The Replacement (17 page)

In less than a minute, his and my mother’s screams commence.

I drown them out, rocking on the stool, my gaze frozen on the reflection staring back at me. My hair is slaughtered—choppy and uneven, misplaced and abused.

Snip, snip, snip.

The sounds still puncture my thoughts, but I’m coming around, feeling balmy, compassionate hands rubbing up and down the sides of my arms. “Elise?” Ryder’s voice slips through the cracks. “Wake up, Elise.”

I begin to stir, shifting in Ryder’s arms. My eyes flutter open and I stare up at him. I freeze and blink, then bolt upright in the sleeping bag, grasping my hair. I tug on the long blonde waves, rolling the ends between my fingertips. My cheeks are damp and my chest is heaving.

“Hey,” Ryder says soothingly, “are you okay? You were crying in your sleep.”

I drop my hair and bring my knees forward, pulling them tightly to my chest. “Yeah,” I sigh, “just a bad dream.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“No,” I answer quickly. “What time is it?”

“Just past seven.” His concerned expression softens when he sees me begin to calm down.

“Wow.” My voice is groggy as I process the time. We’d slept the whole night straight through. I hadn’t woken once.

“I was beat. You wore me out last night.” He chuckles deeply, and the smooth, sexy sound ignites a tingle deep in the pit of my stomach. Thankful for the distraction, I push out a tired breath and crawl on top of him, straddling him and brushing myself over his cock. He’s hard and ready. “Damn,” he groans, letting his head fall back onto the sleeping bag pillow.

“I’m not done with you yet.” I smirk and lower myself down his body, bending to tease him with a lick straight up his shaft. Feeling him twitch against my lips wakes me right up. “
Mmmm
, can I have more?” My eyes roll up and lock on his, and he’s enraptured, staring at me, dropping his gaze from my eyes to my lips, then down to his cock, willing me to make the connection.

Damn, he’s beautiful.

He answers by lifting his hips, bringing the tip to my bottom lip, slowly thrusting himself into my mouth. He watches the action and gives his cock a slight roll, rotating himself around with indulgent exploration. His smile is lopsided and he has absolutely no shame in using my mouth for his pleasure.

I twirl my tongue around the tip and then dip to take him all the way, sucking hard as I pull back, drawing a deep groan from his chest. His eyes drift shut and his jaw clenches. “Oh, fuck yes. Damn, baby.” I repeat the motion and a surge of wet warmth swells my inner thighs.

He is singlehandedly the most sexy, gentle man I have ever laid hands on, and he is completely oblivious to who and what I am.

That thought should be a buzz kill, but instead, it only heightens the urgency of the moment. Who knows how long I’ll get to be with a man like Ryder. This could be the last time I ever feel this way in someone’s presence. I feel utterly spoiled and wrapped in luxury, and any second, it’s going to be ripped from my grasp.

I suck and take him deeper.

He exhales harshly through clenched teeth, and his fingers are pressing into my scalp now, urging me on. At the feel of his climbing desperation, I flatten my tongue for a few strokes, and then roll and suck, roll and suck, creating a pattern designed to drive him to the brink.

It’s working.

“Elise,” he chokes, “shit, if you keep that up...”

I increase my speed, humming against him. The vibrations resonate from my throat to his hot, sensitive skin. His waist jerks at the sensation and he bucks his hips, trying to pull free from my mouth, but I give him a taste of his own medicine and latch onto him, pinning him to the sleeping bag while closing my lips harder around his cock.

No way in hell is he going anywhere.

My hands glide up his strong torso and dig into his skin, my pace unyielding. His frame stiffens beneath my fingertips and a garbled moan spills its way from his throat, riding a wave all the way down his body. His hips continue to jerk and he convulses, coming hard in my mouth. I make most guys wear a condom—even repeats, like Christian and Tim. Especially Brad. The thought doesn’t even cross my mind until Ryder is coating my throat.

My inner thighs are drenched now, and I’ve never wanted anything more than I want him inside me right that moment. I swallow and moan in pure gratification, reveling in the feel of him hitting the back of my throat as he pumps hard.

“Damn it, Elise!” he sighs, lifting his head to peer down at me.

“Is there a problem?” I ask coyly as I pull my mouth away and rise to sit up on my knees. I stare down at him triumphantly and totally brazen, still completely naked from the night before as I drag my wrist across my mouth. My tongue darts out and sweeps across my bottom lip, licking the last remnants of him away. I savor those last few drops.

“Every time I go to kiss you now, all I’m ever going to be able to think about is what you just did to me with that lush mouth of yours.” His breathing is still heavy, his brown eyes glazing over with satisfaction and something else, something I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. It jars me for a moment, but I quickly brush it away when I’m reminded of the ache between my legs.

“Are you saying there will be future kisses?”

“Do you want there to be future kisses?”

My playful smile droops a bit. I clear my throat and roll off of him, sprawling out onto my back. I run my hands down my neck and breasts, lingering at my nipples for a beat before letting one hand wander down to the junction of my thighs. I rub my fingers over the moisture and I look over to find him doing exactly what I want him to. What he likes to do.

Watch.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” he asks quietly, with that husky lilt. He turns onto his side, leaning up on his elbow. His hand snakes out to touch me where I’m touching myself, but I bat him away and grin deviously.

“Showing you what you do to me.” And giving him what he wants. I’m compelled to now that I know what he likes.

“Elise,” he warns teasingly, “I’m a weak, weak man.” He makes another reach for me, but I bump his hand away again, quickly covering and cupping myself.

“Just watch,” I whisper, closing my eyes and purposely arching my back. He swallows hard, the sound filling the quiet tent. Even though my eyes are closed, I can feel his gaze crawling all over me. I press down and then give myself a stroke, rubbing up, back, and forth. My legs fall open and my other hand lands on my breast, exploring and groping. “Do you see?” I ask, letting my eyes drift open into narrow slits.

“Oh, yeah,” he breathes, “I see.” His lids are hooded, eyes smoky, flaming with desire. His whole body is tense as he restrains himself from pouncing on me.

My fingers increase their friction, gliding with more precise, intense strokes. Quiet whimpers fight their way from my throat and the buzzing between my thighs is becoming unbearable. I won’t last long. Going down on him was my foreplay, and I’m ready to rupture. I call on the memories from just seconds ago: taking him in my mouth, watching him grin wickedly at me as I tasted and sucked, feeling him swell at the back of my throat.

I’m so turned on, so close to tipping the edge that I don’t register the light brush of more fingers grazing my inner thigh until my hips lift in anticipation. The sneaky bastard.

I smile.

“You’re so damn beautiful,” Ryder murmurs at my ear. He’s moved closer, still sitting up on his elbow as he looks down, enjoying the show. He’s rapt with attention, grazing his fingers along the insides of my thighs, his knuckle bumping mine as I work myself. His words smack into me and then bounce off, ricocheting to some unknown, lost place.

There’s a lag in my building orgasm and I flinch, wiggling away from his touch.

Ryder’s mouth meets my shoulder, kissing me like I’m golden. The touch is so sacred, so benevolent, I can’t concentrate. “Shit,” I breathe, squeezing my eyes shut as tightly as I can. His fingers touch my forehead and delicately brush my hair back, and once again, I’m afflicted.

I wiggle again, opening my eyes and scrunching up my forehead to escape his fingertips. I stop touching myself and release an exasperated sigh, dropping my arms to my sides. I wait a second before looking at him.

His brow is furrowed in confusion and his expression is a baffled one.

“I don’t think I can do this right now,” I say, moving to sit up. I immediately start scrambling for my clothes. I need air, and I need it now.

“Wait, what?” Ryder sits up, too, bringing his body up on the sleeping bag in a half crouch. His dazed eyes are darting everywhere, looking back and forth, between me, my clothes, and something in the distance, as if it can offer him an explanation.

“Sorry, I just…I can’t right now. I gotta go. I have to work this afternoon.” I throw my clothes on and grab my bag, checking to make sure I have everything I need.

“Elise, did I…did I do something? What’s the rush? Hey.” He reaches for me, but I yank my arm away coldly, not missing the hurt that flashes across his face. He backs up and drops his head, his jaw flexing.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You are… you were amazing. Thank you.”

“You’re thanking me?”

“Yeah, I had a great time. I’ll see you later, okay?” I start for the zipper on the tent door but Ryder speaks again, causing me to fumble with the flap.

“Let me drive you home. You can’t walk all that way. It’s cold out there.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know the way.”

“There are signs. I’ll figure it out.”

He’s quiet for a beat. I have him there. I vaguely remember seeing signs along the main path that direct you around the campground.

“Hey, I don’t know what’s wrong, but please don’t take off like this. Talk to me.”

“I can’t, Ryder, I’m sorry.” I step out of the tent and inhale a deep breath of cool air. “I need to get home and get ready for work. I’ll see you later.” I haul ass away from his campsite and toward the main path. I don’t look back until I’m halfway to the cluster of trees leading into the woods. One quick glance over my shoulder makes my insides churn.

Ryder’s standing there in the tent doorway, holding a blanket loosely around his waist. His gaze follows me, eyes hard, jaw clenched, and I look away.

It’s time to go back to the real world. No more rolling around in sleeping bags in the woods with men like Ryder. No more cookouts or hanging with kind hippies near the fire. No more basking in fantasy because fantasy is what fairytales are made of, and my world is no fairytale.

***

The rain’s light mist kisses me as I hurry up to my apartment door. I’m tired and desperate for a cup of hot chocolate and a warm shower. I managed to find my way off the campsite and then called for a taxi when I made it to the main road. Thankfully my phone had some juice left, and the sweater I wore for my date with Ryder yesterday was just enough to keep me from freezing.

I step into my apartment to find it just as I’d left it the day before. The Gig Harbor Weekly is open on the kitchen counter and my bathrobe is strewn across the edge of the bed. The pile of bills I’ve been avoiding is on the coffee table, and the little scrap of paper with notes about the materials I’ll need for my French lessons is pinned to the refrigerator. A sigh of relief escapes me. Home.

I toss my keys on the counter and start for the kitchen, but there’s a knock on the door. I freeze.

“Elise?” a voice comes from outside, uncertain and urgent. It’s not Ryder’s, so I relax a little, but wince when another knock sounds. This voice isn’t any better. In fact, it’s the very last one I want to hear right now.

I unlock the bolt and answer. “Nate, now isn’t a good time.”

“I’m sorry, but I need to talk to you. Can we talk?”

“No, no we can’t.”

I go to shut the door, but he thrusts out his palm and stops it with a smack. “
Please
.”

“Two minutes,” I say, delivering my best glare.

“That’s all I need.” His expression turns cautious as I step aside and let him in.

“So, what’s so important?” My tone is flat, completely devoid of emotion. I lead him further into the apartment.

“I think I’m going to break up with Natalie.”

My eyes bulge and I swing around to face him. “
What
?”

“I know how it sounds, okay? But being with you…”

“No. Nate, don’t even go there.” I fucked Nate hoping Natalie would find out and realize she shouldn’t treat me like a charity case. I wasn’t her friend, and I wasn’t trustworthy. She wanted to save me from the town’s gossip, wanted to tell everyone who ever spoke ill about my reputation to go screw themselves. But she must’ve missed the memo that I wasn’t looking to be saved.

“I’m serious, Elise.” He starts pacing, shaking his head. “Being with you changed something for me.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?” I fold my arms across my chest and look at him blandly.

“I’m different, I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Well, let me enlighten you, then. You’re different because now you’re a lying, cheating scumbag. That’s what’s changed.”