The Reluctant Dom (33 page)

“Where's my fucking coffee?” he grumbled. Now he really had a morning woody and her teasing him hadn't helped the situation any.

“It's brewing,” she said from the doorway.

He rolled over and closed his eyes. A moment later, Leah startled him by slamming the back of his head with a pillow.

“Get. Up!”

“I was, you fucking tease, but you got out of bed.”

She giggled and kissed the back of his neck. “After presents, you two can unwrap me.”

“You're already nekkid.”

“You know what I mean. Get up. Now.”

When she was like this, even Kaden wouldn't argue with her. Seth blearily rolled out of bed. He used the bathroom, then pulled on a pair of shorts and stumbled out into the kitchen.

Kaden, looking equally bleary, stared at him from his place at the counter. “Morning.”

They'd had a fairly late night of play. Seth had opted to sleep in his room afterward. Kaden looked as sleepy as he felt.

“Mornin'. What the hell's up with her?”

Leah pranced into the kitchen and poured the men their coffee. Now she was wearing a leopard print Santa hat and a long red T-shirt that said “Naughty and Proud of It” in addition to the elf collar.

“Come on! Why are you in here? Go to the living room!”

The sounds of carols drifted to them. Apparently she'd tuned the TV to the holiday music channel.

Seth sipped his coffee. “Can we get conscious first? What the fuck did you put in your coffee this mornin', speed?”

She grinned. “It's Christmas morning! Come on!”

Seth and Kaden rolled their eyes at each other and followed her into the living room. Apparently their little elf had been a very busy girl. A huge pile of presents were stacked under the tree. Seth had tucked a few small things under there the night before, after he left Leah and Kaden. Most of the other stuff hadn't been there.

“Oh, wait!” Leah had set up the video camera on a tripod in the corner. She checked it, then flashed a thumbs up. “Okay. Time for presents!” She started handing out gifts to the men. “Go on. Open them!”

Kaden grabbed her arm and hauled her down to the couch between them. “Calm down, babe. Relax.”

Seth started on the first present she'd plopped in his lap. Inside lay a beautifully made kangaroo hide bullwhip.

“It's a BDSM Christmas,” he joked.

“You like it?”

He smiled. “Of course I do. Thank you.” He leaned over and kissed her.

She'd gotten them a wide variety of gifts from practical shirts, to the playful end of the scale, from novelties and remote controlled cars, to ... well, whips.

“These are more a gift for you,” Kaden joked.

She grinned. “Well, yeah. Duh.”

Kaden had bought her a gorgeous ring. Seth had gotten her matching earrings.

“Oh! They're beautiful!” Her eyes teared up as she hugged the guys.

For her men Leah had gone all out. She'd even snagged a Wii game system for Kaden. The men wasted no time getting that hooked up.

Once all the presents were opened, Leah still wore a playful smile. “What's going on?” Kaden asked from the floor where he was working with Seth to hook up the game console.

“I've got one more.” She looked at Seth. “For Sir.” She handed him a small, brightly wrapped box.

Seth opened it, a puzzled look on his face. He pulled out a set of keys. They weren't car keys. “What's this?”

“Why don't you come look?” She grabbed the camera from the tripod and waved him to the front door.

If he didn't know any better ... The keys looked familiar. He'd once owned a set of keys similar to these. When he'd had a...

He opened the front door. In the driveway, with a big red bow on the handles, sat a Harley Roadster.

He'd had a Harley once, years earlier, but his first ex made him sell it because she claimed she was terrified of them. Seth remembered how, at the time, Leah begged him not to sell it. She loved it when he rode her around on it.

His jaw dropped. He turned to Kaden. “Did you know about this?”

He shook his head as he smiled. “No. I suspected though, when she asked to spend the money. I was sworn to secrecy even though I didn't know what I was swearing to.”

Leah handed the video camera off to Kaden and grabbed Seth's arm. “I had them deliver it early this morning.”

“So that's why you're wired to the gills,” Seth joked.

He walked around the bike, then pulled her to him for a big hug. “I guess I know what you want this afternoon.”

“At least one time around the development.”

“It's great, babe. Thank you.”

“The helmets are in the garage. I got you a bike jacket and stuff too.”

“That was going to be my next question.” Seth loved motorcycles but wasn't an idiot. He never rode without a helmet or gear. He'd suspected his ex's fears had been more about how much Leah enjoyed the short rides and the fact that he'd bought Leah her own helmet and jacket than any worry about his own safety. When the four of them would go out to eat, Kaden and Leah would stop by their place. Kelly would ride in the car with Kaden, while Leah rode on the bike with him.

He recalled Leah nearly cried when he'd told them he was selling the bike. She'd begged and pleaded with him not to.

Now he saw that in a different light.

He pulled her tight against his side. “You were mad because you were losing time alone with me.”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“You barely spoke two words to Kelly after that.”

Leah shrugged. “Let's just say I wasn't happy with her for making you sell it.”

* * * *

Leah got her short ride that day, before they had to prepare for their guests.

Seth tried to relax during the afternoon. Leah convinced Seth and Kaden to play their guitars for everyone, and they had a cheerful session of singing Christmas carols ... some with risqué, made-up lyrics.

When the last person left a little after eleven, all three were exhausted. Seth gave in to Leah's request to sleep with them, even though all they did was go to sleep.

As Seth drifted, he thought about the day. It was a good day. He'd taken lots of video and hundreds of pictures.

He closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep without thinking the phrase “last Christmas.”

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Chapter 20

December thirtieth dawned cold and rainy, perfectly matching Seth's mood. While the day quickly cleared, his mind did not.

Leah seemed to sense his need for space and didn't hover.

He pulled on sweats and went for a run, his sneakers squishing on the wet asphalt as he tried to run his foul mood out of his mind.

Tomorrow night they'd have the last party of the season, fifty guests expected to show up.

Seth felt tired. He wanted it over with so he could relax and quit worrying about whether or not his fake smile looked right. He was tired of watching friends and family force smiles. He was sick of their private comments to him, how sorry they were, and that they were there for him if he needed anything.

Bullshit.

All words. Well meaning words, but when the time finally came, Seth knew it would be up to him and Leah to shoulder the burden while others uncomfortably withdrew with their worthless platitudes.

He didn't want to lose Kaden. He wanted to lose the world and spend the time they had left together, alone with his friends.

He'd also realized he loved Kaden. Not in a “hey, you've got a cute ass” kind of way, but more than friend or brother.

And looking into the barely masked faces of their friends and family didn't help Seth handle things any better.

Leah quietly fixed him breakfast. Later that afternoon, he settled on the couch and played Wii Bowling with Kaden.

They curled together in bed later that night. While tired, Seth was content to lie back and watch Kaden make love to Leah. Seth held her, softly whispering to her while Kaden made her climax.

* * * *

Last party. Kaden wanted to keep the lights and displays up until the first weekend in January, which was fine with Seth. It would take him a week or more to dismantle everything. He'd already laminated the sketches so he could have them for next Christmas.

In case.

Leah had bought him several dozen large plastic tubs. He would carefully store and label everything to make it easier to find next November.

Especially since he suspected he'd be putting it up alone.

Seth resisted the urge to drink, saving it for the midnight champagne toast. As they counted down, Leah dragged Seth and Kaden into the kitchen and kept a firm grip around their waists. When midnight arrived, she kissed Kaden, then Seth, and hugged them tightly to her.

“I love you both,” she whispered. “My boys.”

Kaden nuzzled her ear. “I love you too, babe.”

Seth kissed her other cheek. “Me too.”

Once all the guests had left, Seth and Kaden talked Leah into going to bed and leaving clean-up for morning. With all three of them exhausted, it wasn't hard to talk her into going to sleep, cuddled together.

* * * *

Seth gave up trying to sleep in his own room. Leah rarely allowed it. Sometimes she would settle for him staying out in the living room late, giving Kaden private time with her. When Seth tried to talk to Kaden about it, reason with him, his friend shrugged.

“She wants us both with her. If it doesn't bother me, why should it bother you? You're not feeling guilty again, are you?”

Yes.

“No.”

“Liar.” Kaden smiled. “It's okay. If it bothered me, I'd tell you guys. Seriously. Have I ever hesitated to ask for alone time with her before?”

Seth shook his head. No, he hadn't. Although Seth hadn't asked for alone time with her, Leah seemed to make sure he always got a little, at least once or twice a week, usually in the morning.

In Seth's brain, an invisible calendar ticked down. Not with dates and days and neatly marked squares, but more of a gauge, like a fuel tank. Right now, the level still floated in the lower end of the green region even though it had dropped somewhat over the past few months. The needle now dangerously hovered near yellow. Next would be orange, followed by red, each zone progressively narrower than the last. Then...

Black.

Seth knew damn well two years wasn't realistic, even though he prayed for it. If Kaden was still here next Christmas ... it would be a miracle.

Kaden kept Leah away from his appointments. While Seth didn't want to lie to her, he knew he couldn't keep rebuffing her attempts to get all the details.

Kaden focused more on the ropework than he did on the whips now that Seth had regained most of his confidence. Seth started working with the four-footer but wouldn't use it on Leah yet. He needed to fine tune his control with it first. Less forgiving if he nailed her with it, less room for error despite its shorter length.

* * * *

For Valentine's Day, Seth again presented them with a weekend alone. This time he took off, rode the bike up to Pensacola to spend the weekend with a former Army buddy who was in town for a family reunion. When he returned late Sunday night, Leah raced outside to greet him when she heard the rumble of the bike.

She nearly tackled him before he could get the kickstand down. “I missed you!” She threw her arms around him and hugged him as soon as he stepped off.

“I missed you too, babe. How was the weekend?”

He didn't miss the sad cloud behind her eyes. “It was good. We had fun.”

From the look on her face, Seth suspected she'd spent a lot of time in the playroom working through her growing grief.

Kaden read the newspaper on the couch. When Seth walked in, Kaden put the paper down and took off his glasses. “Hey. How was the ride?”

Seth dropped his bag on the floor behind the couch so he could pull off his jacket. Before he could say anything, Leah had grabbed it and carried it back to his room. “It was fine. How are you feeling?”

Kaden shrugged. “Same ole.”

“She okay?”

“Probably better with you back.”

Kaden gave them all a belated present. He'd had three matching bands made, two for the men and one for Leah, to wear on their right hands. An intricate, twining vine like the one in the tattoos, with a tiny triskelion engraved on it. Kaden slipped Leah's ring on her hand, then the other ring on Seth's.

“Still not doing you,” Kaden said with a grin.

Seth hugged him. “Ditto, buddy.”

But he looked at the ring and it ... felt right. Like the three of them belonged together in an unofficially official way.

* * * *

Time ticked on. While Leah was out grocery shopping one day, Seth walked into the den and caught Kaden with a pained look on his face, bent over in his chair. He rushed to his friend's side.

“What's wrong?”

Kaden shook his head. “Just a little pang, that's all. Feels better if I lean forward.”

“Do you want me to call the doctor?”

“What is he going to do? He'll tell me to try chemo or dope me up to the gills. It'll pass in a little while. It always does.”

Seth's heart chilled. “How long have you had this pain?”

“Off and on for a few weeks. It goes away if I lean forward for a while.” He looked at Seth. “Don't say a word.”

Seth swallowed hard but nodded.

* * * *

The men's birthdays were just a couple of weeks apart, Kaden's first. Seth told Leah he would sleep by himself that night after they had a small cake following a meal of Kaden's favorites, allowing Kaden alone time with her. The next morning she slipped into Seth's room and brought his coffee, then snuggled into bed next to him.

“Good morning,” he said.

She kissed him. “Good morning.”

“How'd you sleep?”

“Not nearly as good as I do when you're both there.” She rolled over and rested her chin on his chest. “I want a night alone with you for your birthday.”

“That's not necessary.” When her face clouded, he sighed. “All right. Quit pouting. Your face will fucking freeze like that.”

She laughed. “Thank you.”

“Like I can say no to you.”

* * * *

For Seth's birthday she cooked all his favorites and fixed apple pie for dessert. Seth tried not to feel guilty when later, as they were sitting on the couch watching TV, Kaden leaned over and kissed Leah good night.