant,' murmured Saunders.
âWith reason.' Williams kept her eyes on the detectives. âHis wife presented to Emergency one Friday night six months ago. Some of your people brought her in; they'd found her wandering around, dazed and confused. She smelled like she was drunk, our people were rushed off their feet and put her on a trolley in a corner to sleep it off. She was an undiagnosed diabetic, went into a ketoacidotic coma and died at three am without anyone noticing.'
âShe had been drinking?'
âIt's called ketonesâyour breath smells like you've been drinking but you haven't been.'
McIver rubbed his jaw. âSad. So Mr Valdez is unhappy.'
âWrote to the newspapers, sent us a copy, then he came in twice, yelling and screaming, making threats against Mark. They had a shov- ing match the second time. We called security, they called the police. Turned out he had convictions for violence, so we took out an AVO.'
Troy looked at Saunders to see how he was taking this. He was keeping his eye on Williams, seemed okay with what she was saying.
McIver said, âSo you'd rejected his complaint?'
âOn the contrary,' Saunders said, âwe acknowledged responsibility and apologised, offered him financial compensation. He rejected our offer. Alan had got Mark to handle it personally which is why Valdez focused on him.'
âMr Valdez talked about maybe wanting more money, launching a civil action,' said Williams. âIt wasn't very clear what he wanted, he was upset and confused. And usually drunk.'
âYou mean really drunk,' McIver said, ânot just diabetes?'
âWe believed so. We were happy to talk, but since the AVO we haven't heard from him. That was one month ago.' She opened the folder and handed Troy some sheets of paper stapled together. âThat's the last address we have for him, and a summary of our dealings. Plus a copy of one of his letters. It's all confidential.'
As Troy scanned the documents, McIver pulled out Pearson's diary and showed it to Williams. As she'd already told Rostov, she had no idea about the 6 pm and 6.30 pm appointments written down for some of the days.