The Quest for the Heart Orb (4 page)

Bredon shifted uncomfortably in the saddle.  Until Marene’s vile, uninvited, and unwelcome invasion of his body and mind, he’d considered himself an honorable man.  Since then, the things he deemed
best hidden,
especially from Kapia, had been piling up, and he wasn’t at all proud of it.

Bredon heard footsteps coming down the mountain and knew without a moment’s doubt that it was Kapia.  He didn’t question how he knew it.  He just knew it.  He reined his diplo in and dismounted just as Kapia flew around the bend in the trail, her long dark hair flying behind her.  He blinked in surprise at the sight of her long slender legs encased in black leather beneath a split skirt that, like her hair, streamed behind her, then forgot about it as his gaze traveled upward to her soft brown eyes and tear wet cheeks. 

She skidded to a stop when she saw him, then pressed her palms together and bowed.  When she straightened she opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.  Bredon understood.  He had no words either.  He braced himself and spread his arms wide.

Kapia didn’t hesitate.  She leapt into them, wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her face into his throat as she held on to him as though she would never let go.  Bredon returned her embrace, his eyes closed as he savored the moment, committing it to memory.  The way she felt in his arms, the damp warmth of her tears on his neck, the fresh, clean scent and silky feel of her hair, the pounding of her heart in counterpoint to his own.  But most of all, he wanted never to forget the sight of her face, blazing with love for
him,
as she’d raced toward him.  He would never forget the sensation of his heart swelling near to bursting with love as she threw herself into his arms without thought or regard to modesty or convention. 

How long they stood on the mountain trail, holding tightly to each other, neither of them knew nor cared.  But when Kapia raised her head to look at him, her love still shining so pure and bright from her eyes, Bredon suddenly understood two things.

The first was that a life without Kapia’s love would be a dark, bleak existence that he wanted no part of.  The second was that that the time had come for him to begin treating her as the woman she was rather than the girl she’d once been.  And that meant telling her those things he’d been keeping from her.  Not everything.  Not yet.  But he had to begin, and he had to begin right now.  “I love you, Kapia,” he said, his arms tightening around her.  “I think I was born to love you.”

“I think we were born to love each other,” Kapia said with a watery smile.

“I have a couple of things to tell you before I see or speak to anyone else,” he said.  “I’m afraid you won’t like hearing them, but I have to tell you.”

Kapia looked into his eyes.  “Tell me whatever you need to, but please, keep holding me while you do.”

“That’s no hardship,” he agreed.  He lifted her a bit higher and remembered she was wearing pants.  “Wrap your legs around my waist,” he whispered before he could stop himself.  Kapia immediately did as he bid, causing a wave of intense desire to wash through him.  He closed his eyes and held her tightly as he waited for it to pass.  When he opened his eyes again he found himself staring into her soft brown eyes with so much trust and love that it almost hurt to see.  He was no longer worthy, he knew that.  But he could try to be.  “Worrow,
Zamon
of the Sirelina, is dead, and I’m responsible.”

Kapia’s eyes widened in surprise, but she didn’t say anything.  It was only when she slid one hand from around his neck and brushed his cheek lightly with her fingers that he realized he had tears on his face.  “Marene killed him, didn’t she?  While she was in control of your body?”

“Yes, she did,” Bredon said, wondering why he’d ever imagined she wouldn’t understand.  Kapia had always understood him.  “I didn’t know until a few days before I reached Darkly Fen, but I should have told you when I figured it out.  I’m sorry, Kapia.”

“There is nothing to apologize for, Bredon,” Kapia said.  “It wasn’t your fault, and you’re not responsible for anything Marene did just because she used your body to do it.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” he said.  Kapia frowned, wondering what he meant by that, but he spoke again before she had a chance to ask.  “The other thing I have to tell you, and this is worse because I should have told you long ago, is that before we left Ka-Teru Marene tricked and drugged me in order to perform a ritual that made me her
fudaso
.”

“
Fudaso
?” Kapia asked.

“When she turned to the black arts, she needed an anchor in the light and I was, apparently, handy,” Bredon explained.  “She drugged me so that I couldn’t object to the ritual, during which she bedded me.  Do you know what that means?”  Kapia could only nod, unwilling to trust her voice as she tried not to look at the image that suddenly popped into her mind.

“I swear to you, Kapia, it was not my choice,” Bredon said, his heart aching at the sudden pain in her eyes.  “I didn’t know what was happening at the time and I remember almost nothing of it even now.”

Kapia’s arms tightened around him, and for a long moment she buried her face in his neck again so that he couldn’t see her, but she made no move to push him away.  Bredon waited, barely breathing as she processed all that he’d told her.  When she raised her head and gazed into his eyes once more, he knew she’d made some sort of decision.

“I’m so sorry, Kapia,” he began, but she pressed a gentle finger to his lips.

“I understand better than you can know, and I’ll tell you why.”

“All right.”

“Marene did much the same thing to Saigar.  The difference is that Saigar ended up becoming
cin
sahib
because of Marene’s manipulations.  You, at least, were able to avoid that.”

Bredon shuddered.  “I doubt that I would have been able to avoid it had she tried to get that promise from me,” he admitted.  “As I said, I remember almost nothing of what happened, and I certainly didn’t know why she’d done it.  I assumed it was done out of anger at Zakiel.  A last, desperate effort to make him jealous when he refused to allow her to join the Orb Quest.  I never suspected that she was evil.  Cold, selfish, cruel, and without morals, yes, but not
evil
.  I’m sorry, Kapia.”

“Stop apologizing, Bredon,” she said.  “You were a victim.”

“I should have told you,” Bredon said.  “Not when it happened, as we had no understanding then.  But I should have told you later, when we spoke through the orb after she possessed me.”

“You didn’t trust me,” Kapia said sadly.  “You didn’t trust me to understand.”

“I’m sorry, Kapia,” he said.  “The truth is, I was afraid.”

“Yes, I can understand that,” she said with a soft sigh.  “Why did you decide to tell me now?”

“Because you need to know the truth, even if it means you’ll decide to walk away from me,” Bredon said, the words as ashes in his mouth, but true, nevertheless.  “I love you more than my very life, but I am not worthy of you.”

“I don’t agree,” Kapia said.  “My heart knows your heart, Bredon.  I do wish you’d told me, but my love for you will not change because you kept a few secrets from me.”

“Thank you,” Bredon whispered with feeling.  “I’m so lucky to have your love.”

“Yes, you are,” she said with a saucy grin.  “Now, is that all you needed to tell me?”

“No,” Bredon admitted.  “But I think it’s enough for now.”

“Agreed,” Kapia said, touching the corner of his mouth with one fingertip. 

Bredon’s breath caught in his throat at the sensation of her finger on his lip.  Every nerve in his body suddenly focused on that single touch and before he could stop himself, he pressed his mouth against hers and thrust his tongue into her mouth with a deep moan.  Kapia stiffened in surprise for a single heartbeat, then she relaxed in his arms and met his tongue with her own.  She was hesitant at first, but her passion rose as quickly as his, and she caught on fast.  Within moments she was returning his caresses, rubbing her warm, velvety tongue against his.

It was only due to a desperate need for air that forced Bredon to tear his mouth from Kapia’s.  He leaned his forehead against hers, both of them gasping in an effort to fill their lungs.  His entire body ached and throbbed as he struggled to think through a haze of intense desire.  He suddenly knew that if they didn’t stop this instant, they wouldn’t stop at all. 

He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, pulling himself back from the precipice.  When he thought he could trust himself to speak, he opened his eyes and raised his head, nearly groaning at the matching heat and unfocused expression of desire on Kapia’s face. 

“We must stop, Kapia,” he said, his voice strained with the effort of holding back.  “We are standing on a mountain trail in full view of any who care to look.”

Kapia nodded reluctantly.  “Yes, I know,” she said, her voice trembling.  “But Bredon, I don’t want to waste any more time.  Do you understand me?”

“Yes,
surna
, I understand,” Bredon said, squeezing her gently before placing his hands at her waist.

She reluctantly unlocked her ankles and lowered her feet to the ground, then rose up on her toes to kiss him one last time, her palm brushing his jaw lightly.

Bredon released her, then turned away.  He walked over to his diplo and began adjusting the ties on his pack, a completely unnecessary exercise that served only to give him time to calm himself.  It took longer than he hoped for the bulge behind the laces of his pants to return to a more relaxed state, but he consoled himself with the knowledge that Kapia could have no real understanding of the reaction she’d caused, or his effort to conceal it.  When he was able to face her fully he was a little taken aback to see her standing several feet away, her face red as she stared steadily at the ground beneath her feet.  He felt his own face heat as he realized she knew a bit more than he’d given her credit for. 

He cleared his throat and picked up his diplo’s reins.  “Shall we?”

“Yes, of course,” Kapia said, not quite looking at him as they began walking up the trail.  Bredon knew she was still embarrassed, but he couldn’t stop himself from looking at her.  “You are even more beautiful than when I last saw you,” he said after a long silence. 

“I don’t think my appearance has changed much in just a few weeks,” Kapia replied, smiling.

“There’s definitely something different,” Bredon said, stopping to study her for a moment.  Now that she was no longer in his arms, he was able to see the changes in the way she stood, and the way she carried herself. 

While Bredon had been studying her, she’d been studying him in return.  “You look tired, Bredon,” she said with a worried frown.  “And you’re much too thin.  I shouldn’t have made you hold me for so long.”

“You didn’t make me do anything, and I enjoyed every second of it,” Bredon said.  He glanced down at himself and grimaced.  “I should be the one apologizing for even touching you in my current state.  I’m in dire need of a hot bath and clean clothing.”

“That’s easily seen to,” Kapia said.  “Come, let’s get back to camp.  Everyone will be so excited to see you.”

Bredon took her hand and they began walking again, though he continued to watch her.  “Are those men’s pants you’re wearing beneath your skirt?”

“No, Bredon, they’re
women’s
pants,” Kapia replied with an altogether too innocent smile.  “Don’t you like them?”

“Perhaps a bit too much,” Bredon said ruefully.  “When did you begin wearing pants?”

“When I realized how dangerous it was to do battle with bunches of fabric wrapping around my legs,” Kapia said, her smile gone. 

“Since you still wear a skirt over the pants, I’m afraid I don’t see the point.”

“The skirt is for modesty, of course,” Kapia said.  “We designed it so that, if necessary, we can easily remove it in a moment, allowing us to fight unencumbered.  The loss of a little modesty seemed a small price to pay for the ability to defend our own lives.”

“It seems to me that the better solution is not to engage in battle to begin with.”

“I will not go looking for a fight, Bredon, but this is the Orb Quest, and like it or not, we are regularly attacked, as you well know,” she said quietly.  “If I can help by fighting, I will.  If not, I will stay out of the way.”

Bredon started to speak, but held back, swallowing his words.  He’d already made the mistake of reacting emotionally on this subject.  He’d told her then that she had no business fighting no matter the circumstances, and that she wasn’t Lady Techu with mysterious powers and a Ti-Ank.  He realized now that he’d probably hurt her, and he didn’t want to do that again. 

This time he would use his head, not his fear.  He noted again how she held herself, and remembered her rapidly advancing skill with the staff.  If he hadn’t seen it for himself, he probably wouldn’t have believed she was new to the weapon.  The change he’d seen coming before he’d been forced to leave the Orb Quest had blossomed in his absence.  Before him now stood a strong, self-confident woman with all of Kapia’s heart and soul, backed up by the skill and courage to face whatever came her way. 

“Are you still interested in learning the sword?” he asked, surprising a gasp from Kapia.  He laughed as he tugged her closer to his side, then leaned down to whisper in her ear.  “I see you, Kapia, as you are now, as you’ve repeatedly asked me to do, and I find you more glorious than ever.”

“You weren’t so accepting a few days ago,” she said, her arch look letting him know that she wasn’t angry about it, but that an explanation wouldn’t hurt.

“No, I wasn’t, and I’m sorry for that,” he said, weaving their fingers together as he searched for the words to explain.  “The last time I watched you spar, your skill with the staff was phenomenal.  In a handful of weeks you’d advanced so much that only Karma and Zakiel could have bested you, and I’m not altogether certain about Zakiel.  But there is more to being a warrior than skill with a weapon.  You must
believe
in yourself, Kapia.  You cannot go into a battle doubting yourself in any way because if you do, you will die.  Maybe not the first time, or the second, but one day you will hesitate and that will be your last battle.”