The Silent Touch of Shadows (36 page)

‘For God’s sake, woman! Of course I’m sure. What do I have to do to prove it?’

‘Get rid of Roger,’ she muttered, turning her back on him so he wouldn’t see the tears rolling down her cheeks.

‘Melissa
 
…’ Gently he turned her over and into his arms again. He wiped the salty droplets away with gentle fingers. ‘Sweetheart. I can’t get rid of him, but I’m sure in time he will leave of his own accord. Until then, there is nothing I, or you, can do. When he leaves, I swear I will still love you. Only you.’ He stroked her back, murmuring soothing words as if she were a child, but the lump of misery remained inside her. She wished with all her heart that she could believe him, but at the moment it was impossible.

‘I’m sorry, Jake, but I don’t think it’s fair of me to make any sort of commitment to you until I’m sure. I love you too, but at the same time I love Roger. When I see him or even just hear his voice
 
… Well, I have the same feelings as I do when I’m with you. The two of you are confused in my mind and I’m having trouble keeping you apart. If you can’t cope with that I’ll understand. Perhaps if we stopped seeing each other for a while
 
…?’

‘No!’ He startled them both with the vehemence in his voice. ‘No,’ he said more softly, ‘I can’t bear not to see you. I’ll try to be patient for a bit longer.’

Melissa burrowed close to him, inhaling his scent, but all around them she could detect the odour of horse and leather. She wondered if Jake could smell it too, but she didn’t dare ask.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

‘You shouldn’t have come, it’s too dangerous.’

Roger had once again taken the risk of climbing in through Sibell’s window in order to say a lengthy farewell. He put a finger on her mouth and whispered, ‘How could I have stayed away, my sweet? As it is, it will be far too long before I see your lovely face again.’

She needed no urging when his hands sought to free her from her garments, and it was nearly dawn before he reluctantly made his way back to Idenhurst.

‘I’ll return as soon as I can and then we will tell the whole world that we are man and wife,’ he promised.

‘Have a safe journey and may God go with you. And please, I beg you, be careful.’

Sibell watched from within the shelter of the forest as Sir Gilbert and half his men left later that July morning, intent on making their way north with all speed. They were an impressive sight, their weapons gleaming in the sun, the huge horses snorting their impatience to be off.

Her gaze sought out Roger, riding at the front on his massive horse, Snowflake. His euphoria over the proposed journey had been almost tangible, his excitement infectious while he was with her, but now he was gone, her heart was heavy. She knew this was the only way and that he was confident of a positive outcome, but seeing the column of riders disappear in a cloud of dust, she felt utterly alone and defenceless.

There had been rumours that the Earl of March had landed at Sandwich just over a week earlier, together with his fellow earls, Warwick and Salisbury, and their men. Sibell was afraid Roger and the others might be caught up in any fighting which might ensue, although Gilbert had reassured his own wife he wouldn’t do anything foolish.

‘I’m not a hotheaded youth,’ he told her with a smile. ‘And this journey is necessary, you know that. I promise you we’ll keep to smaller tracks and stay out of the way as much as possible.’

Sibell prayed he would keep that promise.

‘Jake, how come you never talk about your wife?’ They were having lunch in a lovely restaurant and Melissa didn’t want him to spoil the day by talking about their future. She’d sensed that he was on the verge of saying something and grasped at this straw to distract him.

‘Karen? Why do you ask?’ Jake frowned slightly.

‘I’m curious. You haven’t been a widower all that long. Surely you must still be grieving?’

He sighed. ‘Will you think me a dreadful person if I say no?’

Melissa looked up and saw pain in his eyes. She reached out across the table and put her hand over his. ‘No, but I’d love to know the reason.’

‘Very well, but it’s a long story.’

‘We have all day.’

He was quiet for a while, before beginning his tale. ‘Well, Karen was very pretty – petite, blonde and vivacious – and when we met I was bowled over. I couldn’t believe my luck when she agreed to go out with me, let alone marry me. We were happy at first. I think I told you that we lived in London, and Karen was a social butterfly, always doing something, always busy. When I was offered the partnership here in a small village practice, however, the endless arguments began.’

‘She didn’t want to move?’

‘No. I persuaded her it was only for a short while, a step up on the career ladder, and that we could return to London eventually. But although she agreed to move, she didn’t believe I would ever go back. Even so, she never made the smallest effort to adapt to living in the country, just went on endless trips up to London and her friends.’ He sighed. ‘Then after Amy was born, she suffered badly from post-natal depression, and things went from bad to worse.’

‘Oh, dear.’

‘Oh, dear, indeed. I tried to help her, honestly I did. I tried to be understanding and patient, hiring nannies and babysitters so she could continue to go to town, but it didn’t work. Giving her a taste of what she was missing only made her want to go back even more. She began to spend more and more time away from home, ignoring poor Amy. It nearly broke my heart.

‘That final evening before her death Karen snapped completely. She was shouting at me, “I can’t stand it any more, I tell you. I’m leaving, and don’t try to stop me. I want a divorce immediately. You’ll be hearing from my lawyers.” There was no way of reasoning with her. I begged her to put up with the country for just a few more months. I couldn’t just leave the practice without giving notice, with old Mr Montgomery, the senior partner, ill and no one else available, but I promised that as soon as things got back to normal, I would look for another job up in London.’

Jake stared into the flame of the candle on the table, his eyes blue pools of sadness. Melissa wanted to take him in her arms and comfort him, but he continued with the rest of his story. ‘“It’s too late, Jake,” Karen said. “Too late for us. Can’t you see? You like it here. Either way, one of us will be unhappy.” Clutching at straws, I asked what was to become of Amy if we divorced. I couldn’t bear to think of losing her. “You can keep her here for the moment. She’ll be fine with the nanny,” Karen told me. I know she loved her daughter and she was probably only saying things like that to annoy me, but I was too upset to argue further.’

Melissa squeezed his hand tightly, feeling his pain as if it were her own. She knew exactly what he had been through, the turmoil and sense of incredulity that things could go so badly wrong. ‘Then what happened?’ she whispered.

‘I knew deep down Karen was right. Our marriage was at an end, had been since the move, really. But then I made the biggest mistake of all – I let her leave before we had a chance to think more rationally. She was in a right state, as was I, and of course I should have stopped her from leaving the house, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. She drove off at great speed without paying attention to her driving. Perhaps that was why she lost control of the car and spun into a tree.’

‘Oh, Jake, you mustn’t blame yourself. It was just as much Karen’s fault, and surely the accident could have been caused by something else?’

‘Maybe, the weather was pretty bad that night, but still
 
…’

‘No, stop it. It’s not your fault and you can’t change things, anyway. You’ve got to put it behind you.’

‘I know it’s time to move on. I’m so glad I met you, perhaps together we can face our demons. What do you say?’

Melissa sighed inwardly. She’d known he would ask eventually and she couldn’t stall him forever.

‘Yes, soon, Jake, soon. Please, just give me a bit more time.’

‘So how was your visit?’ Melissa stirred her tea before taking a cautious sip of the scalding brew and hoped her voice sounded casual. She was consumed with curiosity. It seemed her daughter had had a wonderful time. Jolie had come skipping in through the front door after waving goodbye to her father. Steve, on the other hand, had only nodded curtly before driving off at some speed.

‘Great! Tess and Nell are really sweet, and they liked me a lot. Tess let me feed her, and Daisy says she hardly ever lets anyone other than her mummy do that. When I’m a bit older she’ll let me babysit them, she said.’

‘Really? And how’s your father?’

‘Oh, he’s fine. Do you know, Tess cuddled me and wanted me to play with her. She’s so small and cute.’ A wistful look crept into her eyes. ‘I wish I had brothers and sisters here. It was fun not to be the only child.’

‘Well, now you know it wasn’t so bad you can always go back soon. And here you have Amy. Isn’t she like a sister?’ Melissa resolutely ignored the little voice inside her head which reminded her that if she stopped being so stubborn, the two girls really would be sisters.

Jolie brightened. ‘Yes, of course.’ She was quiet for a while before adding out of the blue, ‘She’s actually really nice, you know.’

‘Who, Amy?’

Jolie giggled. ‘No, Mum, I mean Daisy. She’s very pretty and all that and I could see why Daddy likes her, but she’s also a really nice person. I kind of felt sorry for her, she was a bit washed-out and looked really tired. She said the girls make her exhausted.’

‘I can well believe it,’ Melissa said with feeling. ‘The little one’s only a few weeks old, and the other one can’t be much more than a year-and-a-half, right? I remember it was bad enough with one toddler, never mind a baby as well.’

‘Yes.’ Jolie was thoughtful. ‘It’s funny, Mum, but I didn’t want to like Daisy, even after what you said. I still thought she ruined everything for us, but when I went there and talked to her a little everything seemed different. She said she felt bad about taking Daddy away from us and she was sorry, but she really loves him, even when he makes her mad.’

Melissa smiled. ‘I guess that’s okay then, because I don’t blame her, either, not any more. And you want your dad to be happy, right?’

‘Yes. Maybe he and Daisy and the girls could come and stay with us sometime?’

Melissa choked on a mouthful of tea. ‘Really, Jolie, I don’t think so. I’m supposed to hate her for stealing my husband.’ Her protest sounded half-hearted, even to herself. It was strange, but the idea of having her ex-husband’s partner for a visit didn’t really sound as outrageous to her as it would have done a year ago. However, even though Daisy may not be the grasping, voracious man-eater Melissa had at first imagined, having her to stay might be taking things a bit too far.

Jolie grinned. ‘But you don’t, do you?’

‘No, but that doesn’t mean I want to be friends with her.’

‘Why not? I’m sure you’d like her, you know.’

‘Well, maybe, but I think it would be better if we didn’t have them to stay quite yet. Perhaps in a year or so.’

In the days that followed she once again put her fee-paying work to one side and embarked on a frantic search for Roger or any mention of either Ashleigh, Idenhurst or the Presseille family. The thought of Jake’s marriage proposal spurred her on and there was also a new sense of urgency within her, as if Roger had upped the pressure somehow. She enlisted the help of Colin, Jenny and a colleague who worked mainly in the counties north of London, but without much success.

They did find Sir Gilbert Presseille mentioned in an old document dealing with the battle of Northampton, which took place on the tenth of July 1460. The Earl of March, York’s son, was victorious and the document mentioned some of the men to whom he owed gratitude for this feat. Sir Gilbert was one such.

‘What was he doing all the way up there? Northampton is miles from here. Do you think he was a Yorkist all along?’

‘It’s possible. A lot of the people of Kent appear to have been on the Duke’s side, but it could have been a last-minute decision. Guess we’ll never know.’

‘Oh, this has to be the most infuriating case I’ve ever worked on,’ Melissa grumbled. Unfortunately, it was also the most important one and she couldn’t let it rest, even though it seemed the trail ended there.

‘There has to be something else, there just has to be.’