The Shadow of Death (Psalm 23 Mysteries Book 9) (22 page)

Blessed are Yo
u, who sanctifies Shabbat.”

“Amen,” they said again and Cindy was able to get the word out as well.

Uncle Jacob drank from the cup and then passed it to Jeremiah’s father who drank and passed it along. When it came to Jeremiah he drank and then gave it to her with a slight nod. She hesitantly took a sip. It was wine and she
struggled not to wrinkle her nose at the taste. She passed it to Isaac who took it without a word.

Once everyone had taken a sip of the wine, Jacob pulled a basin toward him. “Now we wash our hands,” Jeremiah told her.

There was a cup of water in front of every person. Jacob picked up his, then held his hands over the empty bowl and poured the water first over one hand then the other. He recited something in Hebrew before drying his hands and passing the bowl.

Each person did as he had.
Cindy glanced at Jeremiah. When it was his turn he said the blessing in English. “Blessed are You, Lord, our God, King of the Universe who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us concerning washing of hands.”

It was Cindy’s turn. She poured water over one hand then the other. “Blessed are You, our God, King of the Universe who has sanctified us and commanded us concerning washing of hands.” She knew she’d left some words out, but it was the best she could do under the circumstances. Jeremiah gave her a smile which made her feel better.

Once they had all washed their hands Jacob uncovered the bread, spoke a short blessing over it, and then broke it into pieces and passed it around so that each had some. Cindy sat with her piece of bread in her hands. She was starving. Being close to all the food when she’d gone for so long without eating was starting to make her a little crazy. She was actually reminded of the Passover dinner at Marie’s house when she and Jeremiah were first getting to know each other. Suddenly the record-breakingly short prayers her father had always said over holiday meals seemed like a really good idea.

“What now?” she whispered.

“Now, my love, we eat.”

“Oh thank heavens,” she breathed.

Jeremiah couldn’t have been more proud of Cindy. She was holding up well under the pressure and the foreignness of it all. It had cost him dearly to tell his family that they were married, perpetuating the lie he had told to Solomon. It had to be done, though.

He had not expected the rest of the family to be at his brother’s home that night. He had hoped it would just be Isaac and his wife, Lily, at home. The presence of his parents, uncle, sister and brother-in-law made things harder and more complicated. It was hard to look at them all. It had been so many years since he had laid eyes on them that when he did he ached inside.

That was the cost of his job and his forced retirement, though. His uncle understood. While he was working for the Mossad he’d had a colleague who would check up on them once in a while, make sure everyone was okay. He hadn’t been there when either of his siblings had gotten married, but a friend had given him all the details. In exchange he had provided information to that friend about his family which he was also staying away from to protect.

When Jeremiah had retired he’d had to give up even that. He couldn’t let his old colleague know where he was or who he was pretending to be so even information about his family had stopped coming to him.

“How long have you been married?” Isaac asked.

“A little less than two weeks,” Jeremiah said. That fit with the time frame he’d told Solomon.

“And how did you meet?” Lily asked Cindy.

Cindy turned and looked at Jeremiah. He smiled at her. “Generalities are fine.”

Cindy nodded then turned to Lily. “I was going into work early in the morning. I was there before anyone else and in the dark I literally tripped over a dead body. I fell and when I realized what I’d tripped over I started screaming. J- Malachi was close by and heard my screams and came to my rescue.”

Lily’s eyes were wide. “That must have been terrible for you.”

“It was, but had it not been for that I might never have met Malachi.”

“Was the dead man your doing?” his father asked him bluntly.

“No, that one was not,” Jeremiah said with dark significance.

“How could you ask such a thing?” his mother said.

“You know what he does for a living. Or, at least, what we think he does for a living.”

Uncle Jacob spoke up. “Please, it is the Shabbat, we should not be discussing business.”

“Very true,” Lily said, clearly struggling to be a good hostess despite everything. “So, was it love at first sight?”

“It was for me. She took some convincing,” Jeremiah said, putting his arm around Cindy’s shoulders and squeezing them.

“At least, that’s what I let him think,” Cindy said with a smile.

Lily laughed. “I like her,” she said spontaneously.

Cindy’s grin widened.

“How do you reconcile the fact that you believe in two different religions?” Ruth asked, her tone openly hostile.

Jeremiah started to speak, but Cindy cut him off. “It pains me, deeply, that Jeremiah doesn’t share all of my beliefs. I’m a Protestant. Judaism is like a grandparent religion to mine. Everything I learn about your religion and culture helps deepen my understanding of the traditions and teachings of mine. It’s been very eye-opening and has led me to deeper faith. I believe there is so much beauty in your traditions that has been lost. I plan on finding ways to reincorporate those traditions, the meanings of things into my own religion and worship. And, I pray every day, that someday, somehow Jeremiah will begin to incorporate some of my beliefs into his as well.”

“But you married him anyway, without him having done so?” Ruth asked, sounding suspicious.

Cindy straightened. “I’d never met a man I could love before I met him. He’s everything I never knew I wanted. I’m alive with him. I’m my best with him. He has taken a shy, terrified girl and turned me into a strong woman. In the end, I couldn’t deny my heart. And I continue to live in hope.”

Jeremiah refused to tear up in front of his family, but at that moment he wanted to. There were so many emotions swirling around in him and there was so much longing and confusion. Cindy had become a good actress, but was she really that good? Was she just making it all up or did she really feel that way about him and the religious differences they had?

There was silence around the table in the wake of Cindy’s speech. Finally his father cleared his throat. “Why have you come here today? It couldn’t have been because you cared that we meet your bride or you would have shown up before the wedding.”

“I did not want to cause so much distress. I came here today because I was desperate. We needed a place to hide and I knew no one would look for us here. As soon as it is safe, we will be on our way. It has never been my intention to put any of you in danger which is why I’ve stayed away. Today I had no choice. The work I am doing right now is important. It will save us all, but not if I get killed before I can finish it. But then, as Uncle Jacob so wisely pointed out, it is Shabbat and we should not be discussing work.”

“Twice now you have said that you have stayed away to protect us,” his mother said. “Yet you have taken a wife. Do you not care to protect her?”

“I have worried about that since the moment I met her. I wanted to free her to live a life of safety without me, but G-d wouldn’t let me.” Cindy needn’t ever know how many times he’d tried to leave including this latest. He continued, his voice catching, “My life has been one of uncertainty for so long. He showed me that it doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing, because she is the only home I need.”

Tears were sparkling in Cindy’s eyes as she looked up at him and her lips were trembling. He reached out and hugged her as best he could. As he pulled away he made a decision.

Coming here had been a bad idea. It was breaking him down emotionally. It wasn’t a response to seeing his family for the first time in years, but rather having to talk about his relationship with Cindy. Everything he had just said was true, but it didn’t help him to maintain his focus on the task at hand.

He stood, hardening himself as he did so. “We should go.”

Cindy quickly shoved another bite of food in her mouth. He knew she was hungry, but it was time. They had gained a few precious minutes hiding here, and now they would go. She stood up and he put his hand on her shoulder, intent on steering her toward the door.

“Please, don’t,” Lily pleaded, standing as well.

Jeremiah met his uncle’s eyes. Jacob gave him a small nod. He understood and did not condemn him. His parents and Ruth were glaring at him. Isaac and Ruth’s husband both kept their eyes down, refusing to look at him.

Jeremiah knew that this was likely the last time he’d see anyone at that table again. He had longed for so many years to be with them, but he realized now that it wasn’t possible. There was too much he could never tell them and only two who would be willing to listen even if they could.

It had been wrong to come here. He never would have if he’d known his parents and Ruth were there. He knew that seeing him had been a shock, one that given time they might have been able to overcome. But there was no future path in which he could come back to them alive. They deserved to know that so they would not be left waiting and wondering. That was Cindy’s greatest fear. That was why she was here with him instead of somewhere safer. He could at least spare his family that misery.

He stood tall. He took hold of his shirt on the left side over his heart. “Father.” He ripped the shirt, symbolizing that the relationship was ended as if by death.

“No!” Lily wailed.

“Mother,” he said, tearing the shirt again.

“How dare you?” Ruth hissed at him.

He grabbed the shirt on the right side and tore it as he said, “Ruth.” He tore it again as he named her husband.

Lily was sobbing. His brother, Isaac, still refused to look up. Uncle Jacob met his gaze with compassion and understanding. Jeremiah could not rend his garment for him. He was about to rend it for Isaac when Lily caught hold of Cindy’s hands.

“You are my sister-in-law. You are my family,” she said, kissing Cindy’s cheeks. “Isaac. Do something; it’s your
brother
. He came to us in need and we must not let him go this way.”

Isaac rose slowly from his chair. He kept his eyes on the ground, but he addressed Jeremiah. “Do not do this thing, Malachi.”

“For your wife’s sake, I will not,” Jeremiah said.

He turned and moved toward the front of the house. Cindy walked with him, quiet, pale, but with her head held high. Just before they reached the door, Uncle Jacob put a hand on each of them. Jeremiah turned. The pain he should be feeling he’d managed to suppress into a little ball and push to the back of his mind. Finality could provide its own kind of relief if you let it.

“This was not about you,” Jacob told Cindy gravely. “You must not let yourself be troubled by it. I wish you and my nephew a lifetime of joy and blessings.”

“Thank you, Uncle,” she murmured before kissing his cheeks.

“It isn’t safe out there. It’s Shabbat, noone will be on the streets except for you and those looking for you.”

“I know.”

“And the clothing we rend in mourning is not to be worn on Shabbat, so you will be even more noticeable.”

Jeremiah nodded. It was the price he was willing to pay.

His uncle swiftly took off his own shirt. “Here, please,” he said.

Jeremiah switched shirts. “Thank you.”

“It is nothing.”

“You can find me?” Jeremiah asked him.

“If I need to then I believe I can. But I don’t intend to need to.”

“Be well,” Jeremiah told him.

The older man nodded sagely.

Jeremiah opened the door and together he and Cindy walked out of his brother’s house. And as he breathed in the air outside he realized just how true what he’d said inside was. Cindy was the only home he had. The only one he needed.

19

As they hurried down the street Cindy was still reeling from shock. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how Jeremiah must be feeling. They moved into a darkened alley and then he stopped and turned to face her.

“I am sorry,” he said.

“You already apologized before we went into the house.”

“I did not realize that my parents would be there. Had I known I never would have taken you into that situation.”

“It’s okay,” she said, trying to smile reassuringly. “My family’s dinners can be really awkward, too.”

He smiled for just a moment, but at least it was something. Then the cold, hard mask slipped back into place again. “Uncle was right. We need to get off the streets.”

“I’m ready for this day to end,” Cindy muttered.

Of all things they ended up in a small, American cafe, one of the few places in town that was not closed for Shabbat.