The Shadow Queen (19 page)

K
OL WALKED AHEAD
of Gabril, who had the unconscious princess carefully slung over his back as they made their way toward the Silber River that flowed from the western edge of Ravenspire to the eastern reaches of Eldr. Gabril said that Lorelai was going to use the river to keep her promise to help Eldr.

Lorelai.

Not
the girl
. Not
prey
. Not anymore.

Lorelai.

Kol’s mind was finally clear, thank the skies, and though pain still pulsed from Irina’s collar, though his dragon heart still longed for blood, the warm sense of connection he felt to Lorelai, even while she was unconscious, helped him hold the worst of it at bay.

Seconds after Kol had saved Lorelai from hitting the ground as she fainted, Gabril had lifted the princess away from him while warning him that, dragon or no, Kol was dead the second he even
looked
like he was thinking of hurting Lorelai.

Kol couldn’t blame him. If someone had treated Brig the way he’d treated Lorelai, he’d have incinerated them where they stood.

Gabril stumbled as they climbed over a pile of loose gray stones that marked the border of a steep, grass-covered slope. Instantly, Kol pivoted, lunged toward the man, and wrapped his arms around the princess’s waist to keep her from falling.

Gabril found his footing in seconds. “Remove your hands from the princess.” The absolute authority in his voice would put Master Eiler to shame.

Kol steadied Lorelai against Gabril’s back and then slowly stepped away. Her long black hair lifted gently in the wind, and the scent of evergreens and snow made his dragon heart pound mercilessly in his chest, but he tamped it down and concentrated on the pale curve of her cheek, the sweep of dark lashes against her skin.

“If you’re through memorizing the way she looks, I suggest you get in front of me again and start moving. And I swear on my life, if you are leading us into a trap set by Irina, nothing, and I mean
nothing
, will save you from me. Do I make myself clear, son?”

Kol tore his gaze away from Lorelai and nodded respectfully. It was a small miracle Gabril was tolerating his presence at all, especially considering the fact that Kol couldn’t communicate with him.

Not that any of Kol’s current thoughts were worth communicating to Gabril. Not when he was thinking about how desperately he missed his family. How much he longed to fly over Eldr’s craggy landscape and walk the spacious bronze halls
of the castle with Brig at his side. How fast he could wake Lorelai up so she could keep her promise and save Eldr. How he could get his heart back from Irina without losing himself to the torment of her magic again.

Maybe Lorelai would help him with that the way she was helping him with Eldr. Not that he had any right to ask. But she was Irina’s enemy, and so was he. Which meant in a strange way that they were allies. He glanced at Lorelai again and noticed the way her dark lashes lay against the paleness of her skin and the way her red lips parted slightly while she slept.

His heart beat faster, and warmth unfurled in his stomach as he stared at her mouth and imagined thanking the courageous, beautiful princess of Ravenspire with a kiss.

Skies above, he sounded like an
idiot
. Eldr was still falling. Irina still had his heart and a hold on him through the collar around his neck. Lorelai was in terrible danger from Irina, he had no idea where his friends had gone, and his dragon heart kept agreeing with the collar’s whispers that he would never be free until he killed the princess. This was no time to think about kissing a girl. Even one as intriguing as Lorelai.

Apparently, he’d recovered his memories just in time to lose his mind.

When Gabril stumbled again halfway down the slope, going down hard on one knee, Kol raced to his side and lifted the princess from his back. He cradled her against the warmth of the dragon’s fire in his chest, and waited for Gabril to get back up and curtly demand that Kol get his treacherous hands off Lorelai.

Instead, Gabril bowed his head for a moment, breathing
hard, pain bracketing lines around his mouth. Kol looked at the distant line of hornbeam trees that marked the bottom of the slope and pretended he didn’t notice.

Lorelai’s scent stirred his dragon’s heart, and it pounded viciously against his chest. He gritted his teeth and gentled his hold on her. He thought of Brig, trusting him to stay alive and to save Eldr, and of his friends insisting on following him and protecting him because he was their king and their friend.

He thought of Lorelai facing down a boy who deserved to die and choosing to save him instead.

The whispers from the collar urged him to hurt, punish, and kill, but he held fast to the memory of Lorelai’s courage and stood steady.

After a moment, Gabril climbed to his feet, his hand pressing hard against his left leg. He studied Kol, his expression unreadable. Kol tried to look like he wasn’t a threat, and almost wished that Gabril could see into his thoughts the way Lorelai could.

Almost.

Except not the thoughts about kissing Lorelai.

“It’s getting close to nightfall. The last time she healed someone, she was out for two days. We need to find shelter for the night. Obviously we aren’t going to camp in the open like this. If you’re up to it, I’d appreciate you carrying her for a while.” Gabril sounded begrudging, as if he was offering Kol an olive branch but might decide to smack him with it instead.

Kol nodded, and tried hard not to let himself react as Gabril drew his sword.

“You’ll walk in front of me. My sword will be out at all times. If you try to hurt her, I will drop you where you stand.” Gabril
met his eyes. “Lorelai thinks there’s something worth saving in you. Do your best to prove her right.”

Kol adjusted his grip on the princess, tipping her head against his shoulder, careful to avoid having any part of her come in contact with the collar, and then set his sights on the hornbeam trees in the distance. Their thick trunks, low cradles, and profusion of gently twisting branches that stayed low to the ground would provide excellent cover. He jerked his chin toward the trees and looked to see Gabril’s reaction.

The man grunted. “That will probably work. Let’s get moving.”

Kol had taken three steps when Lorelai’s bird dove out of the air where she’d been flying in lazy circles and landed hard on his shoulder, her talons digging into his skin. He glanced at her, and she nipped at his face.

He leaned his face as far away from her as he could, and she slapped the back of his head with her wing.

Kol glanced at Gabril for help.

The man shrugged. “Don’t look at me. That bird answers to Lorelai alone.”

Sasha dug her talons farther into his skin and knocked her wing against his head again.

He glared at her. He was the king of Eldr. A Draconi warrior. He refused to be intimidated by a bird.

She bent her neck and shoved her face into his, matching him glare for glare.

Fine. Maybe he was a little intimidated. Luckily, he no longer had the words to share that humiliating fact with anyone.

Gabril chuckled, and Kol sighed.

They reached the hornbeams as the sun began its western descent. Gabril hovered over a small fire, cooking a simple dinner of beans with chunks of a rabbit Sasha hunted down for them. Kol laid the princess on her bedroll inside the tent he’d helped Gabril erect. Then he settled down on a spare blanket and stared out the tent flap at the darkening sky while he thought of everything that was stacked against him now.

Somehow, he had to get his human heart back from Irina. He had to get this collar off his neck. He had to find his friends and pray that Lorelai woke up in time to help save his kingdom from the ogre invasion. If she didn’t, his people would be gone.

Brig would be gone.

His throat ached at the thought, and even the warmth of the dragon’s fire in his chest couldn’t chase the chill of dread from his skin.

After everything he’d done, every piece of himself he’d sacrificed, he couldn’t bear the thought of failing Brig.

Who is Brig?

He whipped his head toward Lorelai and found her eyes open, though she still looked exhausted.

My sister. I didn’t know you were awake! Gabril said it took you two days to recover last time.

That’s because last time I healed a stubborn old man whose heart refused to obey mine until I used everything I had to overpower it. It’s easier when the person wants the same thing I want. Your dragon heart fought me, but there was enough of
you
left in there to make healing you easier than I expected. Your thoughts seem much clearer now. Congratulations on surpassing the vocabulary of my bird.

Very funny.
The image of Sasha riding his shoulder while
slapping him with her wing and occasionally pecking at his face came unbidden to his mind. Instantly, he tried to think of something else, but it was too late.

She’s protective.
Lorelai sounded amused.

I was carrying you to safety!

Well . . . in all fairness, you did try to kill me.

He felt like she’d heaped burning stones onto his shoulders. It took everything he had to keep his eyes on hers.
I’m so sorry, Lorelai.
I don’t know how to apologize enough for that. Or for being in Nordenberg with Irina. I owe you a debt I can never repay.

You didn’t kill Leo.
She sounded weary
. And I believe you when you tell me Irina twisted her words, forcing you into an agreement you never intended. As for trying to kill me after she took your human heart, it wasn’t you. Not the true you.

You risked your life to save mine. Again.

It’s becoming an annoying habit of mine.
She gave him a smile that suddenly reminded him how red her lips were against the paleness of her cheek.

He refused to pursue that line of thought now that she was inside his mind again. He had better things to think about anyway. Like how soon she could be ready to send a barrier into Eldr. And how long it would take to get there. And maybe—

As long as we’re apologizing, I guess I should say I’m sorry for being aware of your thoughts long before I said anything to you, but—

Wait a minute. How long were you aware?
His mind flashed back to wondering how it might feel to kiss her.

Her mouth dropped open and tiny spots of color bloomed on her cheeks.
I meant I heard you thinking about ogres and Irina and
Brig. I didn’t . . . were you really thinking—

Oh, skies, no. Okay . . . maybe. Just for a minute. I’m a male. We do things like that all the time even when we should be thinking about something else. And I was thinking about other things. Lots of other things. That was just one stray thought out of many.

He was an idiot. He’d never stumbled over his words before with a girl. Never lost his ability to be charming while still keeping his distance from the many girls at the academy who’d wanted to kiss the prince so they could brag about it to their friends afterward.

How many girls have you kissed?
She sounded curious.

The answer seared itself across his brain before he could bury it beneath thoughts of math equations and flight drills.

Seriously? That many? Was there some sort of competition you just had to win?

It was . . . there were a lot of girls at my school.

She rolled her eyes
. Well, keep your lips to yourself. I have more important things to do.

He had more important things to do too. He had a kingdom to save, his heart to retrieve (if Irina had told him the truth about keeping it safe), and a sister who needed her brother to come home.

Grief, raw at the edges and weary in the center, filled him and flooded his thoughts before he could stop it. He was walking down the long hall that led to the throne room again, only this time he knew what waited for him. He was standing in the icy waters of Lake Skyllivreng, but the words he wanted to say to his family were too small to hold what they meant to him. He was kneeling on the platform above the throne room while the
head of the royal council placed his father’s crown on his head and gave him the full responsibility for ruling a nation on its deathbed. And he was being crushed by the weight of it all. He was making decisions out of desperation, sacrificing what was left of himself so that he could do this one thing right. So that he could save Eldr.

Did the cost of Eldr’s salvation have to leave so much wreckage behind?

Her breath caught, and he looked up to find tears in her eyes and an image of her brother—the boy with the irrepressible smile and the reckless light in his eyes—lying quiet as a statue in the meadow outside Nordenberg.

Part of the wreckage.

Leo isn’t part of your wreckage. He’s part of Irina’s.
Her own grief, just as raw as his, struck him hard, and he closed his eyes. Having something that was his alone pulled out of the darkest recesses of his mind and given to her without his permission was infinitely worse than having her see that he’d thought of kissing her. He was absolutely certain she felt the same about the grief that belonged only to her.

I can learn how to block you.
She wasn’t looking at him when he opened his eyes.
That’s why you can’t hear Irina’s thoughts even though her magic has been inside you. She’s touched so many people with her magic that she wouldn’t have a secret thought left if she didn’t block others. Gabril knows how to do it, and he can teach me. We don’t have to be forced into sharing everything like this.

Before he could filter it, he thought of himself, cut off from everyone, trapped with only his dragon heart, a collar whose power was barely held in restraint by Lorelai’s, and the inability
to share his thoughts with anyone at all if Lorelai blocked her mind from his.

She pressed her lips together, and drew in a deep breath, but he already knew what she was going to say before she said it. The truth was in the way her thoughts softened toward him. The compassion that unfurled in the midst of her weariness and grief.