The Science of Loving (17 page)

“Hey you guys!” Baily squealed then three identical squeals echoed back—
motherfucker
—it was the heckler and friends. There was a brief whispered huddle then they broke, smiling as they walked over. Christ, this trip was rapidly devolving into a disaster.
Shit, maybe I should just grab Angie and run.

“Everyone, these are my friends, Tori, Suzi and Mandi. Girls this is Mat, and … everyone,” she said, making a vague gesture.
Was she too stupid to remember their names or just too rude to care?

“Hellooo ladies. I’m Avery, pleased to meet ya.”
Yeah, good luck with that.
My mom was looking nonplussed, and my dad’s bland expression told me Avery’d already made his shitlist.

“Hey. These are my folks, Carmen and Stewart. This is my sister’s boyfriend, Brett. You’ll get to meet Danny when she and my girl come back from the showers.” I put extra emphasis on
my girl;
I didn't want any misunderstandings. “Expecting anyone else?”

“Well maybe one or two other groups.” Groups?
Motherfucker
. When I glared at Mom and she had the decency to look abashed. “There’s this nice Canadian couple who just got married and another couple from Arizona visiting with their grandchildren.”

Brett strolled near, mumbling, “Danny so owes me.”

“Yeah, I think we need to check on them and make sure they’re okay, don’t you?”

“Absolutely.”

“Brett and I are going to check on the girls.”

“Great! We’ll come with.” Mandi grinned, grabbing one of the fem-bots. Tori I think.

“No, that’s all right.”
No fucking way.

“What if something’s wrong? You’ll need a girl to go in,” Tori said innocently.
Innocent my ass.

“If something’s wrong, being a guy isn’t going to stop me, and I sure as hell wouldn’t send a woman into an unknown situation.”

“We’ll just keep you company then.” Mandi chirped.

“Look, Brett and I need to speak privately. Why don’t you just stay here and keep Avery company.” Avery looked at me like I was Santa Claus; unfortunately, the fem-bots seem underwhelmed. He was already dusting off his best lines when I dragged Brett off before they could come up with any more excuses.
Fucking tool
.

“This is so fucked up,” Brett said, none too happy.

“Don’t I know it. Look Avery’s going to be trouble, especially once the liquor starts flowing. I know Danny can take care of herself, but I’m worried about Angie. I’m strongly considering bailing.”

“No man, no way. You can’t leave me with your folks. The whole point of me coming up here was because Danny wanted to give you guys some space.”

“Yeah, and I appreciate that. If it’s any consolation, Mom’s already had a sex talk with Angie, so it’s not like you’re special or anything.”

“Why is she still here?”

“I drove.”

“Yeah, but as smart as she is, I’m sure she could figure something out.”

“That’s true. She could probably just hot-wire my car.”

“That’s right. Dude, have you seen her ride?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s almost as sweet as she is.”

“I’m guessing I don’t have to warn you about Avery.” Danny fumed.

“Yeah, I’m sort of a magnet for his type. Promise you won’t leave me alone with him. Who knows, maybe he and Baily will hit it off.” But I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. “What do you want to bet those girls at the falls are her friends.”

“Yeah, I’ll take your skank and raise you three ho’s,” she snickered. “You know Mat’s crazy about you, right? You don’t have to worry about those chicks hitting on him, and they will hit on him.”

Danny’s faith in her brother made me feel a little more confident, but only a little. I had no claim on him after all. Heck, technically I wasn’t even his date. I was here at Danny’s invitation. So, we seemed to have some chemistry. And maybe it wasn’t all one sided, but Mom was right: When it came to brains vs beauty, beauty came out on top every time.

“He was always big for his age, ya know.” She added after a brief silence. “Growing up, people just assumed he was older. And after he hit puberty, he couldn’t go anywhere without people staring.”

“That must’ve been hard on him; being a kid, yet everyone expecting more.”

“Actually, he handled it all with pretty good humor. The women were what bothered him the most. I’m not talking about the girls at school, but their moms hitting on him, grown-ass women who should’ve known better. We used talked about it a lot ‘cause he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to be rude, but eventually it got so bad he stopped worrying about that, and began speaking his mind. Things got better after that, I guess he felt empowered.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t seem to have a problem being direct.” My face heated along with the rest of me, remembering just how direct he could be.

Even though I showered quickly, I took some extra time to shave and wash my hair. Just in case Mat decided to follow through on his threats, I didn't want sandpaper legs and smelly hair, especially with those bimbos hanging around.

“I’m surprised you don’t have the same problem.”

“Hey, I already told you I don’t swing that way.”

“I mean with guys… sheesh,”

“Naw, I purposely scare the shit out of them right out of the gate. Only dumbasses like Avery don’t know to leave well enough alone.”

“So what does that make Brett?”

“Brave, very brave.” Danny toweled off, finishing before me thanks to her bikini-waxer, and strolled outside.

When I finally walked out, I found Brett, Mat and Danny with their heads together. They broke apart as soon when they saw me. “There’s my girl,” Mat said, kissing my forehead. His smile seemed strained, not quite reaching his eyes.

“Remember those ho’s we were talking about? You were right, those are Baily’s friends.” I turned from a pissed-off looking Danny, searching Mat’s face for a moment—
Oh, God, she’d been wrong. He didn’t want me anymore
—I should’ve listened to Mom. It was happening just like she said. Now that he had a bunch of pretty coeds to choose from, I was just in the way.

“Well, maybe this is a good thing.” I looked down, trying to sound hopeful. “It gives Avery someone to bother other than us.”

“I can handle Avery if he tries anything with you. We stick together. If we need to go to the head, we go together,” he growled. “The thing is, these chicks are already starting the games.” He palmed my face, forcing my eyes up. “Look at me baby. Remember what I said at the falls? All I want is you, preferably naked, but I’ll take whatever I can get.”

Danny smirked an ‘I told you so’ at me.

“I don’t think I could handle being constantly hit on like you are.”

“It actually got worse after Danny started with the ink. I kinda hoped it’d scare them off. Unfortunately, bad boys are hot right now. And since I can’t hit a girl, I’m counting on you to protect me from those skanks concupiscent designs.”

“Concupiscent?” I said, bemused. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever heard that word used in a regular conversation before.”

“Yeah, you notice how smooth I slipped it in?” He leered. “With that big brain of yours, I’m trying to up my game.”

“So what do we do?”

“Spike their drinks with X-lax?” Danny said hopefully. God, that’s something Les would’ve suggested—only with Les you couldn’t be sure she was joking.

“We could. We could also end up serving two to seven for felony assault.” Mat conceded. “Plus, thanks to Danny, we had that whole: She’s a doctor and you’re stupid discussion, so now they’ll feel like they’ve got something to prove.” Danny responded by sticking her tongue out at him. “Nice comeback, brat.”

“Just bring up fruit flies and they’ll scatter, just like… flies.”
God, I sounded like such a dweeb
.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll protect you.” Danny gave Brett a loud smooch on the cheek. “I will fuck those bitches up MMA style ‘cause that’s just how I roll.”

Brett grinned watching her karate kick a bush. “I know a lot of guys that’d pay good money to see that.”

“Hell, I know a lot of girls that would pay good money to see that,” Danny replied.

Mat leaned down. “You do realize you’re hot, right? Way hotter than those fem-bots. All you have to worry about is what I’m going to do to you now that we have the tent to ourselves.” A chill ran down my spine as he nibbled my ear. “Have I mentioned I got a thing for dark haired, dark eyed beauties?”

“Yeah, you may have mentioned it a time or two,” I said with a shy smile.

It was late afternoon and the shadows were lengthening. There was a crowd of people sitting with my folks under the canopy. I assumed the two guys were the Canadians, and the family was with the Arizona grandparents. There was a boy that looked about eight wearing headphones, kicked back on a cooler playing with his cell, and Avery, the fem-bots and a teenage girl were on the opposite side of camp sitting at the picnic table.

There was a sudden blood-curdling scream slicing through my skull that only little girls of about four could make. She stared at me in horror then dashed to hide behind a middle-aged woman sitting with my folks.
Motherfucker, I hated when that happened.

“Smart kid,” I muttered out of the corner of my mouth.

“Right, like you’d hurt a little girl,” Angie’s punch to my arm was more of a tap as if she were afraid those tiny fists of her could actually hurt me.

“Oh, you’ll find out soon enough little girl, just how good I can hurt,” I growled. Her eyes widened; she looked away with roses blooming on her cheeks.
Sweet
.

“Yo, Biggie, the kid obviously isn’t a Shrek fan.”

“Hush-up, Donkey.”

“Here they are now. The scary one’s my son Mat.” Mom laughed. “The little doll is his girlfriend, Angie; the Amazon, also mine, is Danny; and the other handsome young man is her boyfriend, Brett.” I nodded to them as Angie’s grip tightened in my hand. “This is the Canadian couple I told you about, Miles and Joe.”

“Congratulations,” I said, shaking their hands across the table.

“And these are the Garrisons, Mark and his wife, Sarah; their son and daughter in-law, John and Wendy; their grandchildren, Carrie, over there with Avery and the girls, Brian, and you heard little Megan.”

I sat down on the ground near to where Megan cowered behind her mom. “Hey Princess. Those are some great pipes you got there.” I said softly. When she peeked out with huge eyes, I smiled. “You’re not going to hurt me are you? ‘Cause it hurts my feelings when pretty princesses are scared of me. I may be big and ugly on the outside, but inside, I’m just a big softy.”

I waited as she considered me, and everyone else waited with me, watching to see what she’d do. My ink caught her eye. I saw an internal battle wage on her face, her uncertainty versus her natural curiosity. She inched out a little more to get a better look, and I held my arms out so she could see. “You like my ink?” She nodded. “Check it; my sister did these for me. You can touch them if you like. See the fish swimming up my arms?”

She edged forward and reached out a tentative hand, touching the fish on my forearm, her eyes occasionally darting to my face before returning to my ink. She got bolder. I chuckled when she reached my neck, pretending it tickled, and got a giggle in return. Then she stepped in. Using my ears like handles, she put her face right in mine.

“Are you a Genie?”

“Like from Aladdin?” She nodded. “No I’m an ogre.” I said, smirking at Danny. “But I never eat princesses, and I only eat pretty little girls when they ask me real nice.” I gave Angie a sultry look.

“Why would girls ask you to eat them?”

“Because I only nibble a little and it tickles. Will you be my friend?” I held out my hand. She thought about it then nodded, giving me a solemn handshake. “I’m going to stand up now so don’t be scared, okay?”

“Another conquest son.” I dusted off my butt and grinned at him. Everyone was smiling, and Megan’s folks looked kinda surprised.

“Anyone else besides me need a beer?” Danny asked. Six hands went up. Yes, we liked our beer.