The Search (33 page)

"There can't be an obvious official presence at Dodsworth if I want to draw him. He'd regard my security people as a challenge, not a deterrent. But security is as tight as a drum there. No one could get through."

"Call them."

"Not yet. Not until I'm sure it's necessary. Not until I'm certain we can't stop him. Trust me. I'll act if I have to."

"How many people do you have in that installation?"

"Fifty-seven."

"And do they know what danger they're in?"

"Yes. I told the head of the project to tell everyone what happened at Santo Camaro and that they might be next. I gave them the option of staying or leaving. Six left. The rest stayed."

"You should shut down the facility."

"Rudzak would just change his target." He stood up. "If you want ATF called, do it yourself."

"I will."

"But be sure you're ready to accept the responsibility of another Kai Chi."

She could feel the blood drain from her face. "Kai Chi?"

"That was Rudzak. A tribute to Chen Li. Do you want another Kai Chi or do you want a chance to catch the bastard?"

"Kai Chi." She stared at him in horror. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew you'd look at me as you're doing now and run to the opposite end of the earth. You don't understand anyone who would kill five hundred people to make a sick statement."

"Do you?"

"No, but I'm part of the problem, and every time you look at me, you'll see Kai Chi."

"Please, call ATF," she whispered. "You saw the baby who died in Taiwan. It's nothing compared to what a bomb did to the children in Oklahoma."

He was silent for a moment, a multitude of emotions crossing his face. Then he shook his head. "I'll give you anything else in the whole world, but I can't give you this, Sarah. I have to have a chance of catching him."

"It's wrong, Logan."

"Then make the call. No one's stopping you." He started into the house. "But think long and hard about it. And remember Kai Chi. It could happen again."

No one was stopping her? The hell no one was stopping her.

Oklahoma City. Oh, God, she couldn't stand to be responsible for another disaster like that.

Kai Chi.

If Logan was right, could she bear being responsible for the death of even more people than those at Dodsworth?

She had to have an answer and soon.

Monty whimpered and put his head on her knee.

"It's okay." She stroked his head. "Go on back to Maggie."

He didn't move. He was there giving her comfort and companionship as Logan had done the night before. But in the morning Logan had offered nothing except loneliness and despair.

Sarah tried to ignore the pain. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. She had told him she expected nothing but sexual pleasure. It was too bad she had let him slip beneath her defenses. But it would be okay. She had been alone most of her life and she had made out fine.

He asked her to trust him. Could she? Because of the way she felt about him, or because she truly believed the risk was worthwhile? She had always thought for herself, but she had never been as emotionally involved as she was with Logan.

When she had come out to speak to him, everything seemed simple. She was filled with rage against Rudzak and determination to find and punish him for the atrocity at Apache Lake. Now an even greater atrocity was looming at Dodsworth and nothing was simple anymore.

Nothing but the fact that whatever decision she was about to make could be the wrong one.

"My biscuits and gravy are ruined," Galen told her when she walked into the cabin an hour later. "And Logan wouldn't eat either. But out of the kindness of my heart, I'll make you both a new batch. You'll have to wait though. Perfection takes time."

"I'm not hungry." She looked at Logan sitting in a chair at the table. "Something's sticking in my throat."

Logan met her gaze. "I don't doubt it. The question is whether you'll be able to swallow it."

"I'm going to try. I don't see any other solution." She crossed her arms across her chest. "I'll wait awhile before notifying ATF about Dodsworth. But the minute I see any danger to the facility, I'm going to blow the whistle and I won't let you convince me otherwise."

"I didn't think you would."

"And I'm not willing to sit here, twiddling my thumbs, until I hear Rudzak's blown it to kingdom come. You said you think Rudzak's ready to move. I want to go to Dodsworth and be there before he decides to set his explosives."

"I told you, the target might not be Dodsworth."

"But it's your passion and he knows it. You don't think he'd pass that up."

"No."

"And you on site would be another reason for him to zero in on it."

"Yes."

"And evidently he also wants to target me. Right?"

"You couldn't be more right." His mouth lifted in a crooked smile. "Or more terrifying."

"Then the multiple targets should draw him." She turned to Galen. "You're sure the security at Dodsworth is unbreakable."

Galen nodded. "I'd set up shop there and I value my neck more than I do any of those scientists. Science may save the world, but where would it be without charm and fine cuisine?" He glanced at Logan. "It seems plans are escalating. We were planning on waiting a bit."

"I don't want to wait," Sarah said. "I want Rudzak now."

Logan nodded. "I'd hoped to keep you out of it."

"Rudzak doesn't want to keep me out of it."

"Then why give him what he wants? Stay here and be safe."

"Makes sense to me," Galen agreed.

"When do we go to Dodsworth?" Sarah said.

Logan sighed. "When Bassett is ready to join the team up there. I think Rudzak will want to eliminate all hope of success for the project with one roll of the dice. He can't do that if Bassett is left alive."

"And you said Bassett will be ready to go within a week?"

Logan nodded.

"Good. Then I have plans to make myself." She went into the bedroom and shut the door.

"So much for keeping her out of it," Galen said. "I'll try to take care of her at Dodsworth, but I can't promise you anything if she goes off on her own the way she did at Apache Lake. You can't protect someone if they don't want to be protected."

"I know."

"And I detected a coolness in her attitude that may make things more difficult."

"Can you blame her? I'm surprised she doesn't want to cut my throat. I had to tell her about Kai Chi or she would have gone off on her own after Rudzak."

"True." Galen turned back to the stove. "But I'd stop brooding about how she feels and go in there and see what she's doing. If she says she's making plans, I don't think you want any of them to surprise you." He looked down at the gravy congealing in the frypan. "Pity. The two of you have spoiled everything. It was going to be a masterpiece of a breakfast."

"What are you doing?"

Sarah looked up to see Logan standing in the doorway. "What does it look like?" She threw a load of underwear into the duffel she had set on the bed. "I'm packing. I want to be ready when Bassett is ready."

"We won't have to walk out the door the minute he does."

"I know." She tossed a cardigan and two pairs of jeans into the duffel. "But I'll go crazy if I don't do something. You and Rudzak may have all the patience in the world, but I don't. This isn't some kind of contest to me."

"It's not to me either. You're not being fair, Sarah."

"Maybe not. Ask me if I care."

"You care. That's the problem. You care too much." He crossed the room and stood next to her. "It's playing hell with my plans, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

He was too close. She could feel the heat of his body. She took a step away and went back to the bureau. "I care about those people at Dodsworth. Not about you."

"I never meant anything else," he said quietly. "I know I'm not in your good books right now. It will be different once this is over. I'll make it different."

She didn't answer.

"We have to work together, Sarah. You can't let your feelings get in the way."

That was exactly what she was trying to prevent. She had to keep him at a distance. She couldn't let the way she felt about him cloud her judgment. Not with all those lives in the balance. "I'll work with you." She met his gaze across the room. "But don't expect anything else from me. I can't give it to you."

"You will. As you said, I can be very patient."

"By the time this is over, you may have changed your mind."

"I won't change my mind."

Her hand closed tightly on the knob of the bureau drawer as he walked out and closed the door behind him. Finish packing. Don't think about him. Don't let him be important to you. Even if he seems to care about you now, how long can it last? You're too different from him.

And that's okay. She didn't want to change. She didn't want to be anyone but herself. She was a woman who could make decisions and run her own life to suit herself.

Don't think about him. Think about Rudzak and how to protect Dodsworth.

"You want me to come there?" Eve repeated. "Why?"

"Maggie. She's much better, but I need someone to take care of her while I'm gone."

"I thought it was a joke when you said you needed Jane to nurse your wolf."

"It was at the time. But not now. I need your help. Can you come?"

"Do you have to ask? You came when I needed you; you found my daughter. I'll be there on the next plane."

"Thank you. Will you have your mother take care of Jane and bring Joe?"

"I'll see if he can get away. But why should I bring Joe?"

"I'd feel better. I don't think there's any danger for you as long as we're not here, but I'd like to know Joe is with you."

"We? Who's with you?"

"Logan."

A pause. "Are you going to tell me what's happening?"

"As soon as you get here. But bring Joe if you can. Though I probably shouldn't tell you to do that. He's going to make you get right back on a plane to Atlanta as soon as I tell him about Rudzak." She rubbed her temple. "Well, maybe he should. We'll leave it up to him."

"You're being as clear as mud."

"That's what I'm wading in. I want you to know if you decide not to help me that it's okay. I'll understand and you mustn't feel obligated to--"

"Shut up. I'll call you when I find out when my plane will arrive in Phoenix." Eve hung up.

Sarah headed for the door to the living room. It was done. Now to find Galen.

But the living room was empty. "Galen!"