The Rules of Ever After (11 page)

“I tried to tell you earlier, but we kept getting interrupted. My birthday fairy said that on my eighteenth birthday I would go to sleep and never wake up.”

“Daniel, that’s awful. Aren’t you scared that—hold on. You have to be a least the same age as me.”

“Yes, I am twenty.”

“Then how did you—”

“The last fairy fixed it, sort of. After the sixth fairy said that, the seventh said that I—”

“Shh!” Phillip interrupted him as he halted his horse. “There is something in the bushes over there.”

Phillip pointed to a clump of shrubs to the left of the path. A low growling noise rose from behind the rustling leaves. He watched as Daniel drew his sword and placed his finger to his lips, motioning for Phillip to be quiet.

“Why did you stop?” James asked, as he and Peter trotted up between the two princes.

“Shh,” Daniel hissed, as he pointed his sword toward the shaking bushes. “There’s something over there.”

“Do you think it’s a bear?” James squinted and leaned toward the rustling leaves.

“A dragon?” Peter suggested, his voice quivering in fear. “Griffin?”

“Shh.”

The bushes shook more violently, and a piercing screech rose as the branches began to part. The birds in the surrounding trees flew away from the commotion, sending leaves fluttering down all around the men. Phillip batted the leaves away from his face and stared toward the bush, holding his breath.

“I’ll kill it!” James screamed. He drew his sword and hopped down from his horse.

“Phiiiiii…” the creature in the bush shrieked, as it stumbled out onto the path toward the men.

“Wait!” Phillip yelled at James, as he quickly dismounted. “I think it’s saying my name!”

“…liiiiiip!” The creature ended its cry and stood panting before the men. Its wild eyes moved rapidly back and forth between the men as its shoulders heaved with each deep breath.

“It’s a girl!” Peter cried, as the four men stared with their mouths agape.

Before them stood a short, thin girl. Her brown hair frayed out wildly around her head with bits of leaves and twigs snagged in its tangles. Dark streaks of mud covered her face and arms, and her yellow dress hung tattered about her petite body. Her angry brown eyes settled on Phillip as she stomped toward him, panting heavily with each step she took.

“Honestly! I should take that sword from his hands and cut your head clean off your body!” the girl screamed as she lunged toward Phillip with her arms outstretched before her. Daniel shoved his sword back into its sheath, jumped down from his horse and stepped between the girl and Phillip. As she crashed into him, the girl growled and swung her arms around his body in an attempt to grab at Phillip. “Out of my way, buddy. I’ve got a little score to settle with that one!”

“Gwen?” Phillip gasped, as he watched the girl’s arms flail at him.

“You know this girl?” Daniel asked. He wrapped his arms around the girl’s shoulders and pulled her arms down to her sides. “Easy. Let’s just calm down and take a breath.”

“This is Princess Gwendolyn of Little Dealonia,” Phillip said. Stepping over to the girl, he pulled a twig out of her hair. “At least, I think Gwen is somewhere under all of this mess.”

“Honestly?” Gwen choked out, as her eyes flashed in anger. “It’s all your fault that I look this way!”

“Phillip,” Daniel asked, “what is she talking about?”

“I have no idea. The last time I saw her was in the courtyard of our castle. She was loaded up in a carriage and sent home after failing the princess-test.”

“Princess-test?” Gwen yelled as she struggled against Daniel’s tight grip. “Your stupid princess-test is why I’m in this mess. I was peacefully sleeping in that ridiculous bed when the next thing I know your stepmother is waking me up and shoving me out the door. She kept saying I failed the test, and I don’t even remember taking it!” Gwen’s voice grew higher and louder as her frustration grew. “Yes, you loaded me into a carriage to send me away in shame, but we were no more than a few leagues from your castle when my guardians decided that they were wasting their time protecting someone who wasn’t a real princess after all. I was riding along in comfort, trying to decide how to explain all of this to my father, and the next thing I knew, the carriage stopped in these woods. The footmen told me I was no more deserving of the carriage than they were and then yanked me out and dumped me on the side of the path! Before I could say anything, they had piled into the carriage and ridden off without me! And they took my trunk with all my dresses!” Gwen began to wail and dropped her head against Daniel’s shoulder.

“Hoodlums!” Daniel tut-tutted as he relaxed his grip around the girl’s arms. Phillip watched as the anger drained from her face and her body slumped in exhaustion.

“Honestly,” Gwen whimpered, as she collapsed at Daniel’s feet. “And I’ve been trying to find my way out of these woods for days now. I’ve had nothing to eat but rumberries. I fell in a hole and got covered in mud. I got my hair caught in a tree. And my best dress,” she said and pulled at the tatters around her crumpled legs. “Well, it’s just ruined. And it’s all your fault.”

“Oh, Gwen,” Phillip cooed. He crossed to the girl, sat on the ground beside her and pulled her shaking body to his chest. After picking a few more leaves out of the ratted mass of her hair, he patted her head and said in his most soothing voice, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea those men would do this. Please forgive me. We’ll get you out of here. We’ll get you home.”

“Honestly,” Gwen sobbed as she leaned into Phillips arms, “what’s the point of taking me home? No one believes I’m a prin­cess anymore. Why should they accept me back into the castle? For all I know, my father won’t even want to see me!” Her crying grew more hysterical, and she began to hit Phillip on his chest with her small, muddy fist. “You have ruined me.”

Phillip looked up at the other men, imploring them for assis­tance. They shuffled uncomfortably from foot to foot and looked at the trees around them.

“Okay, listen,” Phillip said, as he pushed Gwen away from his chest and looked into her eyes. “I’ll just explain to your father that there was a mistake. I’ll tell him you’re a princess after all.”

Gwen sniffled. “But I failed the test! I’m not a princess. And the worst part is, I don’t even know what the test was or how I failed!”

Phillip felt a twinge of guilt as he remembered offering Gwen the sleeping tonic. “Actually, I think there may have been a slight problem with the test. I can’t really explain it all right now, but trust me. We’ve got to get going, though. Some bad things happened at the castle after you left, and I need to keep moving.” Standing up and brushing the leaves off his backside, Phillip reached out his hand to the girl. “Come on. Up we go.”

Gwen grabbed Phillip’s hand and pulled herself to her feet. With a hiccup, she wiped the tears from her cheeks. “So you’re saying I might still be a princess after all?”

“Yes. Now let’s get you home. Then we’ll send some of your father’s men after those horrid footmen. In just a few days you’ll be back in your own bed with all your beloved dresses right there in your room.”

“But Phillip, look at me! I’m a mess. A princess can’t be seen riding through the kingdoms in a dirty, torn dress!”

“I tell you what, at the next stream we pass, we will get you cleaned up. We’ll tame this bird’s nest, and then you can put on one of my tunics and breeches. It’s not as fancy as your dresses, but at least it will be clean and easier for riding a horse.”

“Oh, I don’t mind wearing breeches!” Gwen said and her face lit up. “When I played Hugor the Warrior in my play about his life, I wore boy’s clothes the whole time! Honestly! Really, your boy clothes are quite comfortable. But is it safe for us to be traveling out here without a carriage?”

“You have nothing to fear with me here, milady,” James boomed, as he stepped over and bowed deeply. “Sir James of Sylvania at your service. I will keep you safe, be it from dragon or griffin or angry chipmunk!” Raising his head to look into her eyes, he waggled his eyebrows and beamed at her.

With a giggle, Gwen put her hand out for James to kiss. Seeing the mud caked on her knuckles, she pulled it back and wiped it on the front of her dress. “I guess with a strong man like you beside me, I’ll be okay.”

“All right, then.” Phillip turned to the others and gestured toward the horses. “Shall we be on our way? Peter, let Gwendolyn ride on your horse with you.”

“Why me?”

“Shouldn’t I ride with Sir James?” Gwen asked, batting her eyes at the knight.

“No. She’ll only fit on a horse with Peter. Now let’s go.”

Peter pulled Gwen up onto his horse. “I still don’t see why I have to share.”

“It’s where she will be the safest, Sir Scribbles,” James said and chuckled, as he flipped his reins and trotted down the path. “You can protect her with your love that is stronger than magic.”

“T
he tavern should be around here somewhere,”
Phillip said, as the group crested a small hill on the edge of the Western Wood. “The old woman in that little cabin said it was the
only
place to stay. I think she said it was called the Lusty Strumpet.”

“I’m not sure that is the kind of place we should take a lady,” Daniel said, as he stopped beside Phillip. “Sounds like it might be a bit rough.”

“Well, it is getting dark, and I don’t think we have much of a choice,” James added, as he trotted up beside them. “Those clouds look like they are bringing rain for sure. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to spend the night getting soaked to the bone.”

“No,” Daniel conceded. “None of us will be any good if we get the rain plague.”

“We could check it out first,” Phillip suggested. “I could stay outside with Gwen while you and James see if it’s safe. You both know a lot more about this kind of place than we do.”

“Actually, Phillip, we don’t spend a lot of time hanging out in gambling halls and taverns.”

“Even if some of us have asked nicely,” James mumbled.

Daniel rolled his eyes at James and turned back to Phillip. “I guess it’s our only option. But if it looks even remotely unsafe we’ll just have to keep riding.”

Peter rode between them with Gwen holding on tightly behind him. “What’s the plan, Highnesses?”

“Well, if this tavern looks safe enough, we are going to spend the night.”

“A tavern!” Gwen exclaimed. “How exciting! I’ve always wanted to go to a tavern. I played a serving wench in one of my plays, but my father wouldn’t let me go to the local beer hall to research my part.”

“A warm bed and a warm meal sounds good to me,” Peter said. “Let’s get moving.”

“But only if it looks safe,” Phillip added.

“I think I see it,” Gwen said. She pointed down the road toward a large, well-lit building sitting to one side of a crossroad. “It’s awfully bright. Looks popular, too. Let’s go!” She reached around Peter, grabbed the reins, kicked the horse’s side and they went flying down the road.

“Gwen, wait,” Daniel called, as he kicked his own horse and set off down the road behind her.

“That girl is going to get us killed.” James sighed to Phillip, then clicked his tongue at his horse and trotted off.

Phillip followed down the road toward the crossroad and the tavern. As he approached, he could see more and more people crowded around the door. Dozens of torches burned around the building’s exterior, shedding a flickering light on the faces of the crowd and the sign hanging above the tavern door. The wooden sign had the words “Lusty Strumpet” in bright red lettering above the image of a woman with dark curly hair and a low-cut blouse holding tankards of ale next to her ample bosom. Two velvet-covered ropes lined the path to the door, where a large, muscular man in a dirty black tunic stood with his arms crossed. As people approached, he would occasionally glance at a piece of paper in his hand, nod his head and let a person go into the tavern. On either side of the door, illuminated by lanterns, hung large banners portraying a beautiful, dark-skinned woman in a tight, midnight-blue bodice and long flowing skirts. She held a tiara in one hand and a lute in the other. Above her head was the image of a smiling moon and the words “Appearing tonight: Lady Moon.”

“Lady Moon? Who’s that?” James asked.

“She appears to be some type of entertainer,” Daniel said with a shrug. “Must be good, too. Look at the size of that crowd.”

Phillip looked at the poster to the left of the door.
She looks vaguely familiar.
He dismounted and led his horse to the hitching post. “Well, this place looks safe enough. That behemoth by the door doesn’t appear to be letting in anyone too unclean. I say we give it a shot.”

“Daniel?” Gwen asked, as she slid off Peter’s horse. “Why do some of those people by the door have sheaves of paper and char­coal pencils? Are they scribes like Peter?”

“Oh no,” Daniel groaned. “Sketcherazzi!”

“What?” Phillip asked.

“Sketcherazzi. They are the lowest life form on earth. No better than worms, really. Just ignore them. No matter what they yell at you or how they ask, just put your head down and keep walking.”

Phillip scanned the crowd around the door and noticed that the people standing along the front were in fact scribbling away as each person strolled toward the door. They were clearly poorer peasants, judging by the tattered and dirty beige tunics and dresses they wore. He watched as a young woman in a fancy dress tried to rush past the crowd. They all began shouting at her to look their way, and she turned left and right in confusion. Watching them flock ravenously toward the girl, Phillip was reminded of the seagulls that would chatter and caw around the walls of his castle. He had never cared for those noisy birds and was sure he wouldn’t care for these scribbling birds either.

“I don’t understand,” Gwen said, as she tilted her head. “What do they want from us?”

“My brother, Andrew, loves these people, but I can’t stand them. They hang around outside of any place they think lords and ladies and royalty might show up. When you walk by they try to draw a picture of you that they can later sell to someone else. Especially the
Kingdom Inquisitor.
”

“Daniel, that’s absurd. Why would someone pay for that?” Phillip asked.

“Phillip, you know people are fascinated by the royal life. They want to see what we’re wearing and who we’re socializing with. I understand the curiosity, but for these people to profit from it seems wrong. Also, they never get my hair right. Just follow me and don’t make eye contact.”

“Um… too late,” Phillip said as he pointed toward the crowd.

Gwen and James were walking down the path to the tavern door. At the first group of people, Gwen stopped, flashed her biggest smile and posed for the artists. Looping her arm through James’s crooked arm, she turned her body slightly toward his and kicked her leg up behind her.

“Come on. We need to go rescue the damsel in distress from herself.”

As Phillip and Daniel approached the crowd, they could hear the questions being fired at James and Gwen.

“Princess Gwen! Why are you in a man’s tunic? Is that the latest rage with princesses?”

“This old thing?” Gwen replied coyly and flipped the baggy hem of the tunic back and forth.

“Is that hairstyle the latest in the royal world? Who is your date?”

“My date? Why this is Sir James of Sylvania. Only the bravest and most handsome knight in all of Clarameer. Show them your smile, James.”

James puffed out his chest and grinned from ear to ear.

“Gwen,” Daniel said as he walked up behind her, “I told you to ignore these people and just keep walking.”

“Prince Phillip! Prince Daniel! Over here! Look over here and smile!” one of the sketcherazzi yelled, as he furiously scribbled a portrait of the two princes on his pad of paper.

Daniel slowly walked over to the man, grabbed the pad from his hands and ripped off the top sheet. “I’ll be taking this. Why can’t you leave us be and put your real talents to use? I am sure there is a stable somewhere that needs shoveling.” He folded the sketch in two and shoved it into a pocket of his doublet. “Gwen, James, come along.”

“Prince Phillip! You have some nerve showing up here on a night Lady Moon is singing!” one of the crowd yelled as Phillip hurried past.

“What did he mean by that, sire?” Peter asked, as he pushed Phillip toward the large man guarding the door.

“I have no idea,” Phillip said with a shrug. As he arrived at the door, the large man stuck out his arm and placed his hand on Phillip’s chest.

“Are you on the list?”

“List?” Phillip said.

“Yeah, the list,” the large man said with a gesture to the piece of paper in his hand. “No one gets in if they ain’t on the list.”

“Excuse me, sir,” James interrupted as he stepped between the man and Phillip. “Phillip, let me handle this. Good man, I am Sir James of Sylvania and I am escorting my friend, Princess Gwendolyn of Little Dealonia, back to her home. We need a place to stay for the night and we hear this inn is the finest in the area.”

“Look, buddy, from what I hear she ain’t no princess after all. And if you ain’t on the list, you ain’t going in. It’s a full house tonight for Lady Moon.”

“Look buddy, I beg of you,” Peter whined as he stepped in front of James. “We just want to have a meal and then turn in for the night. All we need is two rooms.”

“List,” the guard said as he held the piece of paper out in front of Peter’s face.

“Sir,” Gwen purred as she stepped forward and batted her eyes at the guard, “I‘m awfully tired. Don’t you have two little rooms somewhere for me and my friends here?”

“List.”

“Maybe a token of our appreciation would help?” Daniel asked as he pulled the bag of gold coins from his pocket and jingled it in the man’s face.

“List.”

“You know what?” Phillip said with an air of annoyance, as he stepped up to the guard again. “Your little tavern here is in my kingdom, even if I am not on the throne yet. So I suggest you step aside and let your future king through.”

“Prince Phillip?” the man said, wide eyed, and then bowed and stammered, “I didn’t realize you were you. I mean, I always heard you never left your castle.”

“Well, clearly I have. So will you please move aside?”

A look of mischief suddenly crossed the man’s face, and he said, “I really didn’t expect you to show up on a Lady Moon night. Oh this should be fun to watch!” Stepping to one side, he waved his arm toward the tavern door. “You and your friends go right on in. Go to the bar and ask for the owner, Spud. He’ll take care of you.”

“Thank you.” Phillip swept past the guard and pushed the tavern door open. The loud sounds of laughter and conversation and the smell of spilled ale assaulted Phillip. As he scanned the room, he could not believe the number of people crowded into the main hall. Every seat appeared to be full, and the noise of the crowd made Phillip’s ears ring.

Despite the numerous candles and lanterns hanging around the room, it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dimness. The tavern itself was rather plain, with only an occasional stuffed animal’s head or antlers hanging on the stone and plaster walls. Twenty or so people sat at the long bar that ran the length of the room to the right. Behind the bar, a tall, dark-haired man with an apron tied around his waist scurried back and forth between his patrons and the large oak barrels behind him. He would shove a tankard under the tap on a barrel and wait for the ale to fill the cup, then turn around and send the mug sliding down the bar into the hands of a customer.

A single barmaid rushed among groupings of small tables scat­tered around the rest of the room, serving full mugs of ale and bowls of assorted foods from the large tray on her shoulder. Each table held at least four people drinking ale and chatting loudly. At the far end of the room was a raised platform where Phillip assumed the evening’s entertainment would be performed. A tat­tered purple curtain hung across the space, and small candles burned along the front edge of the stage.

Phillip had not seen this many people gathered since Cauchemar had stopped the lavish banquets his mother had once served in their grand hall. He had forgotten what the buzz of excitement rumbling around a room was like, and though the excitement made his heart quicken, the noise made him uneasy.

“Shall we find a table?” Gwen asked, pushing past Phillip into the room.

“Looks like a full house,” Peter said, as he stood on his tiptoes and peeked over Phillip’s shoulder.

“I’ll go speak to the owner about some rooms for the night,” Daniel said and made his way toward the bar, winding through the maze of tables and patrons. “James, you take the others down front. I think I see an empty table there.”

“Okay.” James wrapped his hands around Gwen’s waist and steered her toward the table at the foot of the stage. “Bring some ale, too. All that riding has me thirsty. Oh! And some dragon wings if they have them.”

Phillip followed to the lone empty table. A hush fell over each table as the entourage passed it. Phillip could feel the eyes of the silent patrons following him until he had walked by, when the murmurs began. He was sure he could hear whispers of, “is that…” and, “I can’t believe he would…” When he finally reached the empty table, he grabbed a chair, slid it back and gestured for Gwen to take a seat. She looked over her shoulder and said, “Thank you. Aren’t you excited about the show?”

“I guess,” Phillip said with a shrug, hoping to disguise the dis­comfort the crowd and its chattering were causing. Sitting down beside Gwen, his stomach churned. The people around him seemed to be practically sitting at the table with him. The room felt increasingly hot. “I’ve just never been big on crowds. Especially when they seem intent on staring a hole in me.”

Phillip glanced at the bar to find Daniel among the crowd. He could see Daniel pointing in their direction and holding up two fingers. The tavern owner glanced over Daniel’s shoulder and nodded a greeting. Daniel pulled a sack from his belt, removed several coins and handed them to the barkeep. As he leaned over the bar to speak into the bartender’s ear, Daniel’s doublet rode up in the back to reveal his muscular thighs. The fabric pulled tight across his shoulders, accentuating his strong back and arms. Phillip had not noticed the strength and grace of Daniel’s movements. He stared as the other prince haggled with the barkeep. Daniel dropped back onto his heels, looked back over at Phillip and winked. Phillip felt the blood rush to his cheeks. Hoping no one noticed his ogling, he moved his gaze to a painted sign on the edge of the stage. The woman pictured on the banners smiled out from the painting. Phillip leaned over the table to get a closer look.

“She’s beautiful, don’t you think?” Gwen asked, as she wrapped her arm around Phillip’s and leaned into his side. “That olive skin shows she’s from Osterling. My father says everything in Osterling is exotic. Oh, how I would love to go there! Can you believe the best wines, the most lavish clothes and the wildest dances all come from just over Clarameer’s eastern border? I know Lady Moon is probably a made-up name, but she does look like a princess.”