The Shepard's Agony (12 page)

“
I can’t do this,” h
e said.

His words silenced the laughter and talk going on amongst his brothers and father, who all stopped counting the easy five they’d made to stare at
him
. Including Jacob, who was standing away from their happy group and looking at him with interest.

“
What do you mean you can’t do it? Of course you
can
,” Andrew said, confused and shocked over his declaration.

He shook his head and took a step back. “I’m serious, I’m not killing anyone else.”

He knew what was coming, but it still surprised him every time.

“Check him.”

Shepard was suddenly thrown in the air before he landed on his back with a grunt, Andrew and Allen holding his arms down while Jimmy checked both sides of his neck.

“
I’m not bit! Let me up!” h
e yelled. Struggling against his three brothers proved to be useless as their combined weight made him completely helpless to their search.

He’d been searched many times over the years for similar reasons. It was too unhuman-like to not want to protect his own by abandoning them.

While he was being searched for any of the usual signs, bite marks, fangs, claws, extra hair growth and the like,
Garrett stomped over to Jacob. His fist was ready, but he stood tall. Garrett didn’t strike him.

“
I
swear
, if we find any of your unnatural teeth marks on
him
, I’ll tie you to a tree and leave you there until sun up!”

Jacob bristled at the comment. “I would never do such a thing!”

“I can’t find anything on him!” Jimmy yelled over his shoulder.

“
That’s because I haven’t been bit!” Shepard
hissed
. With Jimmy unable to find
anything
, the twins loosened their grip on
him
. Shepard managed to throw Jimmy off of him by punching him square in the jaw. He hated being searched.

He got to his feet, body tense and fists still clenched, ready to fight anything that came near him.

“
What’s the matter with you, Davey?”
Garrett asked, using the little kid’s name that he despised.

“
S
top treating me like a child!” he yelled. “I’m a grown
man
, and I’m not doing this anymore.”

“But
, why?” Allen
asked
. Shepard turned to look at them,
really
look at them. His brothers were all in their thirties, no wives, no children, no family outside of their little group. He didn’t want that for
himself
; he wanted to settle down and make a living on his own. If they couldn’t see that then he wouldn’t bother explaining it to them.

“
I’m going,”
he said before taking one of the family trucks and driving off with it. While on the
road
, he had the sudden urge to see Gwen, buy her
roses
, and surprise her at the Diner where she worked.

He’d actually done it and it had been easier then he thought it would be. He was out of the
hunting life and could finally make his own decisions. He would make up with Gwen and tell her he wasn’t going anywhere because all he really wanted to do was stay with her.

Gwen saw him standing in the doorway, saw the flower in his hand, and she threw her arms around his neck without finishing the order she’d been taking.

“
I’m not going anywhere,” h
e promised, kissing her again and again while holding her up in the air.

She took the rose he offered her and kissed back, trying to wipe away her tears before he could see them. He wanted to carry her right out of the diner, but knew she probably wouldn’t appreciate that too much.
Even
with the bad lighting, her curly white-blonde hair contained in a hair net,
and
wearing the bright yellow uniform, she never looked more beautiful.

He spent that night with Gwen. Having her long legs wrapped around his waist while he kissed, touched,
stroked
, and licked everywhere that he could had been great. She wouldn't let him touch her everywhere, however, which was probably how he'd missed it until she fell asleep.

Shepard found the crescent moon birthmark on her thigh when she moved her legs, snuggling closer to him in her sleep. He was so sure that he’d mapped every inch of her body when they made love; that he’d kissed and touched her
everywhere
.
Yet
, there it was, the little thing that he’d missed that meant so much. It was beautiful and horrible all at the same time.

It was difficult to keep calm as he held her while she peacefully slept,
naked and helpless. A part of him wanted to run and never come
back
; the part of him that was a coward and still feared werewolves. All it took was one look at her face while she slept,

her hair a halo of blonde curls around her head.

He couldn’t do it, but he also couldn’t stay. He hated that he had to do it, but s
he was obviously a part of the pack that Dianna had told them about. She had to be. Werewolves stuck to the same
area
, and another pack wouldn't allow an intruder to walk around their territory.

He thought of telling her that he knew what she was and that she shouldn’t go to her Moon Night before quickly scratching that idea. How would he explain that he knew? By telling her he was a hunter and that his brothers were going to be attacking soon? Even if she didn’t try to kill him, a revelation like that would be sending his entire family to their graves. Gwen was his first priority. He would go to their Moon Night to keep her safe, nothing
more.

When they did finally
attack
, they did so at sun down instead of the dead of
night
.
They
also came across the lake instead of through the woods like Dianna had planned, catching her and everyone else off guard. Looking back on it, Shepard wished he’d handled it differently. If he had, all those people wouldn’t be dead and maybe Gwen would have trusted him enough to tell him about his condition.

***

“Daddy, please reconsider. Bill, tell him to reconsider!” Gwen was on the verge of a panic attack. They were actually talking about locking David up and questioning him until he died.

No, that wasn’t right, her father wouldn’t do such a thing. What David needed was a bed and enough medication to make the change less painful.
But
, medication of that strength would knock him out cold and they needed him awake to answer their questions. What was worse, they didn’t want her anywhere near him during the questioning or change.

They said they didn’t want to put her through anymore hurt and pain, but she had a sneaking suspicion that it was because they didn’t want anyone supervising to prevent any cruelty.

She didn’t know who would be doing the questioning, probably John and one or two others, and while she didn’t like to think such things about her own pack mates, she had to stop and seriously consider what they might do to a captured hunter. It wasn’t unknown for a wolf or vamp to want brutal revenge.

Bill wheezed a bit through his breathing tube and made a face. Gwen winced at the mental image he was sending
her
; screaming people, children
running
, and himself getting shot by a laughing bounty hunter. He was angry and in no mood to take it easy on David, regardless of whether or not he’d saved her.

To them, he hadn’t saved her at all, but abducted her for her pelt, and nothing she said could make them think otherwise. To think she’d been hoping they would be more understanding about it all.

Still, she had to try. “He can live through it, I know he can! Just let me be with him to help him through it and you can question him after,” she could hear her own voice breaking. Her father could only sigh his sympathy and turn his head away.

“
I
got
bitten five days before the full
moon
…”

Gwen wiped the tears from her cheeks, disgusted with herself. She knew he’d been bitten, but didn’t know it was so close to a full moon.

He turned
back
to
her
. “It was pretty bad, I didn’t think anything was wrong until a few hours before it happened. I got so sick I thought I was going to
die
.
Then
, when it was
over
, I was still sick for days after.” He stared at her hard, trying to deliver a silent
message
. Gwen snarled.

She was furious at the lot of them. Just give it up, forget about him, he was a dead man anyway. That’s what she heard from them and it sickened her.

“
This isn’t about
revenge
,
Gwen
. I know you think it
is
, so don’t look at me like that. It’s about the security of the pack,” Larry said.

“
Someone in your p
ack had to have told them where to
go
,” Evey said. “I know there was a vampire with them, but if I can’t find where you all go every other
month
, no other vamp can. I don’t care how good he is.”

Evey had been brought up to speed in the car ride to the
hospital
. Because of her history with the pack and skills as a vampire, her input was always important.

Larry nodded. “We’ve thought of that and we’ve started going through a list of people we think could’ve done it, starting with the humans in the pack first.”

“Someone in our own pack?” Gwen asked, completely stunned. The thought that there might be a traitor in their midst never occurred to her.

Larry nodded. “It’s bad, I know, which is why we need to question him as soon as possible. We can’t take him back to the city, it’s too
far
. It’ll have to be done back at the cabin.”

Her eyes went
wide
. The thought of going back to where all the deaths had occurred wasn’t appealing, but she schooled herself to appear calm. “Has everything been cleaned up?”

What she really wanted to ask was, h
ad the wounded taken to be seen to? Had the blood been washed away? Had the weapons been picked up and the dead seen to?. She cringed at the thought.

“Everyone who was able stayed behind,” Larry said. “It should be cleaned up by now, but I still haven’t been called about the book.”

“Book?” Gwen asked.

Larry’s face became grave. “The address book.”

“It’s gone?”

Larry nodded and everyone else in the room bowed their heads, their expressions grave.

A chill went up her spine. That book in the wrong hands could hurt so many people, not even her home would be safe. Did David know it was gone? Would he have told her if he did?

“
We don’t know if the hunters found it and took it, but it isn’t where Bill usually keeps it
. Since we can’t find
it
, we can’t take the risk.”

“
Where’s everyone going to go? They can’t all go h
ome,” Gwen said, trying to think of possible solutions to the problem or anyplace the book might be that no one checked. “How could the hunters have found it anyway?” she asked. “It’s locked up, isn’t it?”

Larry nodded. “In Bill’s desk, but the lock wasn’t broken and it wasn’t in there.”

Bill took a wheezing breath to ready himself. “That’
s why we think someone from our side had something to do with this and why it’s important to question the Shepard. Gwen, even if I were to choose to agree with you that he saved you because he didn’t want to see you hurt, it doesn’t make him any less guilty for the things he's done with that family of his,” he spoke
softly
. He had to because of his condition, but his words were like a
blow to
the chest. Evey stared hard at her.

Gwen tried to think of anything that could point the finger away from David. She didn’t want to believe that saving her had more to do with creating a distraction amongst the pack than her actual safety. She wanted to trust him so badly,
but
, the fact of the matter was, she was likely staring at him with rose colored glasses.

Unable to think of a response, Gwen slowly nodded. “Okay. Bill?”

He turned his head slightly.

"You said I can have a few minutes alone with him?"

He managed a weak nod, too exhausted from talking.

That was good, she wanted to tell him herself. When she left the room, she did so with a heavy heart. Evey followed her out,
placing her arms around Gwen’s shoulders when the door was shut behind them. She tried to draw some comfort from her friend, but it was little help.

“
It’ll all work out in the end,
” Evey said.

“How?”

Evey didn’t respond, she just gave her a gentle squeeze and walked off.

“
Thank you,
” Gwen called sarcastically.

Chapter Eight

He knew it was petty, but Shepard was glad the cocky wolf got his ear blown
off
. He hoped it was Allen who did
it
,
too
.
Payback
for all the times he was forced to knock him unconscious. It was something nice and horrible to think about while he leaned against the wall and scratched at the cut on his
arm
; a cut that had begun pulsing painfully some minutes ago.

Then
, his ears perked and his nose twitched. Gwen was coming, he could smell her from down the hall.