The Saxon Bride (The Norman Conquest Series) (24 page)

His body stiffened. The words were true enough but not what he now felt in his heart. He had wanted her to love him back
.

"Had I known you as the man that you
verily are, not the Norman soldier that others see, I would have willingly come to you in the chapel and spoken my vows to you. I would have willingly taken you as my husband. I will be here when you return."

John
searched her face and saw the longing there. She longed for his company. He was torn between his duty and his own desires. He wanted her as his wife as well. He leaned forward, taking her hand to his lips and kissing it lightly. "I do not wish to leave again. If I could stay now, I would. You may trust in that."

He kissed the palm of her hand then
placed it against his cheek. She held his gaze and nodded. "I will trust in that."

The dark enveloped
John and his soldiers as they moved soundlessly, spreading out around the remains of the former abbey. The flapping of an owl's wings rushed past them as John hunkered down beside a crumbling wall to await moonrise and the encounter with the last Godwinson who remained his enemy. Unbidden, Leofwine's silver eyes flashed through his mind. Would his nephew have those same eyes?

The night sounds continued, echoing through the trees around them. Peter waited
to his left, unseen. The rest of the soldiers hid a short distance away, but not close enough to be spotted by Leofrid. John had time to think. Time to remember.

Will you yield?

His own words came to him from some unknown place where dark fears hide.

I will trust in that.

Rowena had offered her acceptance of him. How would she feel if she knew the truth about her father? Happiness was not something John had looked for in his life. Rowena had been an unexpected treasure, but one he knew he wouldn't be able to hold.

I will be here when you return.

That was the real reason he had believed she would leave with Arthur. John feared he could not hold onto her. He didn't deserve her. It was better to believe she would leave him if given a chance. But he had been wrong about her. She’d all but professed her love to him. How could he tell her the truth? How could he keep the truth from her?

The darkness beneath the trees shifted ever so slightly when the moon began its ascent.

I would have willingly taken you as my husband.

Rowena, forgive me.
I tried to save him but he would not listen.

A twig snapped to his left, near the road to the village. All sounds ceased.

The light filtered through the trees and the dark silhouette of a tall man paced along the tree line.
Leofrid.
As planned, the soldiers would be shifting in closer, cutting off his escape path. John awaited the signal.

Can you love me, Rowena? When I have your father's blood on my hands?

One low whistle pierced the darkness. John stood and closed the distance between him and Leofrid. Coming upon him unawares, it was the sound of John’s sword being unsheathed that Leofrid finally heard.

"What?" The man stumbled away, grabbing at his own sword but John was quicker, grabbing his hand before it found the hilt
.

"Stay your hand, Leofrid."

The man shook his head, clearly confused. Ten well armed soldiers closed in around him. The fool had come alone.

"What goes on here? Who are you? Who is Leofrid?" The man stumbled over his words, his hands raised in a defensive stance. "Do you mean to rob me? I have nothing of value."

Peter reached out and took his sword, then felt around his waist for the gold that was promised. His hand stilled.

"Then what have we here?"
Peter asked.

With one firm tug, the sack of gold dropped to the ground.

Leofrid stiffened. "Take it, but leave me with my life."

John moved in closer and saw the man did indeed have the same silver eyes as his wife. His heart lurched at her loss if this man died as well.

"What have you come here for in the dark of night?"

The
moonlight twinkled in his eyes, making them dark one minute and bright with fear the next. He refused to answer.

"
Leofrid, let us talk as men."

"Why would we talk at all? You have my gold, now leave me."

"You come here alone to take me as your prisoner?"

Leofrid's shoulders dropped
. He ran his hands through his hair, feigning submission but John was ready when he ducked to make a break for it beneath the soldiers’ arms. John tackled him to the ground before he'd moved five feet.

John forced him to his back, his arms held above him as he struggled for release. "Enough, Leofrid."

"No. It will never be enough. You take what is rightfully ours. You cannot be allowed to stay in power."

Leofrid spat in his face. Peter stilled any further movements with the tip of his sword to his neck
.

"Cease your struggles or I will gladly run you through
."

John got up and brushed the dirt from his clothes. "The exchange you had planned will not take place. Peter, secure him in the dungeon until I have decided what to do with him."

The other soldiers moved in to help Peter tie him up. John walked back to his horse, sheathing his sword. Rowena's cousin still lived but how could he remain so if he refused to back down? He would be a constant threat to all that King William had accomplished. How could John again be the source of more pain to his wife?

The ride to Westminster had taken longer than usual. The spring rains had made
even the most traveled roads nearly impassable. Though Rowena had protested the conveyance, she was happy to not be on a horse in this weather. She'd not seen much of John since he led the party, Peter at his right. And each night they stayed at inns along the way, the men and women separated.

Rowena was not looking forward to this encounter. The king had asked specifically if she would be attending
William FitzOsbern’s daughter's nuptials. It was no one she knew but John had assured her she had always treated him well and he didn't want to miss the celebration since her own father had now passed.

The vaulted ceilings of the building were a marvel to Rowena and she had to consciously close her mouth with every new sight she found. She'd been here as a child but much had changed with the Norman invasion, the expansion being just one of the things she noticed were different
.

"My lady, Lady
Emma has sent me to see if I can be of assistance to you. My name is Bridget."

Rowena
's face heated. "Yes, I could use the help, Bridget."

After adjusting the girdle of the simple blue gown, the woman took great care with Rowena's hair creating braided loops that adorned either side of her head and dipping so low they nearly touched her shoulders.

"You look lovely, my lady."

"My thanks to your capable hands."

She dipped her head in appreciation. "If you are ready now, Lady Emma is verily anxious to meet you."

"Please." Rowena motioned the woman to lead the way.

Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at the idea of meeting another of the king's wards. This one however, was the daughter of his best friend and sure to be treated better than Rowena had been.

An elegantly dressed
woman greeted her with a big smile and open arms. "Lady Rowena. I am so happy to meet the woman who has stolen Sir John's heart."

Enveloped in her arms, Rowena was glad
Emma could not see the shock she felt was surely on her face. Peter had implied something similar.

"Come."
Emma took Rowena by the hand and led her to the window seat beside the huge four poster bed. "Tell me everything. The king claims responsibility for John's happiness for it was him that put the two of you together."

Rowena's jaw dropped. "Does the king
verily speak of us thus?"

Her dark eyes widened, and she moved in closer as if in secret alliance. "Well, not in so many words but he does accept praise when things go well, not so much the responsibility when things turn sour."

Rowena could not hold back the laugh and Emma joined right in.

"You are so brave to say such things."

John took that moment to enter the chamber through the open door. "Ah, the two of you whispering and laughing in conspiratorial tones bodes well for no one...especially me."

"Oh
. John." Emma waved her hand in dismissal. "You cannot believe you would be the topic of our conversation."

He raised one brow at
Emma and then Rowena. Heat flooded her face and she bit her cheek to keep from smiling.

"Unlike you, dear
Emma, my lady wife does not hide her emotions well. I can see that I have interrupted your discourse just in the nick of time."

Emma
gasped. "Ah, dear John, she does show every emotion! How easy could it have been for her to hide her true feelings of love from you?"

Rowena's breath caught.
Her shoulders pulsed from the lack of oxygen and time stopped. She held the lady's gaze and was graced by the look of sudden understanding that passed over her face.

"My apologies."
Emma grabbed her cold hands. "My sincerest apologies. He doesn't know?"

John
came to stand beside Rowena, concern etched in his forehead. "Are you not well, Rowena? You look pale."

Rowena glanced toward John. "I am a bit overwhelmed
."

"Maria."
Emma strode toward the open door, calling out. "Maria? Ah, please bring refreshments for my guests...and a good strong whisky from the king’s private stock."

John held Rowena's gaze, dropping to his knee beside her. "Do you wish to leave? Perhaps you need some time to rest?"

His hand was comforting were it rested on her thigh. "I am fine, John. Thank you for your concern."

He lightly brushed his lips against her forehead. "You will let me know if you wish to leave?"

She nodded. Emma came to stand behind him. "You two certainly are adorable."

John rolled his eyes and stood to face the bride to be.

"You missed your chance at me."

Rowena sat up straighter.

"Aye, I believe I did." Emma's voice sounded wistful, Rowena felt her ire begin to rise.

"I tried hard enough to win you over."

"And failed." The sudden flatness of her voice and the comical tilt of her lips made Rowena realize they were teasing. The woman's wink gave her confirmation.

"That was long ago." John took Rowena's hand and kissed it lightly. "I am happy to say the loss was a blessing in disguise."

Emma scrunched her face in mock distress."What say you then? You have no depth of feeling still lingering for me?"

John bent to kiss his wife full on the lips. He pulled back and smiled at her. Rowena's heart lightened considerably at his look of love.

"Aye. Not a bit," John answered, still facing her.

"Well, is that not always the way of it
?"

Refreshments were brought and
Emma quickly dispensed some whisky and gave it to Rowena. "It will help you relax before you meet the king."

Rowena's stomach tightened. "So soon?"

John pulled a bench up beside her. "He does not have much patience."

"But we've just arrived. Are you sure it is me he wants to meet? Now?"

"He has said as much." John's eyes darkened. "I will make excuses if you are not ready." His eyes took in all of her. "But you do look lovely."

"My thanks."

"No married couple can really be this sweet on each other."

Emma
's voice sliced through the comfort John's closeness and kind words were building within her.

John turned to face the other woman. "Have a care,
Emma. Rowena does not know the king. Your joking manner is new to her as well."

Emma
's eyes rounded in sympathy. "My apologies, Lady Rowena. I did not consider your fear. Please, try the whisky."

Rowena took a small sip, then another. The peaty scent floated about her and she took another sip. "Aye.
‘Tis very good. I thank you."

Emma
's smile broadened and with a smug look she turned on John. "See? I can do something right."

"Aye. That you can." John's smile slipped. "And who is this man the king has
given you to?"

She tipped her hand, palm up. "Someone he has decided will be beneficial to his plans for me.
Ralph de Gael. He is an older man."

Rowena suddenly saw through the sarcastic facade when tears sprang to
Emma's eyes, balancing on her lashes.

John took the woman into a comforting embrace. "Fear not,
Emma. He would not marry you to one that would not have been acceptable to his dearest friend."

"I know but William FitzOsbern did not always make the best decisions."

"You have the right of it." John patted her back, glancing at Rowena. "You are strong like your father. Do not forget that."

Emma
pulled out of his arms and sniffled. "I will be strong. How were you able to be wed to one so sweet and lovely and I am wed off to some old lord with land the king covets?"

Rowena looked down, wishing the heat in her face would lessen.

"I was blessed. I know not why."

His words echoed in her heart. He considered her a blessing. She glanced up to find them both looking at her. She took another sip but the heat seemed to makes its way into her belly with the whisky
.

"I've never been called a blessing before except perhaps by my father
and that was a very long time ago." The kind smile of her father could lighten any situation. She missed him so much.

§

Her words pierced his heart. John would never be able to win Rowena over fully once she knew he'd killed her father. He glanced toward Emma. They had spoken earlier and she knew his dilemma. Emma glanced away unable to hold his gaze, confirming what he now knew.

"Come, my lady, let me present you to the king. It w
ill not become easier with waiting." And John knew the truth of his words.

Rowena glanced at
the hand he stretched toward her then to his face. With a small smile, she accepted the gesture hand, demonstrating her trust in him. But John knew it would not last.

"Remember what we discussed, Rowena. Do not be intimidated by his bluster. He avoids responsibility like every man."
Emma reminded her.

John dropped his jaw in mocked outrage.

"Well, maybe not every man," she continued.

John smiled. This woman could cut out a heart with her tongue or bring comfort to a dying man with her smile. She was someone he held in the very highest esteem. He had once fancied himself in love with her, even asking for her hand from the king. The man had been fit to be tied. Although he had been kind to him, the king did not consider him family as he did
Emma. Her kind words regarding him and Rowena, however, had moved him deeply.

When the two of them reached the Great Hall, Rowena's hands turned cold. The look on her face spoke of her inward struggle to face this man.

"I will be at your side, my love. Do not fret."

Her sudden look sent chills down his spine. He had no idea what he'd said but he was reminded of the way she'd looked when they were wed. They joined the long line awaiting the king's attention. It would be awhile before she would have to meet him. He feared she'd be sick on the floor before then. She nibbled at her lip, her eyes taking in all about her.

"Look at me." He tried to coax her. "You look verily lovely, Rowena." He touched the braids that surrounded her face. "And your dark hair is like a halo around your sweet face."

Perhaps his words of endearment would help her to calm herself.
He was shocked to see her eyes fill with tears.

"What have I said that brings you to tears
?"

"I cannot believe that you would speak such tender words to me here, in front of at least fifty other people."

"Why not?"

"How can I respond to you the way that I want to? How can I pull you close and return those tender words, whispering them in your ear as your heart beats close to mine?"

John swallowed the lump in his throat. "I would have you do just that anyway, no matter where we are. Your tender words to me would be a boon to my spirit."

She pulled him close, closing her eyes perhaps to shut out those that turned toward them. No doubt she could still hear their gasps and mumbled words of censur
e as he did.

"I love you, John, more than you will ever know." Her whispered words were spoken with conviction. Her scent surrounded him and he wanted nothing more than to crush her to him but he could not.

"Oh, my sweet lady, I love you more every day that I am with you." His whisper turned hoarse with his emotion. "Let me love you for the rest of my days, let me show the intensity of my love in everything that I do."

"Everything." She echoed his words then found his lips, pulling him to her as she had promised. Lost in the embrace it was the sudden burst of applause by one set of hands, followed by the roar of the people around them following suit that broke them apart and brought John back to the reality of the situation.

He smiled, stretched his neck slightly, and turned his bride to face the king that had come to stand beside them. He was still clapping.

"Bravo, my dear ones. What a display of emotion."

John bowed at the waist and Rowena curtsied in a deep fashion but the king pulled at her arm. "Come my lovely lady, let us speak in private."

Rowena's eyes were wide with shock when she met John's gaze. She could not refuse the king and followed him, or rather was led by him, through the doors to the left that John knew led to the king's private chambers.