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Authors: Jess Tami; Haines Angie; Dane Alexandra; Fox Ivy

BOOK: The Real Werewives of Vampire County
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“Shall we head back upstairs?” I asked, dragging my fingernails down his chest. I hadn’t seen that chest in three weeks. Long-distance dating sucked. It was so good to be done with that now.
“Yes, let’s go.” Jon tossed me over his shoulder like a caveman. I gave a little shriek of surprise, flopping over to give his cute butt a smack. He gave me one in return as he headed toward the staircase.
Then the doorbell rang again.
“Ohmygod,” I said to his back. “Are you kidding me?”
“Ignore it.”
Ding dong.
Still atop Jon’s shoulder, I wriggled. “I just want to have sex. Who would’ve thought that would be such a problem?”
“It isn’t a problem. Let’s go have sex.”
Ding dong.
“No. Set me down.”
Jon grunted.
Down I slid. On the way, I happened to notice he was sporting a somewhat obvious hard-on. I motioned to his crotch. “You might want to cover that up.”
He glanced down, looked up, and gave me a crooked grin. “Maybe it’ll chase whoever it is away so we can get back to what we were doing.” He yanked open the door, and another attractive woman stepped into my new home.
The woman either didn’t see me or didn’t care. Tall. Brunette. Slim. And also well dressed—her clothes weren’t designer, but they looked like they’d been tailored to fit her perfectly. She blurted, “Jon, I need to talk to you right now about Carson. He’s—”
“Lindsay Baker,” Jon interrupted, motioning toward me. “This is Christine. Christine’s moving in today.”
Lindsay finally realized I was standing there. “Oh! Hello.” She shook my hand. “So good to meet you. Welcome to the neighborhood.” She thumbed over her shoulder, toward the open door behind her. “I live across the street.” Looking slightly wilted, she frowned. “I’m sorry I forgot you were moving in today. Jon told me last week. He’s been very excited.” She glanced at Jon. “I’m guessing Samantha’s already been by to welcome Christine?”
“Yep,” I said. “She brought lasagna.” That was slightly bitchy of me to rub it in, I’ll admit. I’ll probably pay for it, one way or another.
Lindsay’s smile was only slightly forced. “Of course she brought lasagna. Enjoy. The woman is the best cook on the block, now that Michelle—I mean, Samantha makes everything from scratch. Me, I’m lucky if I don’t burn a frozen pizza.”
“Yeah, me too,” I admitted. Two neighbors. Two welcomes. And both had mentioned Michelle, Jon’s deceased wife. I was beginning to worry I had some insanely perfect shoes to fill.
We exchanged a smile. For some reason, regardless of her mention of Michelle, I had a feeling I might get along with this neighbor. The jury was still out on Samantha.
“Anyway, I guess I’ll head out now. I’m sure you’re both very”—Lindsay’s gaze paused on Jon’s crotch before jerking away—“busy.”
“Thanks for coming by.” Jon grabbed the doorknob, ready to close the door behind her.
“Oh!” On the porch now, Lindsay spun around to face him. She opened her mouth to say something but then shut it. “Yes.” She waved at me. “Again, welcome. If there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Thanks.” I waved back.
Jon shut the door. He gave me a look that made my heart flutter. “Now, let’s get back to welcoming you home—”
Ding dong.
I sighed. “We might as well forget it. It’s not happening. I didn’t know you were so popular.” We’d met on an online dating site. Jon had flown out to meet me exactly one month after we’d started chatting online. And he’d made the trip every other weekend after that, for the next five months. I mentioned, once or twice, coming out to see him instead, but he’d insisted it was better for him to do the traveling. He could write it off as a business expense. I couldn’t. And once I got over the suspicion that he was actually married and trying to keep me from finding out, I couldn’t argue with that logic. All that to say, this was the first time I’d seen him in his hometown.
“I’m not ‘popular,’ ” he said. “My neighbors are all just extremely nosy. You’re the first woman who’s been in my house since ... since Michelle died.”
While our two visitors had already mentioned his wife, today was the first time Jon had actually said her name in my presence. I saw that as a sign. “Speaking of Michelle, you promised to tell me what happened when I moved in. So I knew how to handle Josh. Here I am.”
He started to respond, but the doorbell cut him off. He lifted an index finger.
Ding dong.
He opened the door to reveal yet another attractive woman. Stepford Wife Number Three was suited up tight in Hugo Boss, her hair coiled on the back of her head. Her makeup was flawless but understated.
“I’m sorry if this is a bad time... .” The woman, who was still standing on the front porch peered in at me. “... but I saw Samantha and Lindsay—”
“No, of course it’s not a bad time.” Jon motioned her inside. “This is Christine. Christine, this is Erica Ross. She lives next door—on the other side.” He motioned toward the opposite side of our home.
“Good to meet you,” I said.
“Welcome to the neighborhood,” Erica said, shaking my hand. She produced a card. “If you need anything, feel free to call. I work quite a bit, but my husband’s home with the kids during the day. Adam’s pretty handy—unlike Jon here.” Erica and Jon exchanged a smile.
“That’s true,” Jon admitted. “I won’t even try to argue with that. Which is why I have a list of trusted contractors on file.”
Erica continued, “Michelle used to call Adam whenever she had a minor emergency. Plugged sink, that kind of thing. He doesn’t mind at all. Gives him something to do.”
“Okay. Thanks.” I put the card in my pocket.
“Thank you,” Jon echoed, looking like he might shove the woman out if she didn’t leave on her own.
“I can’t stay,” Erica said, turning toward the exit. “I’m on my way to meet a client. But I didn’t want to go without at least saying hello.”
“That was very thoughtful. Thanks.” I gave her a wave as she hurried out the door.
Jon closed and locked the door behind her. “Okay, now that’s enough of the neighbors. I don’t give a damn if the mayor rings my doorbell to give you the keys to the city. I’m not answering. We’re going to our room.” He grabbed my hand and took the stairs two at a time. “I’m going to have sex with you if it kills me.”
Kills him?
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that statement.
The truth of the matter was, the moment was over. Between worrying about being interrupted again, and curiosity about the wife Jon hadn’t talked about before today, I was more interested in getting back to the discussion we’d started before Erica’s entry.
Once we were inside the bedroom, Jon, true to form, went for my neck.
I held him off with outstretched hands. “Hang on, there, Dracula. I want to talk about Michelle first. How did she die?”
CHAPTER 2
“O
kay,” Jon said, sitting on the bed. What do you want toto know about my first wife?”
Standing next to the door, I said, “Well, how she died, for starters.”
Jon nodded. Looking solemn, he patted the bed, inviting me to sit beside him. I did. “Michelle had a lot of issues. Emotional problems. Not many people knew. Not her friends. Not her parents. Not even Josh. Only her doctors and me. It started almost immediately after we were married. She seemed happy for a little while, maybe six months or so, but then my crazy work schedule got to her. She became lonely. Depressed. I suggested we start trying to have a child, and her mood picked up again.” His smile was wistful, sweet. “I thought we were going to be okay. But when she didn’t get pregnant right away, her depression came back. And it was worse. I suggested we give up, think about adopting to take the pressure off. She insisted we keep trying. So we saw a specialist. Had some tests run. Turns out she had some kind of hormonal imbalance. She was given some pills and a few months later, she was pregnant.”
He hadn’t gotten to the part about her dying, but I was willing to be patient. This was, by far, the most words I’d heard Jon speak consecutively since meeting him. He wasn’t the chit-chatty kind.
“After Joshua came home, things were good. Perfect. She was busy. Happy. She poured her energy into taking care of our son. She volunteered at his school. She made cupcakes for his bake sales. She helped him with his homework and hauled him to soccer practice and baseball games. Her world revolved around our boy for ten years. She was a wonderful mother. A wonderful wife. But when he started to become more independent—as is normal for boys that age—she told me she was ready to have another child. And I was glad to try for another, especially if it meant she’d be happy. Unfortunately, it wasn’t so easy. She took hormone treatments. But they didn’t help. We even tried IVF. Nothing worked. One day, two years ago, I came home from work to find she’d killed herself.” Jon blinked. His eyes reddened. He sniffled. “I never thought... .”
“I’m sorry.” I set my hand over Jon’s. His was trembling. Made me wonder, was he over his wife’s death? “Two years isn’t a very long time.”
“I’m okay. I even went to a counselor for a while.” He didn’t exactly sound okay. “If you’re worried that I’ll be comparing you to Michelle all the time, please don’t be. I told you she was my past, and I meant it. She’s gone. I’m ready to move on. I’m looking back now only because you asked me to. From this point forward, we’ll be looking to the future. Our future.”
“I hope so.” I wasn’t one hundred percent convinced. “I quit my job for you. I gave up my apartment. I don’t have a safety net, if this doesn’t work out—”
“You don’t need one, Christine. Trust me. Please.”
I wanted to trust him. I was almost afraid not to.
Shifting to face me, he took my hands in his. “Look, I told you things won’t be perfect. And it won’t be easy. My hours are crazy. I’m not home much. Josh will need time to adjust to having another woman in the house. But I will be here for you, just like I was for Michelle.”
Feeling slightly chilled, I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m a little scared. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.”
“I understand. I would be, too.” He pulled me into a hug. I relaxed in his embrace. He was warm and strong and I wanted to believe he was the man of my dreams. Easing back, he brushed my hair out of my face and gave me a sweet, gentle kiss. “I want you to always feel you can be honest with me.”
I nodded. “You too.”
“Now, there’s one room I haven’t had a chance to show you yet. I think now’s the time.” He stood, offering his hand. I accepted it. Down we went, to the main floor of the house, through the kitchen, and down a second, steeper set of stairs to the finished basement.
I stopped at the bottom of the steps, clapped my hands over my mouth. “What is this?” I said through my fingers, my eyes sweeping over the bright, cheery space. I saw three long counters, dotted with various sewing machines. Three dress forms stood along one wall, in front of floor-to-ceiling shelves. And sitting on a stand was a very special machine.
“It’s your sewing studio,” Jon said.
“You’re kidding.” I made a beeline for the commercial grade embroidery machine. That one alone cost anywhere from ten to fifteen thousand dollars. I’d been dreaming of getting one for ages. Gaping, I glanced around the room again. “I can’t believe this.”
“I wanted you to have everything you’d need to make your dream come true. I couldn’t expect you to launch your clothing line with that rusty old Singer of yours.”
“Are you for real?” I asked, throwing my arms around his neck. I kissed him all over his face. “Ohmygod, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” His eyes twinkled. How I adored those twinkles. I adored a lot more than his twinkles.
Just tell me this man is everything he seems to be.
“Now that you’ve seen your surprise, how about we get that truck unpacked?”
I could care less about all the crap I’d hauled here now. Outside of my clothes and a few personal items, none of it was worth anything. None of it would fit in this glorious house. But I had to return the truck to U-Haul in the morning. “Okay.”
Jon gave my butt a little tap as he led me toward the garage. “And maybe when we’re done, you’d like to take a nice, long bath... .” A bath? My apartment had only had a tiny shower stall. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d taken a bath. “... together.”
A hot man. A gorgeous house. A dream studio. Could my life get any better than this?
“And tomorrow, you can go shopping for material,” he added.
Shopping?
I wasn’t in Stepford. I was in heaven.
 
The next morning, I was sorting through my sewing pattern collection when the doorbell rang. Jon was upstairs sleeping. So was Joshua. That meant it was up to me to answer. Looking glorious (not) in a ratty pair of sweats, a T-shirt that said, NY L
OVES
M
E
, and a ponytail, no makeup, I checked the clock as I padded barefoot to the front door.
The bell rang two more times before I finally answered.
What a surprise (not). It was Samantha, Lindsay, and Erica. Samantha was holding a plate covered in foil. Lindsay had a steaming carafe of something that smelled incredible, and Erica was holding a white bakery box.
“Good morning.” I stepped aside to invite them in. “What a surprise. At nine o’clock in the morning. On Labor Day weekend.”
Lindsay, donning a semi-scowl, gave me a quick up-and-down inspection. “We didn’t wake you, I hope.” She lifted the carafe. “I brought caffeine.”
“No, you didn’t wake me, and thanks.” I had to admit, nobody had ever gone to such lengths to make me feel welcome before. In the city, it was a big deal if my neighbors gave me a little nod in the stairwell. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this. Was it a suburbia thing?
“I made muffins this morning. They just came out of the oven,” Samantha said as she click-clacked past me.
“I brought bagels.” Erica, following on Samantha’s heels, lifted the box. “I hope you like Einstein’s Everything bagels.”
I motioned them all into the kitchen. “I do, thanks.” After four tries, I found the cupboard with the cups. I grabbed four and set them on the island-slash-breakfast bar. Then I went in search of plates.
“I just love Everything bagels,” Lindsay said, pulling out a stool and sitting.
“Me too. The saltier and garlickier the better,” Erica said, sitting beside Lindsay.
“I prefer plain,” Samantha said, taking the third stool.
Standing on the opposite side of the bar, I placed a plate in front of each of them.
Meanwhile, Lindsay poured a steaming cup of coffee and handed it to me. I took a whiff. My mouth watered. “What kind of coffee is this?” I sipped. Delicious. But hot. I set down the cup to look for knives.
“My own blend. I may not bake.” Lindsay put a bagel on her plate. “And I’m not much of a cook. But when it comes to coffee, I know a thing or two. Erica, tell me you didn’t forget cream cheese?”
“Of course not.” Erica spread a handful of little packets on the counter.
We all settled in, nibbling on the world’s best muffins and munching on bagels for a few minutes.
It was Lindsay who eventually broke the silence. “We thought we owed you an apology for yesterday,” she explained.
“Oh? Why’s that?” I asked around a mouthful of muffin.
“Because we all just met you, and right off the bat we were talking about Michelle,” Erica said. “Talk about insensitive.”
“It’s okay. I understand.” I spread some more cream cheese on my bagel. “Jon told me you were close friends.”
“Yes, we were. For ten years. Since the day they moved in.” Lindsay gave me a charming smile. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends with you, too.”
“I’m glad.” At least, I thought I was glad. A part of me was unsure about this whole thing. These three women, The Pack, seemed a little too eager to be my friends. It was odd.
“Jon told us you were living in New York,” Erica said. “I imagine you think we’re strange.”
“Oh no, of course I don’t.” I felt my face warming.
Erica laughed. She tucked her hair behind her ear, revealing a simple, but pretty, diamond earring. “Liar. I lived in New York for two years before I married Adam.” She glanced down at the enormous diamond ring on her finger. “This has got to be a culture shock for you.”
“Okay, maybe it’s a little strange,” I admitted.
The three friends exchanged nods.
Samantha, looking as perfect and perky as ever, smiled. “We’re not as desperate for friendship as you probably think.”
“I don’t think you’re desperate—”
“We’re just trying to be friendly.” Samantha leaned closer. “You see, you don’t know it yet, but you’re going to need all the friends you can get.”
Now, that was a weird thing to say.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because that man upstairs—the one you’re about to marry—he’s not exactly what he appears to be.”
“We think he killed his wife,” Lindsay whispered.
Holy shit.
“She committed suicide,” I said, wondering why they would think such a thing.
I don’t know these women. They could be lying to make me leave. Maybe they’re all in love with Jon.
“Suicide? That’s what he told you?” Giving me a pitying look, Erica shook her head. “That’s a lie. If you don’t believe us—and really, why would you?—check it out for yourself.” She motioned for a pen with her hand. I found one in a drawer, along with a little spiral notebook. She pulled a sheet out and wrote a website on it, folded it, and handed it to me. “I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Jonathan Stewart was investigated for murder. He hasn’t been brought up on charges ... yet. They couldn’t find enough evidence. But the case is still open. Here’s the write-up in our local paper.”
Lindsay reached for my hand. “Be careful.”
I was dumbfounded. Speechless. What the hell was this? “Jon said she was depressed,” I stuttered. “She couldn’t get pregnant.”
“Depressed?” Samantha pulled a cell phone out of her pocket, hit some buttons, and handed it to me. “Depressed people isolate themselves from friends, from family. They don’t go to parties. They don’t laugh with friends. This picture was taken the day before Michelle died. At our neighborhood block party. Does she look like she was isolating herself?”
I looked.
First, Michelle could pass for my doppelganger. That was freaky enough. But second, she looked like she was having a great time at the party. And when I say
great,
that might be a slight understatement.
A shiver swept up my spine.
“There are more pictures,” Samantha said. “Hit the button.”
“I don’t need to see more.” I handed Samantha the phone and glanced down at my plate. My appetite was gone. Had I made the mistake of a lifetime? Had I left my job, my life, to move in with a murderer? “The pictures don’t prove anything.”
“You’re right. They don’t,” Erica said. “But we’re hoping the police will find some solid proof soon. You could help.”
“You want me to dig for clues while I’m living with a man you believe killed his
wife?
” This was crazy. Insane. Unbelievable.
I needed to find out more. About Jon, yes. But also about these women. I was having some doubts about Jon. Any girl would. After all, I’d learned a long time ago that something—or someone—who seemed too good to be true generally was. But I was also having some suspicions about my three neighbors. What were their stories? Why were they so hell-bent on convincing me Jon killed his wife?
“You don’t trust us. I can appreciate that,” Erica said. “At this point, all you have is what we’ve told you. But once you do a little digging, you’ll realize who has been telling you the truth and who has been lying.” She stood, motioning to the other two. “Ladies, I think we’ve taken up enough of Christine’s time.” She gave me a smile that seemed genuine. “Our offers still stand. If you need anything, from any of us, we’re here for you.” She was the first to head for the door. Samantha was second. Lindsay was the last.

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