The Real Me (How to Tame a Heartbreaker Book 4) (11 page)

"Oh it's no big deal. I honestly didn't even know if we'd talk tonight, I just wanted to text you because I said I would."

"What'd you do tonight?" he asked.

"Me? Oh nothing for once. I'm done with school and I didn't go up to Clarksville.
I'm walking one of the girls at the shelter through a job interview tomorrow, and I've never even really been to one myself. I think I have a handle on it, though."

"What are you going to do—a fake interview?"

"Yeah, Mary and I each do one or two with the girls before they set up a real one. It was embarrassing for me at first, but doing a few fake ones really seems to help them when they try it for real." She paused and sighed. "Enough about me. What do you have going on?"

"
I hung out with my brother and some of his friends tonight at some girl's house."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, why? Are you jealous?"

J
ax laughed. "Why? Should I be? Were you with someone?"

"No," Cam said. "But I could have
been."

She laughed again, and Cam felt annoyed at her lack of jealousy.

"Are you serious?" she asked.

"Yes."

"What? Are you some kind of player or something."

"Apparently not."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I didn't do anything.
I didn't even want to."

"Is that supposed to make me feel good?"

"Yes."

Jax didn't know what to do with
her feelings. Part of her was mad that he was telling her about it in the first place, but the other part of her was relieved he hadn't been with someone else. Her confusion on the subject made her say something she would have never said under normal circumstances. It was something she'd been meaning to tell him since they had several meaningful conversations and she felt like she was getting close to him—but she didn't mean for it to come out quite like it did.

"You should probably know I'm a virgin," she said.

Chapter 12

Cam was quiet for a few seconds while he thought about the fact that Jax had never been with anyone. She'd hinted at it before, but hadn't come right out and s
aid as much, and he felt overjoyed at the news. The thought of someone else getting to experience Jax made him enraged, and the relief of knowing it wasn't true made him smile even though she couldn't see him.

"Aren't you going to say something?" she asked.

"I—" Cam cleared his throat. "I'm, uh, glad. It's good to hear you say that actually." He thought about the other bartender calling her Mother Theresa, and asked, "Do you, uh have plans to remain that way forever or something?"

She let out a surprised laugh. "No."

She took a deep breath wondering if it was okay to be honest with him about her feelings and ultimately decided to go for it. "I always thought I'd wait on getting married or whatever."

Cam took a silent breath wondering if he was patient enough for something like that.

She spoke again before he had the chance to. "I don't know," she said. "I thought that's the way it would be, but lately I'm not sure if I'm patient enough for that."

Had he said that out loud? Was she reading his mind?

"What do you mean by lately?" Cam asked. "Does that have anything to do with meeting
me
?" He was just being funny but he hit the nail on the head.

She was feeling just reckless enough to tell him the truth. "Yes, actually," she said. She wouldn't see him for a couple of weeks
, and knowing that made her feel lonely for him. Cam felt like he hit the freaking jackpot with this conversation. She was a virgin who was having non-virginal thoughts about him. And better still—it was the
real
him she was after—the non-famous guy.

He was grinning from ear to ear. "Have you ever had an orgasm?" he asked.

She gasped. "No." She said it with genuine surprise at his question. "I just told you I've never been with anybody."

"You don't have to
have sex with anybody to have an orgasm."

Jax thought about that and realized with not much consideration that he was talking about masturbation, hand jobs, self-pleasure.

She thought only guys did that.

"I know, but I, uh—no, I've never had an orgasm. I really wanted to lie about that since it's really embarrassing to say out loud, but
I couldn't bring myself to do it."

"Can you
not
even tell a lie? I don't know if I can handle this kind of perfection."

"Oh I lie. And I'm far from perfect. I just couldn't lie to you about that because it's gonna be obvious that I didn't know what I'm doing if we ever—" she broke off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

Cam's desire raged out of control. His cock ached to be inside her. He couldn't believe she was actually making plans for them to hook up in the future. He wanted to drive to Nashville that instant.

"Let me get something straight
with you right now, Jax. I
love
that you're inexperienced. I mean, not in a weird, fetish-ey sort of way, but more in a
I would want to murder the other guy
kind of way."

"That's even w
eirder than the fetish-ey way," she said, giggling.

"No way. It's not weird at all. It's perfectly normal for me to murder all my girlfriend's exes."

She didn't know what part of that comment to pay attention to—the
all my girlfriends
part, which made her jealous, or the fact that he said the word
girlfriend
when he was referring to her. It was the first time in her life that she'd ever felt like she wanted to be referred to as that.

She laughed, knowing that's what was
appropriate for the situation then she let out a sigh. "This is going to seem really stupid, and I'll probably hate myself for saying it, but sometimes I feel so ready to, uh you know, that I could just burst at the slightest touch. I guess that's normal."

Cam's erection was now officially painful. He pictured her perfect
face, and absolutely
ached
to fill her. He cleared his throat. "Of course it's normal," he said. "I'm surprised you've never gone ahead and done it."

"Done what?"

"Touched yourself."

Again, she had the thought that only guys did that, but didn't say it out loud since apparently she was wrong.

"I'm afraid I don't know enough to even do
that
right."

"There's nothing to know," he said. "You can't mess up. You just do what feels good."

Jax felt the warmth spread between her legs. She had the fleeting thought that she wished she had more self-restraint, but just couldn't resist giving in to the urge to continue the conversation even though she knew it would lead to things.

"I guess it's just
so extreme because it's been building so long," she said. She knew the comment would push his buttons—hoped it would at least.

"Where are you?"
he asked.

"At my apartment. Why?"

"Are you alone?"

She hesitated. "Yeah."

He hesitated. "Are you feeling that way right now—like you want to burst at the slightest touch?"

She was silent for several sec
onds, considering the direction the conversation might take. She realized she was okay with being adventurous.

"Yes," she said
a little breathless. She did feel like she wanted to burst, and hearing his voice and the way he spoke so confidently only amplified the effect. She remembered his face—imagined his blue eyes.

"Do you want to try it?"

She knew what he was talking about and wasn't about to pretend she didn't.

"I might have to sometime now that I seem to have the green light from you." Her voice was soft and vulnerable, and Cam stuck his hand down his pants to adjust his ever-hardening piece.

"Why don't you go ahead and do it right now, baby girl?"

The question made her need him so badly that she felt l
ike she wanted to double over. She let out a nervous giggle.

"Don't laugh," he said sweetly. "I'm serious. Why don't you give me the pleasure of hearing you come for
the first time?"

This was bad—
very bad. She should definitely hang up the phone. This had trouble written all over it, and she was more turned on than she ever thought possible.

"That's a little embarrassing, don't you think?"

"Not if we both do it at the same time."

Jax felt her hips thrust forward on their own accord. The level of desire she felt was off the charts, and she was pretty sure she was on the brink of something.

"What are you wearing?"

She laughed.

"What?" he asked.

"It's just
funny because that's exactly what they say in the movies."

"Tell me what clothes you have on your body, Jax. I need to know because otherwise I won't be able to tell you what to do."

"Are you serious right now?" she asked.

"I'm holding something in my hand that's extremely serious, and I'd like you to tell me what you're wearing so I can picture you
."

"A tank top and a pair of striped pajama pants."

"I'm wearing boxers, but I'm working on getting them off. Why don't you do the same?"

"What? Just take off my pajama pant
s?"

"
You can leave them on if you're more comfortable, but they'll just be in the way."

Jax sat on her couch, wondering what had gotten into her that she was
actually
considering having phone sex with this guy. Her body completely overruled whatever rational thoughts crossed her mind, and she ended up shimmying out of her pants.

Cam heard the rustling and
smiled at the vision of her taking her pants off. "Have you ever touched yourself at all?"

"No."

"Okay, I want you to put your hand down there. You don’t have to do anything. Just reach down there and cup your hand around the outside."

Cam took himself in his hand and squeezed to relieve some of the pressure he was feeling. He held his breath as he imagined Jax touching herself.

"Do you have your hand there?"

She hesitated briefly. "Yes," she said.

"Okay, I want you to take the tip of your middle finger and run it along the slit." He paused. "Are you doing that?"

"Yes."

"Don't go past the outside of those lips—not yet. I just want you to feel the outside. Just run your finger real gently along that slit."

"Okay," she said breathlessly.
"

"
Do you feel any sort of wetness?"

"Sort of. I guess."

"Let your finger slip past the outside and tell me if you feel any wetness there."

She gasped. "Yes."

Cam closed his eyes and continued to squeeze his piece.

"I want you to use two fingers to put some pressure on the little bud you feel near the top of your slit. Do you feel the place I'm talking about?"

"Yes." Her voice was soft and he wished he could hold her.

"Put some more pressure on it, Jax. I want you to rub it and imagine that instead of your hand, it's me against you."

It was quiet for a few seconds and then he heard her whimper.

"Does it feel good?" he asked.

"Yes," she said on a breath.

"I want you to come, Jax. I want to hear what you sound like from over the phone."

There was a few more seconds of silence.

"I want you to continue to put pressure on that spot
—rub it up and down."

Jax let out a little moan, and hoped he didn't hear.

"Jax, go harder if you need to—faster too."

"Oh, God what's happening?"

He heard a sound that was a cross between a moan and a whimper.

"Hold the pressure there, Jax. I want you to come for me
, baby."

"Ohhh
God."

"Do you feel that?"

"Yesssss." She continued to let out sporadic little whimpers for the next several seconds, and he wished he could be there with her.

They were both silent for a minute before she spoke. She was hoping he would speak first since the embarrassment of what she'd just done sank in, but he was quiet on the other end. 

"Uh, hello?" she whispered. It was the best she could come up with given the circumstances.

"You all right?"

"Yeah—other than not really knowing what to say."

Cam had been finishing himself off during the silence, and was just now coming to his senses when she spoke.

"You don't have to say anything," he assured her. That thought was comforting to her since she couldn't really put together a coherent thought with the way her body felt. The wave of pleasure that had just hit her like a ton of bricks was good enough that she was relatively sure it was a sin, and she absentmindedly wondered why girls felt the need to have sex with a guy at all when it was possible to do
that
to yourself.

Jax wanted to tell him she had to get off the phone so she could avoid whatever awkwardne
ss was about to take place, but she knew she had to talk to him. She wished she knew what he was thinking. She wondered how in the world she let the conversation take that path. It wasn't all his fault either. He didn't
force
her to do it. She wanted to. She was so desperate to be touched that had Cole been there, she probably would have let him do it himself. She felt a sense of regret and couldn't help but be thankful that she hadn't just given her virginity to him just now. She didn't think straight when it came to this guy—that's all there was to it.

"Do you feel weird right now?" Cam asked.

That was an understatement. She'd taken her hand out from under her panties, but it still rested on her crotch. It was still throbbing from whatever had just happened down there.

"I think weird's an understatement,
" she said. "It's like right after it happened, I came crashing back to Earth, only the Earth I'm encountering isn't the place I thought it was before."

Cam laughed. "I think I get that," he said. "It's normal for you to
feel different right afterward, but the flight is worth the fall if you catch my drift."

She thought about whether or not it was worth it and decided, mostly because he was being s
o sweet right now, that it was. "I think I can probably appreciate that eventually," she said, "but with this being my first time and all, I'm uh, just a little taken aback."