The Reluctant Cowboy (13 page)

He didn’t know where he was going.  He just wanted to get out of the hospital and get some air.  He saw that people were still sitting in the waiting room, but he just kept going until he saw the elevators.  He heard his name being called, but ignored it as he made his way to and pushed the elevator button.  As he boarded, he saw Vanessa rushing toward him until she caught him.  

As the doors closed, he turned to her, “Did you know?” 

“Of course not.” 

“How did you not know that child was mine, Vanessa?  How?” 

“Cole, you are very upset and have every right to be.  Let’s go somewhere so we can talk about it.” 

“Where do you think I’m going now?  I want to get the hell out of here. Now that I know Skye,
my daughter
, is going to be okay, I need a drink.” 

“Let me take you.  I know where to go.”  Cole followed Vanessa to her truck and got in.  “I need to make a couple of calls first.”  He looked out the window while Vanessa texted and made a call. 

His mind was completely overwhelmed with the events that unfolded.  He was a father.  Sierra had never told him.  His best friend apparently didn’t know.  His daughter had a blood disease.  He had a blood disease.  He passed it on to his innocent child.  He didn’t say anything as Vanessa drove.  He was still processing his thoughts when she stopped the truck at a nice, large bar with an empty lot. 

“What time is it?” he asked Vanessa. 

“It’s after nine.” 

“Why isn’t the bar open?” 

“Mark happened to close it this weekend for cleaning and minor repairs and upgrades.” 

“Then why are we here?” 

“It still has alcohol and it’s a place we can talk in private.” 

Cole glanced at her as she started to get out of the truck, “You can’t drink.” 

“I may have a small glass of wine.  I asked Rocco and Mark to join us later, if that’s all right with you?  They are worried about you.” 

Cole chuckled, “About me?  I’m not the one in the hospital.” 

Vanessa entered the bar and turned on some lights as Cole looked around, “It’s still a great bar.  I remember last time how impressed I was.  It’s even nicer when you can see it empty.” 

He had been here two years ago, the night before the wedding with Vanessa’s brothers.  He had seen large crowds drinking and laughing, line dancing and having fun.  He remembered feeling out of his element at a country western bar but having a good time with them. 

He felt that way again for a very different reason.  Vanessa brought a glass of wine for herself and a double shot of scotch for him as she sat at one of the tables.  Cole reached for the glass, but wasn’t ready to sit down yet.  He downed the shot and raised his brow at Vanessa, who offered, “I left the bottle on the bar.” 

He walked over to bring the Johnnie Walker bottle back to their table, “Better.”  He poured himself another double shot. 

“Cole, talk to me.  You are going to make yourself sick.  Mark is going to bring some food when he comes.” 

“I’m not hungry.  I ate at the party.  The same party that ended with me being a father.”  He was still pacing, watching the liquid in his glass swoosh around as he paced. 

“I am still in shock too, Cole.  I’ve known Sierra for years, consider her a younger sister, watched her go through the pregnancy, thinking all along that it was just a one night stand.  A mistake she made.” 

Cole’s head whipped around, “A mistake?  Is that what she told you?”

“I’m sorry, poor choice of words. No, she didn’t say the word
mistake
.” 

“Damn right, she didn’t.” 

“She didn’t tell us much of anything.  She’s young.  We assumed the contraception failed.”  Cole laughed out loud as he took another swig of the amber liquid, relishing the feel of it scalding his throat.

“I know you are in shock, Cole, we all are.  It was a long time ago.” 

“That’s the ironic part, Vanessa.  She made the same
mistake
again a few months ago.  She didn’t mention her business trip to New York?” 

He watched as Vanessa’s expression changed with her confusion, “Yes, we knew she went to New York.  She saw you?” 

“It was my company, Vanessa.  She claimed she didn’t know I was the CEO.  They won the bid, landed our account.”  He was starting to laugh now, “I actually cared for her.  We spent two amazing nights together.  Hell, who knows, maybe I will be a father again.” 

“Stop it, Cole.  I’m trying to understand.” He watched her take another sip of her wine and rub her forehead, “Did you know each other?  Please, start from the beginning.” 

Cole didn’t want her to be stressed in her condition, so he took a deep breath and sat down with her.  He told her about the first time and then again in New York.  He didn’t leave much out and waited for her reaction.  She was visibly confused and concerned, “Now that I know everything, it’s starting to make sense to me.” 

“Care to share with me, then?  I’m still pretty damn confused and upset.” 

“You should be.  Upset, I mean.  Sierra didn’t tell anyone she was pregnant until she was four months along.  I suspected she didn’t know herself.  She wasn’t going out as much, wasn’t coming to the bar and now that I think about it, wasn’t spending as much time with me.”  Cole watched her work things out in her head.  “I just thought she was ashamed or embarrassed and wasn’t ready to talk about it.  Looking back, I understand why.” 

“Go on,” he urged. 

“Sierra knew I would tell you.  She didn’t want me to know about you or I would have persuaded her to tell you.  She didn’t want to lie to me and put me in that position.”  

“So, you are defending her?” 

“I didn’t say that.  I’m just trying to understand her thought process.  I love her and can understand her fear and insecurities.  Being young, pregnant, and alone.  She was scared, Cole.  Surely even you can see that.” 

“Not yet, I can’t.” 

Vanessa reached for his hand, “She was what, twenty-four at the time?  You are a handsome stranger that comes into her life for a night of passion.  She didn’t know you, Cole.  She didn’t even know your last name.” 

“She could have asked you about me.  She knew you and I were friends.” 

“She could have, but as time went on, she didn’t.  Then she finds out she’s pregnant?  It would be hard for her to come to me then and admit that you were the handsome stranger.” 

Cole removed his hand to take another drink.  He reached for the bottle on the table and poured another, “She was a virgin.”  There, he said it.  He watched Vanessa’s mouth open slightly in her surprise, then asked, “Did you know
that
?” 

“No, I didn’t know that, either. Well, that may explain her fear even more.” 

“Fear of what, exactly?” 

“Of you, you jackass.” 

“Excuse me?” 

He watched as she stood up and walked behind the bar for the bottle of wine.  She poured herself another small amount and a glass of water, then asked, “You took her virginity?  Did you use protection?” 

Cole felt her glaring at him, “Wait a minute.  Until a moment ago, you were on my side.” 

“I’m not on anyone’s side, Cole Alexandar.”  He knew he was in trouble when she used his last name.  “You come to
MY
wedding and seduce a young, innocent woman, whom I love like a sister and you don’t use protection?  You are old enough and experienced enough to have known better!” 

“I thought she was on birth control.” 

“Did you ask her if she was?” 

“No, but what twenty-something woman is not on some sort of it?” 

“The same twenty-something that was a virgin and got pregnant by some big shot, New York City, Playboy, Millionaire, apparently idiot!” she yelled.

“Whoa, whoa, what is going on in here?”  They were interrupted by Mark’s voice as he and Rocco came in. 

“New York is getting his ass handed to him by lil sister is what it sounds like,” Rocco joked, as he took Cole’s glass and downed its contents. 

Cole stood up and started to pace as Vanessa filled Mark and Rocco in on the developments of the conversation between them. 

“I know what you need, brother.”  Cole looked as Rocco slowly approached him.

“Don’t do it, Rocco.” 

“Oh, I think it needs to be done.”  Rocco took the first swing and Cole ducked.  The second swing, however, caught him squarely in the jaw.  Cole’s head snapped back as it landed.  Cole grinned as he let his frustration out as he and Rocco took their turns hitting and punching each other. 

After about ten minutes of “fighting” they heard Vanessa yell, “Enough!  That is about the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.  You two are not teenagers in the back yard anymore.  Stop it right now or I’m telling Mom and Dad.”  Cole and Rocco stopped their fighting and burst out laughing.  They leaned into each other and watched Vanessa take her full glass of water and throw it on them. 

“If you
gentlemen
continue to upset my wife, I’m going to have to take you both to school.”  They both looked at Mark and laughed harder.  Vanessa stepped in to block Mark from getting into the fray.  Mark was laughing, too, but gave them the bird while hugging his wife. 

Once they all sat down, Cole felt better.  Between the scotch, the fight and his conversation with Vanessa, he was starting to feel less confused.  They ate while they talked and the time passed quickly.  It was getting late. 

Cole watched Vanessa reach into her purse for her phone.  She was texting someone, “It’s from Sierra.  She wanted to know if I was with you.  She wants to meet with you in the morning.” 

“Take me to my car, I’ll go now,” he insisted. 

“You aren’t going anywhere, New York.  I’m taking you back to your hotel.  We can pick up your car tomorrow.”  Cole didn’t want to pick another fight with Rocco. 

“We all need to get a good night’s rest,” Mark said, helping Vanessa up from her chair. 

“I’ll go with you tomorrow, if you want me to,” Vanessa told him as she stood in front of him. 

“I know you would, but I need to talk with her alone….sober.” 

“Okay.  Please think about what we discussed earlier.  Try to see her point of view.” 

“I will
try
.” 

“That’s all I can ask.  I’m going to do the same.”  Vanessa gave him a tight hug and then she and Mark climbed in her truck while Rocco headed toward the rental car. 

“C’mon, brother.  If you need another drink, I have a bottle in my room.”  Cole and Rocco had a few more drinks in Rocco’s room before he headed back to his own.  He was totally exhausted and slightly drunk as he got ready for bed. 

He checked his phone and noticed a few missed messages.  He clicked the phone to life and saw they were from his friend, Christine.  [
Everything going okay?  You engaged yet?  When are you coming home?
]
 

Cole couldn’t resist a reply.  He knew it was after 1am, but that was considered early in New York City.  [
I’m a father.
]
  

Within minutes he heard it ping. [
Not old enough.  Correct term is Sugar Daddy. LOL.
]
 

He texted back.  [
Literally
]
. 

Within seconds, his cell phone rang.  He laid down on the bed as he proceeded to tell Christine what happened. 

Sierra was still searching the internet for any information she could find on the Von Willebrand Disease.  This was all new and scary for her. After they brought Skye home and got her settled, she sat down with her parents and brother.  She told them about Cole and apologized for not confiding in them sooner.  They just held her while she cried and talked.   Her brother came to her room later to hug her and tell her everything would work out.  After her brother left, she turned on the computer to start researching, but must have fallen asleep.  She woke up a few hours later to find herself on her bed with a blanket over her. 

She grabbed a quick shower, checked on the sleeping Skye and got back on the computer.  She checked her phone, but there were no messages.  It was 8:00 am on a Sunday morning.  She paused from looking at the computer screen to stand and stretch.  She peeked into Skye’s room, but she was still fast asleep. 

One of the many things she learned was that they would not be able to give her certain aspirin products for any pain.  The hospital had given her some medications and a change of dressing for her head.  She had a follow-up appointment scheduled in a few days with her local pediatrician.  The hospital records were linked to the doctor’s office where she took Skye for regular appointments.  She knew Skye was going to be okay. 

The nurses had helped wash her hair and body after Cole left the hospital.  To Skye’s chagrin, they had shaved the area around the wound.  There was a two-inch wide cut on her scalp above the hair line and to the side.  The stitches were neatly administered and wouldn’t need to be removed.  They would dissolve. Sierra knew it would the cut would itch as it healed and they would have to be remain vigilant to be sure Skye didn’t scratch at it. 

The nurses trimmed her tiny finger nails and advised Sierra to keep them very short.  The staff at the hospital had been caring and amazing.  Sierra reminded herself to send cards and gifts to them.  She would never take them or what they did for her and Skye for granted. 

She felt herself smile, wishing the same kind of staff could fix her and Cole.  “Now what? What could you possibly say to father of your child and fantasy man?  He managed to be a hero yet again yesterday.  Bearing gifts and then helping you with Skye. 
His
daughter.  I don’t think any of your heroines are going to be able to help you with this one.  You are on your own,” she continued to talk to herself as she got dressed.  “One day at a time, one hour at a time.” 

As she continued dressing, she heard her phone ping.  It was a text from Vanessa.  [
Riley and I would like to come over this morning and check on Skye and talk with you before you meet with Cole.  Can we come in an hour?
] 

Sierra sighed to herself, “No time like the present.”  She simply replied [
yes
]
.

Sierra had texted Dana to see if she would be able to come over, also.  Her mother had offered to make cinnamon rolls and was busy in the kitchen. 

Sierra fed Skye, who seemed alert and cheerful.  Sierra was amazed how quickly children could bounce back from an injury.  Skye wanted to touch her head, but they did their best to keep her occupied with toys and games. 

When the women arrived, they came into the large kitchen to visit with Sierra’s mother and to see Skye.  Skye was more than happy to show the women her “boo boo” and chatted about the hospital in her own limited, adorable vocabulary. 

“Let’s sit out on the porch,” Sierra led her friends around to the back of the house to the massive screened-in porch. 

The family loved this new addition to the home and took advantage of the view.  The home sat on two acres and the house was surrounded by large pine and maple trees with fragrant lilac bushes.   She and her mother planted many flowers and hostas to contrast with the trees and bushes, finishing the pretty back yard. 

The weather was still warm and the grass was lush and green.  The family cats were perched on their own kitty trees, looking into the yard.  Once the porch was completed, it was their favorite place to sleep and watch the birds and other small critters who frequented the bird bath. 

“I’m glad you came,” Sierra started.  “I have a lot to account for and you are three of the most important people in my life.  I’m going to try not to cry, but I can’t promise anything.”  She gave them a slight smile as they all sat down to get comfortable. 

Vanessa was petting one of the cats who came to inspect her, “Sierra, Riley and I didn’t come over to ask questions, or judge you.  We just wanted to show you how much we care and that you can tell us anything.  We love you and Dana like our own sisters.” 

Riley agreed, “You know how much you mean to me.  I don’t have any biological family of my own and you and Dana became my sisters during a terrible time in my life.  Even if Jeremy and I hadn’t gotten together, I know you would have supported and loved me.  We are here to do the same for you.” 

Dana gave a soft chuckle, “No tears here today. 
Right
…..” 

The women laughed as they dabbed at their teary eyes and Sierra spoke up, “You know how much you mean to me.  Dana was the only one I could tell.  Vanessa, I wanted to ask you a thousand questions after the wedding, but you were on your honeymoon for two weeks and when you returned, it got harder to get the courage to tell you I slept with your friend.  

“I didn’t know I was pregnant.  Honest.  I always had sporadic periods and just had one the week before the wedding.  I never thought about protection and still had periods through my first trimester.  Until Skye let me know she was inside me with her first kicks, I had no idea.  I was ashamed and embarrassed that I didn’t know I was pregnant.  I wanted to tell you both, honest, but every time I thought I could, something else seemed to come up.” 

Both Riley and Vanessa smiled, placing their hands on their own bellies, and Vanessa expressed her concern, “We understand you were scared, Sierra.  We also can easily see how you may not have known about the baby.  You were young and active and had no other signs you were pregnant.  The part that confuses me is why you wouldn’t come to me, even after Skye was born, and talk about Cole?”  Sierra saw the confused love in Vanessa’s eyes. 

“I wanted to.  I thought you might guess, once she was born.  Her dark hair, deep blue eyes.  I kept waiting for the lightbulb to appear over your head when you made the connection.” 

“Sierra, I never even knew you met him.  The wedding was a whirlwind and I couldn’t recall even formally introducing the two of you.  With so many people there, I had no idea.” 

Sierra took a breath before she continued, “Now that you do know, how do you feel about it?” 

She watched as Vanessa leaned back in her chair and gave a glance to Riley, before proceeding, “Honestly, a little hurt.  I love Cole like a brother and he means a lot to me.  I wondered if I hadn’t been a good enough friend for you to confide in me.” 

“That was my fault, Vanessa,” Dana quietly chimed in.  “I was scared for her.  I was afraid that if this millionaire friend of yours found out about Skye, he would try and take her away from Sierra.  I didn’t know Cole and I envisioned him like the big bad wolf.” 

Vanessa tried not to smile but failed, “Dana, do you really think I would be friends with a big bad wolf?  Cole is more like the big, bad puppy.  He is a sweet, caring man whom I love very much.” 

“You almost married him.” 

Sierra watched Vanessa turn towards her in surprise, “He told you that?” 

“Yes, I saw pictures of the two of you at his place.  You were teenagers and he has all of your family and his grandmother’s pictures in his room.”   All eyes were drawn to her as she continued, “He told me about the arrangement and that he was going to marry you before your grandmother died, to make her happy.” 

“I thought he was just joking and trying to be noble.  I had no idea he would have gone through with it.”  Vanessa was still reeling trying to absorb this information. 

“I think he was in love with you.” 

“Maybe he thought he was.  We spent a lot of time together.  He was always just another brother to me, but I sensed as we got older his feelings shifted.  When I would tell him about my dating exploits, he stopped teasing me like he used to.  For a couple of years, he barely spoke to me.  We became close again when I was in Italy.  We had some amazing conversations and he was wonderful to me and my family.”  She paused to look at Sierra, then continued, “Even if he thought he loved me, it doesn’t affect how he’s feeling now.  I’ve never seen him this way, Sierra.  He’s confused, upset, and angry.  He admitted to me last night that he had real feelings for you.  You were not a one night stand for him.” 

Sierra started to cry.  Dana sat on the couch beside her and handed her the box of tissues, “Water works.  Here they come again.  I’ve seen you cry more this year than I ever have. Knock it off.”  Dana was trying to get Sierra to laugh and it helped a little. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my New York trip, too.  I wish I would have.  It was one of the best trips I ever had.  We had so much fun together.”  Sierra suddenly stopped to look at Vanessa directly, “Did you get your presents?” 

She saw Vanessa shake her head in confusion, then explained, “He brought you and the baby presents.  That’s what we were doing before Skye cried.  He had asked me to help him bring in the presents for you.  He also had one for me…..”  She was starting to cry harder, “It was a snow globe, like the one from Sex and the City.  It played ‘New York, New York’ and it broke when I dropped it, after Skye screamed.” 

Her head was now bent and the sobs stole through her, “What have I done?  What do I say to him?” 

Riley spoke up, “First of all, you need to get a hold of yourself.  You remind me of me when I was feeling sorry for myself in a hospital bed.  I felt so alone and scared.  Vanessa was in Italy, I barely knew the two of you and I was desolate.  Even with Jeremy in my room every day, I had no idea how things would work out between us.  You need to remind yourself that Cole is here, now, and hasn’t gotten on the next plane back to New York.  You need to be strong for yourself and Skye.” 

Sierra took a deep breath and gave Riley a big smile, before Dana interjected, “That’s my bestie.  No more tears.  No more
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda
…”  They all burst out laughing at one of the lines from Sex and the City.” 

“Dana, you really are a dork.”  Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Sierra, seriously, Cole is angry.  I’ve tried to talk with him, but I’m not sure where is head is right now.  You need to be patient and listen to him.  He’s in shock and if he does have feelings for you, then he’s feeling a lot of pain.” 

“I promise you all, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.  Most of all, him.” 

“Then, buck up girl, you got some serious explaining to do.” 

The women continued to talk and Sierra told them about her trip to New York and the play.  She told them about riding the bull in the bar and they all laughed.  They played with Skye and after a couple of hours passed, they said their goodbyes. 

Sierra stopped Vanessa as she was heading out the door, “I think I’m in love with him.  He’s the only man I’ve ever been with.  I’m scared.” 

Vanessa hugged her again, then assured her, “You should be scared…but you know what?  He’s worth it.”