He eagerly explored her mouth while his hands moved on her body, sliding down one curve, up another while she sought his hair with her fingers, then his neck and chest.
Harrison suddenly lifted her off her feet, twirling her around and setting her on the chair. He dipped down to the hollow of her throat. “At last, I feel your heartbeat,” he said. Her racing, galloping heart. Olivia dropped her head back with a moan as Harrison sought the skin of her bosom with his mouth. White-hot shivers of anticipation shimmered down her spine, sparking in her groin, making her damp. When Harrison pressed the hard ridge of his erection against her leg, she inhaled a ragged, ravenous breath.
He cupped her face, pressed his forehead to hers. “You cannot imagine the power you possess over me. With a look, a sigh, a smile, you reduce me to nothing but hunger.”
“It is the same power you possess over me,” she said, and pushed back a lock of dark hair from his brow. Harrison kissed her tenderly, and slid his hands to her shoulders, then her rib cage, sliding them down, to her hips. He dipped one hand beneath the hem of her gown and slid it up her leg.
Olivia moaned and pressed against him, encircling his neck with her arms, teasing him with the tip of her tongue. He moved his hand higher, touching the soft flesh of her inner thigh.
She gasped at the galvanizing sensation. A small voice told her to close her legs, to stop before she’d gone too far and given up everything she’d ever believed. But another voice, a stronger voice, urged her to seize this moment, for it would never come again. She opened her legs a little wider.
Harrison groaned. He stroked her thigh as he kissed her face and neck. When his fingers brushed the apex of her legs, the exquisite sensation ran through Olivia like a river.
She reached for his trousers, her fingers finding the buttons and undoing them. His member sprang free of his clothes and into her hand. She closed her eyes as he stroked her, willingly riding the wave of pleasure that was building, stroking him, feeling him swell and harden. His fingers swirled around the core of her pleasure, sliding deep inside her, moving faster. He anchored her with one arm around her, his eyes on her face, watching her succumb to his touch and to pleasure she had never known.
“Harrison,”
she said, her voice rough.
He moved between her legs. “Let go and allow yourself this.” He began to stroke her again, and when Olivia teetered on the edge of a climax, he pushed into her, filling her up.
Olivia gasped loudly at the sensation of Harrison’s body in hers. She fell back against the chair, clinging to his arms, moving with him, against him, rising up to meet each thrust. He moved in her as he caressed her, riding her into an explosive climax that shattered around her. It felt as if pieces of her were raining down around them. In the next moment, Harrison groaned and yanked free of her, spilling his seed on her thigh. Olivia clung to the arms of the chair as she fought for her breath. Harrison touched his forehead to hers as he sought his. “Never,” he said breathlessly. “Never have I been more fulfilled. Never have I desired a woman as I have desired you for more than six years. Only you. Always you.”
She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him on the mouth, lingering there, exalting in the sensation of having joined with him so completely.
Harrison kissed her cheek, her forehead, and then tenderly kissed her mouth before gathering her in his arms and holding her to him.
Olivia had never felt so connected to another. Her heart was beating against his chest, trying to leap into his. She could feel unshed tears in her eyes, could feel her blood flowing hot and heavy through every vein. The heavens were shimmering above them, blanketing them.
Several moments passed before Harrison put his palm to her cheek and kissed her, softly, languidly. And then he leaned back.
“No,” Olivia said, reaching for him, but Harrison gained his feet. He straightened and fastened his clothes. He smiled down at her as he ran his fingers through his hair, then reached down and stroked the crown of her head.
She pressed her cheek into his palm and closed her eyes, desperate to memorize every moment, every sensation. But reality began to seep back in like smoke, curling in around her tender thoughts for Harrison, sneaking in between them.
He came down on one knee beside her and cupped her face. “Let us leave here, Olivia,” he said softly. “Let us leave Everdon Court behind, once and for all.”
Olivia took his hand and pressed it between hers, and kissed the tip of each finger, one by one.
“What do you say?”
“Where would we go?”
“Ashwood,” he said instantly. “I’ve inherited Ashwood. We’ll go there—”
“Scandal would follow us,” she said.
“I don’t give a damn about scandal,” he said earnestly, and cupped her face with both hands, forcing her to look at him. “You are the only thing that concerns me, Olivia. You are the only thing that has concerned me all these years. Do you know how much I love you? I
love
you, and God knows I have longed to tell you so, to kiss you, to make love to you. And now, in the misfortune that has befallen this family, a miracle has happened—I no longer have to love you from afar. I can love you every day, provide for you and care for you in every way.”
She could feel a torrent of tears building in her head and chest. She swallowed them down and took his hands in hers. “I cannot come with you,” she murmured.
Harrison made a sound of impatience, but Olivia squeezed his hand. “What of Alexa? I cannot leave her behind for the sake of my own happiness.”
“She will understand—”
“She won’t. She honestly believes she will make a good life with you, that you will give her child a name.” She looked into his eyes. “You of all people know how important that is. She knows her situation is desperate and she has fixed all her hopes in you. Should I tell her that now that my husband is dead, I want you, and she is to fend for herself?”
“She may reside with us at Ashwood—”
“The three of us?” Olivia said. “Harrison—Alexa is hopeful for a future that
we
gave her. That we convinced her she should seize. And now she can sleep knowing that her child will not suffer the same fate that
you
suffered. How can I take that from her? She is my sister—”
“I don’t care,” he said roughly.
“Perhaps not now. But in the years to come, when you see Alexa and her child, will you not feel at least a bit of remorse? I think you will. I think you will feel as if you pursued your own happiness at the expense of an innocent child.”
“But I love
you,
” he insisted.
“And I love you,” she said sadly. “Unfortunately, fate sometimes intervenes in our happiness.”
He pulled his hands from hers and stood up. “If you are determined, you will think of many reasons why you cannot come with me. But have you thought of why you should? Have you thought of
your
happiness? You are free now, Olivia. You are
free.
”
Olivia looked down at her black bombazine and shook her head. “I am not free. I’ve simply moved to another cage. I am held captive by my esteem for you, and the fact that I am all that my sister has in this world. Alexa is not free—she is held captive by a bastard child. And the child . . . the child is not the least bit free, is it? The child faces a lifetime of censure.”
Harrison groaned with exasperation and whirled around, locking his fingers behind his head for a moment. The heaviness of his disappointment filled the room and pressed against her. “Is this truly what you want?” he asked bitterly.
“Of course not. I want to be with
you
. But I recognize that there are others who are hurt by my wants. Edward is dead because of them. You and Alexa teeter on the edge of ruin because of them.”
“You’re not making any sense—”
“Because you do not want to see it,” she said, coming to her feet. “I am responsible for all of this, Harrison. Edward is dead because of me. You are to be cast out because of me, as is Alexa.”
“That is absurd!”
“Is it, truly? Think of it—had I not kissed you, had I not fallen in love with you, would Edward have ever believed that an affair between us was even possible?”
He stared at her in shock. “You do not truly believe that.” He gathered her to him, holding her tight. “It is not your fault, Olivia. The marquis was foxed and he was mad and he was reckless. It’s as simple as that.”
“But I gave him reason to ride—”
“Hush,” Harrison said, and pressed her head against his shoulder.
“Hush.”
It was impossible to explain the guilt she felt—guilt that Edward had believed she’d been unfaithful, which she truly had been, in her heart. Guilt that she didn’t feel more sorrow for his passing. Great swaths of guilt as heavy as Harrison’s disappointment in her, as heavy as the bombazine she wore.
She gazed up at him, wincing at the pain and hurt in his eyes. “I love you, Harrison. More than words could ever convey. But I cannot go with you.” She stepped out of his embrace and walked to the door. She hesitated there, hoping he would call her back. But when he did not speak, she glanced back. “I have always loved you, too,” she said. “And I always will.”
“That is scant comfort,” he said coolly.
“For me either,” she agreed. There seemed nothing more to say. She picked up her candle and went out, her heart cracking and falling to pieces.
R
ue announced to Alexa that Mr. Tolly wanted to see her in his study before breakfast. He was dressed in gray tails and black trousers, a pristine white neckcloth tied perfectly, and a dark gray waistcoat. Had it not been for the armband of mourning and the dark circles under his eyes, he would have looked as if it were any other day. It was obvious that the marquis’s death had taken a toll on him.
“Thank you for coming,” he said coolly, as if she were a servant. “I thought you should know that we will depart for Ashwood at week’s end.”
Alexa gasped with surprise. She was elated, surprised, and suddenly very hopeful that her life would consist of something more than the drab walls of the dowager house. “This is most welcome news! I thought you were determined to stay on.”
“Things have changed with Lord Carey’s death.”
“And we shall reside there,” she said, to make doubly sure she understood him.
“Yes.”
A wide grin spread across her face. “Thank you, Harry,” she said.
And thank you, Olivia.
“I know you do not wish to leave Everdon Court, but I think it is for the best. You shall be an earl!”
“I would advise you not to count your chickens before they hatch, Alexa. I do not know what we will find there, much less if the possibility of a title is even viable. Let us be content that at least we have a place to go for the sake of your child.”
“Yes, of course,” she said. He was a cautious man, but she had every confidence that they would be titled before the end of the year.
“That is all for now,” he said, and picked up his pen.
Alexa leaned over to see what he was writing and noticed the letter was addressed to Mr. Fish. “Does Olivia know?”
“No,” he said, and began to write.
“I shall tell her this morning, shall I?”
When Harry did not answer, Alexa walked around the desk and looked out the window. Another sun-filled spring day. Flowers would be blooming before long. She hoped she had gardens at Ashwood. Countesses ought to have gardens.
She was still smiling when she turned about and put her hands on Harry’s shoulders. His body tensed instantly and she quickly withdrew her hands. “I beg your pardon.”
“If you please, Alexa, I have quite a lot to do before we take our leave.”
Alexa was mortified. Her mother had always assured her that in an arranged marriage, affection would come, but it might take a little longer than when one was free to choose. She certainly hoped that was true.
Most of the Careys had taken their leave by mid-morning, leaving only David behind. Belinda said an awkward good-bye to Olivia, then hurried off to the coach where her husband waited for her.