The Samantha Project (16 page)

“Looking for this?” A large man in a long black coat stood in front of me, holding the piece of mail. He looked like he could be a bodyguard or a bouncer at a bar.

“Um, yeah. Thanks.” I looked up and right behind him was the black sedan.
 

“Nice to meet you. Samantha, right?”

My heart raced. “How do you know my name?”

He looked down at the piece of mail. “Samantha Andrews. It’s the name on that letter. That’s your mail, isn’t it?”

I glanced down at the envelope. It was addressed to me. “Oh, yeah. Well, thanks again.”

He smiled at me and I felt a cold chill go up my spine. I turned and walked quickly back to the house. I looked back briefly to find him still standing there, watching me. I was so scared that I couldn’t get the front door unlocked. I kept turning the key the wrong way. From the side of my eye, I could still see the man watching me. I finally opened the door, went inside, and made sure every door in the house was locked. When I looked out the window, the man was gone.

I went in the kitchen and noticed a note on the fridge. It was from Dave saying he wouldn’t be home until late. I wondered if I should call him and ask him to come home. But I couldn’t tell him about the creepy guy. He’d never let me leave the house again.
 

I kept watch outside. There was no sign of the guy, but the black sedan remained. Maybe he didn’t even come out of that car, I thought. Maybe he was just being nice and handing me the mail. I was starting to think I was getting way too paranoid about everything.

Later that evening, I called Allie.
 

“You want to come over?”

“I thought you were doing something with Dave.”

“No, he had to work. But hey, if you have plans, don’t feel like you have to—”

“Of course I’ll come over. I’m supposed to be at Brad’s. But I’m late getting over there and I don’t want to go anyway. He’s hanging out with his guy friends. I’ll see ya soon.”

She hung up before I could say goodbye. When the doorbell rang, I double and triple checked to make sure it was her.

“What took you so long to answer? It’s freezing out.”

“Sorry. There was some weird guy out there earlier.”

“Hey, I can’t stay very late. My mom is taking me to the salon in the morning to get my hair done since I’ll be here in the afternoon.”

“Oh. Well you didn’t have to change your schedule for—”

“Don’t start, Sam. It’s fine.”

Allie talked all about what everyone was wearing to the dance and who was going with who. I could never figure out how she knew so much about everyone. I was always last to know and I only found out stuff because of her.

“So what did you decide about Colin?” She changed topics so fast that I wasn’t prepared for it.

“What do you mean?”

“When are you breaking up with him?” She sounded annoyed. I knew she was still mad at me about the whole thing. “After Christmas? In the spring? Or right before you leave for college?”
 

“Well, I’m not really breaking up with him.”

“You said that you’re not gonna date him anymore. That’s breaking up, Sam.”

“But it’s not like that. We’ll still be friends and talk all the time and stuff.”

“No, you won’t. It doesn’t work that way. ”

“Sure it does. We’re best friends. He’s not gonna stop being friends with me just because we’re not dating.”

She sighed. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

“Sam. Are you gonna date any of the guys at Stanford?”

“I guess, if someone asks me out. I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Let’s say that you do. Do you really think Colin’s gonna stick around and listen to you talk about going out with other guys?”

“I won’t tell him.”

“He’ll know, Sam. He’s not stupid. And do you really think he’ll wanna talk to you, or even be around you when you come home on breaks, knowing that you’re with someone else? Just the thought of it’s gonna crush him.”

I didn’t say anything.
 

“So how do you feel about Colin dating other girls?”
 

“Do we really have to talk about this?”

“Just answer the question.”

“I won’t like it, okay?” I paused, hoping she would accept my answer and move on but she wouldn’t. She kept looking at me, waiting for me to continue. “Yeah, I know he’ll date other girls, Allie, but I don’t like thinking about that. It makes me too sad.”

She threw her hands up in the air. “Exactly! That’s why it won’t work! Your whole ‘let’s be friends’ plan.”

“Allie, why are you being so mean about this?”

“I’m not being mean. I’m telling you this because I don’t think you’ve given this whole Colin thing enough thought. You just assume it will all work out. You’ll go to Stanford and Colin will still be here waiting. But he won’t. He’ll move on.”

My heart sank just hearing her say those words. Over the past few weeks Colin and I had grown closer than ever before and my feelings for him had become much deeper. I couldn’t stand the thought of him moving on with someone else. Or us not being friends anymore.

“I don’t want to lose him, Allie. I can’t imagine my life without him. He knows me better than I know myself. I think . . . I think I really do love him.”

“And have you told
him
any of this?”

“No. It’s too embarrassing. Besides, I’m sure he knows all that.”

“He doesn’t know any of that, Sam. He told me that he never knows what you’re thinking. One day you’re nice to him and the next day you’re pushing him away.”

“I don’t mean to do that. I’m just confused. I’m too young to be in a serious relationship.”

“I’m not saying you have to get married, Sam. I’m just saying that you should tell him how you feel. And you should definitely reconsider the whole breaking up thing.”

“Honestly, I really don’t want to break up with him, Allie. It kills me to even think about having to do it.”

“Then why are you even considering it?” she yelled at me.
 

“Because I feel like I have to! Because that’s what people are supposed to do. You’re not supposed to graduate and still date the guy from high school. You’re supposed to go to college, get a job, and
then
get into a serious relationship.”

“Where do you get this stuff? From TV? Movies? I swear, I don’t even understand you sometimes, Sam. Forget about what you’re supposed to do. Do what
you
want to do. And if you love Colin, then don’t you dare even think of dumping him.”

I smiled. “Okay.”

She smiled, too. “So are you mad that I yelled at you?”

“No. I needed to hear it. Thanks for saying something.”
 

I felt so much better after talking to her. It was like I needed permission to stay with Colin. I needed someone to say that it was okay even if it wasn’t what people expected me to do.

Allie left and I went to bed, trying once again to avoid being awake at the time of the accident.
 

On Saturday morning, I saw Dave briefly at breakfast. “Allie’s coming over this afternoon to get ready for tonight.”
 

“Yeah, hey about that, don’t stay out too late. We’re heading to the cabin tomorrow,” Dave said casually as though this had been planned for weeks.

“The cabin? Why would we go to your cabin? Christmas is on Tuesday.”
 

“Precisely, that’s why we’re going. We need to get away. Too many memories here, Sam. I think it’s best if we spend the holidays somewhere else.”

“But you decorated the house. Put up the tree.”

“We’ll put a tree up at the cabin. Come on, Sam. Don’t fight me on this. I have some things to do for work. I’ll be in your dad’s office if you need me.”

And that was that. Dave taking over as parental figure once again without even considering my input. If this arrangement was going to continue, we would have to have a talk. Soon.

Allie arrived in the afternoon. Her hair was already done. It looked like an ad for a shampoo commercial, all long, shiny, and beautiful.
 

As she went to work on my hair and makeup, I told her about Dave’s plans to go to the cabin and how mad I was about it. She calmed me down as usual, saying how she wasn’t thrilled about having to spend the entire Christmas break in Paris with her parents. I didn’t say anything, but I would have picked Paris with my parents any day over a fishing cabin with Dave.

After a few hours of primping, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But when Allie was done, it looked really good. My hair was pulled into a low ponytail that Allie somehow wrapped and pinned so that it was off my neck. It was loose and pretty and little pieces of my wavy curls fell beside my ear. She kept my makeup soft and natural. All together, she had created a look that was exactly me.

Allie left my house around 6 to get dressed. She had finally accepted Brad’s invite to the dance.

Colin arrived shortly after in a black tuxedo and deep red tie to match my dress. Dave insisted on taking the obligatory pictures before letting us leave.
 

“You’ll want these photos someday, Sam,” Dave said. “Now stand still. Colin, put your arm around her.”
 

“Sorry about this,” I whispered to Colin.
 

“No problem. Just make sure I get copies,” Colin whispered back. “You look incredible—I can’t stop staring at you.”
 

After taking at least 20 shots, Dave was finally satisfied. “Okay, you can go. Get her back early, Colin. We’re heading out of town in the morning.”
 

“We’ll be home around midnight, Uncle Dave.” I pulled Colin to the door, rushing to escape before Dave could give us more of his parental rules.

Over dinner, I explained the sudden cabin trip to Colin. He was upset that we wouldn’t see each other on Christmas Day, but there was no use arguing about it. Dave was making me go. I promised Colin that we would have our own Christmas when I got back.
 

When we got to school, the parking lot was packed. Apparently everyone went to these things but me. I had been to three school dances in all of my years of school and had dreaded each one of them. This one, I actually looked forward to. Probably because I knew it was my last high school dance. But also because I was with Colin and I made a promise to myself that I would make this our night and not a night spent thinking about the accident.
 

Colin opened the car door for me and held out his hand. He looked so great in his tuxedo. Dave was right. I would want those pictures. I took Colin’s hand and got out of the car. Even with his help, I lost my balance and started to fall. Colin caught me and pulled me up.
 

“Sorry, I guess I’m not that coordinated in heels,” I said, blushing.
 

“That’s why I’m here. To save you from your high heels.” He smiled, still holding me up. “Hey, before we go in, I just want to thank you for going with me. I know you hate these things and technically you’re done with high school, so it means a lot that you did this.”

“It’s no big deal. I wanted to come. Really I did. Ready to go in?”

“Yeah, but one more thing.” He paused, then stepped back a little to look at me. “You look fantastic tonight, Sam. I mean, not that you don’t always look nice but tonight, well, you look really beautiful.”

I was flattered, but a little embarrassed. “Um, thanks. And you look very handsome.” I grabbed his arm so I wouldn’t fall on the wet pavement.

When we got inside, we could hear the music blaring from the gym. A couple of my teachers were taking tickets. As Colin dealt with the tickets, I went and hung up our coats so the teachers wouldn’t start asking me questions about life after graduation.
 

Inside the school gym, we were greeted with a sea of twinkling blue and white lights. It was a winter wonderland theme. Glittery white snowflakes hung from the ceiling. Giant blue glass bowls filled with silver-wrapped chocolates served as centerpieces at the tables around the dance floor.
 

I looked over at Colin, who was smiling from ear to ear. It was nice to see him so happy.
 

“It looks really good, don’t you think? Doesn’t even look like the gym.”
 

Colin didn’t hear me over the loud dance music playing in the background. He grabbed my hand and led me through the gym toward the other side of the room. He leaned over and whispered in my ear. “They’re all looking at you, Sam. I told you. You look so hot tonight.”

It was a nice thing to say but I thought it was a bit over the top, the way parents go on about how wonderful their kids are and assume everyone else thinks so, too. But when I looked around, I noticed that people really were staring at us—at me! All the attention made me nervous. I focused on taking small steps so I wouldn’t trip in the heels.
 

“Sam!” It was Allie. She ran up to greet us, with Brad, her date, straggling behind. “Oh my God, doesn’t she look great, Colin?” Allie didn’t wait for him to answer. “She looks totally great. I did her hair and makeup. And hey,” she grabbed Colin’s arm, “you did a good job on the dress. You know, for a guy.”

Colin laughed. “The dress is just a dress. Sam is what makes it look so good.”
 

“Isn’t he sweet?” Allie put her arm around me. “I just love him. You’re such a cute couple.” The music changed and Allie stopped to listen. “Yes! I love this song! Brad! Dance floor. Now.” She walked over to Brad and dragged him away.

“Allie and Brad,” Colin said, watching them and shaking his head. “I don’t get it. But somehow it works. Do you want to sit down?”

“Sure.” My feet were already starting to feel sore.
 

“I’m gonna get us something to drink and say hi to the guys. Hey, why don’t you come with so I can show you off?”

I could see the football team, along with a few of their cheerleader girlfriends, scattered near the food and drink tables. I had never felt comfortable around those people, even when I was with Colin.