The Silver Siren (14 page)

“
I didn’t know.” I choked
on my emotion. “I never knew you were there.”

“
I didn’t know what to
make of these feelings. I’d been angry when Gwen chose Alek, but
the feelings I had for her were never like the ones I feel for you.
And when I freed you from the prison and saw you, it was almost my
undoing.”

I remembered when Kael opened the door
to my cell, he refused to touch me. He refused to help me and
yelled at me. “I thought it was because you thought I was ugly.” I
studied the floor in embarrassment.

“
I tried to ignore it,
tried to fight it, tried to let my anger cover my feelings. It
didn’t work.” Kael paced back and forth like a caged
cat.

“
That explains why you
acted like you hated me.” I wrapped my arms around legs and brought
my knees up to my chin.

“
I’ve never hated you.
I’ve tried to warn you away from me, thinking that you were better
off without me. But I’m a selfish person, Thalia. I don’t think
you’re better off without me. In fact, I know how much you need me.
No one could protect you better than I can. And I don’t want anyone
else to try.”

I took in his battered appearance and
felt a flood of guilt. He was wounded because of me; he was injured
saving me.

“
I returned home for two
reasons: to ask for forgiveness and to inform them that I intend to
take you as my wife. They wouldn’t approve of you without a test of
your worthiness.” He smirked. “You must have done well enough
because Alba found me and threatened to strike my name from the
family scrolls if I didn’t take you as my lifemate. She said I was
to ‘get after you right now,’ because apparently you had already
left.”

Butterflies filled my heart with joy
and I felt like I was soaring. He wanted to be with me. He wanted
his clan’s approval and I didn’t find the idea terrible. And then I
thought of losing Joss and guilt started to bring me off of the
temporary cloud I was soaring on. I caught a glimpse of a shadow of
my reflection in the mirror across the room. It was too dark to see
clearly, but I knew what I would see. One silver eye. My throat
closed up and I quickly turned away, feeling ashamed of myself. I
didn’t know what was happening to me, and I didn’t want to involve
Kael any more than he already was.

“
Regrettably, Kael, I
don’t think you should have a monster for a lifemate.”

“
But it’s so much more
than just lifemate. I feel it here,” he touched his heart. “You’re
my soul mate. Only death will part us.”

“
That remains to be seen.”
I challenged, glaring at him. I still wanted a way to break the
bond without killing us. Soul mate meant bond or no bond, our lives
would always be tied together. Arguing with him over this was
futile—especially when I didn’t understand it all. I wanted the
freedom to choose Kael on my own, and now I wasn’t sure if I would
ever have it. I turned over to face the wall and pulled the blanket
up over my shoulders.

Kael settled in on top of the
blankets, close but not touching.

Chapter 14

I
awoke the next morning to something warm wrapped around me. I
peeked out of my blankets to see Kael’s body spooning me. Somehow
during the night, the pillow had disappeared. My head lay on Kael’s
arm. I was comfortable and cozy with his left arm lightly draped
over my waist. I turned to look at him but his eyes were closed. I
tried to move away without disturbing him, but he pulled me closer
in protest.

“
Mmm, warm,” was all he
said before his head dipped and he snuggled into the back of my
neck.

“
What are you doing?” I
asked.

“
You got cold last night.
You started to shiver and you said my name. I’m obligated to
protect you, even if it’s from an evil draft.”

“
I did not. I had the
blanket, and I was fine,” I argued quietly, hoping Joss or Hemi
didn’t appear at my door any minute.

“
Okay fine, maybe it was
me that was shivering and cold last night. But it was the least you
could do, since you wouldn’t share your blanket.”

In a final fit, I wrenched the blanket
off of me and threw it over the Kael, and I crawled out of
bed.

“
For a SwordBrother, you
sure are a big baby,” I hissed out and kept looking around the room
for a decent place to change.

“
If I remember right…”
Kael pulled the blanket off and stood up to stretch out his long
limbs, “…it was always you who couldn’t sleep unless I was near. I
think it now goes both ways. I can’t sleep unless I’m warm and
close to you.” He smiled at me, and a tingling sensation ran
through my whole body.

Just then a loud knock came on my
door. Oh no! If Hemi saw Kael in here, I had no doubt he would do
some serious physical damage. I ran across the room and opened up
the window shutter and frantically pointed for Kael to leave
through the window.

He frowned and shook his
head.

“
Oh, why can you climb in
the window at night, but you can’t climb out it during the day?” I
taunted out at him. “Are you scared of daylight?”

Kael straightened his shirt and gave
me a stern look. “I’m not ashamed to be with you.” He walked over
to the door and opened it to a shocked Joss. Joss looked handsome
in brown breeches and light blue shirt and vest. He even had a
plate of cheese and bread.

I watched Joss survey the room and
frown disapprovingly at Kael. He entered to place the tray of food
on the one small dresser. Joss stepped forward and reached out to
touch my cheek, and I couldn’t help but pull away before he touched
me. My rejection caught him by surprise, and I could see the hurt
flash across his face.

I didn’t know how to act around him.
If what Kael said was true, then Joss and I could never be more
than just friends.

Joss dropped his hands to my shoulders
and studied me closely. His posture stiffened and he glared at
Kael. “You told her didn’t you?” Joss asked, frustration making his
voice quiver in anger.

“
That she’s mine. Yes, I
did.” Kael came and stood next to me protectively, glaring at
Joss’s hands. “I had a right to tell her. I gave her time, like I
promised her father.”

“
But you didn’t wait long
enough.” Joss yelled. “I didn’t get a chance to prove
myself.”

“
I would ask that you
remove your hands from her before you lose them,” Kael commanded
through clenched teeth.

“
You
knew
about this, Joss? How long have
you known when I didn’t?” I demanded.

Joss hung his head. “Since our first
day on the road to Skyfell. Kael confronted me and told me to back
off, but he also told me that you didn’t know yet and Bearen asked
him to wait to tell you.”

“
Why Kael?” I pleaded.
“Why wait so long and pretend to not care when the whole time my
feelings for Joss were growing?”

Kael’s fists clenched angrily by his
side. “I was honoring your father’s wishes. He wanted me to try and
win your heart before I told you about becoming my lifemate. So you
wouldn’t resent me and the loss of your freedom, even though you
agreed to the terms of the Kragh Aru.”

Stepping around me, Kael confronted
Joss and pushed him hard in the chest. “But this one—knowing the
oath I made to your father—took advantage and tried to steal you
from me before I even had a chance.”

“
Is this true, Joss?” I
whispered, the gut-wrenching feeling made the words hard to
speak.

Joss’s face turned red and he nodded.
“Don’t be fooled, Thalia. I’ve always had feelings for you. It was
you who kept me at a distance. If I had known, I would have entered
the contest to win your hand in marriage. I would have won the
Kragh Aru.”

“
Doubt it,” Kael growled
out. “You wouldn’t have beaten me.”

“
I might have.”

“
You would have died
trying.” Kael smirked.

“
Now we’ll never know,
will we? It was only by chance that I showed up too late. I feel
like I’m always too late,” Joss answered.

“
You would never have been
allowed to enter Joss,” I said. “My father would never have allowed
a Denai to participate in the Kragh Aru.”

Joss shook his head in disagreement.
“There’s still time Thalia. You can still choose me.”

“
I can’t betray my clan. I
would be exiled.”

“
You don’t know that for
certain. You’re the clan leader’s daughter. And if you loved me it
wouldn’t matter. Choose me and live in Skyfell,” Joss
argued.

How could I be so torn between them?
They’d both made terrible decisions, and now I had to live with the
consequences. I had started to fall in love with Joss, while Kael
stood by and let me. I couldn’t simply take those feelings
back.

But at the same time my love for Kael
had always been there—buried deep and ignored on both of our parts.
Slowly, a bit at a time, he’d been working to dig them
up.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe and
took a step away from both of them. Both Kael and Joss stepped
forward, reaching out a hand to steady me. Shaking my head, I held
up my hands and continued to back away.

Joss and Kael kept their hands
outstretched, as if asking me to choose one.

I couldn’t.

“
Both of you, leave now.”
I pointed to the door, surprised when they obeyed. The door shut
behind them and I sat on the bed, crying in silence.

It was midmorning before we left the
Ginger Dragon Inn and headed to Haven. Joss rode Anthem. How had I
not recognized his horse in the stable yesterday?

Hemi didn’t seem at all startled or
shocked by Kael’s sudden appearance. In fact, he seemed to relax a
bit more in his presence. I hadn’t noticed it before, but Hemi
seemed to have more respect for Kael than Joss. I only could guess
that Hemi also knew of the arrangement with Bearen.

Because of our late start, we were
entering the city of Haven after dark. It seemed surreal. The last
time I had left the city of Haven, I was being escorted by a
retinue of my father’s men and going home to Valdyrstal. There had
been little chance in my mind that I would ever return to see the
city again or to enter the school.

We came to the valley and there it
was. Haven.

Once again I was struck by its beauty,
even at night with a thousand flickering lights of fireplaces and
lanterns. If it had been daylight, I would actually have seen the
houses and streets painted in a variety of brightly colored paints,
signifying their districts.

On a hill overlooking the city of
Haven was Queen Lilyana’s castle. Though a beautiful castle, it
looked cold and uninviting. I wondered briefly what it would be
like to live in a castle and be queen. How lonely was it? My eyes
quickly sought out the Citadel to the east of the castle, the Denai
training school. My heart jumped with joy. I had missed this
place—Lorna and Pax and even Donn. I had been forced to leave
without saying goodbye. Now, I felt like I was back
home.

The Citadel’s training arena was
covered with a large glass dome. At night, the dome was alit from
within, creating a soothing nightlight effect across the city. It
reminded me of a glass ball I had once seen in a shop. The globe
had been filled with water and held a miniature figurine of a small
girl. It was a Denai toy and very expensive.

We entered the city.

The night was silent except for the
sound of water running off of a slate roof and the occasional sound
of a dog barking in the distance. A few men could be seen hobbling
home in the wee hours. By the smell of them, I guessed they’d spent
the night drinking and gambling. After a few minutes, we heard a
soft rumble, the sound of approaching horses filling the
air.

Kael met my eyes, a worried frown on
his face. He directed our horses down a dark alley between two
shops. We both slid off of Faraway and waited. A few seconds later,
a large number of troops wearing Calandry’s colors paraded down the
street. Four of the troops broke off and headed toward the drunken
men, while the others continued down a side road.

Loud voices erupted between the guards
and the men. The largest of the inebriated men turned and tried to
take a swing at the closet guard. He missed and landed in a puddle.
In quick succession the men were rounded up. Their hands were tied
and roped to the horses, and the group departed in the direction of
the palace.

“
Something must have
happened since we left. It seems like there is a curfew in effect.
Those were not the normal guards,” Kael warned.

Joss was tense and on alert the whole
way as well—even up to the white stone guard towers on either side
of the silver gate of the Citadel.

Kael sat stiff in the saddle and kept
a blade hidden by his leg while the guard at the gate questioned
us.

The astonished guard called out. “What
are you doing out? It’s past curfew! If you’re caught, you could
end up in prison.”

“
Well then, open the gate
and so we can avoid the cold cells. I for one would like a warm
place to sleep tonight,” Kael answered back. “You can tell the
adepts that SwordBrother Kael has returned.