The Seven Devils (YA "New Adult" Romance) (15 page)

I tried to picture what that must be like.

“Is that why you came to me in the cafeteria the first day? Because I was scared?” I asked.

Neil nodded and rubbed my hands between his. “Like I said, I was a little nervous about talking to you, but when I saw you… I just couldn’t leave you there like that. Your thoughts and emotions were almost overwhelming. What I didn’t mention earlier is that I can hear everyone’s thoughts, but yours are particularly strong for me. I can block people out if I want to, which is what I do most of the time or I wouldn’t be able to concentrate. Yours, however, are extremely strong for me. When you are panicked, especially, I can’t help but hear.”

“And that’s how you found me each time Derrick hurt me,” I said.

“Yes. When you’re afraid, it’s like warning bells go off,” he replied.

I nodded and thought it over. “You can read thoughts, project thoughts, read feelings… and project feelings?”

Neil grinned. “If you’re ever having a really bad day, I can cheer you up just by thinking it.”

“Have you ever done that to me?” I asked.

Neil nodded. “In the cafeteria that day, you were terrified as I approached you. I helped calm you.”

I smiled, remembering how much better I felt as soon as he touched me that day. “Now what was five?”

“Five, I can enter and control dreams,” Neil said tentatively.

I was about to ask him to explain when it suddenly hit me. “Are you my wolf?”

Neil nodded. “The first couple of nights you were here, you couldn’t sleep for all of the nightmares of your father. I searched your memories and found the dream you had of the wolf when you were a child and how he comforted you. I assumed his shape and visited you each night so that you would sleep better.”

I didn’t know how to feel. In a way I was sad to know the truth behind my wolf. It felt similar to finding out there was no Santa Claus.

“I’m sorry for fooling you that way,” Neil began. “I wanted to spend time with you but didn’t want to scare you off.”

I nodded. “I understand. So now I know the first five, and I know seven is touching, so what is six?”

“Six is that I can control people,” Neil said simply.

I stared. “Like how exactly?” I asked.

Neil glanced pointedly at my right hand. I followed his look and was startled to see I had my hand raised. “I can have you do things without you even realizing you are doing them. I can also make you decide you hate the taste of cheese or make you believe you left your garage door open when you left the house in the morning,” he explained.

A million different uses for this ability crowded my brain, each more horrible and devious than the last. One stuck out. If he could control my thoughts, my emotions, my actions, how could I know anything I’ve ever felt for him was real?

“No Ellen,” Neil said, wrapping his arms around me. “I would never control you that way. I could make you believe you loved me, but why would I do that? It would bring me no happiness to know I had to make someone like me.”

I was quiet for a long moment and tried to remain calm and think through everything. “So that is all? Those are your seven devils?”

Neil hesitated. “Yes, but I need to tell you more. I need to explain why I am hated.” He ran his hand back through his hair and looked uncomfortable. “The touching… I used it in a good way on you a moment ago. It can also go the other way. I can cause pain. I can… do physical harm.”

“But you wouldn’t do that,” I said. “You’re too good.”

“I haven’t done it intentionally,” he said pointedly. “When I was six I was smaller than the other boys in my class. We were at recess one day and a group of them were picking on me. I was getting more and more angry... I felt as if I was losing control. Suddenly a boy named Stephen ran up and was going to shove me, and I screamed ‘STOP’ at him… and he fell to the ground.”

Neil looked away for a long moment and then continued. “The official cause of death was a hemorrhage in the brain. Later, of course, the parents and teachers all tried to convince the kids that it was an accident and that Stephen had been sick, but the kids all knew the truth. They saw what happened. They knew I killed him.”

I stared at Neil with disbelief. “But you didn’t know,” I said. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened because you didn’t know what was happening.”

Neil nodded. “I still need to be careful now. When I get too angry, it’s easy for me to slip, to lose control. That night in the woods when Derrick was attacking you… I would have killed him if you weren’t there. I felt your fear, your absolute terror, so I ran after you instead of… ending him.”

I shivered as he continued, “I am a monster, Ellen. If I had any sort of conscience I would have kept my distance from you so that you would never be in any danger from me. I just… I love you. I don’t know how to stay away from you.”

I shook my head slowly from side to side and then leaned in to kiss him. “Even devils need love,” I whispered.

“You’re not horrified by me?” he asked, looking into my eyes searchingly.

“Neil, you’ve done nothing since the day we met but prove that you care for me. You were always there, keeping me safe, keeping me happy. So you have some abilities that so-called normal people don’t have… but why would that change how I feel about you?” I asked.

“Ellen,” Neil said, his voice deep with emotion. He pulled me onto his lap and kissed me passionately. “You’re more understanding than I could have dreamed.”

Chapter 17

Neil held me tight against his chest and buried his face in my hair. “I was so worried,” he said softly, rocking us slowly back and forth. “So worried you’d be frightened of me.”

I tried to enjoy the moment, but found that my mind was racing. Suddenly I was full of questions. Neil tensed slightly as he followed my train of thought and moved to face me.

”You… you seemed to hate Hannah’s boyfriend Garret when we met. We left the coffeehouse so quickly. Why?” I asked.

Neil nodded slightly. “There are some things I’d rather not see,” he began. “I’m not going to lie—sometimes it’s fun to hear other people’s secrets. It’s hilarious to know one of the school football stars secretly loves to sing along to Beyonce songs in the shower, that sort of thing. Other times I see things that I would just prefer I could ignore.”

I took a deep breath. “What is it? What about Garret upset you?”

Neil took a long look out the window before answering. “It was painful to be with them. Hannah loves Garret; really loves him. Garret however, just sees her as a girl he’s dating. He is dating another girl at his college and they are getting more and more serious. He’s getting close to deciding to break it off with Hannah while she’s practically planning their wedding.”

“Oh God,” I said, considering what would happen when Garret broke up with Hannah. “She’s so crazy about him. How could he do that to her?”

Neil nodded. “It’s going to get messy. It’s probably for the best that you know so you can be sure to be there for her.”

I could barely begin to think about that when suddenly a thought hit me that nearly knocked the wind right out of me. “Candise,” I said. “Erin said Candise heard voices telling her to go out with you. She’d see your face and have dreams about you.”

I stood up nervously. “Erin also said you controlled other girls. Had them do things for you. Touch you…” I broke off, backing slightly away. “I thought it was all crazy, but now that I know you actually can do these things…”

Neil sat very still and said softly, “Ellen, I know I said you could leave at any time, and I do mean that, but please stay long enough for me to tell you the whole truth about Candi and what happened.”

Tears streamed down my face. “But you can just reach into my head to find out whatever it is I want you to say. Or you can say something ridiculous and then just make me believe it!” I paused for a second and really began sobbing. “You can tell when I say even the slightest lie but I don’t have that power, Neil. How can I trust you’ll tell the truth? How will I ever know for sure this is all real and you’re not fooling me in some way?”

“Ellen,” Neil said, standing, the pain clear in his eyes. “Do you want to go?”

“No,” I cried, “I just want to know the truth. I just want to trust you again.”

Neil approached me and brushed back the tears from my face. I buried my face into his chest and he stroked my back softly. “I have done some things I’m not proud of, and maybe I don’t deserve you. All I can do is promise you that I will tell you the whole truth, always, no matter how bad it may make me look.”

I nodded into his chest and tried to calm down. Experimentally I said, “I need a tissue break,” only in my head, not aloud. I could feel Neill smile as he responded in my mind, “In the bathroom. Take your time.”

I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I blew my nose and washed my face repeatedly. It was an improvement, but you could still tell I had been crying. Before I left the bathroom I sat on the toilet seat for some time, just trying to collect myself. Just because I now knew that Neil could do some things I couldn’t, that didn’t mean I could no longer believe what he told me. I took a deep breath and went back out to the living room.

“Doing okay?” Neil asked, standing to greet me.

I nodded and hugged him. “I’m sorry I freaked out on you, and I’m sorry I said I couldn’t trust you anymore. I know how hard it is for you to tell me all of this. I didn’t mean to make it worse for you.”

Neil pulled back and looked at me. “Don’t be silly. You’re handing this all much better than I expected. Remember I thought you’d be running out of here screaming. It’s a lot to take in. I can understand your reaction completely.” He was quiet for a moment and ran his hands down my arms. “Let’s sit and I’ll tell you everything that happened with Candise,” he said. I nodded and we took a seat on the couch.

“Like I said,” Neil began, “I’m not proud of some of the things I’ve done.” I squeezed his hand softly and he continued. “You have seen what it is like for me in school. There is a mixture of fear and hatred towards me, so I have been completely alone until you moved here. I finally snapped when I was almost sixteen. I was lonely and all I could think about was how perfect my life would be if I only had a girlfriend.”

Neil paused for a moment and looked sheepishly at me. “I had a crush on Candi for quite some time. She was pretty, smart, and popular. One day a big group of girls were in the cafeteria sitting near me and Lexie asked another girl, Tanya, rather loudly whether she would rather kiss me or Guidance Counselor Gregor. Tanya didn’t even hesitate for a moment before answering Gregor. Everyone died laughing except for Candi. She thought I was cute. I tried to talk to her one day in class and she almost died of embarrassment and said something along the lines of, ‘Get away from me you freak!’ I knew she felt guilty for saying it, but she was too afraid of what her friends would think if she was seen talking to me.”

“I became very angry,” Neil said, looking away. “I couldn’t stand being shut out any longer and decided to do something about it.” He looked back into my eyes for a moment and then looked away again, rubbing my hands softly.

“That night I tried to enter her dreams. It was the first time I had ever tried something like that, and it was difficult. She would only get a glimpse of me before I would just disappear. It was very hard to remain solid in such an environment. I did this for several nights and was encouraged by the results. She kept thinking about me, wondering why she was dreaming about me every night. I’d catch her looking my way during class, yet she was too afraid to speak to me in front of the rest of the school.”

“I bumped it up a notch and began sending my thoughts to her during school. We would be in class and she’d suddenly hear ‘Ask Neil out’ repeatedly. At first she was terrified, but after a few days it turned into anger. Finally one day she waited for me after school and pulled me into an empty classroom. She demanded to know what was going on, but I played dumb and acted like I had no idea what she was talking about. I suggested we go out on a date sometime, and at first she resisted, but then I… convinced her to go.”

Neil stopped talking and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. After a few moments he continued, “I made her follow me to a park downtown and we just sat and talked all afternoon. It was wonderful and I couldn’t have been happier, but that evening I realized how horrible it was that I used my abilities to make her go out with me. I vowed not to do anything like that again, and I stuck to that vow. We spent a lot of time together after that, but I never forced her into anything in any way. She kept our relationship a secret, and that hurt me, but I wouldn’t let myself do anything to change it, knowing I’d regret it later. It ended like I said it did. We were seen kissing in a movie theatre and it was all over school the next day. Candi was horrified and denied everything and finally began telling people I made her go out with me. When her dad received a job transfer not long after, she was happy to leave town. I was happy to see her go, too.”

“So you made her go out with you the first time, but never did anything again after that?” I asked.

Neil nodded. “Nothing after that first day.”

“And what have you done to me?” I asked quietly.

Neil looked me in the eyes and said, “I promise you I have never influenced you or swayed you in any way to try to make you go out with me. I am guilty of eavesdropping on you in the forest when you first moved here. It was just… you were so sweet and I couldn’t believe all you had been through. I just wanted to know more about you,” he said apologetically. “I also helped calm you that first day in the cafeteria when you were so frightened. I felt guilty immediately afterwards, afraid that I had done something that might sway your thoughts about me, so I was very cautious afterwards. When I came to you in your dreams, I disguised myself for the same reason. I didn’t want you to love me for what I can do.”

”Are you angry?” he asked me. “Would you like me to take you home?

I shook my head. “I’m not angry. I believe what you said, and I can’t fault you for helping me when I so desperately needed it. This is all just so crazy. Are you the only one who can do this?”

“No, I’m not the only one,” Neil replied. “I have a friend in L.A. He can’t do what I can do, but something similar.”

“I wish I had powers,” I said, smiling. “I’d like to see anyone try to mess with me then,” I said, picturing myself chasing after Derrick with giant electric bolts flying from my hands.

Neil laughed and held me closer. “I’d love to see that.”

“What should we do about him?” I asked.

“I’m not sure, but I don’t want to hear you thinking anymore about how it would be simpler if he would just hit you and get it over with. If he ever lays another finger on you, he’s a dead man,” he said darkly.

I said nothing and thought about how much I hated Derrick and how much trouble he had caused.

”Hey, let’s relax a bit,” Neil said. “It’s too cold to swim, but would you like to go out and sit in the hot tub for awhile?”

I grinned, “Yes!” and raced upstairs to find my swimming suit.

***

We spent the rest of the evening in the hot tub, enjoying a chance to be alone together with nothing to worry about.

“Tell me more,” I said, snuggling close to Neil in the water, “Is there anything else I don’t know about what you can do?”

Neil thought for a bit and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “Well, I believe I mentioned I can hear you very clearly; your thoughts, your emotions. There seem to be variables that I don’t understand. I can hear you much easier than I can say, your brother. You are by far the clearest for me; especially when we have eye contact.” Neil smirked and said, “Derrick unfortunately is one that I can barely get an idea of at all. I used to be glad since I had no desire to hear whatever horrible thoughts go through his mind, but now that he has taken a liking to you, it’s proved inconvenient.”

”Weird,” I said. “I wonder if our minds work in different ways… or if some people are just sort of more closed down and secretive than others.”

“I have no idea,” Neil said. “I’d love to study just that.”

I thought for a while and then shouted, “Oh! Derrick said he had gotten you expelled by telling people you were behind the fight with New Bremen. What happened with that?”

Neil smiled wryly and shook his head. “I was in the principal’s office (Dr. Cheek) and he was going on about how he always knew I was up to something and now he had proof and witnesses and how I’d never step foot into the school again. I was getting pretty pissed but then suddenly felt you get nervous and saw in your mind that Derrick had been looking into your classroom for you and now I wasn’t there for you.”

“So what did you do? How did you get out of there so quickly?”

“I told him I had been at the new coffee shop in town, Grounds for Thought, all evening and that his secretary, Ms. Stein, had seen me there.”

“But I didn’t see Ms. Stein there that night… and we only stayed for a few minutes.”

Neil smiled. “Exactly, but that’s not what Ms. Stein suddenly remembered. The principal called her in and she went on and on about the great coffee and atmosphere there, and how she and her husband spent almost all night, as did we. She assured Dr. Cheek that our tables were adjacent to each other and we shared good conversation and a plate of cookies and that there was no way I had been at that fight.”

I shook my head in awe. “That’s a really handy gift you have there.”

It was getting rather late and I tried my best to stifle a yawn. Neil chuckled and stroked my cheek. “Another thing I didn’t mention earlier is that I don’t seem to need to sleep much anymore. I don’t know where all this stamina came from; I just seem to be able to keep going and going without any ill effects. You, however,” he said pulling me into his lap, “need to get some rest.”