The Revolution (25 page)

His chest covers my back as his body falls into the same blazing bliss. Kisses are placed on the back of my neck and down my spine, bringing the romance back full circle. He falls to the side. My body is stiff, betraying me after such an amazing high. I straighten my legs, falling flat on my chest. When I turn to look at him, my hair sticks to my face, but Kaz carefully pushes it away until I can see him. He watches my mouth, then leans down and kisses me. “You’re worth the trouble.”

“You say that now, when everything feels good, when we feel invincible.”

“No, I say that always. So I gotta warn you now, you might be stuck with me.”

I kiss him, then with my eyes closed, I lean my forehead against his, appreciating the peace I feel with him. “That sounds like an offer I can’t refuse.”

I TOLD MYSELF
I would never rush into another relationship ever again, but that was before I was with Kaz. He makes me want to free-fall from the clouds, like that is an actual possibility. He gave me hope when I was at my lowest, swooping in and giving me strength when I struggled to find it.

But as I watch him in the hours just before dawn, Mark’s threats replay in my mind. Good and evil. Kaz and Mark. Kaz is reliable and caring, everything Mark is not. Mark is unpredictable, and the drugs are making him rage. How he’ll react to the red carpet incident is worrisome. I know him too well. He won’t let this go. His plan didn’t play out how he wanted and he’ll make us pay. How? When? Where? I feel edgy from the questions that linger in the air.

I kiss Kaz on the cheek. I don’t want to give him up. My like… my
love
for him runs too deep. Our relationship has been on a fast track and reckless, but it’s true and wild, and free. Mark can’t destroy us. He may hinder, but he won’t win in the end. My faith in the man next to me is too strong.

Slipping out of bed, I tiptoe into the bathroom, wanting to freshen up. I turn on the shower and brush my teeth while the water warms. Removing my makeup will show the little bruising that remains, but I’m not worried about exposing my flaws to Kaz. He’s seen me at my worst physically and emotionally, and been at the receiving end when I pushed him away. I don’t have a fear of him leaving me now. He’s done more than he ever needed for me to believe he plans on sticking around. I just hope he’ll see I’m willing to do the same for him.

The water is the perfect temperature when I walk into the shower. I close my eyes and let it rain down over me. It feels good to wash away the night, especially knowing I get a fresh start with the man in the next room.

The door is opened, and cool hands caress my breasts from behind. The bridge of his nose glides behind the shell of my ear before he whispers in it, “You snuck off.”

“I wanted to get clean for you.”

His hands go lower, one moving between my legs. “I like you dirty.”

Curious, I ask, “How dirty do you like it?”

“However dirty you’re willing to go?”

“Can I be honest with you?”

My body is left bare and he moves in front of me. His voice remains relatively calm when he replies, “Always be honest with me.” Despite looking into Kaz’s open and warm eyes, I hear Mark’s bitter and snide remarks as if he was here in the room.
I pay hookers for deviant sexual acts that you wouldn’t do.

“I’m boring. I’ve not really done anything sexually adventurous.”

“I like that.”

“But you’re a rock star. You’ll get bored.”
I don’t want to see photos of him with other women too. I think that would break me.

“Hey,” he says, his tone changing as worry creases his brow. “We’re not just sex, Lara. We’re more than that.”

“Are we?”

“Yes.” He taps my chin. “It’s you, Lara. Only you.”

“I feel the same for you, Kaz.”

“There’s shit to sort out and consequences. I may be a rock star, but I’m also just a man. With us, it’s not just about who has been more sexually adventurous. Sex between us is amazing because it’s you and me. Okay?”

My smile for him is soft as I touch his cheek with one hand and hold his hand with the other. “Okay.” Words can be toxic when spewed from a narcissistic, controlling drugged asshole. But Kaz’s words heal, a soothing balm to my battered and bruised heart.

“I still need to know that you’re okay.”

“I might have some bad times, but right here with you, I’m more than okay.”

“Since we’re opening up—”

I grab the shampoo and pour some in both of our hands. “Are we opening up? I don’t seem to know much about you. Still.”

Instead of scrubbing his own hair, his hands come to my head and he rubs the shampoo on top before massaging my scalp. “I’m weak to a head massage.”

“I’m hoping you’re weak to me in general.”

I look up at him. “I am. Can’t you tell?”

“We’re on equal footing then.”

I love that he considers us partners, both all in with the same stakes on the line. I reach for his head and say, “Bend a little.” He cocks an eyebrow and bends. I clean his hair, rubbing it together to make it stand in a sudsy Mohawk. “Tell me the craziest thing you’ve ever done.”

Laughter echoes in the space as a smile appears, fond memories surfacing in his eyes. “The craziest
and
stupidest thing I ever did was standing on the hood of a car on the Autobahn while it was going forty miles an hour. I lost to a guy who made it up to fifty.”

Slowly blinking in disbelief, I ask, “You mean you fell at forty miles an hour?”

“No. I stomped, which meant stop the car.”

“That is crazy stupid.”

“That was the last time I did molly. That drug made me brave in ways that would eventually kill me if I kept doing it.”

“It made me feel sexual the one time I did it in college.”

He dips his head under the water and rinses, his gaze firmly on me. “I like you sexual.”

“I don’t need drugs with you.”

Spinning me around so I’m under the water, he kisses my neck as I rinse my hair. “You could very much make me do crazy and stupid things.”

“Like a drug.”

“I’m already addicted to you.”

I kiss his lips, and then say, “Me too. And I think enough happened yesterday to satisfy those checkboxes. How about we try happy and calm things?”

“Right after this.” He lifts me until his hard cock is between my legs. With my back to the cold marble wall, I hold tight around his neck, my body wrapped around his, and I slowly slide down until he’s inside me. The feel of his slick erection feels too good, but I don’t stop him. I trust him and what he’s told me.

I don’t close my eyes this time, wanting to see his face, his reactions, his pleasure while embracing our connection.

Kaz’s head is tilted back, his lids heavy, a reflection of how I feel. His lips are parted and I get a glimpse of his tongue when the tip touches the front of his teeth. His hips move making my body slippery against the wall. With a quick adjustment, I’m pinned in place as he thrusts. Wet kisses fall away as he leans down to tackle my neck with sweetness and lust combined. He doesn’t whisper. He states his needs, the words emblazing themselves like a tattoo on my skin. “I want you so fucking badly.”

My fingers tangle into his hair. “You’ve got me.”

“I want more. So much more. Give me everything, baby. You feel so good. So, so good.”

I understand his needs. “You make me want to rush because this feels so good.”

“More. And faster.”

“Faster. And harder.”

He pumps in and out of me harder, listening to my cravings. “Fuck!” he yells against my chest as he comes, his body erratic. A deep inhale of breath, then exhaled in frustration as his fist slams to the wall. “I’m sorry. That was too fast.”

“It’s okay. I like when you lose control because it feels too good.”

“I wanted you to come first, but you felt too good.”

“I’ll come next,” I say, running my hands over his shoulders.

He sets my legs down and steadies me. “I’ll make you feel so good, baby.” He lowers to his knees and leans forward kissing up the length of my thigh before making me come twice with his hands and mouth. I can get used to coming last if it’s this good every time.

I sleep another three hours before I feel stirring next to me and hear Kaz’s groggy voice. “Your phone.”

Rolling onto my back, I open one eye and look up at the ceiling. “Huh?” I ask half asleep.

“Your phone is ringing.”

As I come to, his words start to make sense. “Oh.” I look around, but it’s nowhere to be found. I can hear it though. I hurry from bed and into the living room where I find my purse on the chair. I dig in and pull the phone out. Mark’s name flashes once before it goes to voicemail. Reality pops my peaceful bubble. I know I have to face my problems but I was hoping to do it after lunch.

Quietly padding back into the bedroom, I slip under the covers and close my eyes pretending that call never happened and trying for sweet dreams with Kaz again. He asks, “Was it him?”

I roll onto my side to face his direction and sigh. “Yes.”

“Did you want to answer?”

I’m not going to lie anymore. “It went to voicemail.”

“I don’t want you to see him again. I shouldn’t say things like that, but it’s how I feel and I’m not going to hide how I feel. I have to hide enough in my life, so I don’t want to do it with you.”

“I like that you told me how you feel.” I scoot closer to him. “If it makes a difference, I don’t want to see him again either. Everything I need to say can be said over the phone.”

“What is left to say?”

“He will get revenge. He’s not going to let yesterday just go. Neither will the press. He believes he holds the power by having those videos. But maybe there’s something I can say that will convince him not to release them.”

“Maybe there’s not. Then you’re just wasting your breath.”

I nod with my hands on his chest. “Kaz, I need you to trust me and let me do what I think is best.”

“I do trust you, but I don’t trust him. I don’t want you to see him again. He’s not safe.” He gets out of bed and walks into the bathroom. His shoulders are tense, his body agitated.

Sitting up, I wait with my back to the headboard and the sheet held over my chest. When he comes out, he leans against the doorframe, looking a little tired, but still so sexy. He’s not shy or embarrassed being naked like that. He’s just comfortable and all Kaz. “This situation could get nasty in the press. I don’t want to pull the band into a tabloid mess, but I’ll stand by you. I care about you and that’s what we do for people we care about.”

“It’s just that easy? You’ll risk being annihilated by the paparazzi because you care about me?” I look down, feeling terrible. “I don’t want that for you or the band. I don’t want that for us. That’s why I tried to push you away.”

His phone rings interrupting us. “That’s Tommy’s ringtone, so I should answer it. He doesn’t call before two if it’s not important.”

I wait on the bed as he runs to the living room to retrieve it. I hear him talking, a muffled voice that becomes louder and clearer. “What do you mean?”
Silence
. “No.”
Silence
. “Fuck!”

As much as I want to rush to his side, I know he’ll tell me when he hangs up, so I give him time and wait. He comes in and grabs his clothes. “I’ve got to go.”

“What’s happening?”

Dressed in jeans and a tee, he sits on the bed and starts to put on his socks and shoes. “I fucked up.” I stare at the back of his head, and he turns, our eyes catching. “And I’m about to pay the price for it.”

When he stands, he comes around the bed and sits down next to me. I take his hand, not wanting him to go. “Stay. Please.” I hate the wobble in my voice. It makes me feel weak.

Touching my cheek, his voice is not his own, but one that seems to carry burdens beyond since I’ve known him. “I can’t.” His smile is not big, but it makes me smile. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Lara.” His hand falls from my cheek and he says, “I’ll call you later.”

Sitting back, I watch him leave the room, eventually hearing the front door open and close. I go to lock it behind him and peek out the side window. Tommy is parked at the curb and Kaz is sitting in the passenger’s seat. He looks upset. Tommy looks like he’s in shock. I start to worry about what’s happening and am about to go out the door, the sheet wrapped around me be damned. But they drive away before I have the chance.