The Redemption of Callie and Kayden (40 page)

brother at baggage claim, we got in his midsize SUV and headed

out to the freeway. He looks a lot like me, only older with thinning

hair and fewer scars on his face. He’s dressed in slacks and a polo

shirt and the inside of his car smells like fast-food.

We keep the conversation light for about the first ten

minutes, talking about school and his family, and then suddenly I

have to know.

“Why didn’t you ever call?” I ask, holding onto the handle of

the door for support.

He looks at me with the same green eyes as mine. “I tried to,

but mom and dad changed the number when I left. And then when

I did get it, they would never answer and if they did they would

hang up. I wanted to get ahold of you after you moved out… but I

don’t know… life just kind of got in the way.” He pauses and his

hands grip the steering wheel and he forces a lump down in his

throat. “How bad was it?”

I shrug, staring out at the warehouse lining the side of the

freeway. “I don’t know.”

He doesn’t press me for the details, but he can tell by my

tone that it was bad. And he knows about what happened in the

kitchen, when my father stabbed me, and that story tells a lot.

“Have you heard from them at all since they took off?”

I shake my head and place my hand over my side on the last

scar my father ever gave me. “No, but I wonder why… and where

they went. It’s like they were running away from something.”

He nods, with a pensive look on his face. “Yeah, I know… I

think it might be that they were worried you’d speak up.”

“What would it matter if I did?” I question. “Even if I did,

there isn’t a whole lot I could do. Even if the police believed me,

and I could press assault charges, he could get off by only paying a

fine. And he probably would, knowing him.”

Dylan shakes his head as he turns the car for an off-ramp.

“Try attempted murder or even manslaughter. He stabbed you,

Kayden—beat the shit out of you. He beat the shit out of all of us.”

He touches his cheekbone and runs his finger over a small straight

scar on his cheek. “Someone should have spoken up a long time

ago and not let him get away with it.”

Silence takes over as we both drift back to our childhood. It’s

weird being around someone who understands what it’s like.

“We were all scared,” I say quietly and he nods in agreement,

his eyes focused on the road. “How do you get over it? How did

you move on with your life?”

He shakes his head and slows the SUV at a stop sign. “I

haven’t yet, but it gets easier with more time away from him. That

stupid fucking power he has over you will go away.”

I suck in a deep breath and then let it blow out. I tap my

fingers on the door, watching the houses move by in a blur and

wonder what his place will look like. I know he’s married and

doesn’t have any kids. His wife is a teacher too. It seems so normal

and strange to me, considering how Tyler turned out. But I guess

that’s life. Not everyone ends up the same way, even if their

circumstances are the same, because not everyone thinks and

reacts the same.

Finally, he pulls the vehicle to the side of the road in front of

a field and shoves the shifter into park. I’m surprised though by

where we are, not by houses but by a prison that’s hidden behind

a tall chain-link fence with coils of barbed wire.

“Ummm…” I glance at Dylan, perplexed. “What are we doing

here?”

He turns down the stereo and takes his seat belt off. He

stares at the building for a really long time before he speaks. “You

remember dad talking about his dad sometimes and it always kind

of sounded like he pretty much treated dad the same as he did

us?”

I nod, staring at the guards outside. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Well, you want to know the truth?” he asks and looks at me.

His eyes are a little glossy and I wonder if he’s about to cry or

something.

“I guess so.”

“He was actually worse, if you can believe it. Dad had a

brother and his dad—our grandfather—killed him… beat him to

death.”

My heart stops beating inside my chest and for a moment

I’m thrown back through time into the kitchen. The knife enters my

side. It hurts. Not just the pain. It hurts because he’s my father.

He’s not supposed to do this to me. He’s supposed to protect me,

not destroy me.

“And now he’s here,” my bother says, nodding his head at

the jail.

I pause as I take in the building and the fence around it.

“How did you find this out?”

“I wanted to know… where we came from. Why we had such

a shitty life. Was it just a freakish fucking coincidence that we were born into a crappy home with crappy parents? Or was it

inevitable?” He pauses, staring at the fence and the sharp barbed

wire. Then finally he cranks the wheel to the side and flips a U-turn, the tires spinning as he floors the pedal and drives down the road.

I’m not sure what to do with what he said or if there’s

anything to do, but I have to wonder if I’ll end up just like my dad, just like he ended up like his. I wonder if Dylan thinks the same

thing. I wonder if he prefers physical pain over feeling emotions. I

wonder if my dad does. I wonder a lot of things at the moment

and it starts to pile up on my chest. Everything I’ve worked so hard

to get rid of over the last few months is returning, the silent storm stirring.

But then I wonder if my dad could have changed his life,

knowing the outcome. He could have made himself feel things and

be a better person, just like I can. I don’t know why I choose that

moment to do it. It’s probably a little fucked up and twisted, but

the need to get it out of me is more overpowering than anything

else. Instead of reaching for a sharp object, I reach for my phone. I dial Callie’s number and when I hear her voice the storm in my

chest calms.

“Are you having fun?” she asks with hope in her tone,

wanting me to be happy.

I take a deep breath and say it with all the emotion I have in

me. “I love you.”

She’s quiet for a moment and I can hear her breathing, in

and out. “I love you too.”

For a moment, everything makes sense in the world. For a

moment, the darkness in my life lights up. For a moment,

everything is perfect and still.

Callie

I have a silly grin on my face when I return back to the

benches. I just got off the phone with Kayden and he told me he

loved me. I wasn’t too sure about him going out alone to Virginia. I

was worried about him meeting another family member who

would let him down and hurt him. But it has to be going well.

Because he said he loves me. Loves me. I’m practically skipping.

Greyson, Seth, Luke, and I are at a basketball game. The

crowd is really loud, and whistling and shouting fill up the stadium, along with the sounds of sneakers scuffing along the court. The air

smells like peanuts, popcorn, and sweat.

“Where are Greyson and Luke?” I ask when I sit down in my

seat next to Seth.

Seth points down at the bottom of our section where Luke

and Greyson are standing near the railing, chatting about

something. Greyson keeps waving his arms animatedly and Luke

keeps shaking his head in disagreement.

Seth’s brown eyes scan my face as he reaches into his

popcorn bucket. “What’s with the silly grin, my darling Callie?”

My smile grows as I grab a handful of popcorn. “Kayden just

told me he loves me.”

He almost throws the popcorn bucket onto the floor as he

reaches to wrap his arms around me. “I’m so happy for you,” he

says, hugging me.

I embrace him back, laughing as we squish the popcorn

bucket between our bodies. “I’m really happy for me too.”

He pulls away with a grin on his face as he sweeps the spilled

popcorn off his lap. “I know you are, which is good. I really didn’t

want to kick Kayden’s ass.”

I laugh softly at the idea of it. “I’m sure Kayden’s grateful

too.”

A large man behind us starts yelling at Luke and Greyson to

“sit the fuck down!”

“Shut the hell up,” Seth chimes in, giving him a dirty look

over his shoulder as Luke flips him the middle finger.

I hold my breath until the tension clears and then Luke and

Greyson start talking again. Luke’s been hanging out with the three

of us for the last few days and always seems comfortable, never

out of place.

“Sometimes… I wonder if Luke…” I lean in to Seth and lower

my voice. “If Luke… likes… guys.”

Seth sits there for a moment, crunching on popcorn as he

chews noisily. Then he starts laughing so loudly it nearly drowns

out the crowd. Then he stops and says in a low voice, “Luke’s not

gay, Callie.”

“Are you sure? Maybe he’s just afraid to come out, like

Braiden was.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Seth’s shoulders slump with his sigh and he

shakes his head. “You want to know what I think?”

I nod and grab a handful of popcorn. “Yes, please share your

all-knowing thoughts.”

He offers me a smile as he leans into me and whispers, “I

think that Luke’s been through something that makes him more

understanding and accepting than the average person. And I think

that sometimes people misinterpret understanding and

acceptance and make it into something that it isn’t.”

He’s completely right and I feel terrible. “You’re right and I’m

sorry. I should never try to guess things about people.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” he says, jabbing me playfully

in the side with his elbow. “Besides, you’re one of those people.”

“What? Understanding and accepting?” I shove a handful of

popcorn into my mouth.

His smile lights up his whole face. “The kind of person who

can see things in a different light, who’s been to hell and back. The kind who has had and gave redemption.”

I return his smile with equal happiness as the crowd goes

wild around us, shouting and clapping and jumping up from their

seats over a three-pointer. Seth starts clapping and I move my

hands together, but then my phone rings from inside my pocket.

“Cumbersome,” by Seven Mary Three.

“It’s my brother!” I shout over the noise of the crowd as I get

to my feet. “I’ll be right back. He’s been trying to call me all night.”

I hurry down the stairs, making sure to move to the other

side when a group of guys comes walking up. Even through all of

the recovery, crowds and unfamiliar guys make me nervous. But

the important part is I’m here and not hiding.

I quickly answer it as enter the food area and the screaming

of the crowd fades out. “Hey,” I say.

“Hey.” He doesn’t sound happy, but he usually doesn’t. I’ve

actually noticed that my brother has a very grumpy tone, but that

it’s just him and shouldn’t be taken personally.

“Sorry I didn’t pick up earlier.” I head to one of the empty

metal tables in the middle of the room, sink down on a bench, and

rest my arm on top of the table. “I’m at a game and it’s loud.”

“It’s all right.” He gets quiet and then he sighs. “Callie, I don’t

know how to tell you this—and mom thinks I shouldn’t—but

you’re friends with Luke and you’re going to find out.”

A lump starts to form in my throat and I swallow hard to

force it down. “What’s wrong?”

He takes a loud breath and blows it out. “Well, after the

police searched Caleb’s house they found a few things… notes and

journals and stuff… and, well… do you remember Amy Price?

Luke’s sister? She was only a couple of years older than you and

she committed suicide when she was sixteen.”

“I didn’t know she… I didn’t know that.” My chest starts to

compress as I remember the one time Luke mentioned his sister.

“Well, she did and no one really knew why,” he says. “I

remember some of the kids in my grade saying she was a slut and

super weird and a pothead, but no one really knew her outside of

that.”

Change a few words and Amy’s story matches mine.

“Jackson, what was in those journals they found?”

He keeps puffing out breaths and I wonder if he’s smoking

or something. “Notes about people, you, her… and the stuff he did

to you… her… other girls.”

I sit there, frozen in time, like a statue made of cracked and

chipped stone. “How do you know this?”

“Dad’s friend, Denny, the cop, came over for dinner the other

night and told dad, even though he’s not supposed to talk about it

yet until further investigation. He thought dad should know since

there was stuff in the journals about… you.”

He keeps talking, but I barely hear him. I barely hear

anything over the sound of my heart. I’m not even sure what’s

striking the nerve. Whether it’s the feelings manifesting inside me,

that Caleb actually wrote about me, that he did stuff to others, or

that Luke’s sister killed herself… and that maybe… and that maybe

she did it because of her internal suffering. Maybe she just couldn’t hold on any longer.

I cut the conversation short and head back to the stadium. I

walk back to the bench and my eyes instantly go to Luke. He looks

at me and cocks on eyebrow with interest and I feel my heart