The Shore (22 page)

He’d rather be outside, anyway, instead of stuffed into some smoky club. More than that, though, he wanted to talk to Avery, to apologize for snapping at her before. She’d only tried to help. It wasn’t her fault.

As the sun set they walked down to the beach with a cooler and sat on the sand drinking and waiting for the show to begin. Despite the warm, calm air, the waves were still big and rough. Now that he was on his second beer, Lucas began to relax. He sat next to Fred, and Polly was next to Avery. So far, Lucas had not been able to catch her eye.

“I wish we could have agreed to have a pre-Battle dinner,” Polly said, her voice laced with disappointed. “I just thought it would be fun, especially since the end of summer is almost here. We could have ended with a dinner just like we started with a dinner.”

“Sort of neatly bookend it, huh?” Lucas asked.

“Exactly!” she said, seeming pleased that at least someone understood the symmetry she had been going for. “I mean, I really don’t see what the big deal is. I’d do most of the legwork.”

“I know how you feel, Polly,” Fred said. “It’s a drag when you’re trying to make someone happy and you’re not appreciated.”

Lucas suspected that Fred wasn’t speaking in general terms.
The remark was aimed at Polly. The cool evening breeze began to pick up. It felt good on his skin and he breathed in deeply.

“It’s a little chilly,” Polly said. “I’m cold, I’m going back to put on something warmer.”

“Do you want me to walk you?” Fred asked, his voice hopeful.

Lucas watched as Polly glanced uncertainly at him and Avery. He sensed she would have enjoyed Fred’s company, but was afraid what others would think.

“Sounds like a nice offer,” Lucas said, to encourage her.

“Well, okay,” Polly said.

Fred smiled broadly and jumped up.

With Fred and Polly gone, it was just him and Avery. Her hair was blowing in the moonlight and she’d had the foresight to wear a sweatshirt. Lucas longed to reach out and touch her. She was looking out at the water. Lucas knew it was time to speak. “You know, they actually make a cute couple.”

Avery nodded, but didn’t say anything. Lucas knew she had other things on her mind.

“I’m sorry I blew up at you before,” he apologized.

“No, you had every right to,” she said. “I could have died out there. Owen, too. I had no business acting like I knew what I was doing. You were right to be mad.”

“No, I wasn’t. You were just trying to do the right thing.”

Avery grew quiet. “Seems like I’m always trying to do the right thing,” she said. “At some point I stopped being a kid and became the ‘right thing’ young woman.”

“About the time your mother died?” he guessed.

She nodded. “I really miss her sometimes. Especially when I realize that I’m sort of stumbling through life with no idea what I’m doing. I used to think I knew. Before this summer, I thought I knew. But something happened here. I know this is going to sound dumb, but this summer the world became a bigger place.”

“I understand,” he said.

“Did that happen for you too?” she asked.

“Well, not in the same way. For me, the world’s been a big place for a while already.”

“Because of your famous economist parents?” Avery asked.

Lucas felt a moment of surprise that she knew, then nodded. It wasn’t so shocking that she’d figured it out. Just like she’d figured out that he worked for Habitat for Humanity. “When I was younger I got dragged around to a lot of international conferences.”

“Must have been exciting,” Avery said wistfully.

“Well, in a kid kind of way,” Lucas allowed. “Like, who gets madder when you push all the buttons in the elevator, the French or the Germans?”

“And the answer is?”

“Both. It’s the Italians who just think it’s cute.”

Avery laughed, and Lucas moved closer and put his arm around her shoulders. She didn’t resist.

“So, have you decided?” she asked.

“Decided what?” he asked.

“If you’re going to do what your parents want you to do,” she said.

Again, she’d caught him by surprise. “Yes, I . . . I think I owe it to them to give it a shot. Then, if I’m not happy, at least they’ll know I tried. What about you? Have you decided?”

She didn’t answer. He could feel her uncertainty and confusion and he wished he could do something to ease it. Her life had not been easy, and he wondered what she would have been like had things been different. Probably the same Avery, but perhaps a little surer of herself. Maybe even sure enough to not feel she needs Curt.

Several moments passed and neither of them said anything.

“Thanks,” she said after a while.

“What for?” he asked.

“Sometimes just sitting quietly is the best thing.”

“Oh yeah, I knew that,” he said, and winked.

She smiled and seemed to relax more. He didn’t know whether she even was thinking of him as anything more than a friend at that moment. He did know that he was going to keep his arm around her as long as she would let him.

From the other side of the pier came a deep boom! Suddenly the sky overhead was filled with light. The initial burst was a cascade of red, white, and blue. More followed, lighting up the night, some with a high-pitched shriek, others fluttering toward the ground like butterflies, and all accompanied by loud booms. Lucas suddenly realized that Polly and Fred hadn’t returned.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Avery breathed, looking upward.

“Sure is,” Lucas said while staring at her.

Slowly she turned her head and her eyes met his. Lucas felt a wave of emotion rise up inside him. “I’m really sorry I yelled at you. It’s just that, you know, I got scared when I thought you might drown.”

“Was that why you were so angry?” she asked softly.

He nodded. And with the sky alight above them, he took her face in his hands and kissed her.

After five minutes at the club, Sabrina was glad April had convinced her to come. The band, Gear Shift, was really good and she found herself moving happily to the music. The dance floor was packed and the crowd around the bar was four deep. Half the people in the place were doing Jell-O shots. She wrinkled her nose. That was so high school.

“He’s over there,” April said, pointing to Owen.

“I wasn’t looking for him,” Sabrina lied, but once her eyes found Owen, they didn’t stray. She knew her feelings about him had changed. It had started when he’d insisted on apologizing for what had happened with the boys. Too many other guys would have tried to come up with excuses, no matter how lame. But Owen had acted like a man, admitting it was his fault and not trying to excuse himself in any way.

And then, when she’d gone to him and admitted she was the one who’d stolen the money, he’d been sincerely forgiving.
She hadn’t been nearly as forgiving about the boys, and she knew Owen could have laid into her if he’d wanted. But he’d resisted in a way that only someone who really cared about her would do.

But still, there was the heavy drinking. She couldn’t abide by that. It was the last big barrier between them. She wanted to see if he’d keep his word and not drink again. More to the point, she was hoping he would.

One of Owen’s friends handed him a Jell-O shot. Before he could down it, though, he turned and caught Sabrina staring at him. She could feel the embarrassment at being caught creep through her, and yet, she returned his gaze for a long moment, almost daring him in her thoughts to put down the Jell-O shot.

April nudged her and whispered in her ear: “He wants you to go over there and tell him not to.”

“No,” Sabrina replied. “He’s a big boy. He should be able to make his own decisions. If he really wants to quit drinking, he’ll quit whether I want him to or not.”

“Maybe he just needs someone to help him, someone to be on his side.”

“And what would happen if I wasn’t there?” Sabrina asked. “I can’t be with him every time he walks into a bar.”

“Maybe not physically, but he’d know you were somewhere thinking about him.” April put her hand on Sabrina’s shoulder. “Do it. Go to him. I know you care, even if you won’t admit it to yourself. Now get your skinny butt over there and help him do the right thing.”

“My butt is not skinny,” Sabrina said.

“Who are you kidding?” April laughed. “You’re going even if I have to kick you over there. Don’t think I can’t.”

Sabrina knew April was only telling her to do what she herself really wanted to do. “Oh, fine.”

She walked over to Owen, the shot still in his hand. Finally she was standing in front of him. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi.”

“So, uh, how can I help you?” he asked. His words may have been slightly mocking, but his eyes were pleading. She knew he wanted something from her.

“April told me to come over,” she said coolly.

“April told you, huh? So it’s not like you actually care whether I drink or not?”

“Do whatever you want,” she heard herself say, but she was thinking, I wish he wouldn’t drink. I think I could really care for him, but he has to prove he can deal with his problem.

He started to lift the cup.

But how will I know what he would choose if I don’t let him know there is a choice? she wondered. She watched the cup as he raised it toward his lips, but before it could touch them, she grabbed his arm, overcome by the emotion she was feeling. “I’m not saying I care.” She could feel tears well up in her eyes.

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m saying maybe you shouldn’t do this.”

He wavered, and even she wasn’t sure that she had said
enough. There had to be something she could say, something she could do to let him know. “Come on,” she urged. “Let’s get out of here.”

He stared at her for a moment before placing the cup on the bar. A smile spread through his lips. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Curt knew that Avery was royally upset with him. She just didn’t understand the pressure he was under. This Battle of the Bands gig was going to decide the fate of Stranger Than Fiction. If his band couldn’t beat a bunch of no-talent local shore bands, then what chance would they have in the real world? The pressure was enormous and it distorted everything he thought and felt. Even if he’d been wrong about Anthony, Avery had to understand that he’d just needed to blow off steam.

He found her in their room, sitting on the edge of the bed looking puffy-eyed. He felt a pang of guilt for having caused it. Not that it was the worse thing he had ever done to her—his thoughts immediately went to April—but picking the fight with Anthony was the worst thing that she knew he’d done to her. She must have really been taking it hard if she was still crying about it.

“Hey, sweetie,” he said.

She looked up, hastily wiping away some tears.

“I got you something,” he said, handing her a box.

“You didn’t have to,” she said, looking up at him with teary eyes.

“Yes, I did.” He sat down next to her on the bed. “I’m sorry I’ve been so preoccupied with the band. And I’m sorry for what I did at the restaurant. That wasn’t cool. I’m just so wired. Everything gets distorted.”

“It’s okay,” she said with a sniff.

“If it was okay, why were you crying?” he asked.

Instead of answering, she opened the box and lifted out a heart-shaped shell pendant on a black cord. He helped her put it around her neck.

“I know this summer hasn’t been easy, Ave,” he said. “I know it hasn’t turned out the way you wanted, and I’ve asked a lot from you. But I really need you now more than ever. The Battle of the Bands is really important to me and it’s almost here. I just need you to be here for me, to support me.”

She nodded, but once again her eyes began to fill with tears. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered, “I love you.”

Avery began to sob.

Avery lay awake listening to the sound of Curt’s breathing. It had grown deeper and slower and she knew that he was asleep. She rolled onto her side and stared at the picture of him on her nightstand that was illuminated by the numbers on her alarm clock. The picture was three years old. She had taken it just a month after they started dating, and two months after her mother had died.

Things had been different then. She had been different—fragile
and broken. Now she was whole again, and saw their relationship differently. It seemed to her that Curt had actually preferred her broken and needy. He obviously didn’t like it when she attempted to be strong and independent, and it was beginning to dawn on her that he’d never really been very good to her. She’d just been too needy in the past to see it.

But just because she no longer needed him the way she used to, was it fair to walk away? Maybe it was no longer a question of her needing him. He’d said he needed her. Things weren’t going the way he wanted for his band. STF wasn’t that good, and even great bands rarely succeeded in the real world. There was little hope for his. Sooner or later he was probably going to crash and the dream was going to die. He would need her then, maybe more than she’d ever needed him. I can’t let him go through that alone. Not after all he did for me when I was the needy one.

Carefully and quietly, she got out of bed. She was thirsty and she needed to think about the future and what she needed to do. Like Lucas had said, the world was a lot bigger than she’d ever imagined. There was a lot more out there than her little town and that junior college that was within commuting distance. She slipped on a robe, crept out the door, and went down the stairs. A single reading light was burning in the living room, but she didn’t pay attention to it. She headed straight for the kitchen and downed two glasses of water, trying to wash the bad taste from her mouth.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw someone come out of the downstairs bathroom and sit on the couch beside the light. So she wasn’t the only person in the house who couldn’t sleep tonight. Avery splashed some water on her face and turned to go back upstairs.

She walked into the living room and glanced at the figure reading on the couch. She stopped short when she saw that it was Lucas and he was staring at her. For a moment, neither of them moved.

Then, slowly, Lucas stood up and crossed to her. He took her hand and led her to the front door, then outside and down the sidewalk toward the beach. The night air was cool and damp. Neither of them spoke a word until they were standing on the beach, underneath the moonlight. There in the darkness, with only the light of the moon and the sound of the waves, they were alone, completely and utterly alone. At last.