The Rip-Off (13 page)

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Authors: Jim Thompson

Tags: #Fiction, #Crime, #Mystery & Detective, #Hard-Boiled, #General, #Thrillers, #Suspense, #Horror

BOOK: The Rip-Off
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"Excuse me for not getting up," I said.

"I want to see you downstairs, Britt!" He spoke with his head turned. "Immediately, understand?"

"Of course," I said. "Just as soon as I get something in-order."

"And you, too." He addressed Kay without looking at her. "I want to see you, too,
Officer Nolton!
"

23
I suppose I should have seen the truth from the start. Almost any fool would have, I am sure, so that should have qualified me for seeing it. I hadn't because I am a plain, garden-variety sort of fool, not the devious kind. I am a worshipper at the shrine of laissez faire, a devotee of the status quo. I accept things as they are, for what they are, without proof or documentation. I ask no more than a quid pro quo. And failing to get a fair exchange, I will normally accept the less that is offered. In a word, I am about as un-devious as one can be. And having no talent nor liking for deception, I am easily deceived. As per, the present instance.

Claggett wanted me to have round-the-clock protection. Which is not easily managed by a mere detective sergeant in an undermanned, tightly budgeted police department. He didn't want me to know that I had such protection, believing that I would inadvertently reveal it where it was best not revealed. So the cop he planted on me was also a nurse, someone whose presence in the house would be taken for granted. And since she
was
a nurse, he could have her wages paid by PXA's insurers, thus quieting any objections from the P.D.

Naive as I was I would still ask myself why a nurse would take such a potentially dangerous job. Claggett had provided the answer by making it appear that there was something wrong with her, or that there
could
be something wrong with her. That not only satisfied my curiosity as to why she was taking the job, but it would also-he hoped-make me wary of her. I would shy away from any personal involvement with her, and she would not be distracted from her duties as a cop.

Well, the deception had worked fine, up to a point. A cop had been planted on me, and I had no idea that she was a cop. Doubts about her good intentions had been planted in my mind, and I did my damnedest to hold her at a distance. Why then had I wound up in bed with her? How could she have been so outrageously derelict in her duty?

Claggett swore savagely that it was too damned much for him.

I said, somewhat uncomfortably, that he seemed to be making too much of a much over the matter. "After all, it's Friday afternoon, Jeff. Everyone relaxes and lets down a bit on Friday afternoon."

"Everyone doesn't have a nut after him," snapped Claggett. "A screwed-up broad who's been snatching his scalp by bits and pieces, and just may decide she wants his life along with it!"

"Now, Jeff," I said. "I'm practically convinced that Manny-"

"Shut up," Claggett said, and turned coldly to Kay. "I don't believe you were wearing a gun when I arrived today. What do regulations say about that?"

"I'm sorry, sir. I-"

"You're a disgrace!" said Claggett, cutting me off again before I was able to say anything effective. "I found the door unlocked, and standing wide open! And you naked and unarmed with the man you were supposedly protecting!"

"Y-yes, sir. I'm thoroughly ashamed, sir, and I swear it won't happen again!"

"No, it won't. You're suspended from duty, as of this moment, and you'll be up before the disciplinary board just as soon as I can arrange it!"

Kay wasn't blushing any more. She was apparently fresh out of blushes, and she was very pale as she got to her feet. "Whatever you say, Sergeant. I'll start getting my things together."

Claggett brought her back to her chair with a roar. "You, Officer Nolton, will remain in this room until you are told to do otherwise. As for you, Britt"-he gave me a look of weary distaste, "I've been trying to help you, and I've gone to considerable lengths to do it. Much further than I should have, in fact. Do you think this was the right way to repay me?"

"Of course, I don't, since you obviously consider it wrong and it's caused problems for Miss Nolton. I myself don't feel that it was wrong per se but there's a variable factor involved. I mean, something is good only so long as it doesn't make others unhappy."

"Hmmm," he said, his blue eyes brooding. "Well! I do feel that you've let me down, but that doesn't excuse Officer Nolton. If-"

"It should. Let's face it, Jeff," I said. "I'm quite a bit older than Miss Nolton-also a lot more experienced. And I'm afraid I was persistent with her to a shameful degree. Please don't blame her, Jeff. It really was all my fault."

Claggett's brows went up.

He grimaced, lips pursed, then turned an enigmatic gaze on Kay. "How about it, Nolton? Is that the way it was?"

"Well, I
am
much younger than-" She broke off, sat very erect and dignified. "I wouldn't care to say, sir!"

Claggett ran a hand over his mouth. He looked at Kay a moment or two longer, apparently seeing something in her of great interest, then faced back around to me. "You started to say something about Miss Aloe. Anything important?"

"I think so. She was out here to the house today, and she apologized for what she'd done. Implied that she hadn't been rational or responsible for her actions."

"And?"

"She promised not to make any more trouble-got pretty emotional about it. I'm convinced that she meant it, Jeff."

"Well, I'm
not
," said Kay; and here came that pretty blush again. "I'm sorry Sergeant. I didn't mean to butt in, but I've observed Miss Aloe very carefully and I thought you'd want my opinion as a police officer."

"I do," said Claggett. "In detail, please."

"She's just a snippy, snotty little wop, that's what! I'm sure there are a great many good people of her race, but she's not one of them."

Claggett's interest in her seemed to increase tremendously. He would shift his fascinated gaze away from her; then, as though against his will, it would slowly move back and fasten on her again. Meanwhile, he was saying that he had undergone a complete change of mind, and that she should by all means remain on her present duty.

"Oh, thank you, Sergeant!" She smiled on him brilliantly. "I know you were kind of disappointed about… but it won't happen again, sir!"

"Ah, well," said Claggett, easily. "A pretty young girl and a handsome, sophisticated older man-how could I blame you for succumbing? And what's to blame, anyway? Just don't forget you've got business here, too."

"Yes, sir! I won't get caught with my-I'll remember, sir!"

"Good," Claggett beamed. "I'm sure you mean that, and it wouldn't be practical to pull you off the job, anyway. Not with so short a time to go."

"Uh, sir?"

"I mean, we should know how things stand with Miss Aloe very soon. If she's going to pull anything, she'll do it within the next week or so, don't you think?"

"Well…" Kay hesitated doubtfully. "Why do you say that, sir?"

"Because she's a very pretty girl, too," Claggett said, "and pretty girls have a way of being jealous of other pretty girls. If she still cares enough for Mr. Rainstar to be mad at him, she'll try to stop him having fun with you. And she won't waste time about it."

Kay said, "Well, yes, sir. Maybe." But rather doubtfully. Not exactly sure that she had been complimented.

Claggett said he was glad she agreed with him. And he was glad to be glad, he said, because he was really pretty sad when he thought of her imminent resignation from the police department.

"Just as soon as you've finished this assignment. Of course," he went on, "I realize it's the smart thing for you to do, a girl who's shown an aptitude for so many things in such a short span of time. Let's see. You've been a nurse, a secretary, an airline stewardess, a-yes, Officer Nolton?"

"I said, you can have my resignation right now if you want it! And you know what you can do with it, too!"

"Well, sure, sure," Claggett said heartily. "For that matter, I could have you kicked out on your ass. For stated reasons that would make it hard for you to get a job washing towels in a whorehouse. Well?" He paused. "Do you want me to do that?"

Kay muttered something under her breath.

Claggett leaned forward. "I didn't hear you! Speak up!"

"I…" Kay wet her lips. "No, sir. I don't want you to."

"Don't want me to do what?"

"Don't!" I said. "For God's sake, drop it, Jeff."

He gestured curtly, ordering me to butt out. To mind my own business and let him mind his. I said I couldn't do that.

"You've made your point, Jeff. So let it go at that. You don't need to watch her bleed." I crossed over to Kay, spoke to her gently. "Want to go up to your room? It'll be all right with the sergeant, won't it, Jeff?"

"Yeah, hell, dammit!" he said sourly.

"Kay." I touched her on the shoulder. "Want me to help you?"

She shook off my hand.

She buried her face in her hands, and began to shake with silent weeping.

Claggett and I exchanged a glance. He stood up, jerked his head toward the door and went out. I took another glance at Kay, saw that her trembling had stopped and followed him.

We shook hands at the front door, and he apologized for coming down hard on Kay. But he seemed considerably less than overwhelmed with regret. The little lady had been under official scrutiny for a long time, he said, and her conduct today had simply triggered an already loaded gun.

"I'm not referring to catching her in the raw with you. I had to bawl her out for it, but that's as far as it would have gone-if there'd been nothing more than that. It was her attitude about it, her attitude in general, the things she said. If you know what I mean." He sighed, shook his head. "And if you don't know, to hell with you."

"I know," I said. "But she was pretty upset, Jeff. If you'll look at things from her viewpoint…"

"I won't," said Jeff. "You can be fair without seeing the other fellow's side of things, Britt. Keep doing that and you stop having a side of your own. You get so damned broadminded that you don't know right from wrong."

I said that I didn't always know now, and he said I should ask him whenever I was in doubt. "Incidentally, I spoke to a lawyer about the way you'd been gypped out of your property for that city dump, and he thinks you've got a hell of a good case. In fact, he's willing to take it on a contingency for a third of what he can recover."

"But I've told you," I said, "I just can't do it, Jeff. I'm simply not up to a courtroom battle."

"My lawyer friend thinks they'd go for an out-of-court settlement."

"Well, maybe," I said. "But Connie would be sure to find out about it, and I'd still be up the creek. She'd grab any money I got, and give me a good smearing besides."

"I don't see that." Claggett frowned. "You've been sending her quite a bit of money, haven't you?"

"Better than four thousand since I got out of the hospital."

"Then why should she want to give you a bad time? Why should she throw a wrench in a money machine? She hurts you, she hurts herself."

I nodded, said he was probably right. But still.

"I'm just afraid to do it, Jeff. I don't know why I am but I am."

He looked at me exasperatedly, and seemed on the point of saying something pointed. Instead, however, he sighed heavily and said he guessed I just couldn't help it.

"But think it over, anyway, won't you? You don't need to commit yourself, but you can at least think about it, can't you?"

"Oh, well, sure," I said. "Sure, I'll think about it."

"That's a promise?"

"Of course," I said.

He left. I returned to Kay who was well-prepared to receive me.

"I could simply kill you!" she exploded. "You made me lose my job, you stupid old boob you!"

"I'm sorry," I said. "But I'm sure you were much too good for it."

"I was not! I mean-why didn't you speak up for me? It was all your fault, anyway, but you didn't say a word to defend me!"

"I thought I did, but possibly I didn't say enough," I said. "I really don't think it would have changed anything, however, regardless of what I'd said."

"Oh,
you!
What do you know, you silly old fool?"

"Very little," I said. "And at the rate I'm aging, I'm afraid I won't be able to add much to my store of knowledge."

She glared at me, her face blotched and ugly like a soiled picture. She said angrily that I hadn't needed to act like a fool, had I? Well,
had
I?

"You didn't even give him time to open his mouth before you were cracking your silly jokes! Saying that I couldn't wear my gun because it didn't match my birthday suit, and a lot of other stupid silly stuff. Well, you weren't funny, not a doggone bit! Just a plain darned fool, that's all you were!"

"I know," I said.

"You
know?
"

"It's a protective device." I nodded. "The I-ain't-nothin'-but-a-hound-dawg syndrome. When a dog can't cope, he flops over on his back, thumps his tail, wiggles his paws and exposes his balls. Briefly, he demonstrates that he is a harmless and amusing fellow, so why the hell should anyone hurt him? And it works pretty well with other dogs, literal and figurative. The meanest mastiff has never masticated me, but I've taken some plumb awful stompings from pussycats."

"
Huh!
You think you're so smart, don't you?"

"Meow, sppftt," I said.

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