The Return of Brody McBride (2 page)

“I’m ready whenever you are,” Brody returned with a cocky grin. Owen wasn’t really pissed about the past between them. Not if a quick tussle would put the past to rest. Maybe that gaping ravine was just a pissy creek and Brody had been too stubborn to see it for what it was.

No, something else was going on here. Something making Owen angry and edgy.

“I did what you asked. I had the old man cremated,” Owen backtracked. “I still have the ashes.”

“I told you to dump his ass in a hot fire and let him burn.”

“Yeah, well, I thought you might like to be here for that. We could crack a few beers, cuss the man out for being a shitty father . . .” Owen stopped talking and appeared to go somewhere else.

“Man, what is with you?”

“You never answered me. Why are you here now?”

Brody ran both hands through his close-cropped hair, scratched the back of his head, and wished desperately for a cup of coffee and some hot food. He should have stopped before reaching the cabin and picked up a few provisions.

“Listen, Owen, my military career is over. I’ve got this business thing, but someone else runs the show.”

“Silent partner?” Owen guessed.

“Something like that. Anyway, I’ve got my disability from the military and some savings. The business is doing well, and I can live a comfortable life doing what I want.”

“What is it you want? You thinking of turning this place back into a working ranch?”

“I might get a few horses, but other than that, I haven’t really thought about it. I have something else I need to do first.”

“And what is that?” Owen asked, his voice hard and deliberate.

“I need your help with something.”

“Spit it out. Why are you here?” Taking a step closer, Owen fisted his hands at his side.

“I need to find Rain.”

Owen cussed, paced back and forth, and rubbed his hand across his jaw.

“I thought about asking Eli where I can find her, but I thought better of it.”

“You bet your ass you should think better of it. He’ll likely kill you as look at you.”

Brody laughed. Small-town people had long memories. After leaving Rain the way he did, and the things he’d done in those last few days, he wasn’t expecting a warm welcome from most people, but especially Rain’s father, Eli.

Still pacing, Owen went off like a machine gun again. “Why do you want to find her? What? You want to tell her you’re sorry for what happened?”

“Man, get a grip. Yes, I want to make things right.”

“What does that mean? Do you know?”

Brody narrowed his eyes. “Know what? Did something happen to Rain? Is she all right?”

Owen took a deep breath and paced again. “You don’t know,” he said absently.

“I haven’t spoken to her since the day I left, but you have.” Brody’s suspicions rose along with the hairs on the back of his neck. “What happened to her?”

“Is she the only one-night stand you’ll look up while you’re in town? Or is Roxy on your list of women to find?”

Brody grabbed Owen by the lapels of his suit jacket and hauled him up to his loafer-covered toes. Their faces inches apart, he said very calmly, “Rain was not a one-night stand.”

“You tossed her away like she was just another piece of ass.” Owen didn’t fight the hold Brody had on him.

Brody shoved Owen away and crossed his arms over his chest. He took a moment to remind himself that half the battle to win back Rain stood in front of him. Owen knew how to find Rain, and he’d tell him, or Brody would beat it out of him. The thought held a lot of appeal, but he’d come home to make amends, start a new life, not pound Owen into the mud.

“It wasn’t like that.”

“No. It wasn’t like that. It was worse. You went to Roxy behind Rain’s back. Snuck into her bed after leaving Rain.”

“It wasn’t like I went from Rain’s bed to Roxy’s. Rain and I weren’t sleeping together.”

“Only because you broke things off with her and pushed her away for no good reason. You two had been friends for years—more than that, for months. She was eighteen, in love with you, and you decided you’d sleep with that bitch, Roxy, instead of a great girl like Rain.”

“Is that what you really think?” Brody asked.

“It’s what the whole town thinks. It’s what Rain thought.”

“Don’t you think I know that? The thing is, my explanation wasn’t enough to make her change her mind.”

This time, Brody paced, then stopped to face Owen and his past.

“Dad ran up a substantial bar tab. He was drunk . . . Well, more drunk than usual and about ready to drive home. Roxy called and told me to come and get him.”

“She’d done that a hundred times,” Owen pointed out.

“Yep, but this time I went into the bar and sat beside him, miserable I’d broken up with Rain. I tried to obliterate her memory from my mind and drink away my anger over the old man dragging me down again. Five shots of whiskey later, Roxy comes by the table and asks to speak to me alone. Bad idea all the way around. I thought she’d give me shit about the amount of money the old man owed her. I prepared to tell her what an idiot she was for letting him run up such a big tab and refuse to pay for his stupidity and hers. Instead, she pulled me into her apartment and everything went to shit.”

“She had a thing for you for a long time,” Owen conceded. “She was a notorious flirt, but she chased after you with a compulsion.”

“Yeah, well, I always blew her off. Don’t get me wrong, she was every man’s wet dream. She might have been especially hot for me, but she was hot for any guy who walked through the door. I like my women willing, but not like that. Roxy was trouble with a capital T. I got myself into enough trouble all on my own. The two of us together were TNT.”

“Yeah, and you took out Rain with the blast.”

Brody didn’t deny it. He knew exactly what he’d done, why he’d done it. No excuse for his behavior.

Brody sighed. “Rain was different, everything I never thought I could have. I held on to her for as long as I could, praying one day she wouldn’t wake up and see what everyone else saw. I was a badass McBride, not good enough for her, not smart enough, or kind enough. Rain didn’t think any of those things, but I sure as hell proved her wrong.”

Owen remained quiet and watchful, waiting for him to finish his confession.

“So, there I am in Roxy’s place and feeling miserable for pushing Rain away. Roxy asks me why I’m drinking alone instead of out with Rain. Stupid drunk as I am, I tell her we broke up. Next thing I know, she’s a second skin on me and she whispers in my ear, ‘I’ll make you forget pretty little Rain.’”

Brody could still hear Roxy’s voice notch down a few octaves, feel her tongue slide over his earlobe. Even now, his gut twisted and he felt . . . dirty.

“The thing is, nothing and no one could ever make me forget Rain.”

“But you still slept with Roxy.”

“I closed my eyes, gave in to Roxy’s attempt to prove she could make me forget, and pretended that for a moment I had Rain. Worst mistake of my life.”

“That’s the fucking truth.”

Brody recognized his mistake the second he opened his eyes and saw the wrong woman under him. He zipped his fly and buttoned his jeans and stormed out of her place, hating himself for what he’d done.

Rain showed up at his door two days later, said she refused to give up on them, and jumped into his arms and proceeded to show him why they were so good together. Like he needed to be shown. Nothing ever felt as good as when he was with Rain—no matter what they were doing together.

He tried to cleanse his body and soul with the only woman who’d ever really cared about him. She’d always had a way of making him feel clean and good and worth something.

Too bad making love to her couldn’t erase the worst mistake of his life.

“So, you gave up Rain for a cheap fuck.”

“Wasn’t cheap.” Brody planted his hands on his hips, lowered his head and shook it, the sadness welling up his throat. With no more than a whisper, he said, “Cost me Rain.”

Brody looked around the ravaged room, a reflection of the mess his life had been in all these years. He wanted a clean slate, but he needed to clean up the past in order to get it.

“That woman cost me a hell of a lot. The old man still ended up wrecking his truck after leaving her bar years later. Killed a perfectly good deer in the process. Who knows, given time away from that place, maybe the old man would have sobered up one day, found religion and some good humor. Maybe I’d have just gotten older and wiser and decided his life wasn’t mine. I’ll never know because I fucked her and my life. Tossed it all away because I was pissed at the old man and myself for believing I wasn’t good enough for Rain. Hell, I was pissed at the fucking world. Why? Because I had a fucked-up childhood. Couldn’t pull my head out of my ass long enough to see if I wanted something I had to work for it, earn it, be willing to accept whatever came my way. Doesn’t matter now.”

“Roxy’s a hell of a lot worse than you know.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me at all.” Not much surprised him these days. “Roxy thought she was better than everyone because she knew everyone’s dirty little secrets. Most of it was drunken lies told to her chest. Lord knows, her tits were the most interesting thing about her. She is what she is. I made my choices. Paid for them and a hell of a lot more. I’ve done a lot worse than get drunk and have sex with Roxy to scratch an itch.”

“Then why did you come back, knowing that’s what you left behind?”

“I told you, I want to find Rain.”

“To what end? How do you know she’ll even talk to you?”

“Won’t know, unless I try. I’ve seen a lot of bad shit, done even worse. The only time I can remember being happy, truly happy, was when I was with Rain. I want that back.”

“You can’t go back,” Owen snapped. “It’s been a long time since you saw her. Things change. People change. Hell, you changed her when you did what you did, and left,” he shouted the words.

Brody smiled. “You know where she is.” Owen’s eyes didn’t meet his. “You’ve seen her. Has she come back to town a few times to see Eli? Where does she live now? San Francisco? Did she stay there after college?”

“You still haven’t answered the question. Why do you want to find her?”

“You don’t make it easy on a guy.” He tossed up his hands and let them fall with a slap against his legs. “She’s the one that got away. The one I pushed away. But it’s always been her. Wherever I am, whatever I’m doing, Rain is there with me. She got me through Iraq and Afghanistan. She got me through grueling, agonizing rehab.”

“And now you want to just find her and say, let’s let bygones be bygones.”

“I don’t think it will be that easy.” Half a smile quirked up his face. In for one hell of a fight with Rain, he actually looked forward to it. Rain in a temper was only matched by her passion in bed. Which only proved what a colossal fool he’d been to let her go without a fight.

Hell, he’d made it easy by leaving her before she left him.

That gem of an epiphany hit him while he lay burned and bleeding on a stretcher right after the roadside bomb nearly took his life. Rain had been ready to leave town, take her scholarship and make a real life for herself. He didn’t have a single thing to offer her besides more of the same life she was desperate to escape. She had plans, an opportunity to make something of herself, and he didn’t fit into those plans. At least, that’s what he thought at the time. When the opportunity came to screw everything up royally, knowing it would cost him Rain and any chance to have a life with her, he took hold with both hands. The same thing he’d always done. If you were going to screw him, he’d screw you first. If his old man wanted to get on his case, Brody made damn sure he had a reason. If he was going to lose Rain anyway, he’d sure as hell make sure she knew he didn’t need her.

What an enormous lie. He did need Rain.

“I think it’ll take a lot of groveling.”

“What if she doesn’t want to see you?”

“I’ll change her mind.”

“If you can’t?”

“Can’t isn’t an option,” Brody bit out.

“You’ve got it bad for her. Is that what you want me to believe?”

“Believe what you like. With or without your help, I will find her. And when I do, I will convince her to make a life with me.”

“What if she’s already married?”

“If she was, you’d have told me that ten minutes ago when I asked about her. You’d have thrown it in my face the minute you realized I came back for her. Because even I know I deserve it.”

Brody walked to the open door and stared out at his sorry yard. With his hands braced on each side of the doorframe, he pleaded, “Please, tell me where she is.”

Owen shoved Brody out the door and followed him out. “I’ll be in court most of the day. Whatever you do, don’t come into town. I don’t have time to defend Eli against murder charges. Give me today to talk to him before everyone finds out you’re back.”

“Just tell me where she is, Counselor.”

Owen stopped and held on to the door of his truck before getting in. “Make me a promise.”

“What?”

“Stay out of town today. In the morning, I’ll tell you where she is.”

“You’re going to call and warn her I’m looking for her.” Brody had a pretty good idea she wasn’t as far away as he’d originally thought. That would only make things easier. Not that he wouldn’t go to the ends of the earth to find her.

“Absolutely.” Owen gave him a cocky grin.

“Still playing dirty,” Brody said, feeling nostalgic.

“Giving her a fair chance to decide on her own what she wants without you showing up unexpectedly and catching her off guard. A lot has happened since you left. She’s not the girl you remember. She has a whole new life.”

“Is she happy?”

The play of emotions on his brother’s face left him confused. Owen stared out across the yard to the lake beyond. It took him a minute to answer. “There are times she is. Yeah, I guess for the most part she’s made the most out of . . . Well, she’s fine.”

“What the hell kind of answer is that? I thought you’d been in contact with her.”

“I have. She’s living her life the best she can. What more do you want?”

“For you to stop fucking around and tell me where she is.”