The Scientist and the Supermodel (14 page)

Lydia continued like her middle son wasn’t melting down. “Right now I want to know why you’re not happy, Caleb. What made you get so drunk it took three men to get you home?”

“Charlie left me.”

“Your roommate?”

“My lover.”

“Ah. Well, dear, Charlie is a nice boy.”

“He said I didn’t love him because I wouldn’t come out and tell people he was my boyfriend.”

“And is that true?”

“Yeah, I didn’t tell you or my coach or the team.”

“No, I mean is he right that you didn’t love him?”

Cal looked stunned at the thought. He cocked his head and stared at his mother. “Sure I did, uh, do. I thought I did.”

“I’m certainly not trying to talk you out of your love, Caleb, but why did you hide it? If you were proud of your relationship, wouldn’t you have told us?”

“Shit, I don’t know.”

“You and Charlie have been friends a while now. If you thought it was serious, don’t you think you would have found a way to tell your family?”

“I really liked having somebody close by to fu—uh, have sex with.”

“Well dear, having regular sex is a happy thing, not to be sneezed at. But I’ve met Charlie a few times, and while I like him as your friend, I think he may not be destined to be your life partner. He’s young. Maybe it’s appropriate that he get some more experience on this earth before he settles down. Meanwhile, you look for a relationship that offers you more of what Jake and Roan have.” She smiled at Roan, who seemed to want to run as badly as Jake. “As for telling people you’re gay, I think you define being gay, not the other way around. You’re six feet four, you like broccoli, and you prefer to have sex with men. What’s to hide?”

Caleb grabbed his mother and hugged her until Jake feared for her respiration. Jake felt like he’d been kicked in the head.

Chapter Fifteen

Roan looked sick to his stomach. Jake knew just how he felt. If he was really gay, or bisexual—whatever—wouldn’t he feel relief at knowing his parents were okay with it all? Instead, it felt like somebody stepped on his head.

Lydia rose and moved toward the kitchen. “I’m going to finish cleaning up.” She turned. “Jacob, did you want to talk to me?”

Jesus, was he five? “What about?”

“You tell me. C’mon.”

Roan stood. “I should go.”

His mom shook her head. “Unlike my son, I can’t tell you what to do, dear. But I would very much appreciate it if you would stay awhile.”

Crap. Roan sat right back down. Like his mommy told him to. They were both reverting to the womb.

As he obediently followed his mother to the old-fashioned kitchen, he heard his dad say, “You guys want to watch the rest of the game?”

And Roan, the traitor, said, “Sure, Burt, let’s watch some basketball.” This day was fucking weird.

In the kitchen, his mom starting cleaning up counters that weren’t dirty. Jake leaned against the refrigerator and practiced not looking defensive. “What d’ya want to talk about?”

His mom rinsed a couple dishes that were probably unused they were so clean. “Jacob, you were upset when I said you were bisexual. Why?”

“Because I’m not, I mean wasn’t…until Roan.”

She turned on him. “So you just thought that one day you saw this beautiful man and fell in love and suddenly became gay?”

“Not exactly, and I’m not fucking in love.”

She stepped into his space. “Jacob Martin, your capacity to fool yourself is unmatched in human history. You’ve spent all these years dating girls who didn’t suit you and denying you had any attraction to men, thereby limiting your potential partners by half.” She brandished a spoon, her voice rising. “You’ve convinced yourself that Tom was just a pal that, oh by the way, you happened to have sex with.”

“We never had sex, dammit.”

“No. What do you call it, then?”

“He used to suck—I mean give me oral sex to relax me. That’s all.”

Her mouth actually hung open. “Jacob, a man who accepts a blowjob from another man and doesn’t return it is like a man who has sex with his wife and doesn’t care if she comes. But it’s still
sex
!”

Who the hell was she talking to?

She didn’t let up. “And now you’re trying to tell yourself that this wonderful man who clearly loves you with his whole heart is just somebody you like to fuck!”

Jake stared at her like she was a snake that somehow ate his mother. Anger rose in his throat. He leaned into her face. “Yes,
Mother
, that’s exactly what I’m telling you. He’s somebody I like to fuck.”

He heard the sound behind him and didn’t want to turn around. Didn’t want to see. The gasp pulled him, and he faced Roan, who looked like someone had hit him. Hard. Shit. Jake knew who’d hit him.

How Roan got the polite words out, Jake would never know. “Thank you, Mrs. Martin. You’ve been so kind to me. William is here, and I’ll go now.”

“Oh, Roan.” She moved toward him, but he held up his hand.

“I hope I’ll see you and Mr. Martin again sometime.”

Jake watched him turn. Watched him walk into the dining room out of his sight. His chest tightened. Pain. He couldn’t breathe. He pictured Roan going out the door. Saw him driving to the city to his loft, where Jake would no longer be welcome. No Roan. He hadn’t understood. Hadn’t known what it would mean. No Roan. Over. Gone.

He looked up at his mother, who simply stared at him. Her expression was half anger and half compassion, but she said nothing. He was on his own.

No. He wasn’t alone. He had another half. Roan. The other half. The missing heart.

He didn’t know how he got to the front door. Roan was halfway down the walk to the town car. William was coming toward him, and when he saw Jake, he frowned. Clearly, Jake could expect a right hook from a very upset chauffeur. He didn’t give a shit; he deserved it. It would feel good.

His heart poured out his mouth. “Roan. Please don’t go!”

The man paused, then kept on walking.

“Please, I don’t want you to go.”

Not even a pause.

Jake jumped off the porch and raced down the walk, grabbing Roan’s shoulder. William rushed toward him, fists clenched, but Roan put up his hand, and the man backed off.

Jake softened his hold and caressed Roan’s soft hair. “Baby, please. I’m so sorry. I don’t want you to go.”

He didn’t turn. “Why?”

“I didn’t mean what I said. I mean, I do love to fuck you, but that’s not all. I love being with you, and talking to you, and eating your wonderful food, and sleeping next to you.”

“Why?”

Jake pulled away. Damn the man. “What do you mean why? Because you’re wonderful and smart and funny and charming.”

Finally Roan turned. “Yes, so are a lot of people. Like Emmaline, for example.”

Shit. “You can’t blame me for loving her.”

“No, Jake, I can’t. But I can keep you from using me as a convenient substitute.” He turned back toward the car.

“No, Roan. Please.” He grabbed his arm again.

This time Roan put his hand over Jake’s and pulled his fingers away. The tears flowed again. “Stop this. What the fuck do you want from me? You’ve ripped me apart, and now you want to eat the pieces. I can’t let you and still survive.”

Jake gazed into the green eyes, now tinged pink from crying. It was like some kind of fucking sunrise. What was he trying to do to his life? Live in perpetual fantasy and denial when it was clear to everyone that all he wanted or needed was right here? “I love you.”

Roan shook his head and turned away. “Give it up, Jake.”

Jake grabbed him and pulled him around and into his arms. William was serious about killing him this time, but Jake held on. “No, you’re going to listen. I know I’m a fucking idiot. That I’m an empirical researcher who lives in fantasyland. I love you. I’ve loved you since the day you sucked my cock in my hotel room in LA.”

The reply was muffled against Jake’s shoulder. “I know. But I didn’t think you ever would.”

“I don’t want to live without you because I love you.” He held his lover tight and realized that was the answer he’d been looking for. That was what he wanted forever.

William had stopped his potential assault a couple feet away. “You okay, Roan?”

He shook his head and snuffled like a little girl. “Yeah. Maybe better than ever.”

William laughed and started toward the car.

Lydia’s voice called from the porch. “No, William, come in and have some coffee.”

“Thank you, ma’am. I will.” He headed toward the house.

Jake looked over Roan’s shoulder to see the whole family on the small porch. He whispered in Roan’s ear. “Doesn’t look like we get to escape.”

“That’s okay. I’ll take all your mother’s advice I can get.”

* * *

Jake cuddled his lover in the backseat of the town car. He pressed his lips to the man’s cheek and felt the lightest peach fuzz stubble. It had been a long time since either of them shaved. Nibbling as he went, he slowly worked his way down Roan’s neck, breathing into his ear and letting his tongue follow his breath. Roan rewarded him with soft sighs and moans.

They’d extricated themselves from Jake’s family a little before noon. The morning had been entirely surreal. Both he and his brother were well and seriously out to their families. Burt had taken Jake aside and told him how happy he was that Jake had found such a great partner. Then he confessed he’d thought the reason Jake never seemed to stay with one woman long was because he had a yen for Emmaline. Talk about choke. But his dad didn’t notice and seemed to love having another basketball fan in the family.

Emmaline. He had to tell her about Roan. They weren’t just research partners, they were friends. Yeah, and
friends
was all they’d ever be now. He’d be lying if he said that didn’t sting, but he’d made his choice. He realized that even if Em threw herself at him, he couldn’t live his life without Roan. He pulled his lover’s head up for a kiss and felt that wonderful surrender. No woman he’d ever known melted like his beautiful boy lover.

They were now driving on a secret mission of Roan’s that the man was not revealing.

“Okay, you tease, tell me.”

“Then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

“Tell me.” Jake pounced on Roan and began to tickle him. Roan’s shouts prompted William to speak through the intercom. “You two killing each other back there?”

“Yes,” Roan shrieked. “Save me.”

“Tickle his feet, Jake. That’ll get him.”

“Traitor!”

William laughed and clicked off the intercom.

Jake made one more attack but was reminded of how strong his lover actually was when he got pushed back onto the seat and Roan landed on top of him. The beautiful soft lips closed over his, and Jake no longer cared about tickle fights. They’d managed to open each other’s flies and were about to get busy sucking when William announced, “Roan, we’re almost there.”

“Noooo,” Jake moaned.

“Oh, so now you’re not so anxious to know the surprise? I’ll tell William to keep driving.”

Roan reached for the intercom, and Jake grabbed his hand. “I want the surprise, but then I get to suck your cock all the way home.”

“You don’t hear me objecting, do you?”

Jake tried to shove his hard cock back into his pants and then zipped up with some difficulty—of course, not as much difficulty as Roan. He looked out the window and saw a lot of trees but not much hint of where they were.

They’d both managed to get presentable when the car turned onto a long driveway. Jake had his nose pressed to the window. He felt like a kid. “Where are we?”

“You’ll see.”

After at least a quarter mile, the car pulled into a circular drive with a small pond in the middle and stopped.

Jake jumped out the door. Straight ahead was a house, obviously still under construction but already detailed enough to know it was modern, dominated by glass and stone, and beautiful.

“Roan, what is this?”

His lover walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Jake’s waist.

“Your home, I hope.” Jake looked back over his shoulder into the smiling green eyes. Roan kissed him gently. “I had my eye on this property for a long time. I started building a spec house I planned to sell. But then I met you, and suddenly this place just seemed like home to me. If you’re in it, that is.”

“It’s so beautiful.”
Like you.

“I purposely left it unfinished on the chance that you might help me make the last decisions and choices. Thought for a while there I’d have to finish it myself.”

Jake looked down. “Sorry, Roan. I’m an idiot.”

“C’mon, idiot.”

Roan walked him into the mostly completed structure. The entry was unpolished stone, and there was a long thin pond without water in it yet. They looked at the great room with its soaring wall of glass that made the huge trees outside seem part of the indoors. The kitchen was enormous but only sketched in so far.

Roan gestured excitedly. “And I want a six-burner gas stove and double ovens. And there’ll be an island with a prep sink.”

Jake laughed. “We’re both gonna get fat.”

“Yes, and won’t it be fun!”

Roan showed Jake his office with a beautiful view of the surrounding forest, and then they walked up framed-in stairs to a huge room with a view that was described by Roan as “their room.” Roan described the bed and gave Jake a wonderfully lascivious description of all they would do in it.

Jake sat down in the middle of the floor. “Roan, I can’t believe this. It’s too much.”

“Why, love?” He sat beside him.

“I can’t let you do this. I don’t make enough to pay my share.”

“Hey, baby.” Roan tugged on Jake’s chin until he stared into the green eyes. “You may be a top, but you gotta let me take care of you a little too.”

Jake waved his hand. “This isn’t a little.”

“It is to me, Jake.” This statement was soft.

“You can really afford all this?”

“More than. And what the fuck good does it do me if I can’t share it with the one I love?”

Jake looked around. “I love it. I can’t imagine a more beautiful place, as long as you’re here.”

“Always.” Roan kissed Jake gently. “I have a little more to show you.”

“What, the bathroom with hot and cold running Grecian slave girls? Uh, boys?”

“Better. Come on.”

Holding his hand, Roan guided Jake out of their bedroom and across the open area to another room. Jake looked around. It was a lovely room with a big walk-in closet. “What’s this?”

Roan took a deep breath. “I think it’s Em’s room.”

“What?”

Roan took Jake’s shoulders. “Baby, I think you love me. No, I know you love me, but I also know you love Em.”

Jake shook his head.

“I don’t expect you to be over your great forbidden love just because you fell in love with me. And like you said, if I get to know her, I’ll probably love her. After all, you do.” Jake started to speak, and Roan shushed him. “I’ve thought a lot about it. When we were together with Alex, I got to see what it was like to be with you and a woman. I enjoyed it, Jake, and I think you did too, even if you did freak.”

“I freaked because I enjoyed it so much. You were the key. Knowing you were there made being with the woman sexy. Like no other time in my life.”

“So maybe this room is just for Em to come visit us. And maybe it’s more.”

Jake gasped. “You’re shitting me? But Em would never agree to that. Would she?” Jake looked at the model. Jesus, he couldn’t resist Roan. Maybe Em would feel the same way.

“Who knows? Time will tell, my darling. Let’s finish the house first.”

* * *

Later that night at the condo, Jake gathered Roan into his arms. “Wow, what will it be like, sleeping in our bed in the new house?”

“Wonderful,” Roan murmured. “Just like this.”

God, they’d been kissing and sucking each other for hours, starting on the couch watching TV and now curled up in bed. Finally, he’d realized they both had to work tomorrow, and they’d had a busy day, so they turned in.