The Shadow Of What Was Lost (42 page)

“
What?
” Wirr exploded. He
felt his face grow red with anger. “You’re going to blame
Davian
for
what happened?”

“You asked for the truth,” said
Taeris softly, checking to see none of the others had woken. “My Reserve saved
me, but everyone else died. All at the same time, just dropped to the floor; as
soon as they did I could control my body again. I checked them but there was no
heartbeat, no breath. Nothing. And when I went back to Davian, he’d fallen
unconscious from the loss of blood.

“I had to make a choice, so I
used Essence to save him. That drew the Administrators, and once they saw the
bodies they wanted an explanation.” Taeris shrugged. “I knew what the penalty
was going to be, regardless of how it had happened or who had done it. I was an
old man already, Davian just a child. It was an easy decision to tell them the
lie.”

Wirr felt a chill run down his
spine. “And Davian never remembered?”

“Thank El,” murmured Taeris.
“Knowing him as I came to over the past few weeks, I don’t think he would ever
have forgiven himself if he’d found out.” He leaned forward. “This is important
though, Wirr. I don’t believe he knew what he was doing. The look in his eyes…
it was vacant. Like he wasn’t even really there. I think what he did was from a
pure survival instinct, nothing more.”

Wirr gave a slow, reluctant nod.
"And your scars? What I saw in Thrindar?"

Taeris sighed. "Since that
day... I've been linked to Davian, somehow, and it's as if there's some remnant
of that moment in my mind. I wake up sometimes and I've cut myself. Or I have
the knife in my hand. I never remember any of it, but I've always been able to
sense where Davian is, so it seems likely that there was some sort of
connection still there. After Deilannis...." He grimaced. "It was
like a pressure inside my head disappeared. Now Davian's gone, I don't think
it's going to happen any more."

Wirr processed what Taeris had
told him. It made sense. Davian’s Augur powers had saved him, somehow. Taeris,
believing the boy was meant for something more, had taken the blame.

"You finding us that night
in the forest wasn't a coincidence," he realised.

Taeris shook his head. "I
was
in the area because of Caeden, originally... but when I realised Davian was so
close, I started tracking you. Trying to figure out why you'd come to
Desriel," he admitted. He gestured to his face. "Honestly, I'd hoped
he was there for me. I thought perhaps he was tracking me down so he could
sever the connection. But when I realised he didn't know what had happened,
didn't have control of his Augur abilities... well, he'd been through enough
already. There didn't seem any benefit to adding to the poor lad's
burden."

Wirr was silent for a long time.

"You did the right thing,
Taeris," he said eventually.

Wirr had more questions, and he
knew that Taeris probably had the same for him, but after the revelations of
the evening they were both content to just sit, mulling over what they had
learned. Wirr had been staring into the fire for so long that he started at a
sudden tapping on his shoulder.

It was Aelric. “My turn,” he said
with a tired smile. “Get some rest.”

Wirr tried to sleep, but for a
long time all he could think of was Davian and what Taeris had said. For some
reason, Wirr believed him, though there would be no way of ever proving the
story.

His last thought before he
finally slept was that he wished Davian could have known just how much Taeris
had sacrificed for him.

Asha reclined in the armchair
across from her bed, smiling as she listened to Fessi's idle chatter.

It was late, but for once Asha
didn't mind. She'd arrived back at her rooms to find the youngest of the Augurs
waiting to deliver another vision to her, but it hadn't taken long for the
slightly awkward formalities to turn into a more relaxed, friendly
conversation. They had been talking for a while now; the other girl had an
open, laid-back personality that had put Asha immediately at ease.

Asha hadn't yet read the slip of
paper she'd been given, but from Fessi's demeanour it wasn't urgent. Despite
the hour, Asha hadn't pushed for Fessi to leave so she could look at it,
either. She had no desire to interrupt the first pleasant conversation she'd
had in what seemed like months.

And more than that, it was
helping to keep her mind from what had transpired the previous afternoon.

Between Davian's appearance
yesterday and the ever-looming threat of the Blind - which no-one in the city
yet seemed to be taking seriously - she'd been distracted all day, much to the
chagrin of an obviously frustrated Michal. All she had been able to think about
was Davian. Whether his presence had been a dream, a vision... or real. Whether
he was alive, or whether her subconscious was somehow feeding her false hope.
Every time she had almost convinced herself of one, she began to vacillate.

"So you said it was through
one of your visions that Elocien found Kol?" she asked, before she got
caught up in her own thoughts again.

Fessi nodded. "Several of
them, actually. It wasn't until I saw him drawing Essence from a forge that I
realised why I was Seeing him so often." She hesitated, a smirk and a slight
blush spreading across her face. "Before that, though, a few of the
visions were... interesting."

Asha gave her a quizzical look.
"How so?"

Fessi coughed. "The visions
didn't always show him when he was... appropriately dressed, I suppose you
would say."

Asha stared at her for a moment
in surprise, then laughed.

"Don't tell him I told you
that. I was never able to bring myself to admit it to him."

Asha shook her head in amusement,
then sobered a little as her thoughts turned to the big man. What he'd Seen.
"How
is
Kol?" she asked tentatively. "I know he wasn't
happy when I showed up...."

Fessi made a dismissive gesture.
"He's fine. He knows we needed a Scribe, and he knows Erran wouldn't have
chosen you unless you were absolutely trustworthy, no matter what happened with
the Shadraehin." She shrugged. "He can be a bit of a storm cloud when
you don't know him, to be honest. He doesn't tend to open up to people until
he's known them for a while, and until then, he just comes across as big and
grumbly. But once you get past that... he's a good friend."

Asha raised a questioning eyebrow
at the warmth in Fessi's tone, and the other girl's cheeks reddened a little.
Asha didn't say anything, though.

They sat in silence for a few
seconds, then Asha gestured to the piece of paper on her desk. "So. Is
this anything urgent?"

Fessi sighed. "Not unless
you're worried about me getting a scalding from Trae tomorrow."

Asha grimaced sympathetically;
Trae was the head cook and from what Fessi had previously indicated, not
exactly an affable sort of fellow. In a small way, Fessi's description of him
reminded her a little of Mistress Alita back at Caladel.

She pushed down a sudden wave of
sadness at the thought, but the association with the school had already dragged
Davian to the front of her mind again. For a few seconds, all she could think
about was how he'd looked yesterday. Old. Tired. Scarred and chained.

"Are... you okay?"
Fessi frowned in consternation. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No. It's...." Asha
rubbed her forehead tiredly. "It's nothing."

Fessi's eyes narrowed. "You
may know how to shield yourself now, and I may not have Erran's skill, but I
can tell it's not nothing." The black-haired girl hesitated, then leaned
forward, her expression serious. "Look - I know what it's like, not having
anyone to talk to. Elocien was always too busy for anything more than
debriefing, and I obviously couldn't discuss my visions with Kol or Erran,
either. Honestly, tonight is the first really open conversation I've had in a long
time - and I appreciate that. So if there's any way I can return the favour,
I'm happy to listen."

Asha hesitated. She almost
refused out of instinct, accustomed as she was by now to keeping things to
herself... but she didn't. She liked Fessi, knew the other girl could be
trusted. And Asha hadn't had the opportunity to talk to someone -
really
talk to someone - in a very long time.

She couldn't let Fessi know about
Davian of course; real or not, admitting to anyone that she'd seen him seemed
like a bad idea. But everything leading up to that was another matter.

So Asha slowly, hesitantly told
Fessi about Caladel. About her time in the Tol, about what had happened in the
Sanctuary with Jin and Aelrith and the Shadraehin. It was hard, at times, but
it also felt good to get it off her chest - to be able to share the burdens of
the last couple of months with someone who actually seemed to care.

Fessi listened the entire time in
attentive silence; when Asha had finished, the other girl quietly began
relating her own story. How someone in her own close-knit village had betrayed
her to Administration when they'd realised she was an Augur. How Fessi's family
had refused to even say goodbye to their teenage daughter, who was presumably
being taken away to be executed.

And how terrified she was, every
time she thought of her own death. How she couldn't sleep some nights, knowing
what was coming.

They talked a while longer after
that, but eventually there was a natural break in the conversation and both
girls stood, knowing it was getting into the early hours of the morning. They
exchanged a warm embrace at the door.

"No matter what you went
through before this, Asha, I'm glad you're here now," said Fessi as they
parted.

"As am I," said Asha
with a smile. She meant it.

Once back in her room, Asha
busied herself getting ready for bed. She would only have a few hours until
Michal woke her, but for once the thought didn't make her scowl.

An abrupt knock on the door made
her jump; she shook her head, giving a rueful smile at her own startled
reaction. Fessi must have forgotten something.

She opened the door absently,
barely having time to register the black-veined face behind the fist blurring
towards her.

Everything went black.

***

Asha groaned.

She was lying on her side on a
hard wooden floor; she groaned again as she shifted, her head throbbing. She
slowly forced her eyes open, the eyelid on the left struggling to break free of
the sticky, semi-dried blood that she suspected ran all the way down her face
and neck.

There was light, too bright to
look at initially. A lamp. With an awkward motion, she twisted and rolled into
a seated position against the timber wall. Her hands were tied behind her back,
but she didn't need to check to know she must have a serious gash on her
forehead; aside from the pain, there was a brown circle of blood on the floor
where she'd been lying. She took a deep breath, trying to focus.

The small room was lit only by
the lamp on the table; there was a seat next to that, but otherwise her surroundings
were bare. A door at the far end of the room was shut, and looked solidly made.
It was doubtless locked, but Asha slid herself over to it anyway, levering
herself to her feet and barely managing to get her hands on the doorknob.

She grimaced as it refused to
turn. Just as she'd expected.

She assessed the rest of the
room, forcing herself to stay calm. There was no point in calling out; if she
couldn't hear anyone outside then there was likely no-one around to help. And
she didn't want to draw the attention of whomever had brought her here. This
might be her best, or only, opportunity to find a way out.

She made her way back over to
where she'd started, feeling at her bindings as she went. The knots were tight,
but she thought she might be able to undo them, in time. Whoever had tied them
must have been in a hurry. Or, she hoped, simply careless.

She frowned as she recalled the
man who had attacked her. He had definitely been a Shadow... which more than
suggested that the Shadraehin had become tired of her lack of answers. But
Scyner hadn't struck her as an impatient man, nor did he have any reason to
think she wasn't doing her best to fulfil her side of the bargain. It might
have been taking longer than he had anticipated - but kidnapping her? It didn't
feel right, didn't feel like something he would gain any advantage from.

She heard the scraping of boots
outside the door and quickly lay back down, resting her head back in the tacky
pool of reddish-brown blood. The lock clicked and the door creaked as it swung
open.

"Still out," growled a
deep voice as heavy footsteps clomped into the room. "You shouldn't have
hit her so hard, Teran. Shadraehin won't be happy if he finds out we hurt
her."

"The Shadraehin won't be
happy if he finds out we
touched
her," came the dry response.
"And as for hitting her so hard, I apologise. Next time I'll try and hit
the person I'm trying to knock out with just the right amount of force."
This man sounded sharper, more eloquent. There was a pause, and then he continued,
"Besides, she's awake. Get up, girl. I can see the bloodstain from where
you moved."

Asha hesitated, then rolled into
a sitting position, staring at the two men as calmly as she could.

The man closest to her was Teran,
the one who had hit her. A portly Shadow with a round, cheerful face, he was
the least likely looking kidnapper Asha could have imagined.

The other she recognised from
around the palace, though she had never interacted with him. He was muscular,
thickly built, probably someone who served in a heavy labour capacity.

"Why am I here?" she
asked quietly. Her head still swam a little from the pain, but she did her best
not to show it.

The big man scowled, but Teran
just gave her a slight smile. "Direct. I like that." He grabbed the
chair from beside the table and swung it around so that it faced Asha, then sat
on it. "I think you know why you're here, Ashalia. We very much would like
the information you promised the Shadraehin. The information you
owe
him."

Asha scowled. "As I already
explained to the many messengers you sent - I don't have it yet. The duke
doesn't trust me enough to tell me everything." She shook her head, doing
her best to look irritated rather than scared. "Why would I lie about
this?"

"I don't know,"
admitted Teran. "But we've been keeping an eye on you, and fates take me
if you're not in the Northwarden's inner circle. Fates, he made you a
Representative! You're holding out on us, Ashalia." He leaned forward.
"I'm sure of it."

Asha stared at him steadily.
"Perhaps it would be better if you got the Shadraehin to come down here
himself, clear all of this up." If Davian had been right and the
Shadraehin was actually a woman, these two were evidently unaware.

The big man shifted, looking
uncomfortable, but Teran simply smiled at her. He rose, stepped forward and
casually backhanded her across the face; the force of the blow sent her
reeling, her vision blurring as new pain joined the already pounding ache of
her skull.

"So you overheard us
talking. Congratulations," Teran continued, as if nothing had happened.
"The thing is, Ashalia, the Shadraehin wants us to keep an eye on you
until you hold up your end of the bargain. Which wasn't a problem until the
other day, when he informed us that we were to stay up here and keep watching you
even if this army, these 'Blind', reach the city - that no matter how dangerous
it gets, we are not to go back to the Sanctuary until he has his
information."

His expression twisted. "And
when I can see that you're keeping me here in harm's way, that upsets me. So
you're going to keep your end of the Shadraehin's bargain, or I'll start making
things... unpleasant for you." He leaned forward, touching Asha's cheek
gently.

Asha jerked away, giving Teran a
furious glare.

"We'll give you some time to
think it over," said Teran.

He nodded to the other man and
the two left, locking the door behind them.

Asha swallowed, staring around
the room in desperation, but this inspection revealed no more opportunities for
escape than before. She took a deep breath, trying to order her thoughts. She
was bound, and even if she hadn't been, her chances of overpowering both men
were next to none. She would be missed soon enough at the palace, of course -
but no-one would know where to look for her.

By the time the door opened again,
maybe a half-hour later, she knew what she needed to do.