The Rogue and the Rival (43 page)
Read The Rogue and the Rival Online
Authors: Maya Rodale
“That is quite obvious.”
“You’re not even sorry about it, are you?” she accused. And then something just broke within him. Phillip couldn’t stop the surge of feelings that suddenly crashed upon him. Frustration at never being able to do enough or to do right. Fear that she might not love him and that she was taking some perverse pleasure in making him jump through one hoop after another. He had been patient. He had been steady. He had been repentant and devoted. And it was insufficient, and he no longer knew what in God’s name to do about this impossible woman.
She was the impossible one. He loved her anyway. But still . . . enough was enough.
“I’m sorry you’re upset about it, Angela,” he said firmly. When she opened her mouth to reply, he didn’t give her a chance to utter a sound. “But no, I’m not sorry I placed that wager. You made me believe in myself, Angela. For the first time in my life, I’m betting on myself.”
“And if you lose?”
“Who says I’m going to lose?” He was emboldened now, taunting fate and fury, and this angry angel. But he could not restrain himself.
“You could at least apologize for making a mockery of what we have together.”
She had a point. He could just take her hand and look her in the eye and say that he was sorry, and this would all blow over, and they would live happily—and richly—ever after. But suddenly he was overcome with a new, strange feeling: that of pride and confidence in himself. For once, he knew his own mind and heart, and he could see the truth that she was avoiding.
“Angela, it’s one thing for me to apologize to women I’ve wronged, and should have made amends with before,” he said calmly and patiently. “I can, and have, sincerely apologized to them. But I am not going to apologize for the wager, because it would be a lie. I have never lied to you, and I will not do so now.”
“But still—”
“I think the one apology you want most of all is the one I can’t give you.” That was the truth that she was running from. The other truth was that they didn’t have a chance at happiness if either of them kept running from the past. He had faced his, and she had to do the same.
“He has nothing to do with this.”
“He has everything to do with this. You may have moved on with your life, but you have not forgiven him or yourself. I can’t fight your demons for you, Angela.”
“This has nothing do with me. You’re the one—”
“Yes, I am the one. I love you, Angela. Why isn’t that enough?”
“That is Lila with Drake,” Rothermere pointed out. The earl and countess were strolling arm in arm ahead of them on the path.
“So it is,” Lady Palmerston replied.
“That likely means, Dora, that your Miss Sullivan and Huntley are alone somewhere in the gardens. Alone.” She did not miss the double suggestion in his tone. She glanced slyly at him, and he raised one eyebrow in return. She smiled and looked away.
“What an astute observation for you to make, Rothermere. You must have been an exceptional spy,” she responded. He had told her of his former employment when she asked how he was acquainted with their hosts. She could not deny a shiver of excitement at knowing a spy. Or was it that he smiled in response to her teasing?
“Correct me if I am wrong, but are you not trying to make a match between them? To discover them in a compromising position would ensure a marriage.”
“You daft old man, this is Phillip Kensington we are talking about. Catching the man in a compromising position is as easy as breathing. It’s getting him to the altar after the fact which is the challenge of a lifetime.”
“Lila has an exceptional gift with weaponry, if that should aid your endeavor.”
“I shall make a note of that, thank you. But I daresay no woman wants to marry a man who has a pistol pressing into his spine as he recites his vows.”
“That would not be romantic at all,” Rothermere said, linking their arms. “Or perhaps it shall not be so easy to catch him after all.”
Ahead of them, Angela came storming out from behind a hedge, quite nearly running. Phillip followed in hot pursuit, calling her name. She did not turn around.
“Fools, the lot of them,” Lady Palmerston muttered.
“Women do tend to overreact to even the most insignificant matters.”
“I was referring to men, actually, and their uncanny ability to always say the wrong thing. I thank you for just proving my point.”
“Anything to please you,” he murmured. “Now, what are we going to do about the young lovers?”
“Give them time to cool their tempers and plenty of opportunities to make amends. Come, let’s return to the house. I expect Angela wishes to leave.”
Angela did wish to leave and return to London immediately. Lila and Drake would not hear of it. Everyone was to stay for dinner and spend the night. After all, they had plenty of rooms, the local inn could not compare, and they were sure to have a splendid evening together.
After supper, a pleasant affair during which the Drakes regaled their guests with stories from their spying days, the ladies adjourned to the drawing room for tea, while the gentlemen remained in the dining room to drink port.
Phillip accepted a glass and strongly considered drinking it, along with the entire bottle.
“Things don’t look good for you winning that wager,” Drake remarked.
“You saw it in the paper, too?” Phillip assumed.
“No, I overheard your argument with Miss Sullivan this afternoon. My wife is not the only one who eavesdrops,” Drake replied with an unapologetic grin.
“I may be a fool, but I hope there is still a chance,” Phillip said. He had seen Angela lost in thought yet still glancing at him throughout dinner.
“You’ll be paying off half the ton for the rest of your life if you lose,” Drake stated. “You need more than hope, my friend.”
“It’s not the money I’m afraid of losing. I’ve already lost every penny. I just don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her.”
“Besotted, are you?” Drake teased. “Happens to the best of us.”
“What you need is a plan to win her for certain,” Rothermere contributed.
“Right. Grand gesture, and all that nonsense,” Drake said.
“Does that really work?” Phillip asked skeptically.
“Did for me,” Drake answered and took a sip of his port.
“What did you do?” Phillip asked.
“Saved her from an armed highwayman,” Drake answered.
“Any other ideas?”
“I’ll offer my services as a distraction to the young lady’s chaperone,” Rothermere suggested. The two younger men eyed the elderly gentleman curiously for a moment.
“You sly old dog, Rothermere,” Drake said, breaking into laughter.
“Anything I can do to help,” he answered.
“Right. So we distract Lady Palmerston. And then what?” Phillip said, thinking that between the three of them, they were sure to come up with a good plan. After all, two of them were spies, with years of practice at devising plans and saving the day. There was hope after all.
Or not.
They all fell silent for a moment. A very long moment. Drake supplied cigars. Rothermere accepted another glass of port. Drake leaned back in his chair and began to whistle. Phillip rested his head in his hands, elbows on the table.
“Did you, uh, tell the lady of your affections for her? Tell her you loved her, can’t live without her, etc., etc?” Drake started.
“Repeatedly.”
“Flowers?” Drake suggested.
“Yes, and she beat me with them.”
“Perhaps a serenade from outside her window?” Rothermere contributed.
“But only if you can sing well,” Drake added. “Because if you can’t, then I’d rather not hear it.”
“You can’t put your comfort aside for your guests?” Rothermere reprimanded him.
Drake scowled. “Admit that you’d rather not hear it, either.”
“I will not be singing outside of her window. I only know bawdy, grossly inappropriate drinking songs. I doubt that’s very romantic.”
“What about composing a poem for the lady?” Rothermere said.
“My efforts would probably embarrass us both,” Phillip said, certain of that. He could feel his hope slipping away.
“There is always jewelry,” Rothermere said. “That usually works like a charm.”
“Where is he going to get jewelry at this hour?” Drake retorted.
“I do have a ring for her,” Phillip said, suddenly feeling a lot less hopeless. He had brought his mother’s ring along, with the intention of giving it to Angela as a wedding ring. But why not an engagement ring? Really, he should have thought of this sooner.
“That’s good! You’ll give her the ring and make some romantic speech,” Drake said. That sounded like something he could do. Although . . .
“Great. Now what does one say in a romantic speech?”
The gentlemen, once again, fell silent.
“This is really something you should have female counsel on,” Drake suggested.
“Yes, but they will tell, as they are women and thus unable to keep a secret, thereby ruining the element of surprise, which is, in my understanding, essential to the efficacy of the grand gesture,” Rothermere said, reminding them of an important truth.
“Well then, can either of you give me a few thousand pounds?”
When the gentlemen rejoined the ladies in the drawing room, Angela was not present. Phillip was informed that she had retired for the evening. Lila declared she had a headache, and Drake insisted on escorting her to their chamber. Rothermere gave Phillip a look, which Phillip immediately comprehended. He claimed exhaustion and bade them good night.
He trailed Lila and Drake on the stairs.
“So, my dear wife, I trust you have seen that our guests are comfortably settled in their chambers.”
“Of course.”
“I’m sure you gave Lady Palmerston and Angela rooms with views of the garden.”
“You have the subtlety of a herd of cattle,” Lila retorted.
“Well, are you going to help out a poor besotted man or not?”
Lila paused at the top of the stairs and turned to Phillip, looking down on him menacingly.
“Phillip, I have a gift with weaponry. My aim is exceptional. I once shot a man in the knee from twenty yards, not paces. It goes without saying that I hit what I was aiming for.”
“Help him, Lila, don’t threaten him.”
“Hush, you,” she said to her husband. “Phillip, you did me a tremendous favor once, so now I shall help you in return. Angela’s room is the second one on the left. But if I hear that you do not do right by her, I will hunt you down and—”
“I promise you will be invited to the wedding,” Phillip said quickly.
“Excellent. Good night then.”
Phillip knocked softly on the second door on the left.
Angela had been deep in thought throughout the evening. She excused herself from tea with Lila and her aunt so that she might go over her thoughts once more, in private. And so she mulled over everything as she waited to see if he would knock on the door.
The things Phillip had said this afternoon were echoing endlessly in her mind. She wondered if he might be right.
The guilt and shame that Lucas had left her with were threatening to ruin her life all over again. Phillip could apologize to every woman in England, and it wouldn’t change her feelings. It might lessen her fears, but it wouldn’t erase them completely. Lucas was the one who should apologize to her.
He should say that he was sorry for taking advantage of her innocence and ignorance. He should be sorry for his part in her father’s death. And if Phillip was right about his scheme in the garden at the ball, then he should damn well apologize to her for trying to ruin her second chance at love and happiness.
She might grow old and die waiting for this apology. A bleak prospect indeed.
Or she could hunt Lucas down and demand it. But that would take time and would require facing him again, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. And for all she knew, he could apologize until his dying breath, and it might not make her feel any better.
But all Phillip had to do was take her in his arms, and that made everything seem right and perfect in the world. At supper this evening, like every other time she looked into his dark eyes, she felt that now-familiar hum in her body. It wasn’t any less thrilling than the first time or all the other times since then. With his eyes on her, or even with him near, silk felt softer against her skin. She felt warmer. She would swear she could feel her blood coursing through her veins.
She couldn’t stop imagining making love to him. She knew what his hands felt like on her skin, his mouth upon hers, and his kiss. And she could imagine how he would feel inside her. And that was the problem. She knew things she shouldn’t.
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