The Royal Affair (The Palmera Royals) (4 page)

Speak? Oh dear God. Marina gazed up at the house. Suzie? Marina’s stomach nosedived. That was his child.

Then Suzie was back, running out the door, a book in her hands. She didn’t go to Jonas but diverted at the last minute and stopped in front of Marina. She shoved it toward her.

“Would you like me to read it?” Marina asked.

Suzie nodded, her golden curls shaking vigorously. She opened the book, tiny fingers flicking the pages, then she stopped and pointed at the storybook picture. “Pr…cess. Pr…cess.” She pointed again, then smiled and pointed at Marina.

Marina glanced down at the open book, scanning the picture story. It was of The Princess and the Pea. The dark-haired cartoon drawing of the princess in a beautiful pink gown glittered with jewels.

“You pr…cess.” Suddenly, the book dropped from Suzie’s fingertips and landed at Marina’s feet. But she didn’t have time to retrieve it before Suzie wrapped her arms around Marina’s legs, holding on tight. “Pr…cess.” Her tone was roughened but words nevertheless, and understandable.

“Suzie. Let the princess go.” But Suzie buried her face against Marina’s legs, and Jonas’s repeated coaxing was of no use.

Finally, he crouched down beside his daughter, hands gently on the child’s shoulders as he drew her away. Suzie reluctantly released Marina’s leg.

Cradling his child in his arms, Jonas straightened. Marina was shocked to see tears in the joyous depths of his eyes.

“It’s okay, sweet pea.” As the little girl snuggled into him, his dark gaze, full of emotion, fixed on Marina. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to be. She’s a child.”

“She’s my daughter and those are the first words she’s spoken in four years.”

Sudden nausea swirled in her stomach as she struggled to stanch thoughts of Jonas with his wife, his child, his family.

Stop it. Stop it right now.

Dear God, she was jealous!

“You better get on your way,” he said.

“Yes. Yes, you’re right.” Marina swallowed back her growing sense of loss. Thank you for your hospitality, Mr. Wilder.” She pasted on her princess face. This was the last time she would see him—ever—for she would not tempt fate and return to this beautiful country again. “Good-bye.” Not waiting for his reply, she sidestepped him and seated herself in the SUV, then closed the door. “Don’t stop until we get back to the city, Jacques.” She had to get back to her life of being the princess everyone expected her to be. The perfect socialite. The successful businesswoman. It was far easier that way. It was what she knew.

Maybe there was a lesson here. Don’t step out of your world. Don’t dream. And definitely don’t hope. But there was one small question that circled her subconscious as they drove in silence toward Auckland; a question she had not expected.

Who exactly was the real Marina? What were her
real
dreams? And, more importantly, was she allowed to dream?

Marina had thought taking up the challenge of opening her stables would fulfill her life. It had—sort of. Until yesterday, when she’d stared into those bedroom eyes of Jonas Wilder’s once more.

Now, as they drove closer to the South Pacific metropolis, doubts about everything—every part of her life—morphed into gigantic proportions.

Had she simply fooled herself into believing this was what she wanted? That love didn’t matter anymore? Wrong! She knew deep down it did. Totally. But love was unobtainable, because the only man she had ever loved did not want her. He had his
own
family.

Chapter Four

The penthouse suite with its Toile de Jouy wallpaper in soft blue and white, luxurious velvety carpet, and the marled walnut furniture bespoke an elegance of a bygone era and certainly was dressed to impress its occupants.

Exhausted after the roller coaster of the last twenty-four hours, Marina really didn’t care about the beauty of her surroundings. Her nerves were shot, emotions in a tangle. She’d thought she had her life exactly as she wanted it. But all the way back to the city, doubts didn’t creep but stormed in, challenging everything she’d thought about her life, about what she’d achieved so far.

And now? Now, everything seemed uncertain—and that was all down to Jonas Wilder.

Requesting no intrusion, she cocooned herself in her suite, returning emails regarding horses destined for races around the world. The Dubai Classic, the Derby and Grand National, and the prestigious Melbourne Cup in Australia in November were only a few of the international races her horses would attend. Palmera Stables was definitely making its mark in the world of horse racing.

As she hit “send” on the final email, she switched off the laptop, silenced her cellphone and took her suite’s phone off the hook. All she wanted was to shut herself off from the world—correction, from
her
world.

That Jonas had never mentioned he was married while he was in San Torrevna cut Marina to the core. The lying, cheating so-and-so. She had trusted him with her heart.

She understood him leaving in a hurry when word came of the accident. But why not answer her calls? Why leave her without a word?

As evening fell, instead of dining downstairs, she phoned room service, soaked in a bath and, wrapped in a fluffy white robe, took refuge in the lounge, watching old movies until, barely able to keep her eyes open, she retreated to bed.

Big mistake.

Sleep proved impossible, and despite her lethargy, she tossed and turned for hours, the darkness punctuated with memories of being in Jonas’s arms, of his kisses, the way he smiled and touched her. On and on her memories rampaged, teasing her, testing her willpower to remain steadfast in her decision.

No way could she stay any longer. Instead, tomorrow she would leave Jonas and his beautiful country forever.

The hours ticked on, and just as she was finally drifting off into an exhausted slumber, a sharp knock at her door wrenched Marina from her solitary world. She cast a glance at the bedside clock It was barely dawn.

Tossing aside her bedcovers, she wrapped herself in her robe, then walked out into the lounge. The knocking had become disturbingly insistent, and her chest tightened. Her sister-in-law was pregnant and due very soon. Surely if she’d gone into labor, her brother, Prince Lucas, would have phoned.

Oops! She’d turned off all her phones.

Heart racing, panic escalating, she opened the door. Shock jettisoned from head to toe and right back up in one brutal assault as her gaze fixed on the man at her door. “Jonas. What are you doing here?”

He didn’t bother to reply but pushed past her, his cologne an instant battering ram to her unprepared senses. From behind him, a nervous Pierre began to follow, but Marina stalled him.

“I tried to dissuade him, Your Highness, but he was insistent.”

She offered Pierre a sleepy smile. “It’s fine. I can handle this.”

For a few seconds, Pierre hesitated, and then finally he stepped back. “As you wish, Your Highness.”

Marina shut the door and turned to Jonas. She wasn’t about to play nice. Playing nice got you hurt, and Jonas had hurt her one too many times. “I asked you what you’re doing here.”

He dragged a hand through his disheveled hair, which was as unkempt as the rest of him. Dark circles underscored his eyes, his shirt and jeans the same as what he wore yesterday.

“Oh shit, I don’t know.” He spun toward the door and then stalled.

Marina pursed her lips, and he offered a sheepish half smile and a shrug. She wished he hadn’t. She tugged her robe a little tighter. “Jonas, if you’ve come about a horse, I’m afraid I’ve bought all I need right now. I’m off home soon.” She checked her Bulgari watch. “In four hours. Besides, I think we said all we had to say yesterday.”

“I need you.”

“I beg your pardon?”

He stepped closer, and instinctively, she stepped back. Still, he was close. Touching close. All dark Hershey eyes and molten-sex close.

“What I meant was Suzie needs you. She hasn’t spoken for…for years.” He choked on his words. “Since the accident.” He shoved his hands into his jean pockets, and Marina had to force herself not to look down or notice the way the fabric stretched over one place in particular. Dark eyes drew her in as understanding dawned and infiltrated her sleep-deprived brain. He began to reach out to her, and every inch of her went rigid.

She stalled him with the flat of her palm. “The accident when you rushed off without a word.”

He nodded. “I’m sorry. I should have, but…I didn’t have time.”

“One call, Jonas. That’s all I wanted.”

“I know, but I couldn’t. I promised myself if Suzie was all right, I would never leave her again. She’s the most important thing in my life. I don’t have time for…”

“Me.”

His gaze shifted away from her. “Suzie was in the accident with her mother and her mother’s lover.”

Marina shook her head, then tucked her hair behind her ears, drawing a shaky hand over her sleep-filled eyes as Jonas continued. “Talia and I were divorced. Stella asked me to come with her to your brother’s wedding. I never should have stayed longer in San Torrevna. I was meant to go home earlier, but, well, Suzie lived with me after Talia left, and then you happened, and I, well, got seduced, sidetracked.”

“Gee, thanks. So I was just a diversion?”

“No…I…” Jonas spun half away and then right back again. “I’m totally to blame. I made a mistake in staying when I should have gone back right after the wedding. Lust got in the way.”

Lust—not love.
“I’m sorry about Suzie, really. She’s a cute little girl.”

“Who has been mute since the accident. They say it’s PTSD, but yesterday, that all changed. Yesterday, because of you, she spoke. My little girl talked for the first time in four long, sad, silent years, Marina.”

She heard the emotion in Jonas’s voice, and indeed felt the threat of tears too. She wanted desperately to reach out and touch him, but daren’t. Instead, she pocketed her hands in her robe, fisting them where he couldn’t see. “I’m so very pleased, but if I was such an itch you’d rather not scratch, why are you here now? I can’t do anything for you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I want you to come back down to Totara Park. Perhaps if you’re around, Suzie will talk more. It’s like she’s forgotten, but yesterday you made her remember.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Yes, you did. When I introduced you as Princess Marina, it spiked a memory of the princess in her storybook. She loves that book and spends hours looking at the pictures. Maybe if she has a real-life princess around, she might speak again.”

“But I’m due to fly out today.”

Jonas grabbed her shoulders as if he thought she would disappear. “Please, Marina, Suzie needs you.”

She tried to tug free, but he wouldn’t let her go. “Oh, that is such a low blow, Jonas.”

“I know it is, but I’m desperate. She’s my daughter. I’d do anything for her.”

The scrape of his work-roughened fingertips caressing just above the collar of her robe decimated her resistance.

At her hesitation, he said, “Hell, if you’re worried about what happened before, about kissing and, well, all that stuff, don’t be. There’ll be no hanky-panky.”

No sex. No glorious, wonderful, sex. Him holding, her, kissing her. Hours of talking, smiling, laughing, just being together. Exquisite.

“I’ll be a perfect gentleman. Suzie comes first, before…well, before, anything else.”

Suzie
needed
her. Jonas needed her—just not
that way.
Nor did he want her that way. No hanky-panky included. Wonderful!

But this wasn’t about her, or Jonas. This was about the darling little girl she couldn’t forget and who’d struggled to say “princess” and had held on to Marina’s legs like a little limpet.

Marina’s heart melted. “When do we leave?

Chapter Five

Marina made a quick phone call to the head of security in San Torrevna to notify him of her change of plans and persuade him that her bodyguards didn’t need to go with her. She’d only be there a few days.

He took some convincing, but at last he’d agreed. She disconnected the call and turned to Jonas, who waited impatiently by the large window overlooking Auckland harbor.

Down below, the world awoke. It seemed so normal. She’d so wanted to be normal as a child, not to be a princess, faced with duty and responsibility. Heritage.

Would her life ever really be normal?

As she watched Jonas, drawing her gaze down his strong, slightly hunched back, his hands shoved in his jeans pockets, her heart melted that little bit more, pursued by a sudden bout of uncertainty. Why was she really doing this?

Because of Suzie—of course.

Did she really believe that? Marina didn’t know, and refused to allow that hint of doubt to gain traction. She disengaged her line of vision. “It’s all settled. If you’ll give me a few minutes to get ready.”

Jonas turned to face her. “Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

She linked her arms across her middle. “Actually, I probably do. My mother was killed in a car accident when I was fifteen. I know the anguish such an event causes. My brother, Lucas, struggled for years with the guilt of not being with my mother when she died.” Jonas remained mute, only blinking several times. She was trying to help him, make him understand the accident was not his fault. “He was meant to go with her, but they’d argued, and so he stayed home.”

“I’m sorry. It can’t have been easy. All that publicity.”

“No, it wasn’t. It never is, even though I was born public property. Now, I need you to go.”

“Go? Go where?”

“To the lobby.” She flicked her fingers at him as if to wave him away. “Scoot, Jonas. I have to change.”

His eyes lightened suddenly, the somberness morphing into that warm melt-in-your-mouth chocolate brown she loved. “I’ve seen you naked before.”

“You promised no funny business, and I think seeing me naked would certainly come under the ‘funny business’ label.”

“So I did.”

Okay, so she was in a suite, for goodness’ sake. All she had to do was walk into the connecting bedroom, close the door and get changed. He wouldn’t see her. The trouble was, she would be far too aware of the man on the other side of the door.

“Sorry, Princess. I’m trying to make light of a difficult situation.”

“I understand that.”

“Suzie is all I have. I’ll do anything for her, and what she needs right now is a princess to talk to.” With that, he strode to the door. Gripping the handle, he stalled a moment. “Thank you, Marina. I do appreciate it.”

She tugged her robe cord tighter to still her shaking hands. “You’re welcome, but just make sure you remember you’re meant to be playing a gentleman.”

He gave her a salute. “I won’t forget.” He exited the room, leaving her alone with nagging doubts of whether she’d made a huge mistake.

She quickly showered and dressed, determined to ignore the warning niggling in her brain. Why put herself through this? For Suzie, she answered silently again. And again and again, trying to convince herself. Of course she would help the little girl, but…Jonas… She couldn’t go down that track again.

Finally, dressed in jeans and a white button-down shirt, she headed downstairs, dousing the warning’s resurgence as she spied Jonas pacing by the hotel’s main entrance.

Clearly uncomfortable that he and his partner been sidelined, her bodyguard Pierre hovered nearby. “Your Highness, it’s highly irregular.”

“I’m with an old friend. I’ll be fine.”

Jonas stowed the two cases she’d brought with her in the back of his SUV. “Course she will.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and Marina’s throat closed as his fingers began a barely there caress across her arm. Even through her cotton shirt, she felt his touch. It made her crave more.

She stepped from his embrace, though she missed his touch. How she had loved being held by him.

“I think we need to leave.”

The moment Jonas drew up outside his house, Suzie came flying out the front door, her halo of golden curls dancing around her head. Marina’s heart stilled as she witnessed the sweet child’s delight. “How could I not have come?”

“Yeah.” Jonas gave her a broad grin. “She does that to everyone.”

“Pr…cess, you came.” Suzie wrapped herself around Marina’s leg. “T’ank you.”

Ruffling her hand through the little girl’s silky curls, Marina glanced up at Jonas, only to witness the resurrection of tears in his eyes. A sudden lump formed in her throat. Such love and devotion.

“This is the most she’s said in years, and it’s all down to you,” he said.

“But I’ve done nothing.”

“You’ve brought her joy again. She looks at you, and it reminds her of her favorite story. Something she loves. That’s enough for her, and me.” Jonas leaned over and kissed her. “Thank you.”

Marina sighed, but slowly, so very slowly, he pulled away, and while her head said this was dangerous territory to negotiate, her body craved some more, please.

Just then, an older woman, her gray hair in soft waves haloing a complexion that belied her years, exited the house. “Oh, lovely, just lovely.” She clapped her hands.

“Agnes, I told you I’d get her here.” Jonas turned to her. “Marina, this is Agnes Tanner, Emmie’s mother-in-law. She stayed over while I…well, twisted your arm into coming.”

“Try bludgeoned me over the head.”

Jonas offered her a sheepish shrug.

After a brief conversation with Agnes, the woman drove off, leaving Marina alone with Jonas—oh yes, and Suzie.

As the echo of the old Austin rattled down the driveway, Jonas hoisted Marina’s cases from the vehicle. “Enough luggage to sink a ship here, Your Highness.” He offered her a mock groan as if the cases threatened to topple.

Laughter rang from her lips, and she tilted her chin up, offering him a haughty smile in retaliation. “We princesses need our jewels and gowns. Don’t you agree, Suzie?”

Suzie nodded furiously.

Looping her hand in Suzie’s tiny one, she followed Jonas inside, where he directed her to the room she’d had the previous evening.

“I hope you’ll be comfortable.”

“I’m sure I will.”

“With all that luggage, I reckon you don’t need a T-shirt.”

“No, I… No, thank you.”

His humor faded. “Dinner is at six, Princess.”

“Fine.” Why did they suddenly sound so stilted?
Easier to keep him at arm’s length.

Jonas reached for Suzie’s hand, but she wouldn’t let go of Marina. “Come on, sweet pea, the princess needs a rest.”

“It’s only three p.m., Jonas. I’m not some old lady that needs a nana nap. You brought me here to be with Suzie, didn’t you?”

For a second, his Hershey’s gaze slid her length in one fluid movement, firing goose bumps. Nerves already taut felt as if they’d snap.

“Pr…cess play.”

Marina scooped up the little girl, grateful for the intrusion. Too much thinking would be dangerous for her equilibrium.

“Sure, let’s play.” She dotted a kiss on the little girl’s forehead, but at the same time observed Jonas’s hesitation. “It’s what I’m here for. To help Suzie.”

“Sure. Yeah, right.”

“So where shall we go, Suzie?”

“Playhouse.”

“You sure?” He directed his question to Marina.

Instinctively, she reached out to him, resting her fingertips on his forearm. Heat radiated from him in an almost scalding burn, rippling along her veins. “Absolutely. You go play horses, and we’ll play dolls.”

His eyes darkened to the richest of chocolate, his expression turning dour. Then, without uttering another word, he dropped her suitcases where he stood, spun on his crocodile boots and strode right back down the hallway without a backward glance.

And play was exactly what she and Suzie did. For the next hour or so, Marina found herself six feet above ground in a treehouse, the little girl’s laughter bubbling every now and again. Marina had no idea what she was meant to do. Jonas only wanted her here to help his daughter, so she did her best, asking Suzie to repeat words as Marina pointed to things in the treehouse—the tea set; the leaves; colors.

Suzie might have been mute for the last four years, but she was an intelligent little girl, and while she struggled to get her tongue around some words and syllables, it didn’t stop her from trying. It was as if the dam had burst, and the words came tumbling out.

As evening dusted the landscape, Marina headed back to her room, uncertainty her companion as she wondered what to expect during her stay. So far, Jonas had kept his promise to be a gentleman. So why was she feeling frustrated?

After changing for dinner into a simple navy shift dress with white appliqué on the hem and sweetheart neckline, she slipped her feet into navy sandals and left her hair loose.

Delighting in the simplicity of “being normal”, she headed downstairs. Suzie lay sprawled on the living room floor, intent on watching a cartoon on television, but from the other direction, Marina could hear clattering.

She headed toward the kitchen, only to come to a standstill as she entered. There, a frilly pink apron tied around his middle, stood Jonas with a soup ladle in hand.

He turned, and the ladle stalled mid-air. “What, no tiara and satin gown for dinner?”

The knots in Marina’s stomach twisted a bit harder, and she skimmed a hand down her dress. “I didn’t realize formality was required, but then you’ve taken dressing for dinner to a new level yourself.”

He flicked the apron, toying with the frilly white trim. “This old thing?”

“Very cute. Pink suits you. Frills too.”

“Nice of you to say.” He continued to stir the soup. “Hope you like vegetable soup and scones. It’s easy-cook night tonight, since I didn’t have time to get anything else done.”

“You don’t have any help?”

“I don’t want anyone in the house full-time, but now and again, Agnes comes to keep things in order.”

“Yet you’ve invited me into your home.”

“You’re different.”

“How so?”

“We know each other already.”

Marina wasn’t sure about that. “Do we? I thought I knew you. I thought I knew a man who was honorable and trustworthy, who…” Marina clammed up. She couldn’t keep going down this track. She’d been going to say she thought he loved her, but stemmed the word before it escaped.

He’d never uttered the L-word, so perhaps it had simply been wishful thinking on her part.

“You can bag me all you want, Marina, and I deserve it, but I had a responsibility to Suzie that surpassed everything.”

“As it should.”

“And always will.”

She walked over to the rough-hewn wooden kitchen table surrounded by six cane chairs, but didn’t sit down. “You never spoke about your wife.”

“I was trying to forget her.”

“Nor did you mention you had a child. For a man wanting to prove his devotion, you were pretty silent on the fact that you were already a daddy.”

“That life was private.”

“So what was I, just a bit on the side? Most couples discuss their lives. Their pasts.”

Jonas didn’t correct her but broke the moment by retrieving three large soup bowls from the cupboard and ladling out the soup. Perhaps it was his way of extricating himself from fessing up. In a basket on the bench was a stack of steaming hot scones, a small dish of butter next to it.

“Shall I play mother and set the table?”
See, you can do normal.

“Didn’t think you’d know how.”

“Oh, Jonas, I’m not totally useless.”

“You’re a princess.”

“I’m also human.”
And you hurt me. Can’t you see the pain—still?

In a few minutes, Marina had found the side plates and cutlery and set the table.

Dinner with Suzie proved to be a delightful occasion. She’d already fallen in love with the little girl, and fallen in love with the little baby perched on Emerald’s hip too. But in her world, babies and children came with marriage and love ever after, something she didn’t have.

Trying not to let the sudden wave of sadness overwhelm her, Marina concentrated on Suzie, helping her with words. Table. Chair. Plate. Everything and anything to take her mind off what she didn’t have.

When the meal was over, Suzie scraped her chair back. “Watch Mickey.”

Jonas drew a hand over his daughter’s curls, an indulgent light in his eyes. “Off you go, but only half an hour, then bed.”

Suzie’s bottom lip protruded slightly as she offered her father puppy-dog eyes in return.

Marina stifled her laughter. “She has your eyes. She’s a lovely little girl.”

Jonas rested a speculative gaze on her. “So does that make me a lovely guy too?”

Marina pushed her chair back. “Don’t get your hopes up. The jury is still out.”

“That’s not what you thought four years ago.”

Please, don’t remind me.
“That was a long time ago, Jonas.”

“And a lot has changed since then I guess.”

Eyes that smoldered so darkly she could very easily drown in them held hers captive and stirred memories of his caresses, drawing her over the edge to… So much had changed, and so little too.

Stop! Do not go there.
She shot down such disturbing memories. Pushing to her feet, she gathered up the dirty plates from the table. “There’s no point in going back. The past is the past, as you said.” It took only minutes to clean up, and then, wiping her hands on a dishtowel, she turned back to the still-seated Jonas. “Thank you for a lovely meal, but it’s been an eventful day. I think I’ll turn in.”

“It doesn’t have to end.”

For the second it took for his comment to register, a tsunami of emotions washed through her. She wrapped her hands across her middle. “So much for you being the perfect gentleman.”

Jonas’s brows rose. “My, my, Princess, your thoughts are a tad lower than what I actually meant.” She went to speak, but Jonas beat her to it. “I thought you might like a tour of the property. Nothing as salacious as what you obviously had in mind.”