The Quest of the DNA Cowboys (8 page)

He was drifting in a half sleep when there was a furious pounding on the door. Billy woke with a start and reached towards the gun in his belt.

‘Who is it?’

‘Never mind who it is, open up.’

Billy carefully got up, and draped a blanket over his shoulder.

‘Hold on, I’m coming.’

Holding his gun in one hand, he opened the door a tiny crack with the other.

It was immediately kicked open and the barrel of a huge .70 calibre recoil-less pistol was shoved under his chin.

‘Police Department, freeze.’

Billy stood perfectly still as a huge beer gut of a man removed his gun, while his equally huge partner held the pistol at his throat.

The Dogbreath Police Department took pride in their appearance. They wore yellow metalflake helmets with a red star on the front and black visors. Their bodies were encased in black PVC one-piece suits with padding on the shoulders, ribs, elbows, crutch and knees, and decorated with a wealth of badges and insignia.

They were also well prepared. From a wide belt around their waists hung a riot stick, tear gas canisters, a stock prod, handcuffs and a narrow beam laser. All this was in addition to the .70 calibre recoil-less that each of them held in their pudgy hands.

The pistol was taken away from Billy’s throat.

‘Okay, relax, but don’t try nothing or I’ll blow your head off.’

The cop holding Billy’s gun looked at his partner.

‘Is he the one that shot the guy?’

The one holding the gun on Billy grinned.

‘Must be, Angelina’s up here with her shock box.’

Angelina sat up in bed.

‘Screw yourself, pig.’

‘Shut your mouth, honey, or we’ll book you for L and F.’

The one with the gun prodded Billy in the stomach.

‘So you’re the gun-happy kid?’

Billy tried to explain.

‘Listen, he pulled a laser on me …’

The cop slapped Billy across the face.

‘We’ll tell you when to talk.’

He pointed with his gun to the upright chair.

‘Sit.’

Billy sat. The two cops stood in front of him.

‘So you’re the killer who blasts down citizens of Dogbreath with his fancy reproduction pistol.’

The one with his gun spun it on his finger. Billy tried again.

‘He was roughing up Angelina, I hit him and he pulled a laser.’

‘So?’

‘It was self defence.’

‘So?’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘What makes you think Dogbreath has got any laws about self defence?’

‘It wasn’t my fault.’

‘No? You shot him, didn’t you?’

‘But …’

‘It’s lucky for you, kid, that Dogbreath don’t have no laws about killing, or you’d be in trouble.’

Billy looked bewildered.

‘So what are you here for?’

‘We don’t like gun-happy kids in town.’

‘But you said there was no laws …’

‘We kill who we don’t like. The stage leaves at midnight. Don’t miss it.’

Billy shook his head vigorously.

‘I won’t.’

The cop pulled a pad of printed forms from a pouch on his belt.

‘Sign here.’

‘What is it?’

‘Statement exempting the People’s Metropolis of Dogbreath from all claims by agents or relatives of the deceased.’

Billy signed.’

‘Okay, that’ll be …’

The cop counted on his fingers.

‘Conveyance Fee ten, Mortification Duty twenty, Disposal Fee twenty, and Law Enforcement Charge fifty. That’s a round hundred altogether.’

‘You mean I have to pay to go through this?’

‘You better learn, kid. Nothing comes free.’

They gave him his gun back.

‘Be on the stage.’

They left. Billy looked round at Angelina.

‘What was that all about?’

‘They shook you down for a hundred. You got taken, honey.’

‘So what was I supposed to do?’

She licked her lips with a swift, lizard-like flick of the tongue.

‘You could have killed them, and run.’

‘Wouldn’t that have been overdoing it?’

‘You don’t have any sense of class. No drama, no romance.’

Billy started to get into bed, but Angelina pushed him away.

‘I’ve gone off you, honey. I don’t think I want you anymore.’

‘What’s the matter with you?’

‘The way you handled those cops, you’re just no good, babe.’

Billy began to get annoyed.

‘I was good enough to handle your buddy with the laser.’

Angelina thought about it, and then slowly rubbed her thighs together.

‘Yeah, I guess you were at that. Come on back to bed.’

After another strenuous hour with Angelina and the induction coil, Billy passed out.

He woke up with Reave shaking him.

‘Wake up, old buddy. The stage leaves in an hour.’

Billy yawned.

‘Have I been out for that long?’

‘You have indeed.’

Billy sat up rubbing his eyes.

‘Got a smoke?’

Reave handed him a cigar, and then struck a match. Billy inhaled and coughed.

‘Did you have a good time last night?’

Reave grinned and winked.

‘I’ll say.’

Billy got out of bed and struggled into his clothes. Reave laughed.

‘You look rough, did you have a heavy night?’

Billy pulled on one of his cowboy boots.

‘Heavy.’

‘Yeah? What happened? Did you come back here with that blue chick? She looked weird.’

‘She was weird.’

Reave poked him in the ribs with his elbow.

‘Come on Billy, it’s me, Reave. What happened? Don’t be so cagey.’

Billy took another cigar from Reave and sat down on the bed. He began reluctantly to tell him about the killing in the saloon and the scenes that followed.

‘… And then, to top it all, the fucking cops took a hundred off me.’

The atmosphere of all boys together telling tales dropped away. Reave stroked his chin and looked worried.

‘How much money have you got left?’

‘About eighty, why?’

Reave looked guilty.

‘I don’t have more than that left myself.’

‘So? We’ve got a hundred and sixty between us, and the Minstrel Boy must have some more money.’

There was an awkward silence. Reave walked across to the window and looked down at the street.

‘That’s the trouble. I haven’t seen him for hours.’

‘You mean he hasn’t been back?’

‘There’s not a sign of him, and the stage goes soon. I mean, if he don’t show up in the next few minutes we’re in trouble. We don’t even know where the fucking stage goes to.’

Billy stuffed the last of his things into the bag and did up the straps.

‘We don’t need the Minstrel Boy to nursemaid us.’

He strapped on his gun belt.

‘We’ll go down to the stage, and if he doesn’t get on it, we’ll just ride it down to the next town and see what happens there.’

Reave slung his own bag over his shoulder. He still looked unhappy.

‘I don’t like it, Billy.’

Billy turned in the doorway.

‘What’s the matter with you? We’ve done okay so far. We don’t need anyone to look after us.’

Reave shrugged, and followed Billy out of the door.

‘Maybe you’re right.’

In the foyer Mohammed stood behind the counter and watched them walk to the door.

‘Good luck on your journey, boys.’

Billy glanced back at him.

‘Yeah, right.’

Whatever Billy and Reave had expected, the stage was a total surprise to them. It was like something out of a legend. Billy had seen pictures of things like it, back in Pleasant Gap. The battered wooden coach with its high spoked wheels, small square windows, three on each side, and the brass rail round the luggage rack on the roof. None of the pictures had shown anything like the four huge green lizards that were harnessed to it, and squatted on their haunches, waiting for the journey to start.

On the boardwalk, beside where the stage waited, there was a signboard. Overland Hollow City and Dogbreath Stage Co. - Passengers Wait Here. Only one man stood beside the sign. He wore a wide-brimmed bat hat with a band of silver and turquoise links, and an ankle-length, dirty yellow duster coat. His pin-stripe trousers were tucked into high black boots. As Billy and Reave approached, he turned and they saw he had a weather-beaten brown face with a blond drooping moustache and short pointed beard. A strap across his chest, outside his denim work shirt, indicated that he was wearing a shoulder holster. He looked Billy and Reave up and down.

‘Well now, two more for the stage. Where you boys headed?’

Billy shrugged.

‘Anywhere, we’re just drifting along.’

The man stroked his beard.

‘You better stay on the stage right through to Hollow City. This here stage only stops at two other places. Sade and Galilee. Galilee is bad, and Sade you don’t even want to talk about in broad daylight.’

Billy and Reave looked at each other.

‘Looks like it’s Hollow City for us.’

Two men came down the boardwalk. Both wore peaked caps and heavy fur coats. One carried a long whip, while the other cradled a wicked-looking riot gun in the crook of his arm. The one with the gun climbed up on to the driver’s box of the stage, while the other stopped in front of Billy, Reave and the man in the hat and long coat.

‘Stage is leaving, let’s have your fares.’

The man dropped some coins in the driver’s hands and climbed into the coach. Billy was the next in line.

‘How much to Hollow City for the two of us?’

It didn’t look as though the Minstrel Boy was going to show.

‘Two hundred.’

Billy felt an empty feeling hit his stomach.

‘How far can we get on seventy-five each?’

‘Galilee.’

Billy thought about what the man in the hat had just said. Then he thought about what the police had said the night before.

‘I guess it better be Galilee then.’

They paid the driver and climbed inside the coach. The man in the hat looked at them inquiringly.

‘Thought you were going to Hollow City?’

Billy scowled.

‘We were, but we found we only had enough money to make it as far as Galilee.’

The man shook his head.

‘That’s too bad, boys. Rather you than me.’

Reave looked at him.

‘What’s wrong with Galilee?’

‘They don’t like strangers.’

Billy was about to ask him to go into more detail when the coach gave a lurch and then slowly began to rattle down the main street of Dogbreath. Once out of the town, the driver whipped up the lizards and soon they were bouncing over the plain at a merry pace. Reave grinned at Billy.

‘Sure beats walking.’

Billy sighed.

‘I guess it does.’

The man took off his hat, and laid it on the seat beside him. He fished a flask out of his coat, took a hit from it and offered it to Billy. Billy accepted the flask and took a healthy swig. It felt as though his mouth and throat were on fire. His eyes watered, and he coughed.

‘What in hell is this?’

The man winked.

‘You know what they say. Don’t ask no questions.’

Billy passed the flask to Reave, who, despite a little more caution, went through the same performance. He handed the flask back to the man, who took another swallow, put the cap back on the flask and pocketed it.

‘If we’re going to be travelling together, I’d best introduce myself. People call me the Rainman.’

He stuck out a hand. Billy and Reave both shook it.

‘I’m Billy, and he’s Reave.’

‘Pleased to know you.’

The stage rattled on, and Billy wondered if he ought to ask the Rainman what exactly was wrong with Galilee. Before he could say anything, Reave started a conversation with him.

‘If you don’t mind me asking, why do people call you the Rainman?’

The Rainman laughed.

‘Because I bring on the rain.’

‘Huh?’

‘These stasis towns, you know, they get bored and they hire me on. Ain’t you never heard my slogan?’

Reave shook his head.

‘Can’t say I have.’

The Rainman recited.

‘Change your weather, change your luck. Teach you how to … find yourself.’

‘Neat slogan.’

‘I think so.’

‘What I can’t figure Is why these people want the weather changed. Nobody grows nothing since Stuff Central set up in business,’

The Rainman grinned knowingly.

‘They don’t. Not until I get to town.’

‘So what happens?’

‘Well, I just ramble into town, hang around for a couple of days, tell a few people about how the weather used to be in the ancient days. I tell them about rain, clouds, sunshine, showers, thunder and hurricanes, and pretty soon they get to thinking about how dull it gets with the old white sky and even temperature, and that’s the time I make them an offer.’

‘An offer for what?’

‘An offer to lay on some weather.’

Reave looked impressed.

‘You can really do that?’

‘Sure can.’

He glanced up at his bag on the rack.

‘Got me this little old limited-field disrupter, trapped it myself out in the nothings a few years back, and I ain’t been short of a meal or a drink or a woman since.’

‘So what exactly do you do?’

‘It’s simple, son. I just set up that disrupter in the middle of those bored old stasis towns and give him a couple of kicks to get him going, and bingo. They got weather. Rain, snow, heatwave, lightning, fog, as much weather as they could want. Of course, it ain’t exactly like it was in the old days. They don’t have the same weather for more than ten minutes at a time, and now and then things get a bit out of hand, and they maybe get a hurricane or an earthquake or something like that that they didn’t exactly bargain for. When that happens, I find myself leaving town in a hurry, but it works out okay in the end.’

Reave scratched his head.

‘What happens when these people get all this weather? We never had anything like that in Pleasant Gap.’

The Rainman laughed again.

‘Son, you should see them go. They just about go crazy. Dancing about, singing and shouting. And the women, oh boy, you should see those women get it on. And me, well, I started it all and that puts the good old Rainman right at the front of the line.’