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Authors: MaryJanice Davidson

BOOK: The Royal Mess
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Chapter 51
“M
y God, woman, I think I threw my back out last night.”
“Big Al, you don't fool me. Under all that bullshit is a big old teddy bear.”
He was in his office chair and the Dragon was sitting on his lap, her feet dangling inches off the floor. “I think we took ten years off Edmund's life this morning.”
“Well now, you were the one who wanted to try it with me on top.”
“I told you, by then you'd already thrown my back out. What choice did I have?”
“Excuses, excuses. I wonder where this scene fits into my memoirs.”
“Don't you dare!”
“Chapter fifteen,” she mused, “ ‘I Bone the King.' ”
“You're fired.”
“You already fired me today.”
“Well, you're fired again.”
She ran her fingers through his graying hair. “Is that a fact?”
There was a rap on his door and he heard Alexandria call, “Dad? Can I come in?”
He shoved the Dragon off his lap and she went willingly enough. Then he yelled, “You harpy, get the hell out of my office!”
“Don't be like that, Big Al. All I want to know is how you met Princess Nicole's mother. You gotta admit that's historically significant.”
“No way! There's historically significant and there's none of your damned business! Guess which this is?”
Alexandria walked in. “You two aren't fooling anyone. We all know you did the beast with two backs last night.”
The king and the Dragon gaped at the princess.
“Well, we do,” she said mildly, perching on the arm of one of the chairs. “Dad's detail knew, then Edmund knew, then the whole detail knew, and Nicky's been patching into their two-way since he learned how to hack, and he told all of us at breakfast, at which you were conspicuously absent, Dad, and I shudder to think why.”
“Remind me to strangle my youngest,” he said grimly.
“Hey, Dad. It's only such a big deal because we're happy for you. You've been alone too long.” Alexandria, a breathtaking brunette with the standard-issue Baranov blue eyes, smiled at Holly. “Granted, your choice was kind of a surprise, but still . . .”
“No goddamned privacy in my own house,” he grumped.
“Well, Dad. Did you think she kept coming back to write more deathless prose about signing the Conservation Act?”
“Why did everyone know why you kept coming back except me?”
“ 'Cuz you're a dumbass, Big Al.”
“Do you want me to kick this broad out, Alex? Is this private business?”
“It is, but she'll have to know eventually. Get ready to be a grandfather again.”
“Really?” He jumped up and swung his daughter around in a hug that left her breathless. Then, “Oh shit! Sorry. You're not gonna puke, are you?”
“Eventually, I imagine so.”
“Congratulations, Alex,” Holly said, smiling broadly.
“Just when I thought I couldn't take one more surprise, you lay this egg in my lap.”
“Almost literally,” Alex added, then giggled. “Another kid who'll think nothing of their grandpa being on all the money.”
“How long have you—”
“Two days. I flew to the States to tell Sheldon, then hopped a transport back here. Shel will be here later today. Anyway, I'm due in November.”
“Why'd you tell that bum first?”
“Because he's the father, Dad. I'm pretty sure. Kidding! Don't throw anything at me. In fact, I'll leave you two alone so you can have more old people sex.” She shivered all over. “You know what? Maybe I will throw up.” Then she left, closing the door firmly behind her.
“Congratulations, Grandpa,” Holly said.
“If you ever call me Grandpa again, I'll fire you. Again.”
“I think I'll chance it.” She plopped back into his lap. “So, what's on today's agenda?”
“Fire. Brimstone. Worlds colliding. I mean, I'm doing the Dragon. Isn't that a sign of the Apoclypse?”
“Could be, Al,” she laughed, leaning down and planting a kiss on his mouth. “Could be.”
He started to kiss her back, then pulled away and looked her right in her big brown eyes. “I'm not getting married again, Holly. Never, ever again.”
“Who's askin'?”
“So you'll never be queen.”
“Who'd want the job?”
“And here I thought you were after me for my money. Or you were looking for a crown.”
“Al, I'm after you, there's no doubt about that. Stop shivering! But your money and your crown don't have nothin' to do with it.” She kissed him again. “You've got, ah, other qualities.”
“What I've been saying,” he said smugly.
Chapter 52
N
atalia was escorting Nicole to the nearest coffee shop—she was hungry to get out of the palace—when her two-way beeped. She spoke into it, then turned to Nicole.
“Rebel wants to meet with you. It sounds urgent.”
“Is he okay?”
“I don't know, Highness, but if he had been hurt, I would know.”
“Okay. We'll go out some other time. Where is he?”
“His rooms.”
“You'll have to take me there; I have no idea where they are.”
“At once, Highness.”
“Thanks, Natalia. Bet you can't wait until Jeff gets back.”
“I'm counting the seconds, Highness.”
“You're a weird one, Natalia.”
“Thank you, Highness.”
And in twenty minutes, she was knocking on Nicky's door.
“Nicky? It's Nicole. Okay if I come in?”
At the muffled, “Yeah,” she turned the knob and entered.
The sixteen-year-old was clearly waiting for her; the television was off and he wasn't playing video games. Just sitting on the couch and waiting, his hands dangling in his lap. He was growing so quickly his cuffs were an inch above his wrists.
“What's up?”
“Dad's having sex again.”
“You, um, didn't have to tell me that.
Ever
.”
“I think—I think he's ready to let my mother go.”
“Okay. Listen, Nicky, I know it's awful and revolting to think about, but grown-ups have needs, even ancient doddering grown-ups like our father. It doesn't mean he loved your mother any less.”
“I know. But I think he's officially over her now. So I can finally talk to you.”
She sat down in the easy chair across from him. “Hon, I'm not up to a birds and bees chat. Last time was bad enough.”
He snorted. “I'm sixteen, not six. I know all about sex.”
“Really,” she said, amused.
“But I wanted to show you this.” He handed her a piece of paper, one that looked awfully familiar. She had seen one just like it not long ago, it was her—
“These are the results from
my
DNA test,” Nicky explained.
“You—oh. How did you—”
“You've heard the rumors. Everybody has. Dad just won't hear them, and won't let anyone talk to me about them, or him. He was the guardian of her memory, I guess. But she's gone, and I'm too old to be taken care of anymore.”
“I hear you on that last one,” she said fervently, still trying to make sense of the numbers and words on the paper. “I'm thirty-five and I'm way,
way
too old to be taken care of.”
“Great, Nicole, and this is about me, not you.”
“So sorry. Please continue.”
“Anyway, Dr. Hedman had to take Dad's blood. And your blood. And then I cornered him and ordered him to take my blood and run the same test. See, always before, Dad wouldn't allow the test. He sure wouldn't cough up any of his blood for one.”
“So you bullied Dr. Hedman—”
“I didn't
bully
,” he corrected her sharply, sitting up straighter and looking like the prince he was. “I commanded. And he did as I asked. That piece of paper says I am not a blood relation to the king. None.” He paused, obviously struggling to keep his composure. “My mother was a queen. And she was a liar and a betrayer.”
Nicole bit her lower lip. “I see.” She cleared her throat. “Well, two things. We can't ever know what was going on with Queen Dara. Maybe she fell in love. Maybe she was lonely. Maybe she made a mistake and was sorry later. Don't let that stupid piece of paper ruin your good memories of her. My—
our
father told me that the pain of a loved one's death goes away, leaving good memories. And that's what you have of your mom, Nicky. The good memories.”
Impassively, he said, “You said two things.”
“I'm sure you understand that in Dad's heart you'll be his son until the planets cave in on themselves.”
He smiled thinly. “That's the second time.”
“What?”
“The second time you've called him Dad since you came in here.”
“Was it? I hadn't realized.” Hmm. That
was
weird. It had sort of slipped out without her noticing.
“But see, it's okay.”
“It is?”
“I've always felt like a changeling child, and now I know why. But it's okay. I think it was time for me to stop wondering and find out for sure. And I could only do that because of you. I think . . . I think I was meant to find out the king wasn't my father because part of me knew you were coming. With you here he still has the same number of children, you see.”
“No, Nicky, he doesn't. He's got one more, that's all. Even if he knew, he'd never disown you, never cast you out. You're his son and that's all there is.”
“I just don't know—” The boy clenched his fists and tried to lock back the tears. “I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should tell him or not. But since you went through this kind of thing not long ago, you're the only one I can talk to. The bastard princess. But what does that make me?”
“His son, Nicky. That's what it makes you. As for this?” She crumpled it in her fist and tossed it into the fireplace; then she got up, lit a match from the gold box on the mantel, and incinerated the DNA test into ash. “It's your business, Nicky, and no one else's. And I swear to you by
my
mother, I'll never tell. The bastard princess is a coward, but not a liar.”
Nicky wiped his cheeks and said, surprised, “You're not a coward. I think you're very brave.”
“Well, I'm not. But I'm going to try to be. Damned if I'll be shamed by a child.”
“I'm
not
a—”
“I know, I know, sorry. Anyway, come on,
Prince
Nicky. I was headed into town for coffee when you beeped Natalia, but now I feel the need for Dairy Queen. Let's go drown our sorrows in thousands of calories.”
Shyly, he took her hand, and brother and sister left the suite of the youngest Baranov, the bastard prince.
Chapter 53
J
effrey Rodinov rose in the middle of the morning with his mind made up. He shaved, showered, dressed, and called the super to report the damage Nicole had done to the sliding glass door.
Then he drove to the palace, found Edmund, and tendered his resignation.
“Absolutely not,” was the reply, to his shock.
“Mr. Dante, there are circumstances—you don't understand—my duty is conflicting with—”
“The desire to impregnate Princess Nicole; yes; I gathered as much. Your resignation is
not
accepted.”
“But sir! I—”
“I can't take it, Jeffrey; I absolutely can't take it!” Edmund (horrors!) yelled. Jeffrey thought,
The king died and nobody told me.
That's the only reason Edmund Dante would ever raise his voice or forget to comb his hair.
“Sir, maybe you'd better—”
“Go on a killing spree,” he snapped. “I am surrounded by people having irresponsible sex!”
Shocked, Jeffrey had no reply.
Edmund visibly calmed himself. “Your resignation is not accepted. For heaven's sake, Jeffrey, look around you. This is Alaska. The royals marry subjects all the time. The greatest queen our country has ever seen used to be a maid. Also, there is no rule that says a princess may not bone her bodyguard.”
Jeffrey was shocked into silence by Edmund's use of the word
bone
as a verb.
“Now, the king will give you nine kinds of holy hell about it, but that's your problem, not mine. Do you
see
the bags under my eyes, man? I cannot take another upheaval to the schedule. You will not quit.”
“But Nicole—I mean, Her Highness—”
“—is at the Dairy Queen with the youngest prince. If you hurry, you can catch them.”
Jeffrey turned, already groping in his pockets for his car keys. “With all respect, this isn't over, Mr. Dante.”
“With zero respect, it certainly is, Jeffrey. Best of luck.”
“Sir, are you all right?”
“I am a thousand yards from all right. Run along now.”
Jeffrey ran along.
 
Jeffrey saw two detail automobiles parked in the driveway, and judging by all the citizens pressed to the windows, deduced Nicole was eating her ice cream inside one of the sedans.
He rapped on one dark window, which slowly slid down.
“Hi, Jeffrey!” Prince Nicholas called. Nicole was sitting beside her brother, closest to the window. “Want a cone? Is your vacation over already?”
“Yes,” he said grimly.
“What are you doing here?” Nicole asked, clearly surprised.
“I'll get to that in a moment.”
“Guess what?” Nicholas continued. “Dad's having sex and Alex is pregnant. And Christina's been such a bitch lately we think she is, too. Isn't that the most terrifying news you've ever heard?”
“Not this week, Highness. I—wait. The king is what?” He mentally shook himself. “Never mind. Please excuse me.” He pressed a button on his two-way and the locks disengaged. Then he opened the door and yanked Nicole out.
“Hey! My Peanut Buster Parfait!”
He took her hand in his and led her to the other sedan, rapped on the driver's side window, and said to Natalia, “Out.”
“Yes, sir.” She got out.
“Don't talk to Natalia like that! Natalia, I'm sorry. He's an asshole.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“You. In.”
Nicole took a steadying breath, shrugged, and climbed into the backseat. He turned to Natalia and said, “I'll need a few minutes of privacy.”
“For what?” was her almost-but-not-quite-sarcastic request as he got in and shut and locked the doors.
“There's easier ways to get a bite of my parfait,” she informed him. Then she was juggling the plastic tub of ice cream as he crushed her to him and kissed her until he thought he might bruise her. Then he eased up.
“Not that I mind, but this isn't exactly discreet, and I thought you were all about being—”
“Be my wife.”
“Huh?”
“Marry me. Make me a prince.”
“You mean you're in love with me for my title?” she teased, but he could tell she was rattled.
“All this time I've been coming at it from the wrong end.”
She reddened. “If you're talking about what we tried later last night, I told you, that happens to every guy now and—”
“I've been trying to reconcile my duty with one-night stands with the Crown Princess of Alaska. But I don't want a number of one-night stands, Nicole. I want you, for the rest of your life. And mine. Marry me and make me a prince, and as long as I'm by your side, you'll never want for family again.”
“Actually,” she said quietly, “I'm kind of getting used to them. My family.”
“Oh.” He felt his heart actually shrink in his chest. Of course, the famous Baranov bounce: They came back from every shock, every disaster, stronger than ever. He should have known. She didn't need him. She had never needed him.
And he was a fool.
“I see,” he said stiffly, leaning away from her. “Then you have no need of me, or my proposal, so I—”
“Hold on, Jeffrey, I didn't say no, did I?”
“Nicole,” he said stonily, “don't play with me like this.”
“Who's playing? You're the one who keeps jumping to conclusions. Yes, I'll marry you. Yes, I'll make you a prince, and later, much, much later by the grace of God, the King of Alaska.”
She took another bite of her ice cream, chewed, and swallowed while his heart slowly resumed something resembling a normal rhythm. “You will? I mean, you do?”
“At first I thought it was because you didn't sulk after I got the drop on you that first day. Then I thought it was because you kept coming back to my old fishing guide job. Then I thought it was because you're really, really good in bed. But now I think—”
“What?”
“I think,” she said, pausing to lick the spoon, “it's because it's something my mother would have wanted for me. And I think it's because you're the best angler I've ever seen. I'm pretty sure I fell in love with you when I watched you tie on that sinker the day we went fishing.”
He slumped back in the seat with relief. “Thank God.”
Then he gathered her in his arms, ignoring her squeal, “I'm spilling my parfait!” and kissed her until they were both panting and covered with ice cream.
“By the way,” he said, pulling back to catch his breath. “Who is the king having sex with?”
“Don't even ask, Jeffrey. You wouldn't believe it if I told you.”

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