The Rabbi and The Rebbetzin (11 page)

Here,
Levine waxed nostalgic. “When I was bar
mitzvah, we were too poor to
afford a regular bar mitzvah teacher. My father taught me the Torah blessings
and I just had one
aliya
. We later had a small Kiddush in the shul to
celebrate. Young boys, especially those who study at the day school, do a lot
more these days. I would like Sammy to read the Torah portion plus the
Haftorah
by himself, and daven
Musaf
for the congregation.”

“That’s
a pretty big order for a young man” Aaron said. “It more or less dictates the
day chosen for the bar mitzvah. It can’t be on the
Shabbatim
immediately
after his thirteenth birthday although many parents prefer to do it that way.
The Code of Law requires that the boy be a full thirteen years of age before he
may read from the Torah publicly. While the portion of
Beshalach
is
after Sammy’s birthday, it contains the poem of
Az Yashir,
the Song at
the Red Sea. The portion of
Yisro
also contains the special reading of
the Ten Commandments. The rabbis frown on allowing bar mitzvah boys read these sections
publicly at the synagogue.

“That
means that Sammy will have to celebrate his bar
mitzvah on the week of
Mishpatim
.
That in itself is no problem as far as the Torah reading is concerned. If he
plans to daven
Musaf
, he will have to learn the melody for the Rosh
Chodesh prayers.”

Levine
was growing somewhat impatient with Aaron’s explanations. “It’s not so
important what Sammy will have to do at his bar mitzvah. What concerns me is
that whatever he does, someone has to teach him, and I would like you to be the
one.”

By
this time, Aaron was already prepared with his answer. “Believe me, Mr. Levine
that I would be honored to teach Sammy the entire bar mitzvah service, but I do
not wish to embarrass you or Sammy or myself. I never have taught a bar mitzvah
and I do not know how to do it. You certainly wouldn’t ask an illiterate person
to assemble a computer for you in your business, and this service has to be
done in the presence of scores of people. My own bar mitzvah was not much more
elaborate than yours and I barely got through it.”

Levine’s
face showed great concern. “What do you suggest that I do?”

“Fortunately,”
Aaron said, “I have a perfect solution for your problem and I pray that I can
work it out. You remember Shalom Pinkes who competed with me for the holiday
position. He knows all the prayers perfectly and has led the davening in
various congregations. More important is the fact that he has taught many bar mitzvah
boys. Shalom works as a head counselor in a religious boy’s camp during the
summer. When there is a camper who comes to the camp in the middle of the time
of his bar mitzvah training, Shalom continues his instruction. He also teaches
the young men who plan to daven for the congregation. Before he came to the
yeshiva, while yet in high school, he taught bar mitzvah students all year
around.”

Levine
rejoiced at the news. “This would be a perfect solution to the problem. Can you
convince Shalom to accept the assignment?”

Aaron
thought he could do so. But he wasn’t ready to climb out on a limb. “I
certainly will try hard to do so and I know that Shalom needs the money.
Shalom, however, does not do anything without the blessing and consent of Rabbi
Kurland, the Mashgiach. The Mashgiach was very unhappy when I undertook to work
at Beth Israel and I am afraid that he might oppose to Shalom accepting this
work. I am optimistic, however, and I should have an answer for you during the
coming week. Before I get further involved, I have another question for you. Do
you feel that Sammy is capable of performing all the things you expect him to
do?”

“I
have no fears on that score,” Levine answered. “Sammy is very bright and near the
top of his class in the day school. He is no Shulamit at this point, but then
again, who is? As far as working hard, Sammy can do it if he is properly
motivated.”

Aaron accepts
responsibility for Sammy Levine’s Bar Mitzvah preparation. The Mashgiach
consents.

 “I
guess that means another sports car,” Aaron said in jest.

“Fortunately,”
Abe replied, “he won’t be driving for another three years, so I can save the
money until then. Maybe if I promise him a trip to Disneyland it would be
sufficient.”

On
that note the conversation ended and Aaron left the study. Shulamit was sprawled
on the couch reading a textbook. Aaron asked her if she would like to go for a
walk, and Shulamit consented.

The
young couple walked for a while and then rested in the Dunberg City Park. “I
guess I won’t be seeing you for a long time,” Aaron said, “and I will miss you
very much.”

“I
am very flattered by your feelings,” she said. “Now that you have a new
computer, you can always send me an email and tell me how you are getting
along.”

“I
need to have your email address to do so,” Aaron said. “Will you answer me if I
write to you?”

“I
will”, she said, “If you keep it brief and don’t write a
megillah
.
Monday I start my Kaplan course in preparation for the LSAT.”

“What’s
the LSAT?” Aaron asked.

“That’s
the law school admission test. I have to get a high score in order to be
admitted to a high-ranking law school.”

“Shulamit,”
Aaron said in a whisper, “I have something to tell you. Our relationship has
changed since I first came to Dunberg. I assumed at the time that we could
become close friends and remain that way. After our tour last week, the
relationship has become a more emotional one.”

Shulamit
smiled at his words. “Now I know that you will be a great rabbi; you’re an
expert at speaking in euphemisms.”

“I
chose not to put it more bluntly, because I was afraid that you might think
that I was brazen.”

 “I’m
a big girl now, Aaron, and you can speak openly with me. Are you attracted to
me?”

“I
certainly am,” Aaron said. “I have never felt this way about anyone before I
met you.”

“What
makes you feel that way?”

“Let
me count the ways,” Aaron said.

“You
certainly got your money’s worth in your college Lit course. Elizabeth Browning
would be proud of the way you paraphrased her. Go ahead and count.”

“I
already mentioned that you are very smart. Let me also add that you are very
beautiful. I know that you are very rich. It doesn’t really matter much, but it
doesn’t hurt. What is of utmost importance is your character and charm.”

“Didn’t
King Solomon say ‘Beauty is vain and grace is deceitful’? He was looking for a
God-fearing woman and I am not so sure that I meet that requirement. I do like
your archaic forms of expression, though. It is a welcome change from what I
hear on campus. The guys always come over to me and say, ‘I dig you, Shulamit.’”

“I’m
sorry that I’ve had no opportunity to pick up the contemporary style, but
desire is from the heart and the outward expression is not significant. I think
a lot about you and my thoughts are all pleasant ones.”

“Now
that I know how you feel, Aaron, I think the time has come to set you straight
before it is too late. I can’t let you get any more involved with me because
you will only get hurt. You are a very good-looking man and the smartest fellow
I ever met. There is no doubt in my mind that once you finish the yeshiva, you
will embark on a professional career that would make me very proud of you.
There is one matter, however, that stands between us and will not go away. We
are so far apart in our worldly outlook that we could never bridge the gap. I
am a modern girl and I love to have fun. I sing and dance and go to parties. I
read stuff that you wouldn’t touch and I have ideas which you consider sinful.

“Let
me give you an example. As you can gather, I go out with a lot of men. Every
Tom, Dick and Harry who takes me out expects that when we come home from the
date I will let him kiss me. If I don’t, he will never call me again. If I go
out with you, you wouldn’t think of touching me. In fact you wouldn’t touch me
at all before we got married and half the time after that. How will I know what
to expect after marriage if I don’t have a taste of it during courtship?”

Nothing
in Aaron’s experience had prepared him to answer such a question. As far as he
knew, when it was time for a yeshiva man to get married, the Shadchan would
give him a name and a number. The boy’s mother would call the girl’s rabbi or
other members of the community to determine the candidate’s nature and
character. Such reports were never reliable because the people who were being
asked were prevented from telling the truth since they observed the prohibition
against slander (
lashon hara
). After a limited number of short meetings,
the engagement was announced and the marriage followed soon thereafter. It was
all a matter of mazel. Statistically, such marriages were no less successful
then those which followed ardent and romantic courtships.

Aaron
felt that he needed more time to think about what Shulamit said. To him, it was
no easy matter to give up any beliefs and practices for the sake of pleasing
Shulamit. He merely said to her, “I have to think of a solution to this problem
and it will take some time. I would be very unhappy if I lost you.”

When
the holiday was over, Aaron received his check from the shul and waited until
Shulamit was ready to drive him back to the yeshiva. Nothing was mentioned
during the short ride about their afternoon conversation. In the morning he
went to the bank to deposit his shul check.

Shalom
was due back at the yeshiva for their afternoon studies and Aaron spoke to no
one else about the bar mitzvah until the arrival of his
chaver
.

“I
have a serious matter to discuss with you, Shalom, before we start to learn.”

Before
Aaron could explain his problem, Shalom asked Aaron how things went in Beth
Israel.

 “With
one exception, everything was in order,” Aaron answered.

“What
was that?” Shalom inquired.

“It
seems that Abe Levine has a young son who is scheduled to be bar mitzvah in
February and Ilan Solomon won’t be back from Israel to prepare the boy.”

“I
can imagine the rest of the story without you telling me,” Shalom said. “I
guess that Abe Levine asked you to become a bar
mitzvah teacher for his
beloved son. You barely learned the holiday readings, and even if the kid is a
second Einstein, you couldn’t even teach him the
brachot
by that time.”

“If
you’re such a prophet, Shalom, tell me what happens next.”

“No need for prophecy on that one,” Shalom
said. “You promptly volunteered your dear friend Shalom and burdened him with
four months of hard work.”

“What
are good friends for, if not to bail out their friends when they get into
trouble over their heads? But, listen to me. There is a pot of gold at the end
of the rainbow on this project. I know that you have taught bar mitzvah boys
for less than $5 an hour and you were happy to get the work. Here we are
talking about fifty lessons which will earn you about $2,500 for the project.
Sammy, Levine’s son, attends the day school and at least you will not have to
teach him
Aleph-Beth
as in many of your other cases.”

Shalom’s
eyes lit up when he heard the sum involved. “I certainly can use the money and
it will get me out of debt. There is one hitch in this story though. I can’t
undertake a job like that without the approval of the Mashgiach and other
members of the faculty. They weren’t very happy letting you go to Beth Israel,
but at least they weren’t afraid that you would go astray. They may decide to
be more protective of me.”

Aaron
quickly made a distinction between serving as a rabbi of a congregation and
teaching a young boy to read the Torah. “Being a rabbi involves interacting
with non-religious families and worshipping in a shul that is not quite the
epitome of holiness on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur
.”

“I
gather that Levine needs an answer in a hurry if Sammy is going to read the
Torah, daven
Musaf
and make several speeches.”

“You
are right about the need for a quick decision,” Aaron said, “but at least I can
help you with the speeches. Let’s go over and say hello to the Mashgiach before
he leaves for the night.”

They
walked over to the office of the Mashgiach and knocked on the door. Rabbi
Kurland admitted them and welcomed them back from their vacation. “I take it
that you men have some important business for me if you haven’t started your
afternoon
Seder
.”

“We
are sorry to trouble the Mashgiach so early in the new term, but it concerns a
matter that cannot wait,” Shalom volunteered. “Aaron has a problem and I was
drafted to help him solve it.”

When
they were seated the Mashgiach inquired, “Before we get down to business, how
did things go at Beth Israel for Succos and Simchas Torah?”

“I
feel that things went very well, and I have a
shtar
(a check) to prove
it.”

“According
to the Talmud in
Kedushin,
” the Mashgiach said, “you now have two of the
three ways to betroth a woman, so you should be quite happy. Now, tell me what
is on your mind?”

Aaron
related the whole problem to Rabbi Kurland. The Mashgiach understood what was
involved, but before he would render a decision, he asked Aaron for additional
details. “How will this instruction be arranged?” he wanted to know.

Aaron
answered, “Sammy Levine attends the day school in Pittsburgh which is a few
blocks away from the yeshiva. He will walk over to the yeshiva after school and
meet Shalom in one of the empty classrooms for his instruction.”

The
Mashgiach then asked Aaron, “You met the boy during the holidays. Do you think
that he could learn to read the Torah and daven for the congregation by his bar
mitzvah?”

Aaron
answered, “The boy is very bright and is at the top of his class. Shalom told
me that he could teach that much to bar mitzvah boys with a day school
background in such a period of time.”

With
that, the Mashgiach said, “I am ready to give you my decision, although I must
warn you that I will want to have my verdict approved by the dean and the other
faculty members. You gentlemen understand that there are two aspects to this
problem. One is teaching a young man Torah. Teaching our sons is part of the
essence of the
Shema Yisrael,
and no rabbi could object to that. This is
especially true if the teacher is God-fearing and versed in Torah himself. Also
important is the fact that the instruction will be given within the walls of a
holy yeshiva, where such instruction is consistent with the goals of our own
yeshiva.

“When
we teach Torah at a yeshiva, the school is directly responsible for the quality
of the instruction. Every student who studies at a yeshiva brings credit to the
school if he learns well and discredit if he does poorly. I have confidence in
Shalom’s faith in God and his ability and I am sure that he will do well. Of
course we must take into consideration that this young man is the son of the
main patron of the yeshiva. If anything goes wrong, we will not only bring
shame upon the student but we may very well endanger the existence of the
yeshiva.

“I
am also aware that not helping our patron in this matter will have dire
consequences for the reputation of the yeshiva and its financial survival. But
if we are doing a mitzvah, I believe that God will bless our work. I therefore
approve the teaching of Sammy Levine by our student Shalom Pinkes.

The
other part of the problem is conducting the actual ceremony in a Modern Orthodox
synagogue, where observance of Orthodoxy is not quite optimal. As far as that
part of the question is concerned, I have to be a little more circumspect.
While Aaron’s performance at Beth Israel was on his own responsibility, that is
not the case here. Shalom will be attending the services to supervise the
performance of the bar mitzvah boy and will be doing so as a representative of
the yeshiva. It is unthinkable that a bar mitzvah teacher should not be
together with his student when his student is performing. For better or for
worse, if I am allowing Shalom to teach Sammy Levine, I have to allow him to be
present when the boy is called to the Torah.

“Another
change in my behavior will also become necessary. I know I’ve told the members
of the faculty that I never davened in a Modern Orthodox synagogue. I object to
kashrus hashgachos
(kosher supervision) where the rabbi who grants the
hashgacha
does not eat from the food he supervises. In effect he is saying the food is
good for common people but not good enough for me. That is a hypocrisy that I
which cannot tolerate. If I, as the Mashgiach of the yeshiva, permit Shalom to
daven in a Modern Orthodox congregation, even for one Shabbos, then I must be
willing to be there with him and share his actions. There are many situations
in the Halacha where permission is given to take an action on a temporary basis
as long as it does not become a permanent pattern of behavior. That feeling
will guide me in this situation and I will be at Beth Israel on the Shabbos of
Mishpatim
.