The Rebirth of Sin (Wicked Trinity Book 2) (21 page)

As I stared at the true piece of beauty, the hope began to return. I would escape no matter what portion of myself I had to sacrifice to reach that escape. They could do whatever they wanted to do with my body. My mind had detached itself from it a long time ago. They would never dissolve my spirit or devour my mind.

-THE SECT

The sterile hospital room hummed with quiet activity. Positioned to lay on my stomach with pillows cradled around me to make sure I remained that way left me feeling stir-crazy.

Hushed voices were heard at the open doorway behind the pastel curtain, obscuring my view of the open door. I thought I discerned Braedan and my mother discussing an intense matter.

The conversation quieted down and the door closed with a soft shushing sound, taking away the harsh light pouring into the room. 

Earlier, Dr. Moore explained the extent of my injuries. Beyond the visible scars on my skin, the more painful damage Noah left me with wasn’t immediately seen but had far reaching consequences. His brutal sex caused the IUD—implanted while I was at Rebirth—to migrate and had to be surgically removed. 

The soft ticking sound of my mother’s stilettos neared me.

“I’m awake,” I rasped.

Standing at my facing side, she looked down at me. Pity and sadness draped her face, making me wish I had Braedan’s tie at hand to blind me.

“You’ll be able to return home in a few days,” she informed me.

“Are you…disappointed in me?”

Without a word to answer my question, she maneuvered around my bed and retrieved a chair. Sliding it across the floor, she positioned it in front of my bedside. Sitting down, she clasped her hands in her lap, crossing her legs at her ankles and tucking them underneath the chair. “Do you know the difference between love and lust, Keaton?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I know what this is about. I lied to you about Noah. I didn’t love him. I never have.”

She leaned forward and brushed her hands down the length of my dark hair. “Why did you lie to me, baby girl?”

“I…” To avoid disappointing her further, I left the statement incomplete.

“Have you ever experienced that soul-shattering love outside of what you feel for your family and your friends?”

Lost over what her objective was, I simply told her no.

“Lust comes easy. Love at first is harsh, ugly, selfish, and debilitating. When you get through the roughest parts, it can be beautiful. Love knocks you clean out, and it never lets go under any circumstances. 

“Your father is in a business where divorce is commonplace; we’ve always been able to stay firm in our beliefs and never adopted the flakey ideas of what the celebrity world thinks a relationship is supposed to be. Love—our love—is real. Real love doesn’t dissolve or transfer to the next person. It never goes away and it never dies. 

“What I never want you to do, is to worry about your father and me. We will fail. We will make mistakes, but you should never feel like you have to bear the burden of our errors. It’s not your duty, baby girl. If anyone ever tries to bribe you with something your father and I did, you tell them to go straight to Hell. Don’t ever put yourself in a situation less than what you deserve for us.”

“H-how did you know?”

“Braedan…told me,” she replied. “He’s an information broker; there isn’t anything he can’t procure or fix. He’s had information on us for quite some time. It wasn’t until recently that he felt compelled to do something with the information and make sure it was…silenced.” She paused to quickly swipe away her tears before they threatened to ruin her beautiful makeup. “Nothing is more important to your father and me than you. If ever I’m doing something that’s becoming a burden to you, tell me, Keaton. While the senate race is my dream, I would give up everything to protect you.”

Tears trickled down my cheeks. “I don’t want to be responsible for taking away your dreams. I don’t want Noah to win. If you give up your campaign, he will. He’s stolen enough. Too much. If I have to face what I ran away from to help you get what you’ve wanted for as long as I can remember, I can do that. I
want
you to have this, Mom.”

“You. Your father…our family is all I’ve dreamt about having as a little girl.” She leaned back in her chair and averted her eyes. “I have…no excuse for what I did to your father. I made a mistake because lust became easier. Living with the guilt is far from easy. Your father and I should’ve sought solace in one another, and we didn’t. We were so broken up over you, we… Your father knows about my indiscretion, and we’re trying our best to make things work. We’ll be okay, eventually, Keaton.”

My eyelids began to threaten my vision, becoming too heavy to hold up. “I think…the medication is kicking in. If he’s here, can you send Braedan in before I fall asleep? I’d like to thank him.”

“Of course. I’ll be here all night.” She stood and kissed my forehead. 

Struggling and grinding my teeth through the cutting tenderness emanating from every part of me, I pulled on the safety bars to lay sideways and face the window. 

Hearing him enter, my heart picked up a swifter pace. The physical and emotional feeling he increasingly evoked bled profusely, overwhelming my anguish.

“Keaton…your mother said you wanted to see me?”

At one time, it used to be so easy to follow my mother’s mantra: smile and shield the outside world from discovering my true mood. My seams had been torn open and my emotions poured out of me at an intemperate rate. I had rediscovered my strength at Rebirth, only to have it dissolved after I escaped. Noah’s expert manipulation over me left me shredded. 

“Can I ask you for something?” I remained still while keeping my eyes closed.

“Anything.”

“Can you hold me until I fall asleep?”

The air became still. I immediately regretted asking him to do what he might’ve deemed inappropriate.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. I…don’t know why, but I feel like I need this. It’s really crazy if you knew all the things that happened to me and how I came to Rebirth.” Taking a breath, I looked at the window, barely able to discern his reflection from the small peak I had between the pastel curtains. I only caught half of his silhouette, clad in a dark vested-suit. The sleeves of his collared shirt were rolled up, giving small peeks of his strong and defined forearms. “Maybe it’s because for the first time in a very long time, you made me feel something contrary to what always fills my head. Maybe it’s because when I shut down the part of me someone else tried to destroy, it made things worse.”

The peak of the half of his body disappeared from the window’s reflection. Clothing rustled, and the bed bowed. He slid into the space behind me. 

The scent of him permeated my senses, easing my troubles a little more. He was my medicine, soothing me in a way the IV had failed. A hand moved across my torso and pressed down on my sternum. His breath whirled around my neck as he rested his head on my pillow.

“Thank you.” I clung to his hand, slipping my fingers into the spaces between his fingers.

“There is no need to thank me.” His soft voice with a tinge of grit tickled my nape. "Nor do you ever need to feel ashamed.”

“Braedan,” I spoke with very little volume. My energy was null. Much of it was expended to prevent myself from breaking down. “I have every reason to be ashamed.” 

“I hope, somehow, you can begin to see things differently.” He held my hand firmly and with the other, reached up to stroke the hair falling into my face.

I sank deeper into everything he awakened. Safety. Kindness. Stillness.

“Why won’t you open your eyes and look at me, Keaton?”

With my eyes open, I never saw the truth until it was too late. I hoped that if I did the opposite, I would see and feel what was genuine like I did the night everything changed for me. “Because I see better when I’m blind, and right now, I see someone who might save me every time I fall.”

“This will be the last time you fall.” He swept one side of my long hair over my shoulder. “I’m going to ask you the question I know others have posed to you”—his whisper tickled my ear—“and this time, I want you to answer it truthfully: Why did you stay with him when you had resources to leave?”

Without a second of thought, I told my truth. “Because I deserved it. Because I’m the reason Phoebe, Reese, and Jeff are dead. My stupid actions caused their deaths. And for a while, I liked the way Noah punished me.”

His sigh skirted down my neck, bringing about a painful chill. “You’re done punishing yourself and letting others do it for you. Let me bear the burden of
all
the weight you’re carrying.” He stopped stroking my hair. His soft lips nearly touched my ear. “Give it all to me.”

Never one to trust so easily, I believed every word. I wanted to believe in someone or something desperately. In that minute, he was the safe light in a place I once thought to be permanently shrouded with pitch-black pledges of constant suffering.

The anger, hatred, and sadness I kept deep within the recesses of my being were released. I cried into my pillow to silence the volume.

His arms held me firmly but carefully affirming what I hoped would become my new reality.

IN THE MORNING, I woke to my mother fussing over me and making sure I awoke to eat the breakfast she bought me from her favorite restaurant for brunch. Braedan was gone, but shortly before his absence, he’d left a beautiful bouquet of pristine, thornless yellow roses kissed with dashes of red in a gold-brushed glass vase. My mother gladly read the note he left:

When you’re ready to release it all, call me.

He promised me freedom when my prison sentence was up, but I didn’t so easily believe I’d ever feel it again. Any place with him was a prison.

-THE SECT

It would be the first time I had ventured out of the house in several weeks. Sonja invited me to spend some time with her at the local soup kitchen, helping the staff serve the homeless. It should’ve been a difficult place to return to because of what happened last time I was there. Oddly, I found it soothing.