The Rules In Paradise (Playing By The Rules) (9 page)

             
The electricity was palpable between us. I felt like the world around us didn't exist. Here it was just Cole and I in damp clothes, standing close enough to feel each other's breath. I didn't know exactly what I wanted but I wanted more contact in some way. The little space between us was too much. His eyes fluttered between my own and my face and lips. His eyelids hung low, his eyes almost obscured by his long eyelashes. I felt like at any moment we might explode from the cataclysmic amount of electricity flowing.

             
"I want..."

             
"Mr. Cooper, some waters for you and Miss. Olivia." Alexander was standing near us, offering us some drinks. He had cut off whatever Cole was planning to say. My body screamed in frustration as Cole pulled away and acknowledged Alexander and took the waters. He smiled his gratitude and handed them both to me.

             
"Hold that please while I finish your harness." His fingers finished unlatching everything quickly this time and I stepped out of it. Even more quickly he had gotten his own off and handed both of them to Alexander.

             
"Thank you for your time today Alexander. As always it has been a pleasure. I will be in touch." Cole shook his hand and turned from the man, taking one of the waters from me. I smiled and waved at Alexander as I turned to walk with Cole. His stride was large and he was walking fast. I was slightly falling behind but didn't make much of an effort to keep up. I knew what this was, he was turning sour again. He reached the Jeep and took a long sip of water. I made it a few seconds later. I stood next to him by the Jeep but did not say a word. I wasn't going to beg for any information.

             
Cole paced for a few seconds, his face full of anguish. I watched him as intensely as I imagined he watches me.

             
"What are you looking at?" He nearly snapped.

             
"I'm just watching you. It's very rare that your gaze is not focused on me, so I will take that opportunity to just watch you." He let out a deep breath as I finished speaking and pinched the bridge of his nose.

             
"I don't know if God was good or cruel when he brought you into my life Olivia. There are times when I feel so strongly that we are right here for a specific reason and then other times I feel like it is one big colossal joke. I don't have the answer and I haven't a clue what in the hell to do." He looked utterly confused.

             
"I'm extremely lost, I just want you to know that." To my surprise he laughed and walked around to my side of the Jeep and opened the door.

             
"Get in, let's get out of here before I regret something."

             
He walked around to his side of he Jeep, got in, started it up and we drove away.

Chapter 7

             
I was surprised but not the least bit shocked when he passed the condo. He clearly had things on his mind and I was not about to interrupt that. I sat quietly and enjoyed the ride, my hair blowing in the warm evening breeze.

             
We pulled up against an abandoned looking building and Cole hopped out. I took that as my sign to get out and I met him around back. He was digging in the backseat for something. Only when he apparently found it did he make eye contact and nod his head in the direction that the Jeep was facing. It only took moments for my shoes to fill with sand as I immediately began sinking. The sun was low in the sky, very shortly it would be dark. I heard the sound of the waves get closer and closer as we walked toward the water.

             
As always, Cole was a few steps ahead of me. He took a blanket out from under his arms and lay it down on the sand. He set down another blanket, still folded and some water. Apparently we were sitting. He kicked off his sandals and settled down on the blanket.

             
"Come sit," he said as he patted the empty side of the blanket.

             
"The sun looks so beautiful this time of the evening."

             
"It does, doesn't it? There are not many places you get this view. Sure, everywhere you can see the sun set but you never get these colors." He said everything with his eyes focused forward on the horizon.

             
I folded my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around then. I rested my head on my arms, looking at Cole.

             
"I think I understand what you mean when you say that I wear my heart on my sleeve but you don't know why. I can see that you are fighting with something, but I don't know why."

             
He took his sunglasses off his head and set them next to him. He turned his head toward me and searched my face for something, what I did not know.

             
"I think it's because the moment I think I have you figured out you do or say something that comes out of left field. This is why I can't figure you out. This is what I mean when I struggle not to be near you. There is always something surprising, almost brand new about you. You're like a breath of fresh air everyday." He looked at me for a moment and then away after he finished speaking.

             
"Do you really fight it or is that just what you say to yourself?" I asked hesitantly. He gave a low hiccup of laughter.

             
"See what I mean? You are nearly too perceptive. I'd like to believe that I try to fight it, it's just your pull always wins. It won that day I watched you at the pool. That evening on the boat was probably top ten best evenings of my life and that is impressive Olivia. I've been extremely lucky in my life and I've had some great times. But you are so, enchanting that I must you place you reasonably high."

             
"Why do you need to fight it?" I was still resting my head on my arms, watching him while we spoke.

             
"Because there is nothing healthy about it. We are both in this paradise, which is poisoning us into believing we feel something we do not. When we do part ways I cannot manage a sad, tearful goodbye. In the light of day, things are always different. Here? In this beautiful city we are living in perpetual night. Only when we return to reality will it be light and reveal this for what it is." He spoke wistfully. He broke eye contact and again was talking to the horizon.

             
"And what is 'it'?" My stomach turned as I got the words out. For the first time in awhile he gave a genuine smile.

             
"This is a clusterfuck. Excuse the expression, but this a mess." I didn't know how to respond to that so I sat quietly again. This time the silence wore on, seemingly never-ending.

             
"Noise or silence?" I asked. Cole was seated with his knees raised in front of him, resting his forearms on them. He gave a small smile and looked down for a moment.

             
"Noise."

             
"Why."

             
"No ma'am, those are the rules. You first."

             
"Silence." He turned to me, seemingly surprised.

             
"Noise means things are happening, others are around. I like noise because it means progress. Silence means things are still and often times you are alone."

             
I shrugged. "I like alone. It's comforting. Silence let's you think and wonder and just process things."

             
"Thinking is not always the best idea," he said.

             
"It is when you have to figure something out. Sometimes all you need is silence to gain perspective on something. There were so many artists that could only create when they are alone and in silence. It's like something would speak to them only if they were alone. Like people who say that God speaks to them. It doesn't ever happen around anyone else. Silence can be powerful." I was kind of shocked at how defensive I had become, but I felt strongly about my position.

             
"The paradox is it can also be deafening. To me, silence is so loud and distracting that I cannot arrive at an answer. I've never heard the voice of God there either. Usually it just means I'm alone." His voice sounded kind of sad or maybe wistful.

             
"Do you associate being alone with loneliness?" I asked.

             
"Yes." His answer was succinct. He answered without hesitation.

             
"Is that part of the reason for this?" I pointed between he and I.

             
"No. The reason for 'this' as you say is I am not lonely near or far from you. You are enough to occupy my mind to the point where I am not lonely when alone."

             
It was my turn to turn away as I rested my head on my knees, looking out onto the water. There was just a speck of bright orange left. I don't know how he managed to do it, but he loaded so many layers of things into his words. Any psychiatrist would have a field day with this. I shivered a little as a big breeze came off the water. Cole shifted slightly and next I felt the folded blanket drape over my shoulders.

             
"Thank you," I said.

             
"You're very welcome. If you are too cold we will go. You just say the word." He stretched his legs out, his calves down to his bare feet were stretched into the sand. I admired him as inconspicuously as I could. He was tall and just the right amount of tone everywhere. It didn't hurt that he was incredibly intelligent.

             
"Are your friends going to wonder where you are?" He asked.

             
"They know where I'm at. Much like your friends have done to you, I've received the third degree from Char. Adrian however doesn't have a leg to stand on so she's kept quiet."

             
"And what was their assessment of the situation?"

             
"I can't imagine that you care what others think of you." I didn't mean it ugly, it was just an impression I got from him.

             
"I don't. Just enlighten me for fun."

             
"They both think you're gorgeous of course. Charlotte picked up on your intensity."

             
"My intensity?"

             
"Yes, how you can fill a room just from what you emit. I don't know if it's power or arrogance or what, but you take up more figurative space than the rest of us mere mortals."

             
"That word arrogance has reared it's ugly head again. I was unaware that my proverbial aura was so overbearing."

             
"I call bullshit on that. Every move you make and word you say is calculated. Anyway, she said I need to take this for what it is. A vacation where I've met an attractive man and I'm hanging out with him. Which is not me at all."

             
"I think that is a good attitude to have. Though I would imagine, if this so called man was so arrogant you should not waste your precious vacation time on him." I head see his eyes sparkling in the dark as he spoke.

             
I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see them and reached over to push him. "That's not what I meant. You're so sure of yourself. You even said arrogance can be deserved."

             
"Am I over-bearing with you?" He seemed to genuinely want to know. There was no inflection in his voice that led me to believe he was kidding.

             
"Yes and no. When I first knew you I felt smothered by your intensity. Or what you called your aura. I've come to appreciate it. It defines you and makes you unique. I appreciate it about you."

             
"Well, thank-you." He seemed pleased.

             
I wrapped the blanket tightly around me as I lay down on my back. Being so far from a big city, the sky was ablaze with stars. Cole shifted and did the same thing. He laid his head right next to mine.

             
"I feel like you don't understand how enchanting you are. You're beautiful and witty, stubborn as an ass but in a very refined way, if that makes any sense. You don't take any shit but it is only because you can outsmart anyone who tries. What I truly enjoy is how innocent you are about it. You have no idea all of things you possess which makes it so cute to watch you go through every stage of a thought. When you talk about me always watching you it is because I like to watch each phase you go through when I say something that causes you to think. You have a dreadful pokerface, please never pick up the game." I laughed at that last part and smiled up at the sky. "I mean it. You are not a dime a dozen, believe me, I know plenty of those. You're rare and I quite enjoy being selfish with you, where nobody else can experience it but me, right now, here." He shifted a little and I felt his warm hand cover mine.