The Seduction Plan (10 page)

She couldn’t help feeling sad that she wouldn’t see him but she tried to be upbeat about it. “Well, I’ll see you when you get back, right? I mean, its only for a couple of days, won’t it?” she said, when what she really wanted to say was a plea to take her with him, uncaring of the boredom as long as she could be with him, smile at him across the room and snuggle up to him at night while they slept. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept alone and the idea held absolutely no appeal. All those women who rejoiced when their husbands or significant others went away and they got the whole bed

to themselves were crazy. But then, when she and Victor slept, there was very little space taken up. They slept entwined in each other’s arms and each time she moved, it woke Victor up, which he then woke her up to make love to her…Lana had to stop that memory. It was depressing her, knowing that he wouldn’t be next to her for the next few nights.

Biting her lip, she wished she could tell him that she would miss him and that she hoped he’d hurry back. But she kept those words unspoken, knowing they weren’t what he wanted to hear. She had to be sophisticated about this, not be a clinging vine who needed to see him all the time. He would probably hate that, she thought.

She heard the resignation and frustration in his voice and it warmed her heart. Maybe he was feeling just a little of what she was feeling right now. That made her feel slightly better although she knew that Victor’s emotions weren’t as into this relationship as much as hers was. It still helped, although only a little. “Right. And maybe even less than that if everything goes well. I’m trying to move some meetings up so I can get through the negotiations more quickly. Will you miss me?” he asked.

His question eased some of the sadness she’d started feeling at his news. If he wanted her to miss him, that meant that he wanted her to care, even if it was just a little, didn’t it? She smiled even though he couldn’t see her. “Yes. I definitely will.”

“Good. I’ll see you Friday night, okay?”

 

She smiled at the comment, curling up in her chair as if he were right here with her. “It’s a date.”

He rung off and Lana sagged into her chair. She stared at the computer and the cold coffee beside it and lost all her inspiration. Whatever idea she’d been trying to build was gone now after his phone call.

She stood up and started stretching, thinking all she needed to do was to get back in the groove. She stretched, did several sit ups and then went back to her computer. But it was no use. She just couldn’t get back into the scene. She kept thinking about Victor and replaying all of the nights they’d spent together, wondering what he was meeting about in London and hoping he would be okay. Although she wanted his negotiations to be successful, she still wanted him close by and that was too needy, she thought. This time apart would be good for her. She could gain some perspective, make sure she was still able to make it through the day without the knowledge that she’d see him at the end as they’d been doing almost constantly since they’d met. Their affair would eventually end, she acknowledged. And she’d be without him permanently. He’d move on to the next woman and she’d be fine. Perfectly fine.

Picking up the coffee cup, she tossed the disgusting liquid into the sink with more force than was necessary and then had to clean up the sink and counter. Okay, she realized, she didn’t like the idea of Victor moving on to another woman. But she had to be realistic. Victor was not the long term, picket fences and babies kind of guy. She had to learn to love what she could and accept that there was no future for them. Their relationship was only temporary.

She saved her work and stood up, deciding to give in for the day.

Showering and putting on fresh, clean clothes, ones that were ironed and not a big man’s shirt with a pair of stretch pants definitely helped. The navy slacks and tailored white shirt were crisp and neat. Adding a pearl necklace helped her seem more pulled together on the outside, even if she felt as if she were drifting and falling apart a little on the inside.

She felt better and put on makeup, something that hadn’t been happening during the day while she was working alone. It wasn’t like anyone would see her, she told herself. She rarely took the time for anything anymore except writing and getting ready to see Victor. She worked hard on her manuscript, getting things down as fast as her fingers could type and makeup wasn’t needed until she faced the world each day. That was reserved for her evenings with Victor but looking at herself in the mirror once she was finished, she genuinely felt better. The depression she’d started to feel was almost gone and she did several mental exercises that gave her additional help.

“Coffee,” she decided. “And not just any coffee,” she said to the otherwise empty apartment. “I need special, good coffee.” Nodding her head to emphasize the excellent idea, she tossed another abandoned cup of cold coffee into the sink and packed up her laptop into her computer case. Slipping out of her building, she walked the five blocks to the gourmet coffee shop, ordering a large frappe. Sitting down in the relatively empty coffee shop, she felt even better and she logged into her computer and felt the story line come back. There were just enough people moving around and talking that it felt like white noise to her. The small distractions actually helped put her into a more concentrated state of mind.

She was working through the plot, building up the characters as they started to fight with each other when a shadow fell over her computer. She tried to ignore it and breathed deeply, smelling the strong, fragrant coffee with touches of cinnamon and vanilla, ingredients several of the patrons obviously added more often than others since it scented the store nicely. Closing her eyes for a moment, she forced her mind to concentrate. There was something wrong though. Something inside the coffee shop had changed and she could feel it, if not understand it. Some aura had gone bad, which broke into her concentration.

She remembered reading mystery novels where the victim felt something wrong, his or her hair standing up on the nape of their necks. She’d always thought they were silly to ignore that feeling, but here she was, trying to rationalize that feeling, thinking she was safe since she was in a public place with people milling about and sitting relatively close by at the other tables. She almost smiled to herself as she thought of a way to incorporate that feeling into her current plot, but then thought of the results of ignoring that sensation and forced her fingers to freeze on the keyboard.

Looking around, she wondered what could possibly have made her so wary all of a sudden. She searched the faces of the other patrons, looking for something wrong, something that didn’t fit. But no one seemed out of place and she didn’t see any malicious expressions directed her way. Of course, serial killers and rapists rarely had a sign advertising their intentions, did they? She almost laughed at the way her mind had drifted into one scenario after another, ending at looking up and seeing a horrible person glaring at her with malicious intent.

Then her gaze swerved to the back of the store, where the clerks were making coffee for the newest patrons and there she saw him as he stared across the store at her. Drew.

In an odd way, she viewed the last few moments objectively and thought how ironic it was that the man who had shared her life for so many years had created such a bizarre reaction in her subconscious mind. It was just like in those mysteries, but, with relief, she knew that she didn’t consider Drew to be the villain in her life anymore. He was just…the past, she thought analytically. Not a good part of her past, but at least it was over, thanks to Victor’s help.

Drew was standing in line for a cup of coffee, his eyes staring right at her with his arms crossed over his chest in the aggressive way she remembered so well. Her mouth dropped open in surprise. She waited, watching him and wondering, where was the anger? Where was the resentment she’d felt so strongly after he left her for his mistress? Why wasn’t she breaking down in tears and sobbing out her frustration and anger over his betrayal?

There was nothing. Looking at the handsome man with classic blond hair and blue eyes, she wondered what it was she’d seen in him all those years ago. He was goodlooking, there was no way to deny that. But now, knowing Victor and all of his strengths as well as the hard, external ruggedness of his features, she wondered what it was about Drew that made him look so…unappealing, she finally defined. He had a weak chin and pointed nose, his shoulders were droopy and he didn’t dress nearly as nicely as she’d remembered. Drew wasn’t even in very good shape, she thought, noticing the slight paunch that was starting to hang over his belt.

Victor worked out hard each day, brutally pushing his body to the next level of fitness. He worked out during the afternoons when he said his mind was dullest and the workout gave him the ability to concentrate further into the evening.

Drew hadn’t ever worked out that she could remember although she knew that he complained an awful lot about his boring job.

Come to think of it, she thought as she sipped her latte slowly, Victor never complained. She’d seen him irritated by people at work but when he talked about the situations, he was always working out how to resolve the problem.

Other differences she could think of between Victor and Drew popped into her mind, one rapidly after the other. Victor constantly told her how pretty she was, how sexy and desirable. No matter how much she’d tried to look nice for Drew, he’d never been very complimentary. The man had always found something to make her feel bad about. Her hair wasn’t fluffy enough, or it was too fluffy; her lipstick didn’t match her sweater or a wrinkle marred her outfit. She hadn’t realized how demoralized she was until Victor had entered her life and told her how lovely she looked or what a nice color a particular sweater was with her skin or hair.

Overall, Victor was so much more of a man than Drew could even dream of being. With a secret smile, she realized that Drew walking out on her had been the best thing that ever happened to her. With that realization came freedom. Freedom from the past, freedom from all of her old insecurities although she knew that Victor had already gotten her most of that way with his “lessons” and his praise, both verbal as well as the admiration and desire that showed in his eyes whenever he looked at her.

The feeling of freedom was so wondrous, so liberating that she felt as if a bubble were growing inside her, about to burst in a happy cloud of fairy dust or something else just as ridiculous sounding.

Turning back to her computer with a smile, she quickly logged off, closing down. She wasn’t running from him she thought happily. She was just leaving an area that no longer interested her. How refreshing.

As she shut down her laptop and closed up her large carry-all bag, she smiled to herself. She’d often wondered what she would do the next time she saw him. She’d imagined horrible scenes where she’d broken down in public, begging him to come back to her, to help her out. Other times, she’d imagined a yelling fit where she blamed him for so many things that had gone wrong in their marriage. And in the dark of night, when she’d be laying in bed wondering how she would pay the rent or buy food, she’d pictured herself trying to become the woman he wanted her to be, someone who could meet his standards, who he wouldn’t criticize, wondering how she could have made herself over if she’d just had enough time and insight, instead of who she really was. Standing here, in the cozy coffee shop with her newfound confidence and success, she knew she’d moved on in her life. Drew was definitely someone from her past. And not a very nice part of her past either, she acknowledged. This was so much better than what she’d been anticipating and dreading.

“Going somewhere?” Drew asked, sidling up to her with his superior-looking expression and huge cup of coffee.

Lana looked at him and smiled politely. “Hello Drew. How are you doing lately?” she asked and was proud of herself for not cowering in front of him, or showing any sign of anger. It was actually quite easy to talk to him without feeling any emotion at all. It was as if he were an old acquaintance that she’d known a long, long time ago, but who no longer had any part of her life.

What a relief, she thought to herself. She also thanked God that Victor had come into her life before this meeting between her and Drew. She couldn’t imagine what she might have done if he hadn’t shown her what life really could be like, what a healthy relationship could be with a man she respected, cared for and was so sexually attracted to that even now, after several weeks of experiencing his magic, she still couldn’t believe it at times.

He smiled smugly and shrugged one shoulder casually. “No complaints. And you?” His eyes kept dipping, roving over her figure as if trying to find out some secret information. She suspected he was looking to see if she’d gained or lost weight since he’d left her. Both were indications of emotional upheaval but thankfully, she was the same size she was before he’d left her, although she felt much more fit than she ever had in her life. Probably the nightly workouts, she thought with a small smile of appreciation. Another bonus from Victor.

Straightening her shoulders with a great deal of pride, she smiled up at Drew. “I’m doing well, thanks for asking,” she replied. It seemed odd that they would be standing here, in the middle of an anonymous coffee shop, being so polite to each other when they’d shared years together as husband and wife. “You look well. How’s the job lately? Still having problems with your boss? Or did you eventually work that out?” She didn’t really care about his boss. Almost daily Drew had ranted about the man who managed his team, telling her how incompetent he was, how ridiculous his requests…the complaints were unending. But Drew never sat down and discussed his concerns with anyone, preferring to ruin their evening together by being upset by the latest offenses.

“I just got a promotion,” he bragged, his eyes lighting up as if he’d just been waiting for the opportunity to tell her that little piece of news.

She blinked slightly in surprise, but then realized that she wasn’t either happy or resentful of that news. It was just that…news. “That’s wonderful. I’m sure your company is very happy with your work. They always liked you, didn’t they?” she suggested. Drew was a computer programmer who wrote code for databases. Beyond that, she didn’t really understand much about what he did, although he would explain his projects to her in minute detail, then rail at her because she wasn’t overly interested in his programming problems.