The Sex Surrogate (17 page)

It
was fucking incredible.

It
was everything everyone had ever told me it was.

And
more.

“Yes,”
the word came out on a moan, and his eyes quickly went up to my face,
apt.

Then
his fingers moved upward, stroking over my painfully sensitive clit.
And I almost jumped off the bed. “Fuck,” he hissed,
watching my face twist, my back arch, as his finger started slow
circles around the sensitive point. “Ava, look at me, babe,”
he urged.

My
eyes drifted to his as his finger moved across my clit and my body
exploded into an unexpected orgasm. “Ah,” I cried out,
shocked, then groaned as my body pulsated hard over and over, my body
going taut, my hand slamming down hard on Chase's shoulder.

Chase
let the orgasm wash over me, fingers stilling. Then as my body
relaxed, his finger started working again. Just like he promised.
“God, you're so fucking beautiful when you come,” he
said, leaning down and taking my lips gently in his.

I
turned slightly toward him, my arm going around his back, kissing him
back with all the amazement I was wrapped up in, wanting him to share
it. And he did, greedily.

He
pulled away, waiting until my eyes slowly opened, then his finger
slid away from my clit, drawing out a frustrated grumble for me.
“Don't worry, you're going to come again,” he said, his
finger pressing against my entrance. Then his finger slid slowly
inside me, making my body jerk.

Because
it had been so long. Honestly, I wasn't sure I had ever really even
e
xperienced
what it felt like to have a finger or... anything
else, inside of me. I was usually too busy trying to calm myself down
to feel anything but my own pounding heart. But, god, it felt good.

“You
with me?” he asked, his finger stilling inside.

I
smiled slightly at him. “Always,” I found myself saying.
Then, seeing the darkness come over his eyes, wished I could suck it
back in. His finger turned inside me, stroking up against the top
wall, finding the spot most men weren't even sure existed and raking
his finger across it. And nothing else mattered but that feeling.

“Oh
my god,” I whimpered, my fingers digging hard into the skin on
his back.

Chase
gave me a small smile. “Does that feel good?” he asked,
knowing damn well it did.

“Yes,”
I cried out, my hips sliding up toward him, wanting more.

But
then he stopped stroking my g-spot and started thrusting fast in and
out of me, making my breath catch, arching up toward his hand, crying
out shamelessly as my body went up up up again. Just when I thought I
couldn't take another second of the torment, his thumb found my clit
as he stroked back over my g-spot and I just.. shattered.

“Chase,”
I cried out, grabbing at him, pulling him toward me as my body
spasmed violently.

“It's
okay. I'm right here. Come baby.”

It
felt like it lasted forever, my body completely beyond my control,
shaking, writhing, being completely consumed in the sensations.

I
came down slowly and Chase's finger moved inside me and I shook my
head at him.

“No?”

“I
can't,” I said, burying my face in his chest because I felt a
sudden, overwhelming urge to cry. Not sob. Not break down. Just...
cry. Because it was just... too much. I couldn't take it.

His
finger slid out of me, his hands moving to stroke me. Down my back.
Down my side. “Baby talk to me,” he urged, one of his
hands slipping into my hair.

But
I couldn't. Because I was concentrating on my very silent little cry,
tilting my face just away from him enough that the tears didn't fall
on his chest.

“Babe?
Ava...” he urged, then shifted, grabbing the side of my face
and forcing it up to look at him. “Oh, sweetheart,” he
murmured, his fingers catching the tears and brushing them away. “Are
these good tears or bad tears?” Not able to find the words, I
turned my head and kissed his hand. “Good tears,” he
concluded, smiling at me. Then he leaned down and kissed my wet
cheeks, kissed my eyes closed, then finally... kissed my lips. Until
all that there was was him and me and the sweet, delicious feeling of
lips trying to consume each other.

A
while later, me laying across his chest like it was the safest place
in the world because, for me, it was, his hand heavy on my back.
“That was fucking amazing,” he said, half to himself.
“I'm serious,” he said, turning to look down at me. “You
did really well tonight.”

I
felt myself force a smile. Force because he just inadvertently
reminded me what we were. Not lovers. Doctor and patient.

“Where
are you going?” he asked, trying to reach for me as I moved off
of him and slipped off the other end of the bed, away from him.

I
didn't answer him because, well, what could I say?

I
need to leave because if I stay, it is only going to blur these lines
even more for me and I am already in so deep I can barely see the
surface anymore?

Yeah,
that wasn't going to work.

I
slipped into my clothes faster than I probably ever had before,
taking a deep breath and looking back toward the bed. But he wasn't
where I left him. He was sitting off the side of the bed, his feet on
the floor, his head in his hands.

“Hey,”
I said, feeling almost worried, “are you okay?”

He
didn't answer for a long moment. “Yup,” he said in a tone
I didn't trust. Then, “So, ya' leaving me?” he asked in a
voice I didn't even consider his. It was odd. Guarded? Distant?
Something like that.

“It's
late,” I guessed. “I have work in the morning.”

“Okay,”
he said, still sitting there, not looking at me. “Thursday.
Seven-thirty.”

Same
cold, dead tone.

“Umm,”
I said, feeling torn. The part of me that needed to protect myself,
needing to leave. The other part, the part that felt too strongly
about Chase to ever want to leave, wanted to know what was wrong. To
go to him. To soothe over his feelings like he did for me. But, I
reminded myself, taking a breath, that wasn't my place. I wasn't his
girlfriend. I was his patient. Nothing more. “Okay,” I
said, my voice numb as I was feeling, “I'll see you then.”

After
the Session

“What
are you doing?” Jake asked, coming in from the gym so drenched
it was actually impressive.

I
saluted him with my spoon, then dug it back into the half gallon of
salted caramel gelato I had stocked the freezer with, completely
wiping out the deli around the corner, on my way home from Chase's
office.

I
was situated on the couch in baggy sweat clothes and a huge gray
men's robe and fluffy purple slippers. My hair was pulled back into
the same messy ponytail I had pulled it into before I went to bed the
night before, at least a third of it sneaking down around my face and
shoulders. “Just catching up on some TV,” I said,
shrugging.

“It's
ten o'clock in the morning.”

“And
that's
what makes on-demand such an awesome invention.”

“It's
not a holiday.”

“Nope.”

“You've
literally never missed a day of work before.”

“That's
true.”

“Oh,
my god. It's like talking to a three year old with ADD,” he
said, throwing his gym bag next to the door. “Are you sick?”

“Nah.”

Well,
maybe a little heart sick. But hell, I wasn't sharing that.

“Are
you having some kind of fucking mental break down? Should I call one
of your shrinks or something?”

“Oh
my god,” I grumbled, pausing my show. “I'm taking a day
off from work, not speaking in tongues.”

“Love,
a normal person taking a day off is considered good for their mental
health. You taking a day off is like the complete opposite.”

“You're
such an ass,” I said, taking another spoonful.

“Alright.
I'm taking a shower and when I get out, you're fucking sharing that
gelato. And then telling me what is wrong with you.”

“I'll
bite your hand off if you try. And good luck getting it out of me,”
I said to his retreating form, turning my show back on.

He
was actually right. I didn't take off from work. Not even when I was
down with a case of pneumonia that threw me for a loop for three
weeks, making me too sick to eat and losing fifteen pounds. I don't
know why I was that way, but I always had been. Every year at school,
I got the award for perfect attendance. That was just how I was.
Always there. Always there on time, usually early.

But,
I had tossed and turned all night long, plagued with dreams about
Chase. Good dreams. Him kissing me, touching me, complimenting me.
Then not so good ones. Ones of him standing there sneering at me
because he found out I liked him. Or out and out telling me I was
never anything but a patient to him.

My
alarm went off like a damn air horn in my head. And I just...
couldn't make myself
get
up. Get dressed. Go to work. Act like I wasn't in a grumpy mood.

So,
I just didn't.

I
called the office to have Shay pick up. “What the fuck do you
mean you're not coming in? Are you dying?”

“No,
Shay.”

“Good,
because even that won't get you out of going out with me Friday. I'm
holding you to that.”

“I
know, Shay.” Actually, I was starting to look forward to it. I
needed something else to focus on. “I'm excited to go
actually,” I admitted, surprising myself. I wasn't the kind of
person who shared information like that.

“Me
too, girl. I am bringing you an outfit because, well, I mean... you
don't own a damn thing appropriate for what I have planned.”

“Please
don't tell me all my bits will be on display.”

“Fuck
yeah they will. Make the men drool so they buy us drinks.”

“I
think you'll be the one making them drool, Shay.”

“Girl,
sometimes I just don't get you. You know you're hot shit, right?”

“If
you say so.”

She
made a weird growling objection noise. “You're hopeless. Look,
I am gonna come to your apartment at like... seven. We'll get all
dolled up, then hit the town. Sound good?”

“Great.”

“Aight.
Have a good fake sick day,” she said, hanging up.

Jake
came to the couch with his own container of my gelato wrapped up in a
kitchen towel. For my sake, he had actually put a shirt on. Which was
new. He stared at the TV until the credits rolled and I got booted
back to the main screen.

“Now
spill.”

“There's
nothing to spill, Jake. Oh,” I said, thinking of Shay, “by
the way, I am having a girl from work over Friday. And you are not,
under and circumstances, going to hit on her.”

“What
do you mean you have a girl from work coming over?” he asked,
looking at me like I had genuinely gone off the deep end.

“I
mean... Shay, a girl I have worked with for years, is going to come
over here on Friday at seven. We are going to get dressed up and then
we are going to go out.”

“Okay.
What the fuck? Seriously. Am I on some hidden fucking camera show?
Did aliens beam you up and steal your body or something?”

I
laughed, shaking my head. “I'm just... branching out. Trying
new things.”

“Damn.
I guess that sex doctor was worth every penny, huh?” At the
mention, I felt myself flinch. Visibly. Hard. “Well, shit..”
he said, watching me.

“So
what do you want to watch next? Another show? A movie?” I
asked, silently pleading for him to let it go.

“You
caught feelings.”

Mother
fucker.

I
should have known better to hope for Jake to have a little mercy. He
wasn't the type.

“I
have not,” I objected, but my voice was too high and squeaky to
hold any authority.