She walked across the room, feeling like she’d been through World War III and was not quite sure if she was a survivor or not. Yet neither she nor
She rubbed her eyes with thumb and forefinger, feeling tired despite the fact she’d woken from what amounted to a longish evening nap and that it still wasn’t all that late. Sh
In his eyes, she had no right or reason to make a mockery of him in that way. He’d gone to pains to marry a woman who would not do just that very thing. She remembered when he told her about his stepmother divorcing his father.
Which was exactly why she’d asked for a divorce, but he didn’t know that. Once he did, he would grasp for an end to their marriage grabbing a divorce with both hands.
She could not have handled the confrontation with him worse if she had tried. Instead of telling him of her condition and almost certain infertility, she had told him they had to divorce. While that might well be true, it was not the first thing she should have said to him.
He thought she’d brought up divorce because she wanted one, which could not be farther from the truth, but duty dictated she let go of the man she loved for both his greater good and that of his country. His final words before they were interrupted had said it all. He needed heirs. She could not guarantee providing them. The odds of conceiving were not good enough for a future king.
Those facts left her dreams in shambles around her feet. Why was life so hard? What had she done wrong to bring this kind of misery on herself? Her doctor had said it wasn’t personal, that endometriosis happened to lots and lots of women, but it felt personal to her.
Especially when the results of the disease were ripping her life apart into big jagged patches of pain and more pain.
And that was her only excuse for the way she’d handled the news. She was hurting so much, her usual diplomacy had completely deserted her. Her father would be so ashamed, but then he’d never been overly impressed with her to begin with.
In his eyes, she’d always had two strikes against her…she’d been born female and she had no interest in politics. No matter how pleased Mother had been, the fact that
Regardless of
Psychologists said that women often married men like their fathers and she’d been determined not to. She had always believed that she had succeeded in marrying a man very different, but now she realized she’d done exactly what she’d sworn not to. She’d married a man who was no more enamored of her person than her father was.
Looking back over almost three years of marriage, she saw that
She couldn’t even blame him for deceiving her, the delusion had been entirely self-perpetuating. But acknowledging that did not make the pain of realization any less.
Talk about being an idiot. She had that role down to an art and admitting it hurt almost as much as
And his attitude had been nothing less than that. He wanted to keep their marriage intact, but only for the sake of his own pride and for the baby he expected her to give him. Not because he wanted to keep her as his wife. Not because she meant anything to him.
She shivered, her entire body shaking violently and she realized she was very cold. It was a chill that came from deep inside, but nevertheless she got up and pulled the blanket from the bed to wrap up in as if it might help. It didn’t.
Feeling so torn apart standing was not an option, she sat back down in the armchair…and waited.
She didn’t know how long she sat there, thoughts skittering through her brain. It could have been a few minutes, or as long as an hour, but at some point he came back into the room, his expression one she had never seen on his face before.
“Get dressed.”
Chapter 4
“What? Why?” Was he kicking her out of the suite because she’d asked for a divorce? No, that made no sense.
“We have to fly back to Lo Paradiso immediately.”
She jumped up from the chair, holding the blanket tight around her like a shield. “Is something wrong?”
“My father had a heart attack.”
“No.” Not King
“He is stable, but requires a bypass surgery. He is in the hospital,”
“Where is your brother?”
“On his way now that I have called him. Papa refused to have him called and allowed me to be contacted only after he had stabilized. Had you been there, this would never have happened.”
She gasped. “You cannot blame me for him having a heart attack.”
“No, but had you been there, you would have contacted my brothers and myself despite my father’s wishes. He could not have ordered you like a servant.”
“Are you sure about that?” Perhaps the king would not have ordered her compliance like that of an employee, but she cared for him and might well have acquiesced for the sake of his stress levels.
But then she acknowledged, she would have somehow managed to do what she thought was best…which would probably have been to call
She had decided against that course of action out of a need to protect him.
“Yes, I am certain. You would have contacted me, even if Papa had not known you had done it,”
He did not know of her love for him and could not care less about its existence, she painfully admitted to herself.
“You have been contacted now,” she pointed out.
“What if he had died? What if it is worse than he told me that it is?”
“I could not have controlled either of those outcomes and I have no doubt you have spoken to the doctor already and know exactly the extent of your father’s illness.”
“I have and it is not good. You should have been there,” he repeated as if that betrayal was as bad as her request for a dissolution to their marriage.
“You’re not being fair. You know I felt I had to come. I needed to talk you.”
“About breaking your promises to me. And yet you had already decided before I returned to the hotel suite tonight that the discussion could wait. What was so imperative was not really that important to you at all. You left on a selfish whim and my father paid because of it. I made a huge miscalculation when I asked you to marry me,” he said in a final slash of derision.
However, she was too inured by her own anger at his reaction to the news of his father’s illness to experience the pain his words would have caused a few short hours ago. “I can see how you might think that way,” she said with a sigh. “But there are things I still have to tell you.”
“I do not want to hear them.”
“You need to.”
The disdain in his expression said it all. He was listening to her explanations when hell froze over. “I am leaving here in ten minutes. If you wish to go with me, be dressed.”
* * * * *
When had she ever given
Didn’t she, as his wife, deserve even a little understanding in that regard? But he’d made it clear…she was a princess, first, last and always to him. Her role of wife was always overshadowed by her primary role as his future queen. The knowledge shredded what was left of her feminine ego.
She had shown the temerity to reorganize her schedule for something she felt was important and he had gone ballistic. Not only that, he just assumed that her reasons for saying they needed to divorce had to be spurious and selfish ones. Why? She had given him everything she had to give as his wife, even if he had not realized it. When had she ever made any choice related to him out of selfishness? Even her decision to marry him had been made with the knowledge that she could be the kind of wife he wanted.
She had loved him, but she would not have married him knowing he did not love her if she had believed she would not be the right kind of wife for him. Looking back at how much she had agonized over what was best for him and how little time she had spent worrying on her own behalf, she wondered if she was some kind of masochist or a real idiot, or both.
But then she’d spent her whole life trying to please other people. First her parents, each of whom had a different agenda for her life. She’d fulfilled her mother’s because it had seemed the only one she had a chance at succeeding at.
Mother had said time and again that
Those attributes had won
She remembered