The Remaining (5 page)

Lauren feels lighter, brighter, and somehow better.

Maybe the worry was simply the enemy wanting to bring her down. To cast a shadow on a special day for one of her closest friends. She doesn’t know. She simply knows her two good friends look happy and radiant, and they’re together. They’re linked together and hopefully, with God’s help and maybe the help of some others as well, they’ll stay locked together forever.

She thinks about a Bible passage that she read recently about worry:
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

There’s something comforting about knowing the Bible
isn’t saying that today will be free from hurts and suffering and discomfort. It simply says to dwell on the day you have. To deal with it and let tomorrow be.

She’s tried to do that even though it’s hard. When you’re someone who likes to have control, this world can often resemble staring into a broken mirror. You see the sharp, ragged edges but lose sight of yourself.

“Somebody isn’t dancing,” Skylar calls out from behind her.

Lauren turns and sees the bride approaching. “Oh my goodness,” Lauren says.

“What? My eyeliner running or something?”

“No. I actually see
 
—let me count them
 
—two, three, no . . . four beads of sweat on your forehead. I can’t believe it.”

“Stop.”

“You’re a real person who actually
sweats
.”

“And you’re crazy,” Skylar tells her. “We gotta get you back out there to bust a move. We all know who the real dancer is.”

“I’m just saving my moves for later. It’s gonna be a long night.”

Skylar nods, then finds an untouched glass of water on a nearby table to sip. “It’s a bit surreal, isn’t it?”

“What is?”

“This moment. Having all these people here. It’s like some last hurrah.”

Lauren looks out at the crowd. “Or maybe it’s the first
hurrah. You know? The start of something bigger and better.”

Skylar gives her a big hug. “I’m so glad to know you, girlfriend,” Sky tells her.

“Feeling is mutual. You know that.”

“I do.”

Skylar takes her hand.

“What? Where are we going?”

“You are gonna stop watching and start moving.”

A favorite song begins to play and Lauren finally stops resisting.

Soon the music and the motion and the moving lights all make Lauren laugh and feel like there’s no reason to worry about tomorrow.

Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Today is what matters.

Being here in the moment.

Thank You, God. Thanks for moments like this.

A dark world only makes the brighter moments shine that much more.

The feeling is back, and it couldn’t have come at a worse time.

In the midst of the loud music and laughter and flowing gowns and sparkling smiles, Allison sits at a table tapping the edge of her champagne glass. She watches Dan and Skylar cut the cake and then perform for the audience. Dan acts like he’s going to shove some in Skylar’s face, but Allison knows there’s a better chance of the sky falling than cake getting on the bride tonight. The couple flirt and playfully nibble at the desert while cameras and cell phones take pictures.

Allison feels restless.

The confusion and anger bubble up inside her, and she knows there’s no way to fight it. She can’t forget, not here and now. This whole day is about marriage and happily-ever-afters. It’s the thing she’s waited for and wanted for a long time. The nagging voice in the back of her heart sounds louder now, and it’s demanding some kind of action. It doesn’t want to hide in the shadows anymore.

How long am I going to be sitting here on the sidelines?

It’s not like she isn’t happy for Dan and Skylar. She’s overjoyed for them. But she’s also jealous and impatient. She knows she’d look just as good wearing a bride’s dress and dancing with her groom and cutting the cake and being the center of attention. But that’s just the superficial part of it all.

I want someone by my side to grow old with.

The problem is, the voice of doubt that’s been nagging her is asking her whether the man who will be at her side is Jack.
Of course it is,
she has answered herself time and time again.
He’s everything I want and need, and I love him,
she’s tried to tell herself. But somehow the voice seems to know her too well. The voice keeps asking her to stop wasting time and stop wanting something that might not happen.

She and Jack have had conversations about it, certainly. She’s joked with him until the joke has become more painful than anything else. She’s tried to ask the question that everybody else is asking, but it seems too real and far too raw.

I shouldn’t have to ask that question. I should be the one being asked.

The question of when. When is it going to happen? When will it be time? When will that day come when Jack finally asks her whether she wants to be with him for the rest of their lives? When will the dream come true for them?

“This is pretty awesome,” a familiar voice says as he takes a seat beside her and sets a plate in front of her. “Cake for the girl at table 1?”

Allison smiles at Tommy. “Is it diet?”

“You have to be done starving yourself. The wedding’s over.”

She glances at the large sliver of cake with all its delicious, white, fatty frosting. A part of Allison wants to grab a chunk of the wedding cake with both hands and just start chowing down. Then with a mouthful of cake she could give Jack the bad news.

You could have had me when I was thin but that time is done and I’m just not gonna care anymore.

Allison slides the plate over and takes a bite. “Wow. This is good.”

The music begins again, this time slowing down as couples unite on the dance floor. Allison sees Skylar’s parents dancing together and sharing a moment. Mr. Chapman looks down at his wife with a glance Allison can only dream of getting one day. She doesn’t know how long the two of them have been married, but that’s what she wants. Being there with her best friend years down the road
and still being able to receive that look. A look of pride and happiness and, most of all, a look full of belonging. “They’re so cute.”

“Come on,” Tommy says as he leans his head over to get her attention. “I’ve seen you in action at weddings before, and currently you’re not dancing on a table or breaking glasses, so . . . hey, Allie. It’s me. What’s up?”

She sighs. “It’s my best friend’s wedding and I’m upset because my boyfriend just gave a speech about how important it is to ‘act on it’ when you cross paths with the right person.”

For a moment, Tommy doesn’t say anything.

’Cause he knows I’m right.

“I thought it was a pretty good speech,” he says.

“I crossed paths with Jack nearly seven years ago.
Seven.
”

“I get it.” Tommy’s trademark mischievous grin spreads across his face. “Always a bridesmaid, never
 
—”

“A bride. Yeah, yeah. I’m lame, huh?”

“No. You’re a catch, Allie, and the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

For a moment, she only shakes her head and looks at him to see whether he’s joking. But the sarcastic tone is gone. The wry smile is gone too. He’s being sincere.

“What? Why the skeptical look?” he asks. “At least top one hundred for sure.”

“Funny.”

“I’m still thinking probably number one.”

Allison wants to say something but she’s not sure what.
He’s encouraging her like always, and she knows she sometimes takes it for granted. But still, it feels good and sometimes it’s necessary in moments like this. Just to have someone who gets it. Who gets her.

A funky dance track begins to play, and Tommy surprises her by taking her hand. “Come on
 
—this is a celebration.” He pulls her to her feet.

Soon all six of them are dancing side by side, singing the song they all know so well. Allison forgets about her doubts and that nagging voice. Right now her friends are surrounding her and the noise is drowning out anything else. Jack is smiling by her side, and she takes his hand. Soon Skylar has her other hand.

She glances around for Tommy but can’t see him. He was just here; he must be somewhere nearby. Probably filming the rest of them or something like that.

Then the music takes over and she follows Tommy’s advice and keeps celebrating.

Over twenty-five women stand on the dance floor facing Skylar. It’s the bouquet toss, and Lauren almost had to drag her out here to get her to participate. It’s so obvious, so clichéd. Everybody wants the maid of honor to catch it, right? She’s the chosen one. It’s her turn. She’s the one who’s going to get married next.
Allison and Jack. Jack and Allison. When’s the date? How’s he going to propose?

“I’m not catching that,” Allison says to Lauren.

“Oh, stop.”

A couple of girls stand in front of Allison, and that’s fine. She wanders off to the side of the group.

“One,” Skylar shouts out.

Some of these ladies actually seem to want to catch it.

“Two.”

Allison looks over at Lauren, who is laughing. She only shakes her head.

“Three!”

Skylar doesn’t toss it over her head but rather turns and flips the bouquet her direction.

No way.

A couple of women go for it but it lands in the center of Allison’s chest like a baseball in a catcher’s mitt. The crowd roars as her hands desperately want to let go. Yet she can’t. She smiles and then lifts up the bouquet. Skylar is beaming and laughing.

She’s gonna pay for that.

The bride rushes over and gives her a big hug.

“I’m going to kill you,” Allison says.

“Where’s Jack?” Skylar asks, looking all around. “Get him out here.”

Allison knows Jack is sitting at a table at the edge of the dance floor, watching and drinking a beer and remaining far enough away. He looks uncomfortable when Skylar calls attention to him. Skylar doesn’t see him yet but she’s calling out for him to come onto the dance floor. Allison is still smiling and expects Jack to come to her side.

But something else happens instead.

Something nobody else sees.

Jack rolls his eyes and stands up, then slips away into the back of the room.

For a second, Allison feels as if she’s been punched in the gut. She didn’t
want
to catch the bouquet, but Skylar had other plans. But seeing this . . . especially after the words he just spoke . . .

The hyper, too-cool-for-school DJ comes over with his mike and large voice and corny smile. “And who does this lovely lady belong to? Looks like somebody else is getting hitched soon!”

Allison almost takes the bouquet and swats the Justin Timberlake wannabe over the head with it. Skylar has an arm around her and is still looking for Jack.

“I know he’s here,” the DJ says. “I just saw him a few minutes ago.”

All Allison wants to do is leave the bouquet and this bridesmaid dress and the banquet hall behind. The image of the bridge fills her mind again.

I should’ve known. Should’ve expected this. Should’ve assumed things would be this way.

Moments later, Allison glances up at the sky on the empty rooftop deck. The chairs and the floral altar are still there. She leans against the edge of the wall and closes her eyes, picturing a sweet moment from the ceremony.

She sees a father lifting one of the two-year-old ring bearers up to the tree. The young girl holds an envelope in her hand, one that surely contains money. She places it on the tree, where other envelopes hang. A gift for the future. A gift of life. A simple gift.

This makes Allison think of her own father. Her parents divorced when she was sixteen. The term
sweet sixteen
will always leave a sour taste in her mouth.

“There you are.”

She opens her eyes and sees Jack.

“I’ve been looking for you. Where’d you go?”

“I’ve been pretty easy to find today,” she says.

Jack looks puzzled. “What’s wrong?”

She breathes in, wondering if she’s going to do this right now. She knows it’s not the right place or time.

But there’s never going to be a right place and a right time and a right moment and a right man to ask the right question for the right purpose. Right?

“I gotta go,” she says, looking away from him.

Jack seems not to understand if she’s talking about leaving the outside rooftop or leaving the wedding reception altogether. Frankly, Allison isn’t sure either.

“Why?” he asks. “What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“What? Tell me.”

He moves closer to her, innocent eyes looking down at her. The kind that would melt any girl’s heart. The problem is they’ve melted hers far too many times. And each time it
hardens again, it takes a slightly different shape. Now her heart is misshapen and simply worn out.

“I love you, and I show it. But I’m baffled, Jack. Either you don’t love me or you have a really lousy way of letting me know it.”

His shirt is partly unbuttoned, his tie unknotted and hanging there like a noose around his neck. He looks wounded.

“What happened?”

“I saw you roll your eyes.”

Now he gets it.

“Look, I’m sorry
 
—”

He moves to embrace her but she pushes him away. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Jack lets out a sigh. “Come on, Allie. I love you. You know that. We’ve been together for five years
 
—”

“Seven.”

He tries again to move closer and touch her. That always works and that’s always her downfall. They’ll argue and they’ll begin to talk about serious things and then he’ll embrace her and settle in for silence. For unspoken words. But not this time. Not anymore. She begins to walk away.

She reaches the doors to head inside when he grabs her hand.

“Don’t leave,” he says.

But she does. She waits for the elevator and when the doors open, Tommy walks out, carrying a grin and his
camera. He begins filming without even noticing that they’re arguing.

“Really, Tommy?” Jack asks.

“What? What’s going on?”

Allison slips into the elevator and the doors begin to shut. Jack calls her name but it’s not enough. It’s too late.

She knows the end has finally arrived. Soon enough everybody else will know it too.