The Sea-Quel (2 page)

This guy was definitely the oldest person I had
ever
seen. Older than Gran, older than the crossing guard we have to help us cross the street outside school, even older than that
really
old guy in that alien movie who spent light years in suspended animation. He was wearing a battered green raincoat that looked as if it could keep out a flood. His head was covered with a flat cap, and what showed of his face looked like one of those 3-D maps of deserts that they have in school, showing sand dunes where his chin should be.

I suddenly realized why he looked familiar and was just about to tell Pradeep when he shot me a look that said, “He's like a lighthouse keeper from a
Scooby-Doo
cartoon. At some point this weekend he has to say, ‘I'd have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids!'”

I shot Pradeep a look that said, “YES!” and then one that said, “Hey, if he's the creepy bad guy, does that make us the meddling kids?”

“What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?” The ancient lighthouse keeper's voice cut through the fog like a pirate's rusty knife. He stared straight at Pradeep and me.

If this was a scary movie, this would be the point where you shout at the people in the movie to get back in their car and go home.

CHAPTER 3

THE OLD MAN OF THE SEA-QUEL

Pradeep opened his mouth. For a second I thought he was going to say, “If there was a cat hanging off my tongue, it probably would be hard to speak, not to mention very painful.” Instead he said, “I'm Pradeep and this is Tom, Sami, and Mark.” He smiled at the old man like he was talking to the head teacher in full trying-to-get-us-out-of-detention mode. That smarmy smirk is Pradeep's speciality. I don't know how many detentions he's got us out of with it, but it's gotta be in the hundreds.

“And I'm John and this is Baskhar,” added Dad.

The old man shook the dads' hands, then nodded over at us and grunted, “Better come in then.”

“In the sea, in the sea!” Sami bounced on her dad's shoulders.

“There's no going in the water at night.” The old man turned to Sami. “It's dangerous enough in the daytime, when you can see the eels … but at night they can sneak up on ya.”

“Do you mean the evil eel?” I piped up.

“Where did you hear about the evil eel?” He spun around and glared at me. “Has word of the monster spread to the cities?”

“Um, it was on the sign coming in,” Pradeep said. “So is it really evil or just mostly evil?”

Mark pulled his earbuds out of his ears. “There's an evil eel? Cool.”

“It is not cool, young man,” the lighthouse keeper growled. “It's evil and nasty and a danger to man and boat alike.”

“Cool,” Mark repeated, and put the earbuds back in.

The lighthouse keeper muttered something about “teenagers today” as we carried all our stuff into a large round living room at the bottom of the lighthouse.

As the lighthouse keeper stoked the fire, he told us more about the eel.

“A few months back the evil beast appeared. No one knows from where. He's the biggest eel ever to pass through these waters and has a jaw that can snap an oar in two.”

“Surely that's an exaggeration,” Pradeep's dad said, hugging Sami tightly as she sat on his lap.

The lighthouse keeper pulled out two pieces of an oar from under the couch. The thick wood had clearly been snapped by something with a huge mouth and lots of teeth. I decided that I didn't want to meet whatever did
that
to the oar.

“I'm sure he just tells these stories to keep the tourists interested,” my dad said, ruffling my hair and giving me a look that either said, “Don't worry, sport!” or, “Yum, Spam for dinner!” (I'm not really up on reading my dad's looks, and the two are pretty similar.)

“I wish it
was
just some story made up to bamboozle the likes of wide-eyed landlubbers like you,” the old man said. “But the truth is, it's kept most folk away. The monster keeps jumping out of the water, nearly capsizing the boats. People are scared to death of it. You're the only tourists booked this summer. If someone doesn't catch that evil eel soon, that'll be it for this lighthouse and for Eel Bay.”

Sami yawned and snuggled into her dad's shoulder.

“It looks like the little one is bored of all this talk about eels. So let's talk about dinner,” said the old man with a grin. “On the menu tonight … is eel pie and green jelly.”

Pradeep went green again and ran out the door.

CHAPTER 4

DOWNRIGHT DASTARDLY DEEDS

Pradeep and I threw our stuff on the bunk beds in our room near the top of the lighthouse. Then we opened the cooler and gave Frankie some food—green jelly that I'd snuck out from dinner. Being a zombie goldfish, Frankie eats only green food: mouldy bread, pond scum—the grosser the better.

As he gobbled up the green goo, we talked about the evil eel.

“Do you think an eel could really bite an oar in half like that?” I asked Pradeep.

“I've heard of conger eels that are over eight feet long,” he said.

I tried stepping across the floor to measure that out. Then I gave up. “How big is that?” I asked.

“It could hang off the basketball hoops at school and still touch the floor,” Pradeep answered.

I was trying to picture a mega-sized eel snapping an oar in two when we heard a stomping coming down the stairs. Mark was in the room above us, Pradeep's dad and Sami were below us, and Dad was below them, next to the old lighthouse keeper's room. I saw his bedroom door when I helped Dad carry up the bags.

It had a big sign on it that said,
NO MEDDLING KIDS!
with a smaller sign nailed on top saying,
EVER!

Mark stomped into the room without knocking, almost flattening Pradeep as he kicked open the door.

“Morons,” he said, “you're not gonna wreck my vacation and you are not gonna wreck my evil plan. Got it?”

“We don't even know what your evil plan is, so how can we wreck it?” I said.

“You won't ever guess what it is, 'cause it's way too evil and sinister and …
dastardly
,” Mark replied.

“Did you just use the word
dastardly
in real life?” Pradeep asked.

“It's the word of the day on the calendar that came free with
Evil Scientist
magazine.” Mark scowled. “Anyway, it doesn't matter 'cause my evil plan to catch the evil eel is
so
secret…” He stopped and banged his palm against his forehead. “Look, just stay out of it. Or else!” He leaned over me menacingly and the millipedes in my stomach not only woke up but started having a party. This wasn't good.

Just as Mark was about to show Pradeep and me what he meant by “Or else!” Frankie jumped out of the cooler, whacked Mark across the face with his tail and flipped back into the chilly water.

“What the…?” Mark stumbled back. “You brought the moron goldfish!” Then he rubbed his hands together. “Even better. Now I can flush that stupid fish once and for all.”

“No, wait!” I shouted. “If you leave Frankie alone, then we won't tell Dad that you're going to catch the evil eel.” It wasn't the best deal, but it was all I could come up with at the time.

“We promise not to try to stop you, but maybe you should leave it alone, Mark,” Pradeep said. “The eel could be dangerous.”

Ever since he became an Evil Scientist when he got a chemistry set from our grandparents and tried to toxic-gunk Frankie to death, Mark has had the creepiest Evil Scientist laugh.

“You've got a deal, morons.” He grinned. “Just keep the fish away from me, or he might end up as eel bait.” Then he laughed his biggest Evil Scientist laugh
ever
, which in that creepy old lighthouse sounded off-the-chart scary: “Mwhahahahahahahahahaha!”

Frankie thrashed around in the cooler and glared his hypno-green stare at Mark. Normally, a stare like that would have someone hypnotized and under Frankie's control in a second, but Mark just stared back at him and grinned. “Ha! Patented Evil Scientist hypnotic-stare-repellent contact lenses, so don't even bother, fish!” Then he strode out of the room and slammed the door.

Pradeep and I stared at the door for a second before either of us spoke.

“So, there's an evil eel out to get everybody, an Evil Scientist out to get the evil eel, and a zombie goldfish out to get the Evil Scientist,” I said. “This vacation gets more like a
Scooby-Doo
episode every second.”

CHAPTER 5

DO THE ZOMBIE-ZOMBIE SHAKE

The next day started with a
thud!
and an
ugh!

The
thud!
was the sound of me rolling out of the top bunk and landing on the floor next to Pradeep, who had rolled out of his bunk too.

The
ugh!
was the sound I made as I got up and rubbed my head.