The School Gates (17 page)

‘Have you tackled him about the money yet, then?’

‘No, he’s changed his number. Ffion was obviously getting too clingy.’

‘Chip off the old block eh?’ Joan winced. ‘Sorry, Mo, that was out of order.’

‘Actually, I can’t agree or disagree. Ron isn’t Charlie’s dad.’

‘Oh – my – God!’ Joan exclaimed in slow motion. ‘Bloody hell, Mo Collins, you’re a dark horse.’

‘It’s not something to shout about, is it really. I’ve kept it to myself until this year. But I know I can trust you, Joan.’

Joan felt slightly sick.

‘So, he is a chip off the old block really, I guess,’ Mo concluded after telling Joan the whole story. His dad had been a tearaway. A beautiful, dark-haired lovable rogue. ‘He had the face of an angel, but the mind of a devil,’ she said dreamily. ‘But how I loved that boy. I’ve never ever known sex like it. Full body-and-soul stuff. I know we were only young but the passion was incredible. In fact, I cannot believe that at seventeen I was sensible enough to let my head rule my heart and make the decision to tell Ron that he was Charlie’s father.’

‘Have you ever thought of contacting him?’

‘God no! I’ve got enough drama in my life without opening up another can of worms. Sometimes I think it’s better to keep quiet about certain things and I know for sure this is one of them.’

Mo said ruefully, ‘Charlie would never forgive me and I couldn’t bear to ever lose him, as much as he drives me to distraction sometimes.’

Joan went quiet.

‘You OK, Joanie?’

‘Yes, fine – was just thinking. You’re right. Sometimes it is so much better to never tell. You only salve your own guilt by opening up to others, and that is selfish. If there’s no need to hurt someone else, then don’t.’

It started spotting with rain.

‘Come on, kids,’ Joan shouted across the park to the children. ‘Home time.’

Mo smiled down at a now – sleeping Cissy.

‘Thanks for listening, Joan.’

‘Hey, that’s what friends are for.’ She squeezed Mo’s arm and prayed that Charlie Collins would never ever divulge their own dirty little secret.

– Chapter Fourteen –

‘P Day tomorrow isn’t it?’ Mark announced over breakfast.

‘Yes.’ Dana couldn’t actually believe that Mark, being a typical man, had actually remembered the date.

‘Do you feel any different?’

‘Boobs are a bit sore and I’m feeling a bit tired, but nothing different to usual really.’ Dana played it down. She actually did feel a little bit nauseous this morning and the excitement was welling inside of her. She couldn’t wait to confirm her pregnancy. She had enjoyed every little twinge she had felt with Tommy. Such was the love she had felt for her unborn child, she had even delighted in seeing her slim tummy expanding day by day.

Mark got up, stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her tiny waist. He kissed her on the neck.

‘I just know that you are.’

‘Yuk.’ Tommy dropped his spoon in to his cereal bowl with a loud clink. ‘Why don’t you get a room.’ And with that he got up and skulked to his bedroom, leaving both Dana and Mark open-mouthed.

The next morning, Dana awoke at 5.a.m. Later, reliving this moment over and over in her head, she could scarcely believe she had actually managed to get to sleep. Deep down, she just knew she was pregnant and the test was merely a formality.

She thought back to when she did the test for Tommy. It had been such wrong timing but she had been so in love with Mark, that she knew that whatever happened, everything would be OK.

IVF was a funny phenomenon. There were no surprises. Everything was regimented. You knew the day of conception exactly. You knew the precise day to do the test. There could be no surprises on your due date.

She opened the white box that was already set on the side of the sink and pulled out one of the two tests. She had ummed and aahed about getting just one test but it was only an extra pound for a second go so she thought she might as well – just in case she couldn’t wait until the correct day of testing.

She reread the instructions, held the stick in the warm stream of strong early morning pee, pulled up her knickers and began the longest wait a woman ever has to face.

These days there wasn’t even the uncertainty of a faint blue line. No need to hold the white plastic wand of fate up to the light, no need to wait just a minute more to see if the line got darker, the longer you left it. No, these days the words NOT PREGNANT screamed out from the test. Relief if that was the desired state. Devastation if it wasn’t.

Dana sat on the side of the bath. She felt numb. She felt sick. She felt desperate. All that anticipation. All that excitement. She has been so sure that she was expecting a girl. They had even chosen a name – Scarlet Elizabeth.

Her sobbing was as loud as the pain in her heart.

‘Oh darling,’ Mark opened the door, knelt down and nestled his wife’s head to his chest.‘Why didn’t you wait for me before you did it?’

‘I was just so sure,’ Dana blubbed. ‘I’m sorry I’m so useless – and what a waste of all that money.’

‘Don’t be so silly. You are not useless. We have one beautiful son together and Sidney loves you too. If that is what our family is to be, then that’s it.’

Dana wished she could look at things so clearly but she couldn’t. All those injections, scans and invasive procedures, for what?

She longed for another baby and nothing anyone said could change her mind.

Emily Pritchard – Head of PTA, Netball Coach and Mother of Joshua P seven, chief swot and playground kisser – noticed Dana’s husband dropping young Tommy off.

‘Pregnant at last, is she?’ Emily sneered with no grounds at all for her comment other than school-gates gossip.

Mark Knight was horrified. ‘No, Emily, not pregnant, just unwell and I’d rather you kept personal comments like that to yourself in future.’

The unpleasant woman teetered smugly back to her convertible as Tommy waved wildly to his dad on entering his classroom.

Alana had also overhead the comment and had jumped at the word pregnant. Still no word from Stephen either. Thank God he was due to return to work tomorrow. She would drive to his office if necessary.

‘All set for tonight?’ Joan patted Mo on the arm.

‘For three months of misery eating just dust, you mean?’ Mo laughed. ‘I am eating as many biscuits and crisps as I can today before the weigh-in so at least next week I’ll be in with a chance of losing something.’

‘Oh, Mo.’

‘Oh nothing, Joanie. I am so up for the big dress drop challenge, but just give me one little day of pleasure as I know it’s going to be hell on a bread stick.’

Inga stood at the end of the school drive and kissed the twins on their foreheads. ‘See you later. Remember we are at Joshua’s tonight as I am babysitting you all.’

‘Cool,’ the girls piped up together.

‘So your agreed goal weight is ten and a half stone then, Mo – smashing, smashing.’ Sally, the weirdly rather large Weight Busters team leader, with thick, long dark hair and even thicker eyeliner, had a very enthusiastic voice.

‘Smashing, smashing,’ Joan mocked behind her back.

‘And yours is, now what shall we say.. .ten stone, Joan? Realistic and smashing, yes smashing.’

‘Smashing,’ repeated Joan. ‘We really are raring to go, aren’t we, Mo?’

Mo was feeling decidedly queasy after all the goodies she had consumed at work and nodded slowly, trying not to burp.

‘Now ladies, I suggest you stay for the meeting so you can pick up any hints and tips from our other lovely Weight Busters. Welcome to the group,’ her voice went up an octave, ‘and remember, ladies, what are wheat and fats?’

‘The foods of Satan!’ everyone in the room shouted together.

Joan looked at Mo and made a face at this comment. Blimey, maybe they did beat you to death with bread sticks if you went off course.

They chatted quietly as they sat in a semi-circle of chairs waiting for everyone to be weighed. The actual recipe sheets they had been given didn’t actually look too calorie sparing, maybe this wasn’t going to be as hard as Mo thought.

Feeling slightly bored, Joan looked over at the weigh-in queue. The only man in the room put his socked feet onto the scales. Mo craned forward to take a closer look. No! It couldn’t be, surely! Her heart did a 100 mile dash around her ribs, causing her to heave in a deep intake of breath.

Those velvety brown eyes, with to-die-for lashes, were now set in a much fatter face but were still framed by that recognisable black curly hair. Even steely, smashing Sally Curtis was getting giggly at his obvious flirtation.

‘Joan, we have to go.’

‘Eh? Why?’

‘Now!’ Mo’s voice sounded alien.

Joan had to wait until they were safely on the train back to Denbury before she could get any sense out of her obviously troubled friend.

‘So come on, what the deuce is wrong with you? I mean, I know they weren’t all our sort of people but I think it would have made sense to stay.’

‘It was him. Standing there, bold as brass.’

‘Who, Mo?’

‘After twenty-four years. I can’t believe it. I really can’t believe it.’

‘Are you sure you haven’t been eating some sort of opiates with your cakes today?’

‘Joanie, it was Charlie’s dad!’

‘Oh my God, how weird is that? I thought he lived miles away.’

‘To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about his life now.’

‘It’s quite lovely really,’ Joan added. ‘I mean, what’s the chance of bumping into your childhood sweetheart after all those years?’

‘Sweet is not the word for Charlie Lake. And if I was going to bump into him again, it would have been nice to have happened somewhere more romantic than a bloody fat club.’

Mo turned to her friend. ‘I’m not joking, but even after all this time my heart literally leaped.’

‘Aw, maybe you should have spoken to him, not run a million miles an hour to get away from him then.’

‘No. I can’t talk to him. I mean, what would I say? He knew nothing of Charlie and I can’t just make idle chat with the man. I could so see my boy in him, it was ridiculous. So bloody typical that he’s the only man with all those women. He hasn’t changed – still a womaniser, albeit a fatter one now.’

‘So, does that mean that after all this effort we won’t be going back to Weight Busters next week?’

‘Hmm. I’ve got a week to worry about it now. Let’s get home and eat some dust – I’m starving.’

‘Come on, Mo, it’s not that bad. Mushroom omelette and salad we can have tonight, that’s all right.’

‘All right? That’s smashing.’ They both laughed.

‘Thanks for always supporting me, Joanie.’

‘I believe that’s what friends are for. Now, no cheating, you.’

Mo pushed open the lounge door – no sign of Ron. She was so used to seeing him slumped drunk on the sofa, it felt strange.

She went straight up to Rosie’s bedroom and there he was sitting by the little girl’s bed, stroking her hair and reading her a bedtime story. He looked up and smiled a smile Mo had not seen for quite some time.

Maybe, just maybe she had made the right decision all

those years ago after all.

‘Mummy, your tummy bug is lasting a long time. Maybe you should go and see a doctor.’ Eliska faced Alana as she came out of the toilet after being sick for the fifth time that morning.

‘Oh darling, let me give it another day. I will be able to take you to school again though, so that’s a good thing.’

‘Yeah!’ Eliska spun around in the hallway. Since Stephen’s harsh words about her parenting skills, and their bonding trip to Lapland, Alana had really been trying to make an effort with her one and only.

Today was the day and she couldn’t be sure that it wasn’t nerves that were actually making her sick this morning. She would get Eliska to school, she decided, then she would call. She had never missed anyone like she had missed Stephen over the past few weeks, and she couldn’t work out if this was a good feeling to have or not. She so hated being out of control. It was so against her grain.

Alana put the kettle on. A ginger tea would settle her queasiness. Talking of ginger, she was probably the only mother alive to be literally praying that the little child growing within her did have ginger hair. She so didn’t want it to be the product of a one-night stand with that Italian Stallion at Rosco’s. In her own mind, she didn’t think that it was a one-night stand with Stephen because she knew him so well and he was, after all, the father of her firstborn. And, in being away from him for so long, she experienced something which she hadn’t felt for years. She felt love.

She truly, properly loved this good, kind man. In fact, if she knew 100 per cent that the baby was Stephen’s there would be no doubt in her mind that she would want to keep it. A little brother or sister for Eliska would make her daughter so happy and then the chance of her being with Stephen would be much greater.

The turmoil within in her was so great but until that little bundle appeared, how would she know whose baby it was? She literally had slept with Bruno and Stephen days apart. Oh why oh why did she not think to use a condom? Bloody drink! Bloody stupidity.