The Replacement (24 page)

This is the danger zone. The Ryder zone.

“Hey.” His arm snakes out and reaches for me, his fingers closing around my wrist before I can open the bathroom stall door. A pause fills the air, pulsing between us like erratic energy seeking an out. “Is there something you want to talk about, Elise?” His voice is even, though I detect a hint of uncertainty there. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

I swallow, freezing at his touch. “I’m fine.” Leaning up on my tiptoes, I kiss his cheek softly. “Thank you.” He remains still, his eyes following me the whole way out of the bathroom. I don’t have to turn around to see them, because I feel them.

The second I’m out of the bathroom, I head past the rows of seating and bypass the magazine stands for the side exits. Stepping outside, I let the cold blast of Pacific Northwest wind hit me like a glacier and wander around the outer deck to the railing, where I let my weight fall. My cold hands grip the metal and I shut my eyes on a deep inhale.

Just as I begin to let the cold fill my lungs, my phone vibrates in my back pocket and I pull it out, wrapping Ryder’s leather jacket tighter around the flimsy material of my waitress uniform. The screen lights up with a new text. My heart smacks the bottom of my stomach like a paperweight. It’s from Christian.

Hey, baby. I miss you. Be my date to the masked Christmas ball next weekend. It’s at 2424 Rosen Drive. You know the place. Where we spent that incredible night…our favorite suite.
Please come. There’s so much I need to say to you. I don’t need you to move in. I just want to see you again. Call me when you have a minute.

He’s still calling me baby. He’s still trying to reach me. Will he ever give up?

I quickly exit the text and slide the phone away, bunching my fingers tightly inside my jacket pockets.

“Can I get you some more hot chocolate?” Ryder’s voice breezes behind me and I turn to find him looking at me intently. He approaches slowly, eyes surveying the view. Seattle is glimmering on the horizon as darkness falls, blanketing the sky. December days are cold and dark, the sunsets beginning early. “You’re going to freeze to death out here.”

“Sure, I’ll have some,” I say quietly. “I’m coming inside.”

His arms encase me from behind and he shivers, his lips like ice as they kiss beneath my ear. “So you and Natalie are hanging out tonight, huh? How’s she doing? Since the break-up with Nate, I mean.”

Tension blisters at my shoulders. “Okay, I think. I wouldn’t know, I don’t really talk to her much, actually. But I think she’s managing. They weren’t dating very long, but she was definitely into him.”

“No? I thought you guys were good friends or something.”

I clear my throat and try to work the pressure from my neck. “We’re friendly.”

“Bummer things didn’t work out for her and Nate. They seemed good together.”

“I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.” I shift and Ryder’s arms loosen around me. “How about that hot chocolate?”

“Sounds good to me.”

My eyes flick to his with a halfhearted smile and I take his hand to lead him back inside. My cell phone burns a hole in my back pocket and my nerves rattle wildly from head to toe. Soon I’ll be hanging out with Natalie, and it will be time for more lies. Having relationships is a risky, exhausting business. Especially when you are Elise Duchamp.

CHAPTER 13

The next few days are surreal. At least, in my world they are. Natalie and I have been hanging out after work. I’ve been learning a lot about her, more than I ever anticipated, given the circumstances. She wants to be a nurse, and it turns out she went to the same elementary school as me, only she was two years behind me. Her parents sent her to private school for high school, and she loathed every second of it. I joke that I would’ve had her back in public school had she gone where Tee and I were, and her opinionated rant about some new romance series she’s reading has me cracking up.

The girl is passionate about her books, I’ll give her that.

It occurs to me that I now have two new book nerds in my life, and that she and Ryder might actually have a lot to chat about. I love to read too, but Natalie…well, she takes the term
fangirl
to a whole new level.

Tide’s Tavern has become our meeting place of choice. I’m just happy to be eating anywhere other than Stella’s. We chat over beer and clam chowder, bitch about crappy tips, and swap high school horror stories. Occasionally Nate comes up and her spirits fall, but she sweeps that subject away just as quickly as she mentions it, and I silently give thanks.

Both Natalie and I are off today and I’ve spent the whole morning cleaning my apartment. She’ll be here soon to pick me up to drive us to Seattle. We have plans to go to Pike Place Market, and possibly a movie. I can’t even think about those plans, though, because my head is swimming with the fact that for the first time, Natalie will see my place. Other than Ryder, I can’t remember the last time I’ve had company. The only other action my front door has seen is from desperate men tracking me down after one-night stands, and even that has been rare. My place is usually off-limits.

I trip over the vacuum cord and curse as I stumble and stub my toe on the end of the coffee table. A knock stirs me from the pain and my eyes dart everywhere, sizing up the stack of newspapers on the end table and the sofa cushions, which I hope are fluffed enough. I hobble to the front door, glancing at my watch. Natalie must be early.

“Someone reported a dishwasher problem?” Ryder looks at me, all straight faced and rugged in his scuffed-up boots and maintenance uniform. His fingers are smudged with black and his utility belt hangs low on his hips, drawing my attention to my second favorite part of his body. His shoulders are my first.

As if he knows exactly what I’m thinking, he stretches those shoulders and takes an easy step forward, raising one arm to lean lazily against the doorway. A faint smirk creeps up and he bites his bottom lip to suppress it, his glimmering eyes betraying his mock seriousness. “Mr. Fix-It, at your service, Miss Duchamp.”

I grin, wanting to slap some sense into him. He knows I have plans with Natalie today and he’s supposed to be working, not pestering me, but he’s so goddamn adorable, I can’t resist him. My hands land on his shoulders and I don’t say a word, just pull him inside and shove him against the back of the door. It falls shut with a loud slam and the apartment is filled with clattering and clinking as I tug at his utility belt. I rip it from his waist and let it drop to the floor with a thud.

“How long do we have?” he breathes hard against my mouth, his fingers fumbling frantically with my jeans button.

“Fifteen minutes.”

“Bedroom?”

“Kitchen counter.” I stumble backwards and he follows, our mouths never leaving one another. In seconds, he’s bending me over the counter, and his cock is nudging at my entrance. The hot, slick ridge slides against my wetness and I shudder, pushing against him, wanting him to fill me to the hilt.

“This is my favorite part,” he pants against my earlobe. “Right here.” He teases me gently, slipping in just enough to let me feel every hard inch of him, then withdraws to the tip.

“Ryder,” I whisper impatiently. His frame caves against my back and we both exhale on a ragged breath. I reach back to guide him inside of me, but his firm arms slide down my shoulders and collect my wrists, planting my hands on the counter.

“How’s my girl doing?” he says, covering my fists with his palms. “I missed you.”

“I want you.”

“I know.”

“Stay over tonight,” I pant, betraying my own apartment rule. I arch my back and he responds, gliding his cock between my legs.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I want to give you your Christmas present.”

“It’s early.”

“Don’t care.” One of his hands leaves mine and drifts over my navel, slipping up beneath my sweater. He cups my breasts hard, biting down on my neck. “I’ll give it to you tonight.”

“Give it to me now.”

“I have something else for you now.” He suddenly slams inside of me and my body jolts forward, my fingers scrambling for traction on the counter. A soft whimper slips from my lips and Ryder’s flat palm comes down on the back of my shoulder blade, easing me down until my upper body is smashing onto the cold granite. He pulls my ass tightly against him and begins thrusting in and out in measured, slow strokes. “We need to talk tonight, baby.”

I moan in response, unable to concentrate on anything but the fullness.

He snickers behind me, rocking his hips. “Is that so?”

“I want to see you,” I say suddenly, needing to look straight into his eyes. I need to see the lust there, his desire, need to see whatever it is that he says he feels for me. Need to see if it’s real.

His body’s pressure eases up at my back and I rise from the countertop. He quickly spins me around and lifts me up, setting my ass on the edge, connecting us at the waist. He slides back inside of me with a grunt, bringing his forehead to mine. His eyes are eager, on fire, swelling with ferocious heat. My eyes drift shut from the pleasure of the reconnection but snap back open as quickly as they close, just so I can see him.

“There she is,” he murmurs against my lips. He begins to move, cupping the back of my head as he resumes his command of my body.

“Why me?” I whisper, tilting my hips to match the delicious rhythm he’s setting.

He slows for a second and his dark brows lower in confusion. “Why you?”

“What are we doing?”

His jaw goes slack. “You tell me.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and roll my hips, capturing the blunt force of another thrust, and we both groan at the friction. Now’s not the time to ask him these questions. Now’s not the time for any of this. He wants to talk tonight, not now. Not while he’s impaling me on the kitchen counter. But I’m suddenly filled with a new kind of desire—a desire to know the truth. Am I really his girl? Does he really mean what he says about not caring about my past? Can I be his…can I be anyone’s?

“Elise.” His thumb rolls over my cheek.

“Ryder, I—”A timid knock cuts me off, my mouth agape with the intrusion.

“Shit, is that Natalie?” Ryder shifts and carefully pulls out of me, buckling up his pants. I scramble off the counter, hopping to my feet. I quickly button my jeans and straighten my sweater out, wrestling with my bra cups. Ryder works to adjust his hard-on, but there’s no concealing it. “Just give me a second.” He blows a harsh breath through his teeth and leans on the counter to get a grip.

I feel his pain.

I’m still aching with need, can still feel him inside of me. I groan in frustration and fluff my hair, turning to the sink to splash a touch of cold water on my face. I dab beneath my eyelids with a napkin to capture any mascara smudges and take a deep breath.

“We’ll finish this tonight,” I say evenly, making a move for the door. Ryder nods firmly, his head hanging between his arms as he continues to grip the counter.

When I answer the door, Natalie’s standing there, her hands nervously fidgeting at her sides. Her face is scrunched with unease and it scratches over me like sandpaper. “Hey, come on in,” I say hesitantly.

She smiles halfheartedly, her eyes flicking to mine and then over my shoulder. “Oh, hey Ryder,” she replies, her expression perking up. “I’m a few minutes early, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

Ryder’s cheeks reveal a light brush of crimson and he straightens up and clears his throat. His dimpled smile appears. “Hey Natalie, good to see you. No, not at all. I was just fixing Elise’s dishwasher. I’m on the clock, so uh, I better get going.”

I move aside and Natalie takes a step forward, her gaze landing near her feet, on Ryder’s utility belt. She raises a brow and Ryder laughs uncomfortably as he hurries across the living room to retrieve it from the floor.

“I’ll catch you ladies later,” Ryder says, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Have fun.”

“See ya.” I lean in to the kiss and bite back a grin as he hurries out the door. He’s clumsily wrapping his belt around him and cursing under his breath as he tries to secure it, and I can’t take my eyes off his backside as he strolls down the hall. What is a guy like that doing with a girl like me?

“He’s good to you.” Natalie’s voice pries my eyes away from Ryder and I finally shut the front door. She’s standing there politely, looking around at the apartment, but that strange expression has crept back onto her face, and tension bubbles around me.

“He’s a good guy.”

“Do you love him?”

I blanch at her question, quickly smothering it with a carefree laugh.

“I’m serious,” she insists as she begins to stroll around the living room. “You’ve been awfully tight-lipped about him. What’s the deal?”

I wet my lips and tuck my hair behind my ears. “There’s nothing to tell, really. He’s just…a good guy. I’m really into him.”

“
Hhhmm
.” Natalie continues to meander around, inspecting my place like it’s a museum. She stops in front of my bedroom door. It’s wide open, and I inwardly curse, wishing I would’ve shut it before she showed up. It’s neat and tidy now that I’ve spent time cleaning up, but I’m still getting used to letting Ryder anywhere near my bedroom, let alone Natalie. It feels entirely too intimate and the silence that has filled the space is killing me.