The Risk: Scott's Story (Runaway Love Series Book 2) (5 page)

The reality, though, is that I didn’t. If I’m honest with myself, I think I wanted to live life for me for a change. Sure, I can blame my absentee dad or my drugged out mom or all the different foster parents who never cared enough to keep me, but the truth is I can only blame myself. I enjoyed not having to take care of anyone but myself. I enjoyed doing whatever, and whomever, I wanted when I wanted. I only answered to myself, and it seemed like the greatest and most freeing way to live. I never once stopped to consider the consequences or long term effects on myself and Grace. I’m human; I make mistakes, but my choices are deplorable.

I don’t want to be the Scott Peters I created anymore. I want to find the good parts of Scott Fordham again and include them in my life. I realize that I’m meant to be a combination of my past, present, and future. I have to be the man Grace needs me to be. I have to be a better person to everyone around me, including myself. I know it won’t be easy, and I know it won’t happen overnight, but I’m determined to work on myself. Like a soccer ball, I’ve been kicked and beaten, but I’ll reach my goal. I choose to silence my phone and not to drink that night so I can be clearheaded as I make plans on how I can become a better Scott Peters and win my Grace’s heart back.

Shit! I forgot to tell Grace about Maxine coming. I know Maxine will be here at any time, so I need to get ahold of Grace. When I look at my phone, I notice I have several missed messages. Shit. I leave Grace several voice messages to call me back as soon as possible.

“Grace, I need to speak to you right away. It’s important,” I say urgently the moment she calls me back.

“You’re going to have to talk now because I’m on my way back home, and I’m pretty sure Tony will still be there.”

“Well…” Great, now I’m trying to avoid telling her again!

“Well, what, Scott? Spit it out. I’m almost home.”

“Maxine is coming here,” I admit quietly.

“She’s what? What about me? You came to New York to spend time with
me
, not her!” I knew she’d be upset, but I’m taken aback by the intensity of her reaction.

“Grace, I did come here for you. You know that. She’s only coming because the press is reporting that I’m here frolicking with a beautiful red head.”

“I could’ve given you a heads up about the leak to the press last night if you would’ve responded to my texts. What were you doing that you were too busy to text me back?”

“I wasn’t with Maxine, if that’s what you’re trying to insinuate. She’s just a friend. I fell asleep because I haven’t gotten much rest thinking about you, dreaming about what I want to do with you…”

“Don’t try and flatter me, Scott Peters! And don’t try to change the subject. ‘Friends’ don’t fly half-way around the world because of a story in some gossip magazines. There’s obviously so much more between the two of you that you aren’t telling me. You know what? No. Forget it. I’m done with this. Whatever, or whoever, you do is your business. I’m home now, and I’m going in to relax with my husband who is always here for me, even when he’s tired. Besides, at least I know I’m the only woman in
his
life!” Grace hangs up the phone without saying goodbye.

Well, that went well
, I think sarcastically. I head downstairs to have breakfast, and when I return to my room, Maxine’s waiting for me. Geesh, this woman doesn’t waste any time. I ignore her as I pour myself an early morning shot of whiskey.

“Scott, aren’t you even going say hello? I came all the way here to see you because I missed you.” Maxine’s pout has no effect on me whatsoever.

“You came all the way here to check up on me, Maxine. You’re dying to know what’s going on with Grace and knew I’d never give you details over the phone.” I down my whiskey and pour myself another glass.

“I don’t understand why, after all these years, you felt the urgent need to come see Grace. Is she sick or something? Dying? You know she’s a married woman, so I hope you didn’t come here expecting to get her into your bed…”

“What is your fucking problem, Maxine?” I walk over to her and get my face as close to hers as possible so she won’t misunderstand a single word I say. “I love Grace. She’s the one and only woman I’ll ever love. I’ll do whatever she asks me; I’ll be whomever she wants me to be. From this moment on, I’m living my life for Grace, and mark my words, she
will
be mine again.”

Maxine smiles and licks my lips. What the fuck? I pull back. “Maxine, stop it! Did you hear anything I just said?”

“I love when you get all frazzled when we talk about your love. How about we do something to relieve some of your tension? You know I’m here to help.” I can’t help but stare at her with my mouth hanging open. Is she for real? What kind of crazy woman have I allowed into my life?

Maxine flashes me the smile that I noticed the first time I met her. She used to run into my room to hang out and talk when I was staying with her parents. We talked about anything and everything, and eventually I opened up and told her all about Grace. I thought we were developing a brother-sister type relationship, and I really enjoyed hanging out with her. Then she started to flirt with me to get my attention, and I realized she had a crush on me. I always tried to ignore it and stick to sibling boundaries. She pulled out all the stops one night when we went to a club, and I could no longer resist her. Hey, I was still a man who loved sex. We went back to my flat that I’d just bought and had the best sex I could imagine. She wasn’t Grace, but she was an amazing substitute.

Maxine was great to have around. She accompanied me to events and cheered me on, and off, the field. The more time we spent together, though, I could tell that Maxine’s feelings were deepening toward me, but I chose to ignore it. I should’ve ended things with Maxine when she started having issues with my Grace tattoo and made me wear a shirt while having sex so she wouldn’t have to see it. When Maxine told me she loved me, I had to stop seeing her. Our relationship wasn’t built on love, and I knew it never would be. She and I were just supposed to be friends with benefits. I made it clear from the beginning that my heart belonged to Grace and only Grace. Maxine always came back to me even though she knew I’d never change my mind about our status or about Grace.

I’m brought out of my reverie by a pressure on my cock. I open my eyes to realize that I’m on my back with Maxine on top of me, stroking me.

“Well, thank you for coming back. I thought I was going to have to have sex with a dead man.” Maxine stands up to take off her shirt, and I remove my shirt to remind her where my heart belongs.

She makes a face and bites her lip, not wanting to say anything to push me away. I pull her onto the bed and fuck her just how she likes it. She enjoys it when I have rough sex with her. I really just want to be done with her, but Maxine can come in handy sometimes. After we finish, I don't even lie there to hold her. I sit on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands.

“You don't understand, Maxine. Every time you are under me, all I see is Grace. All I want is Grace.” I stand up and go to the bathroom to wash Maxine off my body. I feel a little sick with myself. I feel like I just cheated on Grace.

Over the running water, I hear, “You’re an asshole, Scott, but I still love you.” Why must she say the fucking L word? She knows it gets under my skin.

When I get out of the shower, I’m hoping Maxine is gone. No such luck.

I look at Maxine lying on the bed with her eyes closed. Ugh, I hate when she sticks around like a nagging sister. Mr. Rivers probably sent her to keep an eye on me. As if she can read what’s on my mind, Maxine opens her eyes to give me a dirty look.

“Oh please, Scott, don't get your knickers in a twist. Don't forget you’re taking me shopping. We have to keep up your public image. I don't know who leaked you’re here, but it's out already. I’ll be back in a little while to go, so make sure you’re ready.” I ignore her as she dresses and leaves and drink some whiskey out of the bottle.

Coming back here, to this town, is hard for me in more ways than one. I came for Grace, but today is actually my mother’s birthday. I don’t want to acknowledge it, but today is her day. I know my mother loved me as much as she allowed herself to love me; I was her only child, after all. I think the pain of losing my father, the man she loved with all her heart, was just too much to handle. My mom couldn’t live with the loss, so she turned to drugs to help manage the pain. When she was high, she would sometimes tell me about my dad, and I enjoyed these conversations. I learned about how they made music together, and she would sometimes sing to me. When she was sober, though, she wouldn’t hesitate to remind me that my dad left us for his
real
family.

I tried so hard to be enough for her. I saw other kids hug their moms, so I’d hug my mom as often as I could. I saw other kids hold their moms’ hands, so I tried to hold her hand. Other kids would pick flowers for their moms, so I’d gather the most flowers I could pick. Nothing I ever did helped my mom to smile; it was like she was dead inside until the drugs kicked in. Eventually, my mom was angry and withdrawn all the time. She cared about her next hit more than anything, even more than me.

I grab the whiskey bottle and walk into the bathroom to pour the rest down the drain. I look into the mirror and look into the same eyes I share with my mother.
Happy Birthday, Mom. I hope you’re proud.

I’m about to get dressed to take Maxine to the mall when my phone rings.

“Hello, Mr. Rivers,” I say politely as I sit on my bed.

“Well, Scott, I hear you’re on some adventure there. When do you plan on giving up the chase and coming back?” Seriously? Maxine must’ve called her dad the moment she walked out of my room.

I sigh before responding, “I’m not on an adventure, sir. I’m here on vacation, and I will come back when I’m ready… If I even want to come back.”

“Oh no, Scott. Don’t try and be a man now. You’ll come back and finish this contract out before you make a decision to quit.”

I laugh into the phone. I hate being told what I can and I can’t do. “I’m not eighteen anymore. I’m not that little boy who you tricked and stole from.”

I shouldn’t have brought that up, but I’ve always hated him for the underhanded requirements that were in my contract. When I was twenty-one, I realized I should’ve been getting more money than I was. I took my contract to a lawyer to figure out what was going on. I was told I had naively signed a ten year contract allowing Mr. Rivers to pretty much own me and collect half the money I make from anything relating to soccer. With the help of a financial advisor, I began investing my money that very day so I’ll have a nice nest egg for the day I tell Mr. Rivers where to stick my contract. That day is fast approaching, and thankfully I invested very wisely.

“Are you listening to me, Scott?” Mr. Rivers’ demanding voice brings me back to the present. “Leave Grace there with her family and come back home.”

I feel a chill run through my body the moment he mentions Grace’s name. “Listen, don’t ever mention Grace’s name again! I’ll come back when
I
decide to come back.” I disconnect the call and send a text to Maxine:

Don’t ever fucking cross me again!

Instead of getting ready for the mall, I head to the gym to fuck some shit up. I take all my frustration out on a punching bag. A trainer comes over to tell me to relax a little, but I give him the death stare and he backs off quickly. I know Maxine tells her father everything, but enough is enough. I need to be able to trust her as a confidante, but her loyalties will always lie with her dad. Why do I even keep her in my life?

When I return to my room, Maxine’s sitting on my freshly made bed dressed in her designer clothes. She looks so prim and proper, but I know what really lies beneath her overly Botoxed surface.

“Yes, what can I do for you?” Maxine blanches at the coldness in my voice, but quickly recovers to look at me with her sad-puppy blue eyes.

“I’m sorry, but Daddy wanted to know the real reason you were here. I had to tell him; I can’t lie to my dad. Anyway, I’m ready for you to take me shopping.” I give her another cold look and get in the shower without saying anything to her. Sometimes it just isn’t worth it. She’s probably as evil as her father.

Why didn’t I just ignore Mr. Rivers when he approached me all those years ago to talk about soccer? I could’ve just kept my last name and gone through with all the plans Grace and I had made. Would Grace and I have actually worked out for each other? We’re both fucked up, but once again it all comes back on me. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself - Grace was fucked up the day I met her. I can’t imagine how difficult it was for her to not have any family. I’ll never tell Grace this, but after I left Ms. Allen’s, I did some research on Grace’s family and learned that her mother committed suicide after Grace was born. Wait – all of a sudden it dawns on me- Grace must have suffered the same thing after she gave birth to Scottie.

FUCK!

I turn the shower off, wrap a towel around my waist, and walk into the room so I can get dressed. Maxine is watching TV, pretending that everything’s all right between us.