The Real Katie Lavender (52 page)

All these months on and she could still be taken unawares and reminded that Neil was never walking through the front door again; never again would he call out to her, or ask how her day had gone. It was the silliest of things that could stop her in her tracks and reduce her to tears. Yesterday a holiday brochure in his name had dropped through the letter box. The stark realization that he would never again look forward to a sailing holiday had left her feeling hollow for the rest of the day. He would always be there in her thoughts; she would remember him for the good things he’d achieved, for the happy years they’d had bringing up Lloyd together. For that she would always be grateful. She refused to think of him in any other way. Some would say she was denying the truth of what he’d done, but she didn’t see it that way. She knew exactly what he’d done – he’d lied and cheated clients out of their money and slept with another woman – but that didn’t diminish the love she continued to feel for him. If people couldn’t understand how she felt, that her love was unconditional, that was their problem, not hers. She just wished he’d come to her and explained that he’d met someone else and wanted a divorce. She would have been heartbroken, but at least he wouldn’t have got into the mess he had, and more importantly, he’d still be alive.

It didn’t happen too often, but if she ever started to feel sorry for herself, she thought of the family whose little boy was buried next to Neil. She couldn’t begin to imagine how she would have coped if Lloyd had died at that young age.

The day after she’d broken down in the churchyard, she had spoken to the churchwarden and found out the boy’s name and where the family lived. She could so easily have just returned the mended donkey to his grave, but she had wanted to meet the family. Perhaps it was interfering on her part, but she had wanted them to keep the donkey safe, not to leave it at risk of being damaged again.

Eddie and Ros Tate lived on the outskirts of the village, and had been tearfully relieved to be reunited with the donkey – they had been to the churchyard only that morning and had been beside themselves when they’d found that the toys had disappeared. It turned out that the donkey belonged to the boy’s sister; she had wanted it to keep Ryan, her brother, company. They were a nice family, but a devastated one. To compound their misery, Eddie Tate had recently lost his job as a builder. Pen’s heart had gone out to them. But one thing she had always believed in was that sentiment, no matter how genuine, wasn’t enough; practical help was of far more use. What Eddie needed was not her sympathy, but a job, even a temporary one.

And that was when Stirling had come up with his proposition. Of course, it had always been there at the back of her mind, but hearing him actually say the words out loud made everything seem possible and real, and very exciting. From there their ideas just kept on growing, and as Lloyd had said, it was a win-win situation for everyone concerned. She couldn’t wait to get going with it all.

In the meantime, they had something looming on the horizon that the whole family was dreading. A date had been set for the inquest: the third week of January. Pen was going to have to stand in front of a jury in court and be subjected to the most awful and intimate questions. She would have to discuss the state of Neil’s mind prior to his suicide, their marriage, his affair with Simone, and whether or not she had been a party to the fraud.

Their barristers had warned them that the case could drag on, and that it would be horribly unpleasant. Everything would have to be laid bare; Pen’s feelings, or anyone else’s for that matter, would not be spared. Stirling would come under intense scrutiny as well. As would Rosco. Other employees of Nightingale Ridgeway would also be called to answer questions. No stone would be unturned. As his mistress, Simone would attract a particularly vile level of prurient interest.

The people Pen felt most sorry for were Lloyd and Cecily. It wasn’t fair that they should have to go through this. ‘It’s not fair for anyone to go through it,’ Cecily had said, ‘but we’ll do it, and we’ll provide a strong, united front.’

Looking about her here today, surrounded by the family – Charlie’s family too – and friends, Pen could feel the strength of that united front as palpably as the warmth coming from the fireplace where she was standing with Stirling. He looked very much his old self as he added more logs to the grate. He’d told her that for a short while, at his lowest point, he’d lost all respect for himself and had come close to what he’d described as unravelling. For peace of mind, he’d known that he had to come clean about Simone; he couldn’t lie to Gina about that. Pen admired him for his honesty. But then she had always admired honesty. Perhaps that was why she had forgiven Simone, and why they had become such unlikely friends. She had made it very clear to the family that when the inquest got under way, Simone was not to be isolated or ostracized. Regardless of what outsiders would think, she was to be part of the united front; they would all stand together.

A flurry of movement had Pen turning to the double doors that led out to the hall. She smiled. Louisa-May, the guest of honour, had finally made her entrance. She was being carried by her proud mother, with her godfather on her right and her godfather’s girlfriend on her left. Everyone noticed the group at the same time, and led by Charlie’s mother, a cheer went up, followed by a round of applause. As Charlie joined the small group and kissed Scarlet on the cheek, Pen tried not to think how much Neil would have enjoyed this moment.

Lloyd had been astounded when Scarlet had asked him to be Louisa-May’s godfather. ‘I don’t want any animosity,’ she had said. ‘I want Lulu-May to be part of a happy family, not one at war with itself. I know I behaved badly about your father and about Katie, but I really want to put that behind us. So, I was wondering if you’d like to be Lulu-May’s godfather. What do you think?’

‘I think I’d be honoured.’

‘Really? You’re not angry with me any more?’

‘As you say, let’s put all that behind us.’

She’d given him a small hug and then said, ‘I’m genuinely sorry how Rosco and I behaved about Katie before. It was very wrong of us. If she’ll accept my apology, I’d like to get to know her. After all, she is my half-sister. And that makes her at least a half-aunt to Lulu-May.’

This conversation had taken place a week after Lloyd had gone down to Brighton with Stirling, Cecily and his mother. When Katie had opened the door, Lloyd had heard her intake of breath, and only when Cecily had said why they were there had he and Stirling shown themselves. The look of astonishment on Katie’s face had been a picture. A mental picture he still liked to replay in his head. With the four of them working to persuade her that they weren’t leaving until they’d got everything sorted, she hadn’t stood a chance. She had put up a valiant show of resistance, but Stirling was having none of it. He was adamant that his mind was made up and that he knew exactly what he was doing, and that now he knew what he wanted, he felt infinitely better.

In the end, when they’d worn her down, Katie had taken Lloyd outside to the garden so they could talk in private. She was dressed in her pyjamas and dressing gown, and he’d tucked her in close to him. He had planned to say so much, but when it came to it he’d got sidetracked by kissing her. And then he’d just blurted out how he felt.

In the early hours of the morning, the journey back to Sandiford had been a lot less tense than the drive to Brighton. Both Cecily and Pen slept for most of the way home, but Lloyd and his uncle had talked, their voices low. They had spoken mainly about Dad, the good stuff, the bad stuff. Not once did Stirling mention Gina and what lay ahead for the two of them. And Lloyd didn’t ask.

The first he knew of a family thaw regarding Katie was when Scarlet rang and asked if they could meet up, as she had something important she wanted to discuss with him. It seemed obvious yet overly simplistic to say that motherhood had changed Scarlet, but how else to explain the transformation in her? According to Cecily, it was Scarlet who had talked her mother and Rosco round, asking them to reconsider and accept that it would be wrong for Stirling not to be able to treat Katie as a proper daughter. Apparently she had even said that the three of them were responsible for pushing Stirling to breaking point, and that she personally felt guilty about that.

It was supposition on Lloyd’s part, but he had the feeling that Stirling’s affair with Simone, as brief and as inconceivable as it was, had overshadowed the whole business with Katie. As Katie had said herself, perhaps she was the lesser of the two evils for them to cope with.

Whatever the truth was, Lloyd felt sorry for Gina; she’d had a hell of a lot to contend with lately. Having everything under control was her default mode, so the last few months must have been a nightmare for her. Looking at her today, though, you’d never guess at what she’d been through, or was continuing to go through. She hid her emotions well. Better than he ever could. But then he wasn’t sure he wanted to be that kind of person. He preferred being honest with himself and with others. Which was why he’d laid his cards on the table with Katie; he wanted her to know how much he cared for her, and to hell with any of her doubts about him using her as a crutch whilst getting over his father’s death. He knew he wasn’t doing that. He knew what he felt, that it was real; it wasn’t a passing phase.

Just as he knew that the love and respect he’d always had for his father had not been diminished in any way. Nor would it when it came to the inquest in January. He would stand by his father no matter what. As he hoped Dad would have done for him.

Six months on since his father’s death, and rarely did a day go by when Lloyd didn’t think of picking up the phone to ring him to get his advice on something, or to chat about nothing in particular, just as they always had. Katie said she regularly had the same reflex with her parents. He liked knowing that she understood; he felt he could share anything with her.

Now that they were alone – Scarlet and Charlie were posing with the baby, whilst Rosco took some photographs of them – Lloyd turned to Katie and slipped his hand through hers. ‘Let’s get a glass of champagne and go and talk to Granza,’ he said.

Stirling looked fondly at his mother. With Lloyd on one side of her and Katie on the other, it was a perfect tableau of a loving grandmother with her grandchildren. Always at the heart of this family, always rock-sure in her love, never blinkered by sentimentality, never afraid to stand up for what was right, Cecily was an exceptional woman. He was glad that Katie was having the opportunity to get to know her. Was it this that Fay had had in mind for her daughter? A sense of belonging?

He had come close to letting Fay down, but thank God he’d done the right thing in the end. The cost had been high, but he didn’t regret it. He was beyond regret. Or perhaps not entirely; he regretted hurting Gina. That she had forgiven him to the extent she had showed that she was also an exceptional woman.

‘You look very thoughtful.’

He turned to see Gina at his side. She held out a glass of champagne for him. He took it and smiled. ‘I was just thinking that this family would be nothing without one very important element.’

‘What’s that then?’

‘Its extraordinary women. Without you, Cecily, Pen and Scarlet, we’d be nothing.’

‘It’s good to be appreciated.’

‘I always did appreciate you, Gina, just not to the extent I now do.’

‘I hope you’re not going to say that you have to lose something to know its worth; that would be too trite.’

‘It’s true, though.’

Her expression softened. She held her glass up to his. ‘Well, here’s to being appreciated. As friends.’

‘
Good
friends,’ he added.

She nodded. ‘As good friends,’ she repeated.

They each took a sip of their champagne, and then Gina said, ‘Won’t you miss the office when you step down?’

He shook his head. ‘Not really. Working reduced hours as I have been these last few weeks, I feel even readier to leave. It’s time for me to go. Better for Rosco as well.’

‘You’re sure he’s ready to take over? These are difficult times.’

‘It doesn’t matter what I think. It’s what Rosco thinks that counts. But I have evry confidence in him meeting the challenges ahead.’

‘He’ll still feel the need to prove himself to you, you realize that, don’t you?’

‘Of course, and to do that he’ll want to make the firm bigger and better. I’ve decided that just as soon as the court case is over, I’ll resign. I won’t hang around. I’m looking forward to getting stuck in with the plans Pen and Katie have come up with for The Meadows. It’s a long time since I felt so excited about something. How about you? Do you have any plans?’

She laughed. ‘I’m enjoying being a full-time grandmother too much to think about doing anything else. But I have decided not to sell this house, once we’re divorced.’

‘I thought you were set on doing that?’

‘Thanks to Scarlet, I’ve had a rethink. Odds on there’ll be more grandchildren to come, and Willow Bank is ideal for having children to stay. And for hosting occasions like this.’

‘I’m glad you’ve changed your mind. I hated the thought of you leaving here. The house is yours; you made it what it is.’

She suddenly looked serious. ‘Perhaps I should have put as much effort into our marriage.’

He laid a hand on her arm. ‘Don’t say that.’

‘What if it’s true? I’ve talked about this with Pen. She’s adamant that she let things slide with Neil, that she kidded herself he was happy with the way things were because that’s what she wanted to believe. All along I thought that she was being weak and pathetic, but I can see that I underestimated her, that I always have. It took courage for her to admit her part in Neil having an affair. She could so easily have played the victim card, but she didn’t. Something I’m guilty of doing.’

‘No,’ he said firmly. ‘You mustn’t think that. Our situation was different to Pen and Neil’s. I acted badly. There’s no excuse for what I did.’

‘Do you really believe that, or are you trying to make me feel better? I’ve noticed you doing a lot of that lately. There’s no need, you know. I’m strong enough to face up to the truth. I just wish I’d done it sooner; it might have saved us both a lot of misery.’ Without giving him a chance to respond, she said, ‘Well then, I’d better circulate and make sure everyone is having a good time.’ Her tone was brisk and businesslike.