The Shore of Women (55 page)

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Authors: Pamela Sargent

Tags: #Fiction, #Science Fiction, #General

BOOK: The Shore of Women
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“Is that what has happened here? Did afflictions come upon their young ones because of that?”

She shook her head. “I’m not sure, but they’re all descendants of the same mother, and they’ve been inbreeding ever since. It means more of a chance for defects to show up in their children, and there’s no way to prevent that out here. They’re all related. That’s why they look alike. Their gene pool is too small.” She used other words then, both in the lake language and her own speech, and at last I understood that there was an illness of some sort in the seed of these men and women that had weakened their children.

“Is there a way to heal them?” I asked.

“Not here. No wonder they’re so happy to see us, although they don’t know why. We mean new genes.” She sighed. “What kind of refuge is this? It might be better to force my child from me now.”

“No, Birana. These women have had their children and have lived. They must know how to help you, and this band has welcomed us peacefully. We would be safe.” I looked up at Tern’s band. The men stroked their beards as they watched us. The women smiled.

“And what kind of life will we have? What kind of life would the child have if it lives?”

“You wanted a refuge. You have found it—a place where men live with women. There is nowhere left for us to go. We must stay for a time at least, until…” I took her hand. “I curse myself for what I have brought upon you. A time may come when we can seek out other lands, but we must stay in this camp for now.”

“You’re right. I suppose I should be grateful even to have found this much.”

I wanted to hold her, comfort her somehow. We walked back to the fire; Tern gazed up at me hopefully. “Birana and I have decided,” I said, “but there is a question I would ask. Children have come to you. Can these women aid another when a child comes from her?”

The women giggled. “We aid one another,” one of the older women replied. “We know of birthing.”

Tern glared at her; she lowered her head. “That is women’s business,” he said. “Why do you ask this, Arvil?”

“I ask it because Birana carries a child inside her now.” I paused. “If she can be helped, we will stay with you.”

Tern jumped to his feet. Joy glowed in the faces of the others. “We are truly blessed,” he shouted as he grasped my shoulders. “Welcome, friend.”

We feasted with the band that afternoon. Although Tern asked me about my travels, I told him only that Birana had appeared to me in a shrine, that we had traveled and found shelter with bands of men before finding our way to the sea. Tern and his men seemed satisfied with that and showed little curiosity about what lay west. Their land was here, and other regions were only places of danger, lands where men raised their hands against other men and where the minions of the Lady ruled. No awe of the Lady lived in the souls of these men, who gestured angrily whenever I spoke Her name.

In the evening, the women carried off what was left of the feast. I rose to help them, but Tern motioned to me to sit. One of the women came to Birana and then said, “You will come with me to our house.”

Birana walked toward the dwelling. I was about to follow when Tern touched my arm. “She will live with the women. You will dwell in our house.”

“We have spent our nights together at the same hearth.”

“When you wish a night with her, you may join her there.” The leader pointed at the small hut near the trees. “And if you wish one of the others…”

The other men grinned. I was wary, unsure of their customs. Birana disappeared inside the women’s dwelling. “I am content with Birana,” I said.

Skua chuckled while the two boys dug their elbows into each other’s sides. “Your seed grows in her now,” Skua said. “Should it also take root in another, it can only mean new life for our band.”

I wondered what the women would say to that but held my tongue. “There is a story I didn’t tell you before,” Tern said in a low voice. By now, I was more used to his speech even when he spoke more rapidly. He glanced at the women’s dwelling, then leaned closer. “You are not the first stranger who has come here. Some time ago, when I was a boy no older than young Pelican here, a man was found not far from this camp. He was injured, but those who found him carried him back here in the hope that he might live and provide his seed. He died not long after of his wound, and although the band grieved, perhaps it was just as well. You see, he was still under the Lady’s power. When he saw the women in this camp, he spoke strange words to them, addressed them as beings who were set here to rule over him. Such things are not good for women to hear.”

My neck prickled. “So men are taught in other places,” I said. “The Lady has great power.”

“But we know the truth. We learned it long ago. The minions of the Lady cloak their weakness with guile and magic; but, stripped of it, they are no more than we. You must also have learned this truth from your companion.”

“Birana has told me some truths,” I admitted.

“And you have lain with her and know that a child is in her, so you know her true nature. You must have come from a place where the Lady rules over men or she could not have shown herself to you, but you’ve seen the truth now. You know that what you once believed is a lie, but though you do not bow before the woman you led here, there is awe in you still. You hover over her. You allow her to speak when she should be silent.”

My anger nearly burst from me. “I am her friend,” I said steadily, “as she is mine. She doesn’t rule me and I do not rule her. It is not my place to command her.”

“It is your place,” Gull muttered. “That is the rest of the truth we have learned, the truth the Lady’s minions hide—that it was men who once ruled over her.”

I could no longer control myself. “That is so,” I answered, “and you must also know what came of it—a time of trouble and devastation. I care nothing for who ruled then or who rules now. Birana is my friend, and I will treat her as my friend.”

Tern scowled. “You say you will live among us. You will follow our ways. What will our women think if they see that your companion has power over you? You would make trouble for us.”

I took a breath. I wanted to rise and take Birana from that camp, but even if they let us go, I would only be taking her from those who could help her.

“I shall do my best to abide by your customs,” I said, “and Birana will do the same, but what passes between us when we are alone is our concern. I will treat her kindly. She carries a child. You say your band needs new young ones. You must let us live how we will.”

Tern glanced at the others, but there was little he could say to that. At last he stood up and led me to his dwelling.

I wanted to speak to Birana alone the next day, but the three men had decided to go on a hunt, and I was to hunt with them. I asked if any of the women would come with us.

Gull shook his head. “Women do not hunt.”

“Birana has hunted with me.”

“Women do not hunt,” he insisted. “She carries a child—she should not hunt. When the young ones are small, the women must carry them or keep them close, so it is their work to gather plants and tend the camp. They will smoke or cook what game we bring back.”

It appeared that the women had spoken to Birana about their ways, for as we gathered around the fire for our morning meal, Birana kept her eyes lowered as she helped the women fetch food. I took the food she brought to me, then saw her tightened mouth and the anger in her eyes. “When we are alone,” I murmured quickly in the lake speech, “things will be as they were. I don’t want you to bow to me then.” Her mouth softened a little.

The men, I learned during the days that followed, were companionable enough among themselves, but in the camp with the women, they wore stern faces as they ordered the women about or waited to be served. Hyacinth was carrying Gull’s child, yet he often forced her to stand beside him while he ate, weary as she was from her work and the weight of her belly. Willow, the other young woman, was expected to comb Skua’s hair and beard with the spine of a fish, although he could have groomed himself. Cress and Violet, the older women, dragged heavy loads of wood into the camp, sometimes helped by the boys, Egret and Pelican, but never by the men.

The women gathered plants, fished in the river, went down to the seashore to look for fish and shells, laid away food for the winter, and kept the camp clean. The men hunted, made tools, garments and weapons, and patched the huts. There was work enough for all, but the men accepted the labor of the women as their due while expecting the women to be grateful for what the men provided.

Whenever one of the men wanted to lie with a woman at night, he made a quick gesture toward his groin with his hand and the woman followed him to the small hut. The women gave no sign that they sought this joining or welcomed it, and I never saw one beckon to a man. I soon saw that Gull always lay with Hyacinth, in spite of her large belly, while Skua went to Willow and Tern summoned either Cress or Violet.

It was Tern who explained that each woman could lie with only one man, but that if enough time had passed without his seed taking root inside her, another man could summon her for a while. This was, he told me, so that each man would know where his seed had grown. Thus Tern knew that Pelican, born of Cress, carried Tern’s own seed, while Egret, born of Violet, was Skua’s child.

“Skua has lain with Willow for some time,” Tern told me, “but nothing has come of it.” He shook his head. “Another man will have to try her soon. Egret will be old enough before long.”

“You could try your luck.” I found the words distasteful but was trying to banter with him as the other men did.

Tern was shocked. “That cannot be. My seed gave her life in Cress’s body.” A man, it seemed, could not lie with a woman born of his seed or with a woman who had carried him inside herself. A man could lie with a woman born of the same mother or with one who shared the same father, but only after both had lain with others.

“You see why you are needed,” he said. “Let us hope that others are born to you and Birana.”

I did not reply. To have her endure this ordeal once was painful enough. I could not let her suffer it again. I had wanted to bring her to safety; now I worried about what this band might do to her spirit.

Several days after I had come to the camp, I went to the women’s house and called out to them. Cress came to the entrance and peered out at me.

“I want to see the child Lily,” I said.

“Forgive me for asking this, but what can you want with her?”

“I have learned some healing lore from another man. Perhaps I can help her somehow.”

Cress shook back her graying hair. “There is nothing you can do,” she said, but led me into the hut. Lily sat by the hearthstones weaving a basket of reeds. A tremor passed over her; she dropped the basket as her hands fluttered.

“The man Arvil wishes to see you.” Cress glanced at me suspiciously. “I humbly ask you to be quick about whatever you wish to do. I must gather more wood before dark comes but will not leave her alone with you.”

I sighed. “I mean her no harm.”

“Forgive me for saying this, but I have known men to become roused by young ones not much older, even when they know they cannot be summoned and are too young to bear children. I would ask you if I can wait here.”

“You may wait,” I answered.

She beckoned to the girl, then sat down next to me. Her gold- brown eyes gazed at me directly as I passed my hands over Lily’s small body. Except for the cleft between her legs, her body was like a boy’s.

“It is hard for her to be the only girl-child here,” Cress said. “Already Egret and Pelican try to fondle her.”

“If you made her garments so that she could cover herself, perhaps she would not rouse them.”

The woman shrugged. “When the weather is warm, it is easier for them to run naked. We shall put on garments soon enough. The men don’t like it when the weather grows cold.” She tugged at her loincloth. “They would rather see our bodies and display their own. You should tell Birana that she need not wear so many garments in this season.”

“You should think of your own wants sometime, and not only those of the men.”

Cress pursed her lips. “Birana said that you were not a man like others. You are more different than I thought.”

Lily shuddered again. The tremor passed. “How long has she trembled?” I asked.

“I saw it not long after she was born. She has always been thus. Hyacinth has borne much sorrow—first Lily and then a child who had to die.” She made a sign. “I pray that her next child will be unmarked.”

I felt Lily’s hip. “This hip is not set like the other,” I said. “That’s why she limps. It is as if her leg bone was pulled from its socket.”

“It was hard for her to walk at first. She would fall.”

“Someone injured her. How did it happen?”

Cress was silent.

“Do you know? Can you tell me?”

Cress lowered her eyes. “You must tell me,” I said in the commanding tone the men used.

“When she was born, her foot came through the passage first. I had to pull her out, there was no other way.”

“Tell me more of this, Cress.”

She threw up her hands. “I cannot! You’re a man. I cannot speak of these things to you.”

I patted Lily on the arm and then released her. She crept back to the hearth and sat down, bowing her head. “Then think of me as a healer and not as a man,” I said. “Birana will have a child. I must know that she will be helped and not harmed.”

Cress pulled her hair across her face. “It’s the head of a child that should come through the passage first, but that did not happen with Hyacinth. I did what I could. I did not want to injure the child, but this was all I could do. I swear to you that I’ll do my best to keep Birana’s child from harm.”

“Do what you can for Birana,” I whispered. “If she is harmed, I won’t care about the child.”

Cress cleared her throat. “There is a strong feeling in you for her. It cannot be only your man’s need.” She got to her feet. “You’re an odd man, Arvil. There is a man’s strength in you, and yet you are unlike the others. You listen to my words even when I do not ask permission to speak them. You scrape the hairs from your face even though it is only women and children who have hairless faces.” She shook her head. “And Lily? Can you bring any healing to her?”

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