The Rock'n'Roll Romance Box Set (Pam Howes Rock'n'Roll Romance Series) (71 page)

  
‘I’m sorry too. I
shouldn’t have had a go at you like that. You getting so upset can’t be good
for the baby.’ He pulled up her T-shirt and ran his hand gently over her
swollen belly.

  
‘It’s quite big already,’
he said. ‘I didn’t realise. How long have you known for sure?’

  
‘Ironically, the results
came back the day Nick died,’ Livvy sniffed.

  
Roy
swallowed hard and nodded.

  
‘When did you tell Ed?’

  
‘The day of Nick’s
memorial service,’ she replied.

  
‘He told me he’d spoken
to you. Did you ask him not to tell me?’

  
‘No, I wanted you to know
at that point. I asked him to give you the
mes
sage that I was pregnant, but he
said he couldn’t because you and Sammy were in a bad way.’

  
Roy
sighed. ‘I realise he thought that
was for the best, but I wish he’d told me. You shouldn’t have had to cope on
your own.’

  
‘It wouldn’t have made
any difference,
Roy
. I would still have decided to keep it.’ A note of defiance had
crept into her voice.

  
‘Okay, okay.’ He held up
his hands. ‘So, when is this baby of ours due?’
 

  
‘March the tenth,’ she
replied.

  
‘When are you planning on
giving up work?’

  
‘Probably after Christmas
I should think.’

  
‘Right, well let me get
my head around things for a day or two. I’ll need to talk it over with Sammy,
but I’m sure we can come up with a plan to help you financially. We can pay the
rent on your flat for starters, buy all the baby stuff you’ll need and make
sure you have enough to live off once it’s born. You won’t have to struggle.
How does that sound?’

  
‘Thank you, it’s very
generous of you.’

  
‘I can’t offer to marry
you or anything. Sammy and me, well we’re trying to patch things up. I’m
staying in a hotel for now and I move into a flat on Monday. We’ve got family
problems with Jason as well as coping with Nick’s death. Sammy and Jason both
need me right now and I really need them.’

  
Livvy nodded. ‘I
understand. Will Sammy object to you doing all those things for me?’

  
‘I doubt it, she’s not an
ogre. She’s a wonderful woman and it took guts for her to come here and face
you like
she
did.’

  
‘You’re right, it did. I
couldn’t have done it. Would you like a cup of tea,
Roy
? I’d made one before you arrived,
but it’ll be cold by now.’

  
‘I’d love one.’ He lifted
her off the bed. ‘You’ll look like a little barrel in a few weeks if this baby
keeps on growing at the same rate.’ He kissed her gently and in spite of just
having had sex with Sammy less than an hour ago, there was familiar twitching.
‘I
do
love you, Livvy, I’ve told you that often enough, but I’m torn
between the devil and the deep blue sea. I’ll be around and I’ll do everything
financially to help that I can, but I can’t marry you. You
do
understand
that, don’t you?’ As she nodded he continued.
 

  
‘There’s one thing that
you must promise me and it’s more to protect Sammy and Jason than me. You have
to keep it to yourself that I’m the baby’s father, certainly for the time being
anyway. It’ll come out soon enough, but we’ll be stronger to cope with the
backlash by then.’

  
‘I will, but you told me
earlier that you wouldn’t be around for me.’

  
‘I was angry. I’ll be
there for you, I promise, and another thing…’

  
‘What’s that?’ she asked
curiously, looking into his eyes.

  
‘I didn’t just want you
for sex. I wanted you because I love you.’

  
‘You said wanted, does
that mean that you don’t want me anymore?’

  
He pulled her onto his
knee and pressed her hand against his crotch. ‘What do
you
think?’

  
Livvy smiled at him
through her tears. ‘Hard again, Mr Cantello!’

  
‘Well there’s your
answer.’ He lifted her arms and pulled off her T-shirt. He lowered her gently
back onto the bed and removed his own clothes, tossing them onto the floor.

  
Roy
gently made love to Livvy,
realising that tonight it was what she needed and not their usual wild time.
Making love to her had not been in his plans for tonight, nor had it been with
Sammy earlier, but then,
Roy
told himself, just when you least expect it, these things always
seem to happen. Afterwards he held her in his arms and told her he was staying
for the night. She smiled and for the first time in weeks, drifted into a deep
and contented sleep.

***

Jon left Aunt Sally’s, a huge weight lifted from his shoulders and
with a bit more of his life jigsaw in place. The family had made him more than
welcome and he’d felt instantly comfortable with them. His cousins, Sally’s
offspring, Brian, Kevin and Grace, all older than he and married with families
of their own, had extended invitations to visit their ho
mes
at anytime.

  
Furnishing Jon with
addresses and phone numbers, they were all pleased to formally meet at last,
the mysterious cousin they’d heard so much about, whose father was the rock
drummer and song-writer, Eddie Mellor.

  
His grandma, a tiny lady
with a blue-rinsed Margaret Thatcher hairdo, was nothing like the formidable
ogre his dad had painted her, and indeed, she’d even asked after Eddie and
Jane’s health. She’d invited Jon to visit her at her
East Sussex
home and told him to bring Jess
with him if she would like. Jon thanked her and said that if Jess felt up to it
he was sure she’d be pleased to accept the invitation and they’d visit in the
not too distant future.

  
Sitting on a chair next
to a teak wall unit, Jon spotted a framed photograph of a familiar face. ‘May
I,’ he asked as Sally nodded. He picked up the frame and stared at the photo.

  
‘That was taken in Angie’s
last term at school, the year before she married your dad,’ Sally told him.

  
In her school uniform,
Angie looked young, pretty and full of fun. Her light brown hair fell in soft
curls on her shoulders, her green eyes sparkled with happiness and a dimple in
each cheek highlighted her mischievous grin. Jon studied his mum closely,
biting his lip to stop the tears.

  
‘She doesn’t look old
enough to be almost married and a parent,’ he said.

  
‘She wasn’t and neither
was your father,’ his grandma said. ‘They were foolish kids who should have
known better. Still, they weren’t the first to make that mistake and they
certainly won’t be the last. But Eddie and Jane have done a wonderful job of
bringing you up, Jonathon. Angie would have been very proud of you. I want you
to pass that on to Eddie, and let him know that I’d like bygones to be bygones.

  
‘We never saw eye to eye.
He always had a bee in his bonnet that I blamed him solely for Angie’s
pregnancy. But my daughter was a wild one and it took the pair of them to
tango. I couldn’t get close to Eddie; he was always on the defensive. Their
marriage was doomed from the start; they were better apart. Eddie was happier
with Jane and Angie with Richard. It’s a pity Angie and Richard didn’t have
more time together. Will you pass my condolences on to Roy and Sammy over the
loss of their son? Rebel that he was, I always liked Roy Cantello. He had a
caring heart and he looked after Eddie like a brother.’

  
Jon nodded. ‘I’ll do
that.’ He got to his feet. ‘I’m sorry to leave so early, but I like to spend
time with Jess before she goes to sleep. She’s very depressed at the moment.
She and Nick had planned to marry in December.’

  
Sally nodded
sympathetically. ‘Well, Jonathon, don’t be a stranger. Come and visit us again
and bring your sister. Have you any more sisters and brothers by the way or is
it just you and Jess?’

  
Jon grinned. ‘No. After
Dad finished touring with
The Raiders
he decided he wanted to add to the family. He and Jane got busy and we have Katie
who’s eight and Dominic seven. They’re a handful, especially Katie. Dad’s a
house-husband, he looks after them and Mum runs a clothing business with
Roy
’s wife, Sammy.’

  
‘I can’t picture Eddie in
a flowery pinny,’ Sally laughed. ‘Leather jackets and drainpipe jeans used to
be more his style.’
 

  
‘He’s not
quite
at
that stage,’ Jon said. ‘He and Roy still write songs and they’re re-forming
The Raiders
when Tim and Pat come home
from the States.’

  
‘Oh, so young Tim’s in
America
, is he?’ his grandma said.

  
‘I forget that you
obviously knew them all,’ Jon said. ‘He’s back home on Saturday after years of
living in
Nashville
. He and Pat have two young daughters now. Pat’s had breast cancer
recently, so they’ve decided to return to
England
.’

  
‘I hope she makes a full
recovery,’ his grandma said. ‘Our Angie used to follow that group all over the
show when they first started out. It was your father she was after, of course
and she was determined to win him. She achieved her goal, even if it did all
backfire in the end. Ah well, youth never learns, does it? Go on, Jonathon, off
you go. Get back to that sister of yours. We’ll look forward to seeing you
again soon.’

***

CHAPTER
TWENTY THREE

‘How did it go?’ Eddie asked, searching Jon’s face for clues that he
might have discovered the truth.

  
‘Fine, Dad. They’re a
really nice bunch. Grandma talked a lot about Angie and you as well. She said
she’d like to make her peace with you.’

  
‘There’s a turn up for
the books. She used to be a right old witch.’

  
‘She’s a little old lady
with a blue-rinse now. She’s invited me to her home and the offer extends to
Jess, too.’

  
‘That’s nice of her,’
Jane said, walking into the room.

  
‘Hmm.
I
thought
so. Is Jess upstairs?’

  
‘She is. She’s waiting
for you. Her plaster co
mes
off her wrist tomorrow, so dad’s taking her to the hospital and
then he’s going swimming with
Roy
.’

  
‘Bloody hell, how come?’
Jon grinned. ‘I thought you’d given up on the keep fit after the jogging nearly
killed you.’
    

  
‘We need to build up
stamina before we start performing live again,’ his dad replied. ‘Anyway,
Roy
has a distinct lack of physical
activity in his life at the moment.’

  
Jane raised an eyebrow.
‘Not any more. I’ve just been speaking to Sammy.’
   

  
‘They’re back together?’
Jon asked.

  
‘Not that you’d notice.
Roy
’s sleeping at the hotel later. He
ate with Sammy this evening and shall we say they reached a mutual
understanding,’ Jane replied. ‘He’s gone to see Livvy now, supposedly to sort
out a plan of action to help her.’

  
‘More exercise then?’ Jon
quipped.

  
‘Oh, Jon, trust you. Even
Roy
wouldn’t stoop
that
low.
Would he?’ Jane turned to Eddie.

  
‘
I
don’t know
love. I’m not
Roy
’s keeper.’ If Eddie knew
Roy
, one look into Livvy’s baby-blues
and he’d be lost.

***

Jon tapped on Jess’s door and walked in. She was reclining against
the pillows, reading a magazine.
 

  
‘Hi, Jess.’ He bent to
kiss her cheek and felt the heat rush to his face.

  
‘Hi, you. Sit me up.’ She
held out her arms.

  
He lifted her into a sitting
position. His hands brushed against her breasts through the thin cotton of her
nightdress and he jerked away.

 
‘What’s wrong? Do I make
you nervous?’

  
‘Of course not.’ He took
a deep breath. Maybe it was time to tell her how he felt. Keeping it to himself
was killing him inside. She might understand, or more likely tell him to get
lost. She was looking at him, head on one side. What if he spoiled the
closeness they shared? She might never speak to him again. ‘It’s me,’ he began,
feeling his eyes fill. ‘For a while now I’ve been having these weird feelings
when I’m close to you. It’s freaking me out, Jess.’
 

  
‘What kind of weird
feelings? You’re all flushed. Come on, tell me.’
   

  
He looked up at the
ceiling for a long moment and sniffed. ‘Well - they’re very un-brotherly
feelings. I shouldn’t be getting them and I’m embarrassed that I am.’

  
Jess looked away and
sucked in her cheeks.

  
‘Say something to me,
Jess, for God’s sake. Tell me to stop being stupid.’ She remained silent. Jon
wished he’d kept his mouth shut. Then she spoke quietly, not quite looking him
in the eye.

  
‘I have very un-sisterly
feelings towards you, too,’ she mumbled.

  
‘What do you mean?’
   

  
She blushed. ‘After that
time in
France
when you said you wished you were Nick,
I’ve often wondered what you’re like naked and how it would feel to kiss you
properly on the lips.’

  
Jon blew out his cheeks
and nodded. ‘Maybe we’re attracted to one another because we’re half-siblings
and not fully blood related.’
   

  
‘I don’t know,’ Jess
shrugged. ‘It’s very wrong to feel like this. Maybe it’s because I’m missing
Nick or something. But even when I was
with
Nick, it never stopped me
feeling jealous when you were with one or other of your girlfriends, especially
Helen. I used to think hey, that’s my big brother you’re snogging. I always
wondered what she was feeling while you were kissing her.

  
‘
I
was
irrationally jealous of Nick,’ Jon confessed. ‘When he told me you’d first
slept together I wanted to thump him and wipe the smile from his face, even
though he was my best mate. I couldn’t bear the thought of him touching you
like that. I had a job keeping my feelings under control
that
day.’

  
‘I saw it in your face,’
she said. ‘He was always jealous of our closeness. Poor Nick, I think maybe he
was a little insecure with me, which is probably the reason he wanted us to
marry quickly.’ She reached out and stroked his cheek with her plastered hand.

  
He took hold of it. ‘This
is coming off tomorrow.’

  
‘It is, thank God.’

  
He uncurled her fingers.
‘I bet it will feel really strange for a while.’

  
She nodded.
   

  
He wrapped a tendril of
her hair around his finger. ‘I want to kiss you,’ he said softly.

  
Jess closed her eyes and
sighed. ‘Jon, we can’t, can we?’

  
‘We shouldn’t, but we
can.’

  
‘And if we do, then
what?’

  
‘We might not like it,’
he teased.

  
‘That’s true.’

  
‘Well, then?’

 
‘Well …then.’ She looked
at him.

  
He took her in his arms
and kissed her very gently on the lips. She responded, kissing him back.

  
‘Well?’ He smiled,
pulling away.

  
‘
Well!
’ she
replied, nodding.

  
He kissed her again and
held her close, feeling the warmth of her body through her nightdress.

  
‘Oh, Jess,’ he sighed
into her hair.

  
She ran her good hand
through his curls and smiled. ‘That was wonderful. I had good reason to be
jealous of Helen, didn’t I?’

  
‘Did you?’ He lowered her
back against the pillows and lay beside her, kissing her again. He undid the
buttons down the front of her nightdress and slid his hand inside, touching her
breasts. She gasped and kissed him harder, moving her body closer as his tongue
probed hers.

  
‘Jess,’ he sighed,
holding her close.

  
‘We’d better stop, before
we go too far,’ she said as his hand brushed down across her stomach towards her
thighs.

  
‘I know. I don’t want to
though, it feels so right.’

  
‘It does, but it scares
me. We shouldn’t feel this way. It’s incestuous and against the law.’

  
He nodded. ‘Not only
that, Dad would kill me. I’d better sit away from you, you’re making me horny.’

  
‘Tell me about Angie’s
family; that will take your mind off

things.’

  
‘You reckon?’ He lifted
her into a sitting position and re-buttoned her nightdress.

  
‘I bet you’ve never done
that before, buttoned anyone up.’

  
‘Just the opposite,’ he
said, grinning. He told her about his visit to Aunt Sally’s. ‘So, do you fancy
coming to
Hastings
with me for a few days?’ he finished.

  
‘I’d love to. My ankle
plaster co
mes
off next week and I start
physiotherapy. So what about going at the end of November? My ankle should be
strong enough to hobble around on properly by then.’

  
‘That sounds fine. I can
let Sean know a week or two before we go. I need to take the time off before
Livvy finishes for her leave.’

  
‘Is she going on
holiday?’

  
‘Oh shit! I forgot, you
don’t know.’

  
‘Don’t know what?’ Jess
frowned.

  
‘She’s pregnant. She’s
going on maternity leave soon.’

  
‘No. Bloody hell!
She
hasn’t wasted much time finding someone else, has she?’

  
‘Jess, the baby’s
Roy
’s.’

  
Jess’s jaw dropped.
‘Fuck! Sammy will kill him when she finds out.’

  
‘She knows.
Roy
’s visiting Livvy tonight to
discuss what she wants to do.’

  
‘I can’t believe it. How
does
Roy
feel? He’s forty-two. He’s far too
old to be bringing kids into the world.’

  
‘Well obviously he’s not.
It would appear that he’s still in very good working order.’

  
‘Nick would have had
something to say about this. Does Jason know?’

  
‘I don’t know. I haven’t
seen much of Jason recently; he’s always with that Jules guy.’

  
‘I just can’t believe
it,’ Jess said, shaking her head.

  
‘I’m going to bed now,
Jess. I’ll see you in the morning before I go to work.’ Jon leant over and
kissed her gently on the lips again, but she pulled him close and kissed him
back, running her fingers through his curls.
 

  
‘I wish you could stay
with me and hold me all night. I haven’t been held all night since the
accident,’ she said, a catch in her voice.

  
‘I wouldn’t be able to
trust myself,’ Jon responded truthfully. ‘I’d want to shag you and then we’d be
really
breaking the law.’

  
‘But we’re not doing any
real harm just kissing and cuddling, are we? So long as we don’t get
too
carried away.’

   
Jon grinned. ‘It’s a
deal. See you in the morning. Goodnight, Jess.’

  
‘Night, Jon.’

***

Jane ran upstairs and found Jon leaning with his back against
Jess’s bedroom door, his eyes closed, breathing deeply.

  
‘Jon, are you okay?’ she
asked, taking in his flushed cheeks and haywire curls.

  
‘Fine, Mum. Just a bit
tired. It was quite an emotional time at Aunt Sally’s.’

  
‘I’m sure. Are you off to
bed now?’
                      

  
‘Yes, I’ve said goodnight
to Jess. I’ll nip down and say goodnight to Dad.’

  
‘'Okay, love.’ Jane
stared after him as he ran lightly down the stairs. She shook her head and knocked
on Jess’s door.

  
‘What have you forgotten
now?’ Jess called out in a teasing voice.

  
Jane opened the door and
peeped in. ‘It’s me, Jess, not Jon.’

  
‘Oh hi, Mum. Come in.’

  
‘Are you okay, is the
radiator too hot in this room? You look flushed and so did Jon.’ Jess’s cheeks
had a bloom to them and her eyes sparkled for the first time in weeks.

  
‘I’m alright,’ she
replied. ‘Jon was telling me about his mum’s family and how his grandma’s
invited us both for a visit.’

  
‘When you consider the bad
feeling between her and your dad, I think it’s a very nice gesture,’ Jane said.
‘It shows she’s willing to put the past behind her. Do you fancy going with
Jon?’

  
‘Yeah definitely. It will
give me something to look forward to. Hey, Mum, what about
Roy
, then? If it weren’t such a
serious matter I’d laugh. Fancy slipping up at his age! He’ll never live it
down, will he? What on earth will Pat and Tim make of it all?’

  
‘Heaven only knows.’ Jane
rolled her eyes ‘Right, I’ll check on the kids and then your dad and I are
going to bed. See you in the morning, love.’ She bent to kiss Jess goodnight.
‘God, you reek of Jon’s cologne.’