The Shadow Of What Was Lost (58 page)

Havran Das – who hadn’t shown his
face during the entire fight - would have to wait for another day.

Caeden suddenly discovered he was
tired. Exhausted, in fact. The adrenaline was wearing off, and whatever he’d
been doing to slow down time was no longer working. He had to think of what to
do with Karaliene.

She knew, of course. She knew
he’d slipped his Shackle, left the grounds - breaking the only two conditions
she'd set for her hospitality. If he took her back to the palace, she would
have him thrown in a dungeon as soon as she awoke. At the least.

Then he thought of what he’d done,
how easily he’d killed those men. He shivered a little as the reality of it set
in; it had been surreal at the time, almost like he was watching himself do
those things. He hadn’t taken pleasure in it, certainly - but it hadn’t upset
him as he knew it should have, either.

He swallowed. Perhaps he belonged
in a dungeon.

He thought furiously as he
half-walked, half-jogged along the deserted streets. Was there even an
alternative? He couldn’t prevent Karaliene from returning to the palace; one
thing of which he was certain was that he wasn’t capable of kidnapping or
killing her. He was relieved to discover that, though in his current situation
it presented its own series of problems.

In the end, he decided that there
was nothing for it but to return to the palace and accept the consequences.
Even though she had been unconscious for most of the fight, Karaliene would
hopefully feel some sliver of gratitude towards him for saving her. The
prospect seemed slim at this point, but he clung to it.

He made it back to the supply
gate without any issues, relieved to find that it was still unlatched, despite
the princess presumably having used it after him. He shut it properly behind
him, then hid in the bushes until the patrol passed by again, covering
Karaliene’s mouth for fear she would wake up and give him away. Heart pounding
so loud he was worried he wouldn’t hear the guards coming, he made it back
inside without incident.

The trip to Karaliene’s quarters
was trickier. He already knew where to go thanks to Aelric's thorough rundown
of off-limits areas earlier that day - the problem was that there would be
plenty of guards stationed along the hallways leading up to the royal chambers.
Caeden found a safe corner and let Karaliene’s limp body rest against the wall,
flexing his tired shoulder. She was heavier than she looked.

He stared at her for a moment.
She looked strangely peaceful, her hair tousled but still shining in the dim
light.

Then he shook himself. If anyone
found him with her like this, it was unlikely he’d even last until the princess
awoke to explain matters. He needed to get her back to her chambers.

He closed his eyes, taking a
deep, steadying breath. She must have slipped away from her bedroom without
being noticed; none of the guards would have let her wander off alone in the
middle of the night. And, therefore, she must have had a plan to get back in.

He carefully picked her up again,
then found the nearest exit, moving around the outside of the palace until he
was reasonably sure he was below Karaliene’s rooms. They were on the top floor,
but Caeden had remembered seeing a slender set of spiral stairs leading up to
the balcony.

Holding his breath, he started up
them as quickly as he could, praying that the dim starlight was not enough for
anyone to see the shadowy silhouette clambering upward. It was slow, exhausting
progress with the princess over his shoulder, and he felt more exposed the
higher he climbed. His skin crawled, and every moment he expected to hear cries
of alarm.

Finally, though, he gained the
upper balcony, relieved beyond measure to see that one of the windows had been
left ajar. He opened it a little wider and climbed awkwardly through, careful
not to make any noise. There would doubtless be guards posted outside
Karaliene’s quarters; any suspicious sound and they would come rushing in.

He carried Karaliene over to her
bed, laying her gently across it. He held his breath as she started to stir,
but the princess simply rolled over into a more comfortable position, eyes
still shut. Caeden exhaled, then exited through the window again, closing it
until the latch clicked neatly behind him.

He paused for a moment on the
balcony, awestruck by the view. This was the highest accessible point in all of
Ilin Illan; before him the city was laid out like a living map, the outline of
every building discernible in the starlight. Beyond the streets he could see a
ship slipping down the river, visible only thanks to its bobbing lights.

Even with the details obscured by
darkness, it was breathtaking.

But he didn’t dare tarry to enjoy
the sight, especially here where an errant glance from a guard would undo him.
He turned for one last glance at the princess, to ensure she was still
sleeping.

He froze.

Karaliene was sitting up in her
bed, eyes open, staring through the window at him. There was a look of
curiosity on her face, but no alarm.

Caeden didn’t wait for her to cry
out. He fled for the stairs at a dead run, getting to the bottom just ahead of
a patrol. He made it back to his own quarters unseen, out of breath as he
finally shut the door and collapsed onto his bed, heedless of the bloodstains
that marred his clothing. He felt the cold metal of the Shackle press against
his back.

Without hesitation, he reached
around and grabbed it, then placed it against his arm.

Nothing happened.

“It won’t work. You can't put it
on yourself,” came a deep voice.

Caeden leapt to his feet again,
relaxing only a fraction when he saw its owner.

Taeris was standing in the
doorway to the adjoining room. He had evidently been waiting for Caeden's
return; the older man was watching him closely - not fearfully, exactly, but
with an abundance of caution.

Caeden found himself colouring,
and he let the Shackle fall to the ground with a clatter. The full toll of the
night finally crashed down on him, and he sank back onto the bed, holding his
head in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

He truly was. He’d betrayed
Taeris’ trust, hedged his bets so that he didn’t have to choose a side. He
realised now that it was time to make that choice.

Taeris gave him the slightest of
smiles, though his expression was still stern. “You came back. That’s a start.”
He walked over to the bed, seating himself next to Caeden and putting a hand on
his shoulder.

“But it certainly seems we have
much to talk about,” he added quietly.

Caeden watched as Taeris leaned
back, evidently trying to absorb everything he'd just been told.

Caeden had spent the past
half-hour explaining the events of the evening and, to a lesser extent, what
had precipitated them. About how Alaris had contacted him through the dok’en,
had warned him against revealing information to the Gifted. Had warned him to
distrust them completely.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Taeris' expression was more thoughtful than angry.

Caeden looked at the ground.
“Alaris said that if you found out who I truly was, you would kill me.”

The scarred man nodded slowly.
“You were scared.”

Caeden's cheeks burned. “I should
have trusted you,” he said, his voice catching. “I don’t know why I didn’t.
You’ve shown me nothing but kindness and good faith since we met.”

“Trusting someone is one thing,
lad. Trusting them with your life is another entirely. I can't say that this
has made things any easier for us here, but... I understand.” Taeris' tone was
gentle, with only a hint of the frustration he surely must have been feeling.

"Thank-you," said
Caeden softly. He paused, then gave Taeris a cautious glance. "How long
were you waiting?"

"I came as soon as I felt
that Essence blast. Not many of the Gifted around here could have produced
that," Taeris observed dryly. He rubbed his forehead. “The men you fought.
You're certain they were Blind?”

“I think so. They didn’t have the
helmets, but they were wearing black armour. They were a good deal faster than
normal men, too.”

“And yet you killed all five of
them.” Taeris raised an eyebrow.

Caeden hesitated. “I can do what
they do, only… better. And without the armour.”

“You think it’s the armour giving
them these powers?”

“I’m sure of it.” Caeden had already
had some time to think about this. “Slowing your passage through time like that
is an Augur ability; those five men couldn't all have been Augurs. Combine that
with the way their armour absorbed Essence....”

Taeris gave a thoughtful nod.
“And as I said, I felt the blast from here. This is bad, Caeden. Very bad. It
means that even if the Gifted get a chance to fight, we're going to be less
effective than we'd hoped.”

“I know.”

There was silence for a few
seconds, then Taeris began pacing. “The question is - how did they get in? The
city is supposed to be locked down; everyone is being searched as they enter.
Men transporting black armour would certainly have been stopped.” He paused,
frowning. “Unless, of course, they have been here for some time. Waiting.” He
glanced at Caeden. “When did you make contact with Alaris?”

Caeden calculated. “Just after
Deilannis. A month ago, perhaps?”

Taeris nodded to himself. “A week
before the invasion began. Those men could have been sent ahead to help Das
kill you - they could have slipped into the city as recently as a couple of
weeks ago." He stared worriedly into space as another possibility occurred
to him. "Or, they may have been sent ahead for a different purpose
entirely, and Alaris simply took advantage of their presence here."

Caeden swallowed. "A
different purpose... like what?"

"Scouting. Sabotage. Fates
only know." Taeris was silent for a few seconds as he considered it some
more, then shook his head. "Regardless - the Blind are clearly afraid of
you, Caeden. Whatever is locked away in that memory of yours, it's evidently
something they don't want uncovered." He rubbed his chin. "When you
spoke to Alaris, did you tell him where you were going?"

"No." Caeden hesitated,
grimacing as he recalled the conversation. "He knew I was travelling with
Gifted, though. He probably could have guessed where I was headed... but he
couldn't be certain, so maybe Das was the bait. He knew that if I really wanted
answers, I'd have to come here. Sooner rather than later, too, once I heard
about the invasion."

"That sounds like it would
be about right." Taeris bit his lip. "Unless...."

"Unless what?"     

Taeris sighed. "I've been
thinking a lot about the Blind, Caeden, and there's always been something that
hasn't quite made sense. They've never acted like a conquering army, trying to
maintain control of the territory they've gained. And if they were sent by
Aarkein Devaed, why just a thousand men? We know there are at least dar'gaithin
out there as well, so why not send them too - everything he has?"

He leaned forward. "But
think about the timing of all this. If you're such a threat to them... maybe
when Alaris made contact with you and realised that you might get your memories
back, it forced them to act early. The Boundary is weak, but we know it hasn't
collapsed yet, not completely - why not wait until that happens, and send
everything they have at once?" He nodded to himself. "I think...
there's a possibility this entire attack is about you, Caeden. I think they may
have lured you here, and are coming for you before you can remember anything.
While you're vulnerable.”

Caeden felt a chill as he
considered the possibility. “So I'm responsible for even more deaths,” he
observed, his tone heavy.

“No. You can’t think like that.
This has to be a precursor to Devaed’s real attack; the only reason he would
send an advance party like this – giving us warning, time to prepare for
whatever comes after – is if you are somehow a threat to him. Perhaps his
only
threat." Taeris shook his head. "It's only a theory. But if I had to
guess, I would say that he can’t risk you remembering... whatever it is you
know.”

Caeden shifted uncomfortably.
"Even if you're right, I'm not going to be able to remember anything from
a cell," he pointed out. "The princess knows I took off the Shackle,
saw me sneak out. It's only a matter of time before I'm locked up." He
rubbed his forehead, glancing at the door, still half-expecting guards to come
crashing through it at any moment.

“We will have to see how
Karaliene reacts before we make any plans,” Taeris admitted. “If she wants to
clap you in irons, then we will have to adapt. But I suspect she will at least
hear you out - and from everything you’ve told me, there’s a good chance she
will be grateful.”

Caeden gave Taeris a puzzled
look. “Grateful?”

Taeris smiled, looking amused.
“You
did
break her trust, Caeden, but... you also saved her life. You
saved her and brought her back here, when you could have escaped and left her
to her death. You may think what you did was the logical choice, but some
people aren’t as naturally good-hearted as you." He shrugged.
"Growing up here, Karaliene's probably seen more of the selfish side of
human nature than you or I put together. I'm sure that on some level, she’ll appreciate
the sacrifice you made.”

Caeden frowned. He wanted to
believe Taeris, but it had been his fault that Karaliene was in danger in the
first place. Besides, her disapproving glares from earlier that day were too
fresh in his mind for Taeris' words to give him any comfort. “And if she
doesn’t throw me in prison?” he asked.

“Then nothing changes. I keep
pressing Tol Athian to use the memory device, and hope that Karaliene's
contacts are helping our cause in the background.”

Caeden sighed. “So for now, I
just... wait?”

“Yes. If you run then Karaliene
will assume the worst, and this opportunity we've been given here will be for
nothing." Taeris shook his head. "And anyway - if things go badly
with her, we do have a last resort."

Caeden raised an eyebrow.
"Which is?"

Taeris hesitated, then drew a
small, smooth white stone from his pocket.

"I gave Nashrel the other
Travel Stone, back at the Tol. I'm hoping he stored it with the other Vessels
in Tol Athian." He stared at the stone grimly. "It's not charged yet;
I've only been able to use the smallest trickle of Essence here in the palace.
But it should be ready in a couple of days. It was my intention only to use it
if the Blind got too close to Ilin Illan, when there was no longer any chance
of convincing the Council to help. But if you get locked up, we can use it
earlier. Break you out, if need be."

Caeden looked at the white stone
with trepidation. "Won't Tol Athian know we're there if we use it,
though?"

"Oh yes," said Taeris
with an emphatic nod. "The Elders will detect the portal as soon as we
open it inside the Tol - we'll have only minutes to both locate and use the
Vessel that can restore your memories. If that."

"And if the other Travel
Stone is somewhere else in the Tol?"

"Then it will be a short
trip." Taeris slipped the stone back into his pocket with a sigh.
"But there's no benefit to worrying about any of that right now - it may
be an option we'll never have to use. The best thing you can do at the moment
is try to sleep, if you can. Whatever action Karaliene is going to take, it
seems likely at this point that she isn't going to take it until morning.”

Caeden inclined his head.
“Thank-you, for being so understanding about all of this. And... I truly am
sorry for not telling you about Alaris sooner. I know I've caused a lot of
trouble this evening."

"I'm just glad you know
which side you're on, now," said Taeris with a tight smile. He gave Caeden
a slight nod, and slipped out the door.

Caeden stared into space for a
few minutes after he'd gone, lost in thought. Eventually he gave a tired shake
of his head and decided to follow Taeris' advice, lying down on the soft bed
and closing his eyes, trying to ignore the knot of worry in his stomach.

Still, it was a long time before
he could sleep.

***

Caeden yawned.

For a moment he lay in his
comfortable bed, blissfully sleepy, aware that something had happened the
previous night but not quite remembering what.

Then the memories returned and he
sat up straight, any semblance of tiredness gone.

The world outside the open window
was still dark, but Caeden could detect a hint of grey in the black night sky.
It was morning, albeit still before dawn. That was a good sign; he’d
half-expected to be woken sooner by guards with instructions to haul him off to
the dungeons. It seemed the princess had decided against that course of action
– or at least decided to hold off on it.

He rose and dressed, enough time
passing that he was almost beginning to relax when a sharp knock at the door
made him freeze.

“Open up,” came a stern voice
from the other side.

Caeden glanced at the open window
and for a brief, wild moment considered running. He wouldn’t get within a
hundred feet of the wall before being stopped, though.

He walked over to the door and
opened it, trying to look calm.

Outside he was surprised to see
Karaliene herself, flanked by two burly and very displeased-looking guards. Her
arms were crossed and a frown was plastered across her face; even so, the sight
of her made Caeden's heart skip a beat.

Then he took a deep breath,
focusing. This was the
princess
- and she currently held his fate in her
hands. He couldn't afford to let himself be put off-balance, no matter how
lovely she looked.

“Your Highness,” he said
formally, remembering to bow just in time. “How can I help you?”

“You can help me by having a
conversation with me.” Karaliene strode forward, grabbing his arm and steering
him back inside. “In private,” she added with a glare, stopping her two
bodyguards in their tracks. She shut the door in their faces.

Caeden waited for the princess to
take a seat, then sat opposite her, his heart pounding and a heavy feeling in
his stomach. This was it. He tried to tell from Karaliene's face what his
punishment would be, but her expression was inscrutable.

“You snuck out of the palace last
night,” Karaliene observed, her tone flat. "You found a way to remove your
Shackle."

“I did, Your Highness,”
acknowledged Caeden.

Karaliene leaned forward.
"You broke the two conditions I had for allowing you to stay here. The
only
two conditions."

Caeden swallowed. "Yes.
I...." He sighed, not knowing where to begin, what to say. His shoulders
slumped a little. "I apologise, Your Highness. I made a mistake." He
put every ounce of sincerity he had into the statement.

Karaliene watched him for a long
moment, eyes narrowed. She looked... puzzled. As if she had been expecting an
entirely different reaction.

"Were you trying to
run?" she asked. "How did you get out of the Shackle?"

Caeden was silent for a few
seconds, trying to think of how best to explain everything. "I wasn't
running. I planned to come back," he said. "I was told that there was
a man in the city who knew something about my past. I went to visit him, but it
was a trap." He couldn't keep the bitterness from his tone.

Karaliene studied him, looking
sceptical. "And you couldn't have just asked for my permission to see
him?"