Authors: Suzette Hollingsworth
* * * *
He felt the life draining out of him.
If she were not with him, he had no life. It was the outcome he had expected, but there must have been some glimmer of hope, because he suddenly felt as if he could not stand.
“Of course, you could have sung for our guests at the royal palace. But that is not the same as singing professionally and working with the finest composers of the day. I see that now.” He strove to balance himself and managed to find his voice. “There is the Teatro Real behind the palace, quite a fine opera house, but La Scala in Italy is the most famous opera house in the world.”
“I have always dreamed of singing at La Scala
.
”
“Did you ever think, my love, that you might stay in Italy for half the year and then return to España? I could vacation several weeks out of the year in Italy.” Why was he rambling? All hope was gone from his life, and suddenly he was a blithering idiot. He forced a smile.
“I have never believed in doing anything halfway.”
“I am well aware that being on the professional circuit is not the same as singing for royal assemblies, private parties, and world courts.”
“No, not at all the same,” she agreed.
“Being king is a full-time job as well, requiring everything I have to give. I should have known.” He turned away from her for a moment.
“No, Alejandro, you don’t understand.” She took her hand and placed it against his cheek. “You have never understood me.”
That was the bloody truth
.
“What is it,
mi cielito
?” he asked. He only had these next few days with her. Whatever it was, he would make it right.
“You have always second-guessed me from the moment of our meeting, Alejandro, assuming that you understood my character. You never have. When will you learn to ask me what I am about instead of telling me?”
“I am sorry,
mi vida
. Please forgive me. What do you wish to tell me?” He searched her face.
“I only wish to be your wife, Alejandro,” she whispered, her expression joyful. “But I will be your queen as well to the best of my ability.”
“You will
marry
me?” The king of Spain fell to his knees and took both her hands, kissing them.
“I do not know how long I will have with you, Alejandro. Maybe a day, maybe forty years.” She nodded, her eyes glistening. “But I cannot bear to be apart from you, to not enjoy whatever time life might grant me. I have never refused a gift from the heavens, and I won’t start now. I will live every day to the fullest, and I will live it with you, the most amazing man I have ever known.”
He looked up at her, unable to believe her words, feeling his heart might burst from joy. He returned to his feet, taking her into his arms and kissing her with all the
amour
he felt, holding her tightly against his body, afraid to let her go. After he had thoroughly kissed her, giving her some inkling of what was yet to come, he pulled her to sit beside him on the couch, taking her hands in his.
Why am I fooling myself?
Suddenly his heart fell. If she were not happy, it would slowly destroy him, and she could never be happy without her singing career.
“And what about your operatic dreams, Nicolette? You must pursue them. You will sing at La Scala, I will join you there for some weeks, and then we will return home to España. You have worked all your life for this end. There can be no other solution.” He forced a smile. Six months of heaven out of the year was far more than he had ever hoped for.
“You are yet again telling me what I need, Your Majesty. Which I am very well able to ascertain for myself.” She laughed, her glistening coal-black hair falling loose around her shoulders and her aquamarine eyes almost swallowing him whole.
“Of course you are. But I don’t understand how…”
“It has never been about the fame for me. You never understood that, Alejandro. It has been about giving to my audience, sharing something of the divine.
Being in the divine
. I simply needed an audience to meet those ends.”
“Yes, of course you do,” he murmured.
“I will have a different audience in Spain with different needs but an audience nonetheless. I will not draw on the same talents as queen. I will have to learn once again what the audience needs from me and what it is within my power to give. You will help to teach me our purpose, and we will work toward that goal together.”
“The Teatro Real is a magnificent opera house,” Alejandro considered. “We will import the world’s finest opera singers, and España shall build a name for herself.”
“No, I will never sing for the public again.” She shook her head. But rather than sadness, there was a light in her eyes, and her entire expression glowed.
“What are you saying, Nicolette?” He stood up suddenly, not believing what he was hearing. He must not have heard her correctly.
“Unless you are present, my love.”
“Whatever do you mean, Nicolette?” He had never been more baffled in his life. He returned to sit beside her, studying her face. He swallowed hard, feeling amazed and confused not with pain but with hope. “What are you telling me?”
“Henceforth
, I shall only sing for you
, Alejandro.” She smiled up at him, her eyes more beautiful than he had ever remembered.
“No one else will hear you sing? No one…but
me
?” he asked, not believing what he was hearing.
“I will sing for your private parties, for your gatherings, for your purposes. But my heart will only be for you.” A slow smile formed on her lips, and he knew that she was serious. “I shall never sing again unless you are present in my audience, Alejandro. Because I will only sing for
you
.”
He stared at her, stunned and confused. Her sacrifice…her love…everything that she was. “You are doing this for
España
?” he muttered, knowing this wasn’t it but searching wildly for an explanation for this behavior that was so contrary to everything he knew about her.
“No, Alejandro. For
you
, only for you.” She laughed, watching him, as she moved to close the space between them. She was so near that her breath mixed with his. She shrugged and then ran her finger along his lips, as if memorizing them. “I am sure that I will come to love Spain. I will love all that you love. And when I sing, it will be a great treat to receive a private concert from the queen of Spain. I will use my gift to truly serve the people of Spain. Once a year we will have a festival, invite great singers, and put on operas for the people of Spain. But only if you are present in the audience.”
“Why? Why would you do this for me, Nicolette?” he managed to ask.
“Because my heart is one with music.
And I give my heart to you
.”
In an instant, he felt surrounded by love. He was wrapped in it, caressed by it, and he knew what it was to be loved and to be given
everything
.
If this woman, this incredible woman, loved him so thoroughly, he must count for something. He must exist. He was no longer invisible to himself.
“
Mi vida,
it would break my heart if I broke yours
.” He took her by the shoulders. “It would be a travesty to deprive the world of such a voice.” He loved her too much. Now more than ever.
“Alejandro, all my life I have followed my heart. Don’t expect me to stop now. If you want me, you must accept this about me.”
“
Oh, I want you, Nicolette
. All my life I have wanted something impossible to attain. I thought it was the same with you. And suddenly I want for nothing.”
He kissed her slowly, deeply, and he felt as if he were floating in heaven.
Chapter Forty-One
Hail to you who are consecrated!
You pushed through night.
—Amadeus Wolfgang Mozart,
The Magic Flute
Pope Pius X lowered the crown onto Alejandro’s head, kneeling before him, as he prayed for the king and for Spain. The crown reached King Alejandro de Bonifácio’s head, and there was complete stillness and quiet throughout the cathedral except for the sound of the pope’s prayers. The pope made the sign of the cross over the king’s forehead as he anointed him with oil. King Alejandro kissed the pope’s ring and turned to face his people.
“
God save King Alejandro!
” was shouted amidst the sound of trumpets, in great contrast to the stillness only seconds ago. San Jerónimo el Real’s gothic arches three stories in height framed the scene, the altar behind them. A painting depicting Christ’s ascension into heaven with his disciples by his side completed the frame.
“Come, Holy Ghost, our souls inspire, and lighten with celestial fire
,” the choir sang. “
Thou the anointing Spirit art, who dost thy seven-fold gifts impart
.
Thy blessed Unction from above is comfort, life, and fire of love. Enable with perpetual light
.” The king, carrying a sceptre and wearing a crown, began walking the twenty-foot-wide aisle, his red-velvet-and-ermine stole trailing behind him, as the choir burst into Mozart’s “Hallelujah” chorus. The pope preceded him, while following behind him was the archbishop, the Garter King of Arms, and fifty clergymen in white robes.
Nicolette felt somehow that all of Alejandro’s life had been leading up to this moment. And that this was where his life and purpose began.
Will law and justice, in mercy, be executed in all your judgments?
She heard Pope Pius’s questions replay in her mind, just as she heard Alejandro’s firm answer,
the things which I have promised, I will perform and keep. So help me God.
She was overcome with emotion as she watched Alejandro. Reflecting on the pope’s prayers, Nicolette considered that this man who had been so wounded would make the best kind of ruler—insightful, empathetic, and with a servant’s heart.
King Alejandro did not see his crown as divine right. He saw himself as a laborer for the people, as a worker, as someone who had been given a difficult and unpleasant task but who was required to perform it or die trying. He identified with the people. He was the people. He lacked the desire to live solely for himself.
And he was the strongest person she knew.
“To comfort all those who, in this transitory life, are in trouble, sorrow, need, sickness, or any other adversity
.” The pope turned to face the congregation at the end of the long aisle.
Alejandro bowed his head. She loved him more with every breath she took. Because “duty” was intertwined with every cell of his body, he could not be separated from it, and she would no longer try. This was who he was. He had stretched himself to the limit to ask her to be his wife.
She would not ask Alejandro to choose between her and country. She would love him as he was and assist him with his work. And she would find ways to satisfy her own soul and her need to express her being through music.
Her life would be shared with Alejandro, and that was all that mattered to her. She knew that it would not be an easy road.
Far from it
. Her life would truly not be her own, which was all she had ever wanted. She relished her independence. Being born female in a world controlled by men, every fiber of her being wanted her life to be of her own making.
And she had had that
. Perfect, beautiful freedom to be who she was. She had had it in opera. The moment she was onstage, everything she was made to be came together, and time stood still.
She wanted to give that to Alejandro every day. She wanted to see joy on his face. She wanted to feel their love for each other as pure bliss.