The Secrets of Silk (17 page)

Sonny Boy stuffed the dollar bill in his pocket and lingered on the stone walkway. “You're real pretty, Silk, and I love you.”

“Yeah, all right, but don't go around blabbing about how much you love me. Keep that information to yourself, you hear me? Nobody is supposed to know our secret.”

“I won't tell anyone,” he said earnestly, and then whispered, “I love you.”

Silk cracked up laughing. Poking fun and playing mind games with the town idiot was somewhat pleasurable. “Go on, now, Sonny Boy. Get back to the store before Max comes looking for you.”

S
ilk filled two bowls with cereal and called Dallas and Myron into the kitchen. One look at the box of Cheerios and Myron wrinkled his nose. “Mommy buys us Frosted Flakes.”

Without a word, Silk picked up Myron's bowl and dumped the cereal back into the box. “You done earned yourself a punishment, so get on upstairs with your brother.”

“But…”

“Don't backtalk me, boy. Get upstairs before I grab some switches and go to town on your bare legs and backside.”

Myron skulked off toward the stairs. He looked over his shoulder and forlornly watched Silk pouring milk into Dallas' bowl.

“You want some sugar on your cereal, Dallas?” Silk asked in a sweet tone.

“Yes, ma'am,” Dallas responded, quickly learning that agreeing with Silk was the best way to get along with her.

“I don't like it when you say,
Yes, ma'am,
it makes me seem old. Being that I'm your new stepmother, you need to give me a proper title.” Silk stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “Do you wanna call me, Mommy?”

“Um…” Dallas fidgeted with her spoon, not wanting to say anything that would cause her to be banished to her bedroom.

“I realize I'm not your real mother, so you don't have to call me,
Mommy.” Silk squinted as she contemplated a suitable name for the children to call her. “How about Mama?”

Risking punishment, Dallas hesitantly shook her head no.

“You're trying my patience, Dallas. You gotta call me something, so what's it gonna be?” Silk's voice took on a hard quality, and Dallas' winced in fear.

Silk smiled suddenly. “I got it! I know exactly what I want you and your brothers to call me. Y'all can call me, M'dear. That's the shortcut way of saying, my dear. It's nice and classy, don't you think?”

“Yes.”

Silk arched a brow. “Yes, what?”

“Yes, M'dear.”

“Good girl. Now, eat your breakfast.” While Dallas ate cereal, Silk put away most of her goodies, storing them in a hiding space behind the canned goods. With a Hershey's chocolate bar and a Coca-Cola in hand, she sat across the table from Dallas. She removed the wrapper from the chocolate bar and popped the cap off the bottle of soda pop.

Silk was delighted to have a cabinet full of goodies all to herself. Back home, Big Mama hardly ever allowed her to have sweets. Whenever the white folks stopped by for their remedies and brought along treats for Silk, Big Mama would keep the goodies for herself, telling Silk she didn't want her getting cavities because she was trained to nurse folks, not to pull out teeth.

It was rare, but every now and then, after giving Big Mama her thrills, Silk would earn a piece of candy or a slice of cake. When Silk grew older and had money in her pocket, she used to buy all sorts of goodies. She tried to stash them in secret places in the shack, but Big Mama, having a nose like a bloodhound, could always sniff out Silk's treats. She'd take a strap or a couple of switches to
Silk's behind to break her out of the habit of hiding goodies from her.

Silk's mind began to wander back in time.

“Ain't nothing worse than living under the same roof as a liar and a cheat,” Big Mama complained after whipping the daylights out of Silk.

“I won't hide goodies, anymore, Big Mama.”

“Shut yo' lying mouth! Now, go lay your yella tail on that bed and gap
your legs open for me. You done worked my nerves something terrible, and I gotta get me some thrills in order to calm myself down.”

“You want me to give you the special treatment before I lay down on the bed and gap open my legs?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Get on over here and sit on this chair,” Big Mama said, kicking off her boots. Next, she took off her skirt and let it float down to the floor.

Silk sat on the chair and Big Mama pulled it close.

“Don't I teach you right from wrong, Silk?”

“Yes, Big Mama.”

“Then, why you so bad and ornery?”

“Because I was borned bad,” Silk said, repeating what Big Mama had always told her.

“Is you ready to be good?”

“Yes, Big Mama.”

Following the steps of a ritual she'd been participating in for as long as she could remember, Silk tugged down the woman's big bloomers and when they pooled around her ankles, Big Mama stepped out of her underwear and kicked them out of the way. She propped a big, meaty foot on the seat of the chair that Silk sat upon.

“Welp, get to it, girl.”

Eager to get Big Mama out of her foul mood, Silk palmed the woman's
enormous buttocks as she used her tongue to provide pleasure.

Big Mama shuddered and widened her fleshy thighs. “You getting better and better at giving me the special treatment.”

Encouraged by the compliment, Silk worked harder, sucking with her lips and penetrating deeply with her tongue.

Suddenly angry, Big Mama yanked Silk's hair. “Slow down, you lil' yella heifer. You think you slick, trying to take me over the edge before I'm ready. I don't know where you learning this stuff, but you getting mighty tricky with them nasty lips and that wicked tongue of yours. That's enough special treatment. Go lay your fresh-butt on the bed, so I can get me some poontang.

Back in the moment, Silk gazed at Dallas curiously. “Hey, Dallas, did you give your mama thrills at night?”

Dallas looked at Silk, puzzled. “Did I give her what?”

“Thrills. You know, in the bed?”

“We said our prayers kneeling by the bed, and she taught me how to make up my bed. Sometimes she put my stuffed toys on the bed—”

“That's not what I'm talking about. You ain't never lay underneath your mama in the bed…you know, so she could get thrills?”

Completely perplexed, Dallas shrugged. “I don't think so.”

“Y'all Northerners sho' is strange. Kids talk back to their elders and complain about what they don't want to eat for breakfast.” Silk shook her head. “I had a strong Southern mama. She didn't take any mess off of me. She taught me right from wrong, and most importantly, she taught me how to keep her nerves calmed down by giving her thrills and special treatment. She told me it's a secret that's kept between little girls and their mamas.” Silk pondered briefly. “Maybe it's a Louisiana tradition.”

Having no idea what Silk was referring to, Dallas asked, “Does giving thrills mean you made your mother laugh?”

“I suppose you could say that. Actually, what I gave my mama was way better than laughter.” Silk looked at Dallas. “Can you keep secrets, Dallas?”

The innocent little child gazed into Silk's eyes and nodded her head.

W
earing Ernestine's blue apron with white ruffles around the edges, Silk greeted Buddy at the door with a kiss and a glass of Jack Daniel's. She noticed that on many of the TV programs she enjoyed watching, the wife greeted the husband with a drink and made sure the children were quiet and orderly.

“It sure is quiet. Where are the kids?”

“They already ate dinner and they're upstairs in their rooms. The boys are building something with their Erector Set and you know, Dallas, she's fooling around with her dolls.”

“We always ate together as a family when Ernestine…”

Silk winced, and Buddy's voice trailed off as he noticed the hurt look on Silk's face.

“Forgive me, sweetheart. I didn't mean to compare you to my ex-wife.”

“It's okay. We can all eat together tomorrow, if you'd like,” Silk said quietly. “I figured it would be nice to have a romantic dinner with just the two of us on the first night that your sister isn't here. It's nice to have some privacy from all those church folks that were hanging around the house.”

“You're right. This is our first night having our home to ourselves. You know, I'm really looking forward to making you Mrs.
Richard Dixon. Out of tragedy came an unexpected blessing, and having you makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world.”

“Tell me more,” Silk said, grinning.

“You're beautiful on the inside and out, and I already know you're the best mother I could have found for my children.”

“Thank you, Buddy. I'm so glad you appreciate the effort I'm putting into helping you rear your children. I know I can't take the place of their natural mother, but I plan to always do the best I can. The children were calling me Miss Silk, but that sounds like I'm no more than a neighbor lady, so we decided together that they would call me, M'dear. What do you think about that?”

“I like it. It sounds loving and respectful.” Buddy sniffed the air. “Whatever's on the stove cooking, sure smells good.”

“I wanted to whip up some Creole cooking for you. You know, some good ol' gumbo or jambalaya, but we have so many leftovers that the church folks gave us, I simply heated up something that was already in the ice box.”

In actuality, Silk didn't know how to fry an egg. Big Mama had prepared all the meals at home, cooking up her remedies and supper out of the same black kettle.

“I've never tasted Creole food. I've heard a lot about gumbo and I can't wait to taste it. So, what's for supper? All this talk of food has my stomach growling.”

“Chili con carne, rice, and corn bread. Peach cobbler for dessert. I froze a lot of the leftovers that the church folks brought, but there's too much to fit in the freezer. Do you want me to throw it all out or keep heating up leftovers for supper until it runs out?”

“Those good people toiled over those meals, and it would be a sin to throw away good food.” Buddy peeked inside the refrigerator and whistled in surprise when he saw the stacks of plastic containers.
“You won't have to worry about cooking a meal for quite a while, Silk.”

“I'm looking forward to cooking for you, Buddy,” she said, lying through her teeth.

“Make sure you put gumbo at the top of the list after we get through the leftovers.”

Silk set a steaming plate of chili in front of Buddy and prepared another plate for herself. She sat across from him, eating daintily. Stuffed from cookies and candy, she stirred the chili mixture around with her fork.

“You eat like a bird, Silk.”

“Never had much of an appetite.”

Buddy ate heartily, and then pushed his plate away. His jovial expression turned sad. “I have some bad news I was saving until after supper.”

“What is it?” Silk feared Buddy was going to tell her that they had to postpone their wedding plans.

“The twins aren't doing well at all,” he said solemnly.

She let out a sigh of relief, and then quickly painted on a concerned expression. “Are they gonna make it?”

“They're fighting hard and holding on. But they're gravely ill with heart and respiratory problems. The doctors don't think they got enough oxygen when they were born, and there's probably something wrong with their brains.” Choked up, Buddy dropped his head. “My little babies aren't going to be normal. They're never coming home because they'll need medical care for the rest of their lives.” Buddy looked distraught.

Silk had to contain herself from clapping her hands with glee. It was a stroke of luck that life-threatening ailments had worked their way into the twins' bodies, preventing them from ever entering
the Dixon household. Adding two sick babies to Buddy's brood of kids was more than Silk could handle.