She narrowed her eyes. “You don’t seem surprised.”
“I suspected something of the sort although you do hide it well.”
“Thank you.” She paused. “How did you know?”
“Small details, minor things that probably go unnoticed for the most part to most people. But I am a banker and as such, I’m well used to dealing with people whose finances aren’t quite what they want the world to believe.”
She sighed. “Go on.”
“Are you sure?”
“Better to know than not to know, I think.”
“As you wish.” He studied her for a moment. “No woman of means would allow her clothing to be anything other than pristine and your gowns are just a shade worn. Not shabby, mind you, but definitely not perfect.”
She nodded. “And?”
“And your mother has an air of desperation about her that has nothing to do with securing a good marriage for you. And you chafe at any suggestion that your life might not be as it appears.” He leaned closer and met her gaze firmly. “Furthermore, you work entirely too hard for someone who is simply playing at business.”
“Oh.” His comments weren’t at all easy to hear but she couldn’t deny the truth of them. Maybe it was indeed time to set aside her pride and borrow some of Dee’s clothes, at least until she could replenish her own wardrobe. As for the rest of it, there was nothing to be done about her mother although for the first time in a long time this morning her mother had seemed somewhat less tightly laced than usual. “Thank you, Jack. I shall do better in the future.”
“I’m sure you will.” He chuckled. “As for our charade . . .” He reached into his waistcoat pocket and pulled out a small jeweler’s box. “You should probably wear this.”
“Jack!” Her gaze skipped from the box to his eyes and for an instant her heart stuttered at the look she saw. Obviously, she was mistaken. As he’d said, this was only a charade.
“Take it.”
“I couldn’t possibly.”
“Of course you can.” He opened the box, and took out a gold ring adorned with a large opal encircled by diamonds.
“Jack!” She stared at the ring and he slipped it on her finger. “It looks so . . . so . . .” She held out her hand and the diamonds flashed in the light, the opal shimmered like crystal fire. “Perfect.” She fairly sighed the word.
“You don’t think it’s too large? Too pretentious?”
“Goodness, Jack.” She scoffed. “Did your mother teach you nothing? A quality gemstone can never be too large. And, as long as it’s real, it can never be considered pretentious.”
He chuckled. “I bought it this morning and I can assure you, it’s real.”
“Still . . .” Reluctantly, she pulled her gaze away from the flashing brilliance on her hand. “This really wasn’t necessary.”
“If we’re to carry off the deception and fool your mother it is. She might get suspicious if there was no ring, no token of my affection.”
“And God knows what she might do then. At least she has agreed to abide by our request not to say anything until we’re ready to announce our engagement.”
“A lot can happen in five weeks.” A warning sounded in his voice.
“I know.”
“However, I can think of nothing I would like better than to play the role of smitten fiancé.”
“You don’t have to be smitten you know,” she said with a smile. “Attentive will do.”
“I can be both. Besides, being with you is a legitimate reason why I am not with my father.”
“Oh dear.” She drew her brows together. “I hadn’t thought of that. What will you tell your father?”
“The truth, of course. That I am spending time with the enchanting Lady Theodosia in an effort to assist her on matters of a financial nature regarding her . . . hobby.”
“He’s certain to suspect something.”
“Possibly.” Jack shrugged. “But I doubt that he would say anything. I don’t think my father is who we should be concerned about. Should my aunt or my cousins or anyone other than my father learn of this engagement—”
She shuddered. “We’d be trapped.”
He raised a brow.
“Not trapped exactly,” she said quickly. “But it would be extremely difficult to explain. And there would be a certain amount of scandal should our ruse become public.”
“I suppose one never thinks of the possible repercussions when one performs an act of heroism,” he said somberly but laughter lurked in his eyes.
“Obviously one of the downfalls of being a hero.” She cocked her head to one side and considered him. “Still, it does seem to suit you.”
“Yes, indeed. Nothing like a stodgy, straitlaced hero.” He grinned, got to his feet, then offered his hand to help her up.
“You’re not, you know.” She stood up and met his gaze firmly.
“What?” He smiled. “Stodgy and straitlaced or a hero?”
“You certainly aren’t stodgy and straitlaced and in spite of what you’ve said, I don’t think you ever were.” Without thinking, she reached out and straightened his necktie.
He caught her hand and at once she realized how shockingly intimate her gesture was. And realized as well it had seemed completely natural.
“You don’t?” He stared down at her.
A voice in her head urged caution. She had decided upon a course for her life and he played no part in it. Nor did she want him to. They had become friends and friends was all they would be, in spite of dreams late in the night when he was so much more than merely a friend.
“No, I don’t. A man doesn’t change who he is deep down inside. I think stodgy and straitlaced was no more than a chapter in your life you are now moving past. And whether I wished it or not, you were indeed my hero.” That annoying, rational voice of reason faded, overcome by the louder thud of her heart. “And I suspect, if we were truly to be married . . .” Her gaze locked with his. “You always would be.”
Chapter Fourteen
One week later,
The residence of Lady Hargate . . .
“I have a confession to make.” Jack smiled down at Theodosia in the foyer of his cousin’s house where he was just about to quite properly take his leave.
“Oh good, another confession.” Theodosia grinned up at him. “I have grown quite fond of your confessions.”
“Have you?” His brow rose. “I wasn’t aware I had made enough confessions for you to have grown fond of them.”
“You, Jackson Channing, are a veritable treasure trove of secrets all waiting for you to confess. Or . . .” A wicked smile lurked in her eyes. “For me to uncover.”
“I suspect we all have secrets, Theodosia. Even you.”
“Oh my, yes, Jack.” She pulled off her gloves and tossed them onto the table by the front door. “I too am filled with secrets just waiting to be revealed. Although, as you are the one confessing at the moment, I shall say no more. I will only tell you that my secrets are extraordinarily ordinary.”
“I can’t imagine anything about you being ordinary,” he said in an overly gallant manner, even if it was nothing but the truth.
At his insistence, he and Theodosia had seen each other every afternoon for the past week, with the exception of two days when she was preparing for a party for Lady Someone-or-Other. After all, if they were to play the part of a happily engaged couple, they should make a good show of it. They agreed afternoons were best for their purposes. If they appeared together in the evening, there was bound to be talk about the two of them. What had begun for her mother’s benefit had evolved into something entirely different, even if Jack wasn’t sure exactly what that was. They were friends certainly but beyond that . . .
“Now then, your confession?”
The problem was he wasn’t sure what he wanted them to be. But with every passing day he was more and more convinced a mere friendship with the lovely Theodosia Winslow would soon not be nearly enough.
“I would never want my father to know this.” He lowered his voice in a confidential manner. “But seeing the sights of London with you has been far more enjoyable than seeing them with him.”
“You’re right,” she said solemnly but her eyes twinkled. “The colonel would be most humiliated to know that he has failed as a tour guide.”
“I wouldn’t say failed exactly. He is extremely knowledgeable about history and the significance of assorted monuments and statues as well as the architectural influences on nearly every important structure in the city. You, on the other hand . . .” He shook his head in a chiding manner. “I didn’t want to say it but you might want to brush up on your knowledge of the important sights of London.”
“I can’t believe you would make such a comment.” She gasped in mock indignation and pulled off her cloak, absently handing it to the new footman. “Why, I’ve shown you all sorts of things most visitors to London never so much as hear about.”
“I suspect there’s a reason for that.”
She ignored him. “Tell me, Mr. Channing, did I or did I not point out to you the very fountain where a marchioness and her friends, who really should have known better, frolicked wearing little more than their underpinnings to win a wager?”
“Indeed you did.”
“And did I not indicate the gallery window where a highly provocative painting of a duke, sans clothing and dignity, was displayed albeit with appropriate draping?”
He nodded. “You did.”
“And did I not show you the public corner where a well-known opera singer declared his love in song for a long-married countess? Or the bookstore where a famous poet threatened to shoot himself if the object of his affections—and his poetry—did not return his love?” She paused. “Although admittedly, he wasn’t nearly as famous before his public declaration of affection and threat of suicide as he was after. I have always been rather surprised that any number of little-known poets didn’t try their hand at spectacular yet stupid similar feats simply to increase their notoriety.”
“All right, you win. Again.” He laughed. “A tour of the scandalous sights of the city was every bit as interesting as the more usual places.”
Her brow arched upward. “Only every bit?”
“I stand corrected.” He grinned. “Anything of prurient interest is always far more intriguing than, well, than anything else.”
“You are a wicked man, Mr. Channing.”
“Thank you, Lady Theodosia. I suspect you have a distinct wicked streak as well.”
“Simply one of my secrets,” she said in a lofty manner. “Yet another is that I can be quite persistent.”
“That’s really not a secret.”
“You must admit, places of mild notoriety have not been the sum of our sightseeing. Didn’t we also go to the Crystal Palace? As well as the Grosvenor and the Society of Lady Artists galleries? Did we not climb to the top of St. Paul’s?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Well?”
“And don’t forget the Tower of London and Soane’s Museum.”
“Oh, I would never forget them. Being the excellent tour guide that I am,” she added primly.
“That, my dear Theodosia, is only one of your charms.”
“I know.” She grinned, then shook her head. “I must say, I never imagined how fun it would be to see the sights of my own city through the eyes of someone who has never been here before.”
It had been fun, every minute of it. And informative in ways he never would have expected.
Amidst paintings of pastoral settings or churning, storm-tossed seas at one gallery, he discovered she enjoyed the peace of the country but much preferred the excitement of the city. And he confided there was nothing he liked better than standing on the shore of an ocean and gazing out into forever. At which point she had accused him of being altogether more romantic in nature than any banker had a right to be. At an exhibit of ancient coins, she mentioned that she and her mother had discreetly disposed of nearly all their valuable jewelry. He had then sworn to himself that, at the end of their
engagement,
he would not allow her to return his ring. And he had admitted to her that he had once invested a considerable amount of money in a scheme to raise a sunken Spanish galleon laden with treasure in the West Indies. It was not the sort of responsible investment expected of him, which was precisely why he had never told anyone about it. His revelation only strengthened her charge that he did indeed have a romantic nature.
With every passing day they grew closer and it grew harder to keep in mind that there was nothing real about their relationship except friendship. It was particularly hard when she took his arm and the heat of her body by his side urged him to pull her into his embrace. It was especially difficult when the faint scent of gardenias wafted around him when she leaned close to share an observation and he’d wonder if her lips tasted as good as he remembered. Nor was it easy to remember when they were not together and the vaguest sense of something missing lingered in his mind or possibly in his heart. It was a sensation at once enticing and daunting. And confusing.
“I do believe I have a new appreciation for it all,” she said. “And I thank you for that.”
“Perhaps someday I can return the favor,” he said casually. “Show you everything there is to see in New York.”
“I’d like that.”
“So would I.” He gazed down into her eyes. He should take his leave for the day but each day he was more reluctant to do so. He spent evenings alone with his father at Channing House or at one of his clubs or at some gathering of his father’s friends and acquaintances. She attended to her business pursuits in the evening as well as those social events she was obligated to appear at as part of keeping up the pretense that her father’s death hadn’t changed her financial circumstances.
Today, as he had everyday they’d been together, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her again. He hadn’t done so since the night they had become embroiled in their fake engagement, her mother’s fault entirely. Before Lady Sallwick returned to her own house, she took it upon herself to make certain Delilah’s residence was fully staffed once again. The end result being that, even now, there was a footman in the foyer and a new butler probably lurking just out of sight.
Jack would have given a great deal to be completely alone with Theodosia, if only for a minute. After all, how could he possibly be expected to sort out his feelings if they didn’t have the chance to be by themselves now and then? He tried to ignore the memory of how her lips had felt pressed against his, how her body had molded and melted into his as if they were halves of a never before united whole, as if it was . . . right.
Silly, absurd thoughts, of course. What had gotten into him? They were friends, nothing more.
He cleared his throat. “And what famous or infamous sights of London do you have in store for me tomorrow?”
“I shall have to check our list.” She paused. “I do realize what you’re doing, you know.”
“Aside from fulfilling my responsibilities as a dutiful fiancé?” He shook his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Goodness, Jack, I know your father has taken you to many of the same places we have been together. I know you’re just feigning interest so as not to offend me as I am trying very hard to be an excellent guide.”
He laughed. “And you are succeeding admirably.”
“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, especially since you’re only doing this to keep my mother’s suspicions at bay.” She smiled up at him. “I’m enjoying myself as well. Jack, I—”
“Yes?” he said, trying to hide a distinct note of eagerness in his voice.
She glanced at the footman standing by the door, tactfully pretending not to notice them, and sighed. “Nothing.”
Vague disappointment stabbed him and he forced a pleasant smile. “I shall see you tomorrow then.”
“Tomorrow.” There was a faint hint of wistfulness in her voice. His heart ached in recognition.
“Good day, Theodosia.”
The footman opened the door and Jack stepped over the threshold.
“Good day, Jack.” Theodosia’s voice drifted after him and then the door closed with a firm snap.
Damnation, it seemed he was always saying good-bye to her. And he didn’t like it. Not one bit.
Perhaps, a voice that sounded suspiciously like his father’s murmured in the back of his head, he needed to do something about that. Perhaps he needed to decide if indeed friends was all he wanted them to be. Perhaps he needed to determine exactly why the woman lingered in his mind and in his dreams.
Regardless, he had time. Until he came to England he couldn’t remember ever putting off a decision before. But there was no need to decide anything about the future until the New Year. Between now and then, he could simply enjoy learning about his father’s world and relish the delightful companionship of the charming Theodosia.
Still, even though every day spent in each other’s company drew them closer, there did indeed remain secrets between them.
She never mentioned the fiancé she had referred to once in passing and he never worked up the courage to ask. And he never managed to tell her about Lucy or that he wasn’t sure if he wished to take up the reins of the Earl of Briston and stay in England permanently. Apparently he didn’t have the courage to do that either.
What kind of hero refused to reveal his greatest dilemmas to the woman who was becoming more and more important in his life?
And what kind of fair maiden had secrets?
Teddy smiled at the young footman and made her way up the stairs. It was far better to smile than to succumb to the urge to scream in frustration.
Jack wanted to kiss her, she could see it in his eyes. But the man was far too, well, polite perhaps to simply grab her and do the deed. Which made no sense whatsoever. He’d done it before, after all. Twice! And both times it had been . . . unforgettable.
It wasn’t as if she didn’t want him to kiss her. Surely he realized that. Why, hadn’t she given him every signal imaginable save perhaps throwing herself bodily into his arms? She would do so if it came down to it. Admittedly, there had been no real opportunity. No moment when they weren’t in public or there weren’t servants about. Her mother had seen to that.
No, that really wasn’t fair. Teddy sighed and turned into the parlor. Her mother had, for once, been trying to make Teddy’s life a bit easier. It was both unusual and thoughtful. And touching as well. There had been a time when she and her mother had been quite close. But then Father had died and Teddy’s fiancé had been killed soon after and they had discovered the disastrous state of their finances and, well, Mother had changed. They both had, really. Lady Sallwick and her daughter had once been content and carefree. If they worried about anything at all it was the color of a new gown or which invitation to accept. They never concerned themselves about such things as debt repayment and ledger sheets and bank statements.
Perhaps her mother’s newfound thoughtfulness was because she no longer seemed so frightened. Odd, that Teddy hadn’t realized it before Jack had raised the idea. But Teddy had now lived up to expectations and snagged a future husband who was everything her mother had ever wanted. And was once everything Teddy had ever wanted as well.
She stepped into the parlor and crossed the room to the cabinet where Dee kept her favorite Scottish whisky. Teddy poured a healthy glass and took a long sip. The spirits burned her throat and took her breath away. Her eyes watered and she coughed twice, then drew a deep breath. A liking for good Scottish whisky was, to Teddy’s way of thinking, not an entirely bad thing.
She sank down onto the sofa, her glass in one hand, and studied the opal ring on the other. And what if he did kiss her? Where might that lead? Jack was not the kind of man who would seduce a woman and then not expect her to marry him. And marriage was not what Teddy wanted. Not now.