The Secret Life of Daydreams (16 page)

Sofia’s hair was down and held back from her face with a fabric headband. It didn’t cease to amaze him, all that curly, chocolate-colored hair. And the sparkly red nail polish on her toes had been a revelation, another fragment of what made Sofia who she was. Where had this need to know more about her come from?

They approached the parking lot near the sanctuary of Sameiro and came to a stop. It was situated at the top of the highest eastern hill surrounding Braga. Josh had visited the dome-roofed, cathedral-style building when he was a missionary, but couldn’t remember much more than that it dated to the nineteenth century and was a main religious destination for Catholics in the country.

They exited, and he opened the trunk of his rental car to retrieve his equipment and the backpack with the picnic. Sofia had offered to bring a packed dinner but at his insistence had relented instead to dessert only. She’d packed it well in a little canvas bag and he couldn’t tell what it was.

As they left the parking lot, they hurried to round the building and made it to the western side in time to catch the sunset. Once at the wide staircase, Josh quickly set up his camera on the tripod and composed his shots. The view from there spread to the west, north, and south, ideal for another 360° panorama.

The beginnings of a shimmery sunset stretched in languorous colors, warm and welcoming, and the twinkle of the city lights below added a foggy glow to the magenta tones of the setting sun. A few wispy clouds hung low on the far horizon. The sounds of summer wafted to them, with the filtered noise of urban traffic. Though it was not his first visit there, it was the perfect background for an early summer evening, especially in the company of this beautiful woman next to him.

As the evening turned darker, the city lights brightened. Behind them, the round moon started its rise and Josh waited for the moment when it crested over the building’s cupola to capture the perfect image. With the sanctuary and surroundings illuminated by spotlights, the ambient light was enough for the contrast effect he wanted to achieve.

Sofia had delivered her guide recitation about the history of the place, and was now silent as he pressed the shutter on the last shots of the vista. She sat on a stone step below, just a few feet from where he’d placed the tripod. She propped her chin on her palm and rested her elbow on her knee, with a far-away look in her eyes.

Josh adjusted the settings for the next shot. “Sofia. A penny for your thoughts.” He pressed the shutter and then glanced at her.

She turned to him. “That’s probably all they’re worth, um tostão.”

Josh raised his eyebrows, not remembering the word. “O que é um tostão?”

“That was the old Portuguese penny from the time we still had escudos as the currency, before the introduction of the euros.”

“I’m pretty sure your thoughts are worth more than that.” Josh looked through the viewfinder. “Come here.” He’d had the presence of mind to use the remote shutter and have a picture taken with Sofia at Briteiros, and now Josh wanted to repeat it at every site they visited. By the end of his trip, he hoped to have enough pictures for a small collection.

Sofia was a reluctant subject, but complied. He adjusted the focus then walked to her and ducked until their heads were at the same level. He brought an arm behind her and rested a hand on her shoulder, until her hair, and the warmth of her body, and the scent he’d grown to love filled his senses and his heart. How easy it would be to take her in his arms and press her to his chest. Too easy.

He shook himself mentally and brought his attention back to the camera, then pointed the remote. “Pronta?” Sofia nodded. “Diz queijo!”

As soon as the shutter released, Sofia stepped away from him. “You’re not putting this on your blog, are you?”

Josh checked the viewfinder. Lacking the proper lighting, it wasn’t the perfect shot, but Sofia standing next to him with a smile on her face was all he wanted. He scrolled through the images in case he’d miss an angle.

“What, you don’t think I should post a pic with my beautiful guide?”

Even in the low light, Sofia’s cheeks tinged. “You have another guide?” She said with an arched brow.

Josh turned off the camera and detached the tripod. He looked at her directly and smiled. She was uncomfortable with compliments and he was blatantly flirting with her. He’d have to praise her more. “I have the best guide, but you already know that.” He busied himself packing the camera away.

Sofia lifted her bag. “I have dessert and it won’t keep all night.”

Okay, he could take a hint. He straightened and shouldered his bag. “Let’s go eat.”

They started back and Josh veered toward the outdoor eating area. With the clear moon overhead and the light posts throughout, he was looking forward to a picnic at night. This time he’d brought a Chinese dinner in little containers, drinks, utensils and napkins, and even a small tablecloth to lay over the table.

Sofia watched as he laid it all out. “You sure know how to pack a picnic. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He took a container and opened it up. “And who says you have to serve sandwiches at picnics all the time?”

Was it cheating that he’d enlisted Paulo’s help in finding out if Sofia liked Chinese food and then had ordered it from her favorite restaurant? He hoped not.

For dessert, Sofia pulled out two small round bowls from the bag, and removed the lids. “It’s pudding,” she said. She gave him a spoon and grabbed another for herself. “Homemade flan pudding. Sorry I can’t serve it upside down on a plate, but I made sure it has enough sauce.”

Josh took a bite. It was cold, and smooth, and had just the right balance of sweetness and creaminess. “This is my favorite Portuguese dessert.” He couldn’t hold back a smile as he took another spoonful. “And the sauce is perfect. The goldish-brown color to it, the not-too-sweet flavor.” He closed his eyes. “So delicious.” He tipped the container and scraped the spoon against the bottom to get the last of the sauce.

Sofia looked between his empty bowl and hers. “I had no idea you liked flan pudding so much, or I’d have brought more.” She held up her bowl. “Do you want mine? I only took one bite.”

“Are you sure you don’t want the rest?”

“I’ve got more at home.” This time, she pushed the bowl into his hands, and he took it.

“In that case, I’ll take it.” If she didn’t mind sharing, he wouldn’t mind receiving.

Sofia sat back. “I have a document with all the information about the Sameiro, the Bom-Jesus, and the Citânia, as well. I’ll email it to you later. This way you can pick what you want for your blog.”

Josh regarded her for a moment, then smiled. “That is a very good idea.” He held his palm up for a high-five. “Why didn’t I think of that before?” An idea for the project turned in his mind and he made a mental note to write it down later.

“I never thought of coming to Sameiro at night before.” She raised her eyes toward the moon. “But the weather is cooler up here, and the view is incredible, and you don’t have to fight throngs of visitors like during the day.”

Josh quickly packed the containers in the backpack, then leaned against the table as he looked toward the sanctuary. “I remember tracting those streets down there and wondering what it would be like to come up here and watch the sunset with all the city lights in the background.” Funny how the memory had popped up like that. “The reality is even better than all the expectations.” He glanced at Sofia.

“Did you ever think you’d be back one day?” She evaded the double meaning of his words and he let it slide.

“It never crossed my mind. It was just one of those things, everything falling into place at the right time.” He leaned forward. “The offer for this job came during a break, and it piqued my interest.”

“And do you know where you’re going next?” She played with the chain around her neck and Josh’s eyes strayed to it.

“Not yet. I’ve had some offers but haven’t made a choice.” With each day in Portugal, the decision was less clear. He’d have to extend his work visa again. “I might have to go to California for a little while to wrap up the school project.”

“That makes sense,” she said.

They walked back to the car and Josh dropped his equipment, the backpack, and Sofia’s canvas bag in the trunk, then locked it.

Sofia stood to the side, waiting for him, with an arm crossed and a hand to her neck, sliding the pendant on the chain up and down, absent-mindedly.

The way she touched it drew his attention and he stepped toward her. Josh brought up a finger and held the pendant, cutting the distance between them. Sofia drew a quick breath but didn’t move, her face tipped up and her eyes locked on him.

“Sorry.” He let it fall against the skin on her collar bone, and he stepped back. Invading her personal space wouldn’t bring the answer to his curiosity. “I’ve just been wondering what made you keep it for so long.”

Did he not remember that conversation in Margarida’s kitchen? A flash of impatience rose within her and Sofia closed her eyes momentarily, tempering it down. “Do you want the truth or do you want me to tell you what you wish to hear?” She’d been holding herself back from really saying what she thought to Josh, and maybe now the time had come for it.

Josh gave her a confused look. He swept his eyes to the area around them, then grabbed her hand and tugged at her. “Come on.”

Sofia smarted at the touch. Distracting her from what she planned to say wasn’t fair. When he guided her to sit on a nearby bench, Josh let go of her and Sofia sat next to him, organizing her disjointed thoughts into coherent ones, doubting the outcome of this conversation.

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “There’s no need to lie to me, Sofia.”

How much honesty did she want to use in her words? And how would he receive it?

“No, I won’t lie, but I’m not sure you’re ready to hear what I have to say.” Sofia looked straight at him for a short moment, but Josh had drawn behind a neutral expression and she couldn’t read him. She straightened against the bench. “Joining the church changed my life. I knew it would, and that’s why it took me so long to make a decision, because I knew if I got baptized, it would be a commitment, not a phase.” She brought the pendant between her fingers. “When you gave me this pendant, it was like I received a goal for which to work. Your words touched me because it felt like they came from Heavenly Father to me saying
If you are true to your covenants, you will be blessed
.” She swallowed a knot of emotion. “And when you said to me,
If you are faithful and patient and worthy, the Lord will reward you with a worthy priesthood holder to take you to the temple one day
—” Why couldn’t she ever get past this part without the lump in her throat?— “I not only wrote the words in my journal, but I wrote them in my heart.” Her hand brushed her chest, the burning inside almost too much.

Sofia reached for Josh’s wrist. “How could I ignore that, Josh?” His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down, the only sign of emotion from him. She pressed on. “I couldn’t ignore it. It was a testimony too powerful to me and it became a sort of guiding star for what I needed to do.

“And I kept it around my neck as a reminder of that goal, to keep my standards when I met guys or dated. Because I knew when I got married, it would be to a priesthood holder and it would be in the temple.”

She drew her hand from Josh, and with a long breath lifted her eyes to the sky, to the large silver moon halfway up against the dark velvet.

“What happened with the guy then?” Josh’s voice was low.

“What happened was that I met him at school; he was a teacher too.” The memories she’d locked away seeped out from the little box where she’d placed them. “You have to know that the dating pool for church members here in Portugal is not really favorable for the sisters. And this guy came along and he was funny and smart and he noticed me, and the more we talked, the more I wanted to know him, and before long we started spending time together. First at school, then outside of school.”

She laced her fingers to give her hands something to do, aware of Josh’s presence, his body turned to her, his attention on her. “And we had so much in common and liked so many of the same things that I started to fall for him, a little bit more each time we were together.” Sofia slowed down in her narrative, heavy with the weight and the effort of letting the memories in. “I made the mistake of thinking I could change him, which meant I could change my goals as well. And because he respected me and my religion, I thought he could grow to love the Lord as I did.” She rubbed the corner of her eye, where a tear made its escape. “When he talked about marriage, I agreed. Margarida took me looking for wedding dresses. And he brought me brochures for the venue.